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I have been scared of one of my friend what if I like her, this thought has been there from October and I have avoided her so much that my fear has just peaked next level. When I open Instagram my mind goes like oh u are excited to see her stories aren't u but it the most difficult task to do but I try not to compulse. If she hasn't posted I am filled with relief but then my mind say of aren't you disappointed. I don't even know if these are intrusive thoughts anymore, when I want to post something my mind goes like she is gonna see it and then I don't want to post it. Just now I posted a reel on my story even though mind was screaming horrible things and I looked at it after sometime I realised the audio wasn't available so I was like that sucks people must have seen it without any audio and I was like let's delete this not of any use and then my mind was like (I don't clearly remember what my mind said cuz it was sour of the moment) but it was something about her and then the next story slide came and i saw this seen Icon and her picture popped up and like in that 3second moment my anxiety raised so much I could feel the pins the on my back and hot and cold flash and heart rare went blasting the roof and all this time my mind was aren't you embarrassedd i think the anxiety rose because I had the thought and then suddenly her picture popped up. We used to be bestfriends but cuz of my thoughts I started to avoid her and at this point I don't even want her in my life, for dear life of God I can avoid her forever but I know that will only make the thoughts worse like it has now, I have been trying to avoid doing compuslions, i try post on story in form of doing ERP as my thoughts go like and oh she's gonna see it u are putting this for her , so I have been putting on stories while the thoughts keep popping up. But like u know I have started to hate her because she kind of took my close friends away maybe not intentionally but she did and I became anti social because of my ocd and that just makes me not want to talk to her and plus talking to her gives me anxiety. I at this point don't even know if these are intrusive thoughts like who has these type of intrusive thoughts but I just so hope that they are intrusive thoughts cuz I don't want to like her in a romantic way ever. I may have started hating her because of my thoughts too because like u know as having damaged thinking might have led my brain to only know the opposite of like that is hate, but like she scares the shit out of me. I swore that no matter how many stupid thoughts my mind produces for any other friend of mine like this I will not avoid them like I did her because that will only lead me into a shit hole. But these thoughts they give me anxiety like the ones when I open instagram are these intrusive thoughts.And my mind uses this against me what if u aren't afraid of ur other friends and u are of her means somethingut it's not like I don't have intrusive thoughts about my other friends, I have but I keep in mind not to make the same mistake as I dod in her case because back when he thoughts started to pop up I didn't even know there was something known as HOCDAnd she scares the shit out of me

I’m straight but get turned on by lesbian porn and sexual orientation ocd is going off the chart. I used it as a form of compulsion to see if I’d get turned on by it and it has just led me to serious confusion and it’s just uncomfortable

Does medication help a lot ?

It’s been 5 minutes since I’ve been forcing myself to not look up pregnancy symptoms. It’s hard. I don’t understand why I can’t just trust my iud, condoms and myself for being careful.

Can someone please help me! It's been more than a month or so but for some reason I'm extremely triggered by the words "IN DENIAL" "DENYING" "DENY" etc. And since the time that I've been triggered by them...it seems like I'm coming across them more often than ever . I can't help but think that it says something about me . That it is some sort of message or signal from the universe or God that I'm in denial and I should just accept that I'm a lesbian. Does anyone feel like this too?

I'm always afraid and nervous to go to sleep because I'm scared of ocd nightmares. At least in waking hours I can choose what I'm exposed to and can avoid triggers if I please. I can't do that in my sleep. Anybody have ideas to feel less afraid?

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME I’m having a very very tough night. A movie I’m watching has a lot of sexual scenes. And this one I’m watching had a porno movie where a man was slowly removing a woman’s underwear and I got super turned on and for some reason in that moment I thought oh I want to see her vagina and now I’m freaking out that that’s why I was so aroused like I wouldn’t feel that way with a man. I’m so afraid.

Sigh ever feel like yup im straight and u know deep down u are but then all of a sudden you get this doubt of but what if you arent or what if. But then you remember its just thoughts but then more doubt.

success stories welcome, please i’m so hopeless about the future. i’m going to be seeing an ERP therapist soon, I have a hypnotherapist right now, and i’m starting medication today, but i’m so terrified none of it will work. i can’t keep living like this where every day is so impossibly hard. please, any encouragement or success stories very welcome

ive always wanted to become a psychologist or work in the mental health field because im passionate about learning how humans work, psychoanalysis and i have a fair share of savior complex but... ocd hit me in the face. im too weak and vulnerable to have a job of such status im literally mentally ill and hypersensitive. who would want advice and mental help from a messy bitch with mental illness. ive always enjoyed reading about mental conditions and human behaviors, but now it's just triggering because i start thinking "oh what if i develop this severe disorder" or my biggest one "im afraid im a narcissist". this was my only dream and passion i had faith in and now im losing it. im not capable of achieving my only dream because of circumstances.

Can i talk to someone who got rid of hocd or almost got rid of it?

Does anyone know if there are any ocd specialist who work with clients worldwide? I‘m from Germany and I‘ve been in therapy for about a year now. It is does help to some degree however I don’t feel like making significant progress. My therapist also doesn’t use erp and tells me „thoughts are just thoughts“ which doesn’t really help me when I‘m in a bad place. It is hard to find help for this subtype where I live and I‘m honestly sick of living like this and falling back into dark holes everytime I get triggered.

if i imagine a family member dying and feel like the pain would be unimaginable that means i really care about them right??

I must be bi or gay its like i find men more attractive than women. I just want to love women like i once did and have that desire back 😥

Does anyone think OCD makes it hard to be spiritual. I’ve slowly become a Christian over the years. And it really makes sense to me. It aligns with my personality, and beliefs I’ve had before I was even religious. The doubts I have aren’t rational doubts. They’re telling me I’m delusional, immature, and crazy. They’re thoughts targeted at me, basically that I’m being stupid. And since one of my fears is going crazy, I’m worried I’ve gone crazy and come to a spiritual conclusion because I’m insane. It’s frustrating because it makes kind me of unable to further my relationship with God. I also have existential OCD, and I’m afraid that’s why I believe in God. But my OCD makes me feel like if I don’t have all the answers that it’s not ok, but I know I can never have all the answers.

can ocd cause forgetfulness? my short-term memory is declining and i keep forgetting what i thought of a couple of minute or seconds ago

Rant I’m trying to fight my compulsions the best i can its not always pretty but hey. Instead of taking multiple showers i instead took a new like one ounce bottle of hand santizer (since it was new and I remembered seeing it and was like ok so i dont have to look around the house for this) great. I can just use it to basically combat the showering and just place it on the area thats “unclean” or feels that way. Yes i know its still a compulsion but im not washing myself im basically doing a half assesd compulsion which i feel like is better than doing the full thing and will help me come down from it. Anyways im in the middle of doing that and trying to figure out my laundry situation half dressed and then my dad is at the door so i have to throw a towel on and he comes in and takes it away (im guessing because my mom told him) how often did you use this bottle? My answer:Only once. Which i did only use it once on myself and once to clean the bottle itself. After hes like well how many paper towels have you used from this roll my answer: none. And hes like well you still cant use this and takes it away to give me a half used one. I tell him this and hes like well you can’t you that all in a week right? To which i reply thanks and close the door. Im so agitated. Like when i ask for help directly my dad barely does it or it becomes a whole battle (idk if he thinks what im asking is an compulsion or what i consider erp is weird to him) but then hes so sure what i need and what to do after my mom says something its annoying. I know they’re trying to help but I DONT WANT IT. Lot of the time it just makes it worse and prolongs it. Like I seriously am so annoyed. So annoyed. I cant even put it into words. I dont want this half assed half used bottle. I was going to go on Amazon and buy some more because i ran out and found that and was likenoh ok i can save some money but looks like im gonna have to do it anyway. Annoying.

I’m new here and was excited for my first therapist appointment Monday to begin what I’m really hoping is the recovery process from debilitating Contamination OCD that I guess I’ve dealt with for many years but in recent months has destroyed me mentally and to a certain physically since I’m afraid of eating food (how’s it safe when nearly all of it was handled by other people?) or working out since it isn’t easy to do hygienically but they cancelled on me and I’m hoping a new appointment is scheduled soon. I’m losing hope here. I’m even afraid of showing my precious dog affection since this damn virus could transmit from animals and he’s so close to the ground (which besides anything other people touch terrifies me the most) and I’m losing the fight of wanting to continue living because of how much I’m suffering from this. I’m really hoping that if the vaccine is ever distributed it’s going to decrease my symptoms since that’s what I’m most afraid of but until then every minute of every day is pure mental anguish and I don’t want to suffer anymore. A psychiatrist prescribed Effexor and while that’s helped with depression the side effects are really rough and the debilitating OCD is still there so on my next appointment Friday he’s going to probably switch me to an anti anxiety drug called buspirone and I don’t know if that’s going to help any. I need help. 😢

I am a girl and I am struggeling with sexual orientation ocd. It sounds so crazy just writing that. I have a problem with social anxiety in this too, and it plays a huge part for my ocd. I am curently spending some time with friends form Uni, But i have so much social anxiety around my girl friends all the time. I struggle with speaking in front of new and many people. When I come home from being with them, I start questioning things like; did i get nervous because I liked some of them, or one of them? Like it so painful both physcially and mentally. What should I do? I also never had a boyfriend, and I am 19 years old. I dont Get feelings so easily, and that makes my ocd Worse. Help.

any fellow law students with tips on studying distressing content? onto my second year but feeling pretty unprepared and worried