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am i the only one that doesn’t have any attraction to the opposite gender

I've currently been struggling with something that is going to make me sound like a piece of shit, even I recognize how messed up it's going to sound. Over the past couple months, I have been worrying about the proper way to interact with a POC without coming across as racist. I know, this is already awful. I consider myself to be an ally who supports POC movements. I'm ashamed of white people honestly, we've oppressed POC from the beginning of time. I'm personally ashamed of my ethnicity. I've been even more so in the past year. I feel like my OCD has recently attached to this though. At least, I think it has, or maybe it's guilt knowing I'm white and part of systemic racism problem as a whole. When I pass a POC on the street, or in a place of business, I'll immediately start to get thoughts like "Am I coming across as rude? Am I being nice enough? Am I being too nice? This isn't about me, so why am I anxious? Stop being so self centered? Are you appearing racist? What if this POC thinks I'm racist? That's awful to assume what they think. Stop making this about you." And basically the entire time I'm trying to interact with someone of color, I have all this dialogue in my head, I'm anxious and I probably physically appear to be anxious, which in turn I'm sure the other person think "Why are they acting so tense/afraid?" It's not that I'm afraid, or dislike POC, I'm way to overly cautious and it's actually coming across as racist I'm sure. And I don't want to make this about me, because it's not, I can only imagine the racism POC have to endure on a daily basis. It's like my own OCD/anxiety is getting in the way of my empathy. I hate it. I want to get over it. I don't know why it's coming up, but I want to get past this.

I’m so scared of myself. Does anyone ever feel like their thoughts are so frequent that it feels like your impulses are real reflections of who you are? I get so nervous every time I drive and go out now, worried that I won’t be able to hold myself back and I’ll snap. I hate these thoughts and feel like I deserve to die. Please tell me I’m not alone. I don’t ever want to hurt anyone.

NSFW HOCD i check my nails in the way lesbians check their nails, my ring finger is longer than my pointer finger on both hands, i’ve been asked if i’m a lesbian before, i’ve had this theme since I was 12 (i’m now 19), graphic lesbian porn turns me on, i questioned my sexuality 2 times before the hocd at ages 10/11 then forgot about it and went back to liking boys, the hocd started with groinal responses, i have masturbated to a girls body once before, i worried i had a crush on a girl when i was 11 for two days but never again, i’m alt looking, i’m an english major, etc. the list goes on and on. this clearly is not ocd. someone please respond. how can i possibly dispute this evidence?

It sucks when you feel like you're the only one who struggles with a certain thing

I'm looking for some comfort. I'm having a hard time at work this morning unfortunately, because I mistakenly mentioned my OCD to a coworker who is completely ignorant to anything anxiety related. He replied, "I dont like labels, you just have tendencies" he seemed to scoff at the idea of needing a therapist. I was reminded of how fragile i am, because I got so angry at the thought of all the internal suffering and torment i went through because of ocd, and that some people have no clue just how severe it can be.. And to think someone completely ignorant to it thinks they know what I went through when they dont even have an inkling..I'm hoping someone here will reply and remind me there are people who get it. It's not a joke, it's not exclusive to keeping things orderly, it's not something you can just get over

I have a theory. With pure o thoughts there is always urgency to solve, figure out, high anxiety etc. I believe this is because there is great conflict going on in the brain between the truth and what the ocd thought is suggesting. If you think about something real,negative,bad, maybe a mistake or something you regret, it doesn’t feel the same, it just feels different somehow. Just something I’ve noticed in myself and thought I’d share.

How to date with hocd and rocd? I have no dating experience and I'm struggling. I've tried dating apps but never really find anyone I feel attracted to which fuels everything. I've been alone for so long it feels pointless. I also feel tons of anxiety to even date. Not sure how to navigate this.

Racism OCD. Thinking I'm a bad person and feel ashamed around POC I know this is going to sound horrible, but I've recently started to worry when I'm around POC, like im an annoyance. I didn't start to worry like this until a few months ago. I don't know what's happened. I notice myself when I'm on a walk or out in public that I'll start to feel anxiety that I'm racist. Or maybe when I see a POC I automatically assume they think I'm racist? I know I'm white and part of the systemic racism problem & that I'm privileged to be a white man. I consider myself to be a Black Lives Matter/People of Color ally. I just don't know why I'm anxious. I'm pretty sure POC around me can tell as well. I don't know why my anxiety has picked up on this. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Hi, I wanted to make a post because I honestly feel really alone. This is going to be long, but please bear with me and let me know if you relate or have any advice. I’m currently dating quite possibly the best guy I’ve ever met. And by FAR the best guy I’ve ever dated. We have such a strong connection and it’s my first healthy, non toxic relationship. He treats me with so much understanding, respect and kindess. But heres the thing. I have truly terrible ADHD, OCD, Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, Panic Disorder and depression. And more specifically I’ve come to realize- ROCD. I constantly have thoughts about him not wanting me, lying to me, cheating on me, etc. I’ve seen a lot of posts about having ROCD where you doubt wanting to be with the other person- but I know with everything in me I want to be with this man. What I obsess about is him leaving me. I have constant anxiety, espescially since my PTSD kicked in about a year ago. Whenever I’m physically with him, I feel incredible. I literally do not get anxiety, and if I do its considerably less harmful- and hes there to hold me and comfort me. I have trouble eating because of my anxiety, but with him that’s never the case. We’ll have a great time- but the second I leave I begin to doubt how he feels. Whether he’s with another girl. Whether it’s too good to be true. Wondering when hes going to leave. These thoughts cycle and cycle in my head in a manner that is so all-consuming I can hardly focus on anything else. If I text him and I don’t get a text back I immediately assumt the worse. I thought at the beginning it was just because we hadn’t made it official, and when we did these feeljngs would do away. But then he made it official. And they didn’t. And then I thought when it got more serious they would go away. But then he told me he was falling in love with me( I felt the same). If anything, it made it worse. I told myself when he told me he was really in love it would get better. He did. We said I love you, and still. Constant worry. He’s not a great texter or caller, but I expressed to him how much I need communication and how much it bothers me when he doesn’t respond- and he apologized (WITHOUT getting defensive) and said that he would work on it. And he HAS. But still. It’s a cycle. The anxiety waiting for a text, the dopamine rush when I get it, respond, then wait and it starts again until he responds. Then again. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s tearing me apart. We’re open with each other- so everytime I get a thought I bring it up to him for reassurance. I explained to him that I’ve been hurt so badly before. The last time I was in love/my first love- was a narcissist who took my virginity by raping me and i stayed with him for a year and a half after that until it got to be too much physical and emotional abuse and he then fucked my best friend. Told everyone I was pathological when I tried to warn people about him. Every guy I’ve started to care about since then has lead me on or used me, and the less attention they gave me the more I needed it and the more I prioritized them. My dad was a narcissist who gave me love then would dissapear, or come back and I would have to take care of him as he was depressed and suicidal (I was 4) and to this day relies so heavily on me that when I don’t respond to him he says hes going to kill himself. I understand that I have severe abandonment issues, as well as trauma, and that I most definitely have an anxious attachment style. I’ve been trying so hard for the past two years to heal myself, but now its all the more important because I can tell that even though hes patient, it hurts him that I don’t feel secure, that I don’t seem like I trust him. I said that as time goes on and I get to knkw him more it’ll get easier, but I’m terrified that may not be the case. I’m so worried that I’m going to ruin this thing, that it will be a self fulfilling prophecy and that I’m missing out on this honeymoon phase, on being happy because I’m constantly worried about when it will be taken from me. I’m in therapy and we tlak about this a lot and I know it stems from my low self esteem and people-pleasing tendencies, but it doesn’t really seem to be helping all that much. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have advice?

i don’t think i have ocd. i really don’t. yes, i seek reassurance 24/7, ruminate almost all day, check reaction, replay memories over and over, but i don’t have intrusive thoughts like everyone else. also, my hocd started at 11 and is on and off. please someone talk to me.

Whenever I see something related to death it makes me cry and think about my family and then I don’t stop thinking about it, is this ocd

Welp, I was daydreaming had a blasphemous intrusive thought in my head and I ruminated and replayed the thought over and over again and I'm fearing that I may go to hell.

Sharing some observations I've figured out something about my OCD, but note this only applies to me. I have read a lot of stuff on how to best react when i'm struck with catastrophizing and panic. A LOT of sources would say something like "you need to accept your fears, as if they were going to become true and see that they won't". Somehow that made sense, but never felt right to me personally. Because whenever i did that, i spiraled into depression. If someone, say, needs to tap a wall 3 times so their family wont be harmed, they might learn that its fine even if they don't tap the wall. But if someone who is scared to lose control over everything if they don't tap the wall, the downward spiral and the belief of losing everything will actually make them believe so and it's a terrible road from there. It seems to be a known fact that dwelling on intrusive thoughts can lead to depression. It will also increase the anxiety for next time something like this happens, because i learned that believing my irrational thoughts indeed leads to catastrophes. At least it doesn't lead you where it should lead you. Tldr, i (personally) don't think that believing your intrusive thoughts is the best approach for everyone. There are healthier mindsets one can adapt to when one is overwhelmed. After all the end goal is to not care about our fears, not to believe them. Again note this is just my observation, but i think advicing people to believe their intrusive thoughts is a badly worded piece of advice that can be dangerous in the worst case. But then again OCD is horribly tricky and recovery is best guided by a specialist.

Any dating advice when you live with OCD: *I’m a young man in his early twenties, if your curious. Hey, I am finally starting to feel confident enough in myself again to try and date. Since I experienced symptoms and received an official diagnosis, I notice it has become a little more difficult to date; I was diagnosed late last year. While I am truly myself and good at hiding my anxiety to a great extent (OCD), I can’t help but feel it gets in the way of things. Most women I talked to have said I make them feel very comfortable and/or they really like me or we’ll be really attracted to each other, but nothing really progresses beyond the talking stage as of recent (a month or so max of just talking). Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a little anxiety inducing with questions that pop into my head: Am I being too much, too little? Is she feeling me just as much? Did I send something offensive? Another obsession is what if I send a mean or ugly message, so I can be hard sometimes...I know it might be somewhat of me issue, though I am not entirely sure what the problem could be. Any advice on dating when you have OCD? I can share a brief story that made me take a break from dating because after one date, if anyone would like about one young woman who really kicked my OCD into overdrive.

Please help me. Does anyone have real event ocd that makes you feel you cheated? My mind is going back to a few years where I got drunk at a concert with my husband and sent funny texts to a friend that I saw there (a person who I had cheating ocd themes about prior but didn’t know it was ocd). My husband spotted this person at the concert and since I had cut him out of my life completely, I asked my husband if I could reach out to him to say hi (I thought it would help normalize everything and stop my OCD). Little did I know that it would trigger another episode. I was drinking a lot and I thought I was being funny and showed my husband all the texts back and forth as I was writing them, but after when we got in the car he was upset with me for “ignoring” him. We got into a big fight because I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong but after reviewing all the texts it was clear I sent many back and forth. This was years ago and he forgave me but I can’t forgive myself. I feel like I cheated and wonder if I was being flirtatious in the texts. My mind still won’t let it go. My husband is my everything and I wouldnt want to hurt him. He says he’s over it and he was drunk that night too but I know he was upset. We have kids and I just want to move on and live in peace. But i feel like I don’t deserve it. Please help.

anyone here into astrology? i’ve been trying to see if i can find ocd in a natal chart. if u want me to look at urs lmk cuz i’m trying to see something. lol drop ur birthday, time, & location

I’ve given up on all this. I made a post here like a day or two ago about the same thing but it’s worse now. I dealt with some stuff over the last 3 years. Though I feel like I’m lying now typing that and that stuf go dealt with combined with music that helped me influenced me to want to make music that helps other people with my bad if we were to somehow make it. Anyway, I’ve dealt with a lot of thoughts about the band from saying I’d have ghostwriters to accusing me of disliking the band members etc... but this ones by far the worst and I can’t drop it. So the other day, I listened to a song I used to listen to in the first year of that stuff I dealt with and I got butterflies/anxious feeling in my stomach my brain set off saying I missed those days and what followed was a long talk between myself trying to convince my head that I truly didn’t miss those days and just looked fondly on the song. The past few days I’ve been arguing about it constantly over whether or not I miss the last 3 years and the stuff I dealt with and multiple times it’s made me feel like I’m lying and I didn’t actually go through anything. Anyway today’s been the worst day. I woke up at 1AM due to my messed up sleeping schedule from lockdown. I quickly went over why i didn’t miss it and after a few back and forths I tried to ignore and was confidentish I didn’t miss those days. After a bit it began again and I can’t remember how long this continued on with me arguing but I ashamedly and embarrassingly got so mad and frustrated and upset etc that I started tearing up out of frustration, broke my gaming headset out of anger and actually smacked myself a few times because I was so sick and tired of it. I felt like shit for ages and tried watching a video, at this point I said to myself “I don’t care about the band anymore I’m done, it’s over” and then as I watched the video and cared less. I seemed to notice that when I thought about whether or not I missed feeling like shit I could easily say I didn’t. I went into another room randomly and started going on about it all, again stupidly out of frustration and anger smacked myself a few times. I went downstairs later on and being home alone, I wandered around the living for 30-40 minutes going on about why I really did go through stuff over the last 3 years, the fact that a lot of the songs I’ve written are personal, the fact I don’t miss that stuff, the fact that if I really did miss it I wouldn’t be doing everything I could at the minute to change my life around to be happy and more. I felt better and more confident but still like a liar at the same and in a way felt like I had already gone past the point of no return if that makes sense. Like my brain had said too much and and I couldn’t do the band anymore. I got on with my day and later began playing my bass when I played a song from one of those years not meaning for the thoughts again. The anxiety/butterflies started and my brain began sating the same again and not too long after I went up and began watching YouTube, ignoring my brain saying all that stuff but it was building up in the back of my head. I began arguing eventually again and decided to search up the definition of “missing something” which said “to feel sadness or regret over the loss of something” which instantly led me to feel confident again because I said “I know 100% I’m so much happier and stress free in college than I was in high school whereas if I missed it it would be the opposite, I’d feel sad and want it back”. I felt better and went downstairs to grab something only for it to start with “you do feel sadness that times gone” which worried me. Then the last few hours I’ve sat here and it’s the same Stuff going over in my head and again ashamedly I’ve smacked myself a few times out anger and frustration. On top of that, I feel like I’ve gone too far like I said earlier. I feel like my brain has said too much and it’s kind of over band-wise. My brains telling me I went through nothing over the last 3 years despite the fact I know deep down I did. It’s telling me the songs I wrote aren’t personal even though I know a lot of them are, it’s telling me that certain things weren’t problems and I faked them swore overwhelming evidence I did really feel bad. It feels real too but I think my brain might be twisting stuff if that makes sense. Basically, like I said music really helped on those nights and I used to go out for tea with my dad every Wednesday who I only see every fortnight and that was nice because it was an escape because for like an hour I’d forget the thoughts and be out of the house. Every time I think if the last 3 years it makes me think of going out for tea with dad and the music which i obviously look back on in a good light but not the sitting inside night after night and dealing with the thoughts. I keep considering writing the whole 3 years out to prove to myself I did deal with so much but writing out 3 years of events when you dealt with it every day is such a long, drawn out and tedious task so I never do it. Also this will sound dumb but I think my brain “romanticises” it all if that makes sense. Because it’s been a year pretty much since I left high school, it can manipulate facts and what happened a lot easier. Like trying to make out that this is some great story or heroic thing when it was just me feeling shit over presumably OCD and never going out. Shouldn’t I just think though “at the end of the day you know you went through stuff otherwise you wouldn’t be influenced to do what you want to do. If you truly missed it you’d be trying to recreate that setting instead trying to be happy”. The thing that gets me with that though is I ashamedly admit in my final year of high school I kind of self sabotaged. One night I thought “why don’t you ask so and so if you can go out with them, they’ll let you” and I said no and never did. I forgot about that night up until last quarantine where the thought ate me alive and I felt so wrong about it. It was a question of “did I stay in to feel sorry for myself or for the band?” Sorry for this ramble but I really don’t know anymore. I noticed that ever since I made the band my primary passionate and love, I began to have thoughts that upset me about it and they’ve got worse as time went on. For example, due to the foundation of the band for me being on what I went through. For months, my brain would scan through the last 3 years searching for anything to trip me up and upset me over.

I feel like I’m evil for not being vegetarian or vegan. Like I’m scared I don’t care for animals

Hi everybody. It feels like it's been a while. A few weeks maybe. I just wanted to say that for the most part, I've been feeling better about myself. I felt like I was able to really be happy these past days throughout the month and I really feel like with the practice of not doing compulsions and truly being able to forgive myself for the things I ruminate constantly about, it's been an improvement. Like usual unfortunately, OCD likes to shift what it worries about back and forth over and over again. My OCD has always stayed in the topic of sexual themes. Mainly mine have to do with masturbation, arousal, and orgasms. Lately I've been feeling guilty about simply being aroused by things. By things that have always turned me on in my life, which is the beautiful nature of women. Everytime I feel aroused by the physical presence of a woman, I feel guilty. Very guilty. I feel like I should not sexualize anyone and I shouldn't get feelings like that unless I am with a partner or if I'm taking the time to fantazise. For a few weeks I haven't masturbated and it's made me feel very different. In a more positive way than a negative one. I was able to fight against the urge for a pretty long time actually, and I was able to really enjoy myself doing other things! It felt really good to look back on, but unfortunately I had a relapse minutes ago tonight. Suddenly, it felt like, the more I didn't want to masturbate, the more stressed I became day by day. My thoughts aren't that intrusive but something about my feelings made me feel a little worse the more aroused I was. Or how much I thought about wanting to give myself self pleasure. Tonight I had woke up from my second nap that day. I have bad sleeping habits I need to work on. I woke up extremely horny, breathless, and in the mood.. I felt like at this point I couldn't get rid of it so I just did everything I could to make it go away. And I did. There were so many triggers for me, mainly attractive female celebrities that I thought of. Instagram is also a big trigger for me since there are a lot of sexual themes hosted on that site. I came across plenty of them, got more arousal out of them, and then I gave in. At first after finishing, I felt bad but then after a while.. I didn't feel so bad? It really confuses me and I don't know if this is normal or not. I always get anxious when it comes to how I feel sexually and this is something I ruminate over greatly. Does anyone else get feelings of guilt for simply being turned on? For masturbating? Even if it makes you feel so much better afterwards? Especially in a long time, like weeks without it like I went through? Is this normal? Or am I going down a bad path? My usual OCD thoughts still linger in the back of my head, but not as much as this topic does.