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Exposures for fear of going crazy and sound Hello! I’m new to this forum. I have been working with a therapist for over a year and am not progressing as I had hoped, so I am trying NOCD. I’m excited to connect with others that struggle like me. I’m 51 and was a late bloomer to ocd. I was an anxious child, but no real ocd symptoms until around 23. At that time I developed harm intrusive thoughts. I sought the help of a therapist and was put on Paxil and buspar. Overall, the next 25 years were great! Ocd was really non existent. Fast forward to 48, menopause, getting rheumatoid arthritis, empty nest etc and my anxiety disorder is worse than in my 20’s. Anyway, over the last couple years I’ve tried several different SSRI meds and finally decided enough is enough and started therapy as well. I’ve been on on luvox for about 5 months now. it has helped tremendously with my harm intrusive thoughts, but I still struggle so much with fear of getting schizophrenia. I cannot shake it no matter how often I am told that I don’t have it. Around the time I started luvox, I noticed a sensitivity to sound and tinnitus symptoms. Like I hear everything - white noise type sounds. This is where the fear took root. I woke up one day and the fan was on. I swore it sounded like chatter or a radio. Welcome new obsession! So now, I find myself listening intently to everything I hear. I joke that hearing is now my super power. But, what is most distressing is that I find myself checking, listening and judging sound. Like a heater or fan will kick in or a fan and I’ll notice it and be like - “is that a radio?” Or I hear the motor on my laptop and insert my own scary narrative of what it “sounds” like - is that chatter? Full on panic attack. Then, I’ll have instances when I swear I hear a radio - most of the time it’s explained away (passing traffic, outside noise, appliances) and other times I freak out because I can’t find the source and it’s “proof” of my impending doom of “going crazy”! Logically, I can look at this as normal - we all mishear things from time to time. But mostly my ocd/anxiety takes over and convinces me this is NOT normal and I should be scared and afraid! This is totally reassurance seeking, but has anyone else become hyper aware or noise? I suppose this would be considered health ocd? And what exposures have worked for fear of going crazy/schizo? TIA! 😊

Guys with HOCD tryna chat?

My daughter has HOCD and she told me today she does compulsions in her head to prove she is straight and not gay . Is this normal With HOCD

Intrusive thoughts about my sexuality disappeared in 2015 and returned during lockdown in July 2020. I have no idea why they went away for so long, but what I take from that is that it is possible to live life without them. I didn't realise in 2015 that I was experiencing intrusive thoughts or potentially SOOCD. I thought I was the only person on the planet experiencing this. In those 5 years completely free from those thoughts, I use to look back on it and laugh about it. I'd even confidently tell others about it and how silly it would make me feel looking back on it. It may seem dire right now and you're full of dread, but as long as there is possibility, you can get through this.

Is there anyone else who deals with false attractions, that actually feel real?

i see a lot of people here who have sexuality ocd and have intrusive thoughts that they are gay. can it happen to gay people? is anyone here worried that they are actually straight? i’m not sure if its soocd or internalised homophobia

TW i had a self harm relapse and i just really don’t feel good. i’ve had enough

Can I talk to an advocate who has gone through POCD and SOOCD

why does cheating ocd make me feel like such a liar. i told my boyfriend that i had asked a guy to hangout once when we first began dating and i asked the guy to come hangout as a friend but my rocd is saying i lying to my bf and i wanted to hangout with that guy as more than friends 😞. even though i really didn’t. i hate this so much, this is so hard. someone tell me i’m not alone.

I am 23F who is living with my boyfriend of many years. We just got married and it should be a happy time for us, but I’m under a considerable amount of stress because of what I will describe below. I have always been turned by erotic images of women, erotica of men using women, and pictures/large breasts. This is only women in erotic photos. Not girls at school or anything like that. Never people I know in person. This is basically what I enjoy in bed (men touching me there, etc). However, I’m nervous because I don’t get these same reactions to erotic images of men. But I’m pretty sure I like men? I feel very aroused and have a racing heart around men I’m attracted to before we kiss. I feel that pull, excitement, and heat when you’re with a guy you’re attracted to. I also fantasize about men I am attracted to in situations where we date/hug/have sex. This doesn’t happen for women. I have always had crushes on men (not like the master doc, like forceful crushes). And have always wanted to kiss a man, have a man touch me, have sex with a man. I’m worried because sex with my boyfriend has always been meh. I’m really nervous because I’m afraid it means I’m not attracted to him and he isn’t very good at knowing what to do to me. I’m also nervous because I’m not turned on if he gets in the shower with me or starts making out with me out of nowhere. Sometimes I am, but not always. Is this all in my head! Am I fighting a losing battle? Tonight has been my worst night in weeks. I just spoke with a woman who said I could be bi. I just want help Anyone who read this much, thanks. I get this was a dumb read but I have no one else

This is two questions (sort of), which I hope neither are a compulsion. I ask you please read both: 1) Does your ocd ever try to convince of a lie, as in a thought that you have actually done something (for example, a rude insult or baseless assertion), which you know you never would comment or say? Like, do the thoughts ever make you feel as if you are becoming delusional? 2) Sometimes I feel like I suck as a sibling, as a son, and as a friend because of my ocd. I feel like I don’t measure up to who I once was. I hate myself sometimes, since I am not as happy or carefree—always laughing—as I once was before. I live in constant doubt. The anxiety is manageable sometimes, other times, however it is unbearable. All I ever aspired in life was to make a positive impact on others lives, to inspire them and be a role model, a person anyone can turn to in a time of need. I have an amazing family, but I can see the disappointment I bring now. They are patient, mostly. But none of them understand the torment I go through with my battles against ocd. I just feel alone and tired. Anybody have some good advance to hold on and be strong, better myself? How did you overcome your battles with ocd? Thank you for reading, and much love.

Can someone tell me grave differences between HOCD and internalized homophobia ?

HELP! Anyone with HOCD be out in a restaurant in public or something and look at every single same sex individual (I mean like stare) and constantly and look back and forth at them to see if they’re “attractive” or not? Why do I do this? How do I stop this???? PLEASE HELP!!! PLEASE

Hey guys, just looking for life advice from those who are religious, I struggle with being gay because I am religious, any advice?

What is everyone's diet here? Plant based ? Keto? High sugar diet? Anyone here also have digestive issues... i have internall hemorrhoids and also IBS which im working on a diet to heal my gut. Curious to hear anyone elses thoughts on this other than damn ocd.

Ok so now I’m thinking I should really get better cuz I’m honestly seeing more potential at the gym and I’d rather be ok and be able to act on my positive thoughts when I see an attractive women. I guess I’m just depressed cuz and don’t feel like being better cuz I think I’ll never meet someone but now I’m like in the chance that I do I want to be out of my head so that I can ask a girl out and see where it goes and be ready for anything thrown my way in life. I don’t need to have a job but it would be nice to have one. I don’t need friends but it would be cool to have some. I don’t need to have conversations with strangers but it would be cool to feel normal when I do have conversations. It would actually be really fucking awesome if I had my own car again and to have my own place just to bring a women back where it be for one night or for multiple nights if it turns out that way. I want to be able to think straight than to be nervous all the time and think I might mess up something and revert back to my ocd. One step at a time now. Need to figure out a plan to handle my soocd better and the thoughts that stop me from having an erection when I see a pretty girl. Let’s go.

If you’re going through cheating ocd I want you to read this! Idk if this will help anyone but I once was a real cheater about two years ago as in I was having an emotional affair with someone as well as sending dirty texts to someone in my past relationship. I want you all to know that when I was doing such act I did not feel guilty I did it about three times the only time I ever felt guilty was when my ex would spoil me or show me love. Never once did I feel guilty I only felt guilty when he would show me affection but I felt guilty because I was like damn I’m a cheater and him being nice to me is making me even feel worse about myself. I recall cheating because he would ignore me, send disgusting nude pics of woman in group chats with his buddies, and he didn’t respect me, and I wasn’t all that into him he disgusted me and had terrible hygiene, only seemed to care about his guy friends than me. Eventually though I felt bad but I felt bad because I didn’t want to be a cheater, it was not because of hurting my ex. I felt guilty and bad for myself not for my ex. I remember at one point I felt so bad and guilty that I was a cheater that I told him the truth but I sugar coated it and twisted the truth and I would try to convince myself I didn’t do anything wrong when I knew exactly what I did especially because the proof and truth was there within my memory. What I’m trying to say is if you’re undergoing cheating ocd and you feel guilt about hurting your partner then obviously you’re not a cheater. A real cheater doesn’t worry about hurting their partner a real cheater only feels guilty because they’re afraid of being judged for cheating and feel guilty because the affection their partner shows them makes them feel worse about being cheaters. Never once do real cheaters care about hurting their partner also real cheaters don’t go back to ruminate about whether or not they did something wrong. Also if you fear you cheated and your ocd is telling you what if you forgot and just don’t remember! Trust me if you actually cheated or put yourself in that position you’d remember. Also real cheaters don’t blame themselves for being cheaters they blame their partner for making them cheat.

I want to open up about something I struggle with still, and maybe some of the people I comment and offer help on may in turn have ideas for me? Because we know ocd is a constant path of recovery we coast on I struggle a lot with picture-taking. I feel like any time I notice something I want to “remember”, I need to take a photo of it. And if it doesn’t look exactly like how I’m seeing it (a plant catching the sunlight, my body in the mirror), i need to continue retaking it. This is starting to get to be a problem because I’ll end up taking around 50 or more photos a day. My phone gets super cluttered, and when I can’t find a photo of something actually important/worth keeping, it’s very embarrassing. I go back and delete as many old screenshots and random photos, but until I stop doing it every day I’m basically treading water. I’m not sure if this need to remember something exactly how it was in that moment came about (I think when one of my family members passed away from dementia I got this fear of not being able to preserve things exactly so) but I figure as a community, I could reach out to some of you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read. :)

is there any good songs about ocd? not the stereotypes, though. i like to use music to help with my thoughts, and finding lyrics i relate to really help :)

becoming crazy with life, cant speak english nor spanish no more, ocd killing me, loneliness killing me, depression killing me life is worthless