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tw: racist intrusive themes This is particularly long so thank you in advance for reading. I just want to preface this with a few things. Firstly, I am a black girl so my perspective on the matter is personal. Secondly, the person under fire is a non-black person. These two facts are very important. So I was scrolling through instagram when a post from a page I know well appeared on my timeline. This page tends to talk about several pressing social issues and often show cases other people’s tik toks/posts and while providing their opinion about the subject at hand. Typically I agree with a lot of their views but something about this particular post of theirs did not sit right with me. The person they decided to show case on their page today was a non-black girl who was sharing one of her intrusive thoughts. The thought in question was “shout the N word”. I’m assuming the girls intention behind sharing this intrusive thought was to make other people who suffer with similar themes feel seen. However it seems like the overwhelming majority, including the page, agreed that this particular intrusive thought was inappropriate to share because of its racist nature and that the girl should’ve “ kept it to herself” ( a phrase ive seen used many times through out the comment section). Some going as far as to say that this was not an intrusive thought but rather a justification for racist ideation. Essentially accusing her of “normalizing” the racist nature of her theme. I believe these statements are really damaging and cruel. People were confirming her inner most insecurities. They literally validated her intrusive thoughts by saying that they do indeed prove that she is racist. I couldn’t help but feel sad. What made it worse is that others were saying things along the lines of “my intrusive thought is * insert violent act here*....not racism” As if violent thoughts about hurting others are somehow more acceptable to share than thoughts about shouting offensive things. Intrusive thoughts are any thoughts that you have that you do not want or can’t control. Most intrusive thoughts are awful, that’s what makes it intrusive. I just couldn’t see why this particular awful thing was somehow more damning than the others. I just wanted to see what people think about this. Am I being tone deaf in this situation? I can’t tell if I’m missing something here.

Today was a horrible day... I got falsely accused of racism by a random stranger the first thing in the morning. I got yelled at by people on the discord community for it. I didn’t win the draw for the shoes I wanted to make money for. The girl I like hasn’t been responding to my DM’s, and my HOCD and POCD feel so real and it makes me feel like I’m in denial constantly with the intrusive thoughts... it feels so tempting to just give up and die...

At this point, I'm fairly confident in my ability to overcome most of my triggers but the loss of attraction has done permanent damage that I seriously doubt can be fixed at this point. And its its currently the biggest source of my ruminating.

I did my erp today and I felt pretty good about it! Afterwords I was scrolling through social media and a video of a male working out pops up, I don’t feel attracted to their bodies or I’m not like in awe of it. This caused me major anxiety and thoughts of how I think women’s bodies are better than men’s and part of me even agrees that they are more aesthetically pleasing so this is where it’s really attacking me.. then it throws in how I’m more physically and sexually attracted to woman, etc etc. It just tries to come at me with thoughts to get me down again, making me believe I’m actually a lesbian like others who realized they were and harder to believe it’s ocd :/ At least I can work on this fear too and keep trying with erp and stopping my mental compulsions

Tw: Anyone out there go through Suicidal ocd ERP? Mind mentioning some of your erp that you did with an ocd therapist ?! Anyone out there who has suicidal ocd have tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts ?

Can I ask for prayer? I had a real event OCD and I am not getting completely over it.....I don't know if I am being a perfectionist or what......what I did is hard to explain....with all of what's going on I am on the suicidal side. I feel like I need to talk to a therapist soon....even my old one that is not completely trained in OCD(but not sure if it's a good idea).....I have an appointment the 15th of April...it is hard to wait that long....I am so confused on what I did...what it means....how bad it is, etc....I don't want to trigger others but I am sure some would think what I did was shameful but one person said it wasn't really bad at all.....I have talked about it so much...I can't stand that it happened--I need Gods help.....I am scared God is mad at me.....I have had a ridiculous time w/OCD this last year----

Hello. I’m new to this app, and I just wanted to put my story out there so maybe someone can relate. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 8. It always has changed throughout the years, but most recently it is kind of revolving around praying. I have never been super religious, but about 7 years ago I started a prayer that I started saying daily and if I messed up or said something wrong or “didn’t feel right” then I would have to start over. I feel like now, if I don’t do it, then something bad will happen and I just don’t feel right. I feel like since it’s been a daily ritual for almost a decade, I can’t not do it without getting anxious. I have lots of other obsessions and compulsions but this one is causing me the most distress. Can anyone else relate?

Anyone with existential OCD suddenly get derealization/dissociation when they’re thoughts start racing and their brain keeps telling them nothing is real and it gets so bad that they’re afraid they’re starting to believe it? When the episodes hit I can’t find anything that keeps me grounded and all I can think is what if nothing around me is real? And then I freak out.

My thoughts keep telling me “I’m unhappy in my relationship” and it’s so hard because I am unhappy in general but only since the OCD flare up so how do I know if I’m unhappy in the relationship or if I’m unhappy because my OCD is making me depressed??? Then me n my partner had an argument which has triggered my intrusive thoughts even more making me think they’re true

You guys got this! You are not your thoughts! Something helpful I got from “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” was that when an intrusive thought pops into your head, label it. Say “this is an intrusive thought.” It helps to separate you from the thoughts. Good luck guys! I can post more tips from the book below if you’re interested

Any Christians dealing with ocd here ? I need a word of God to help me tonight . .

Anyone else feel like they 100% wasted their teen years by not doing what they wish they did at the time? That's what I'm feeling. Feeling like it was all wasted by the internet, porn, low self esteem and not going to parties and hitting people up. Sounds a bit stereotypical, but still. Just flat out gone. I get I'm only 19, but I just worry about everything now. Worry about what I didn't do, the mistakes I did do. Someone on the NOCD app said this: "It is really not about the life event that is the problem. It is also not the thoughts or feelings about the life event that is the problem. The problem is your reaction to the thoughts and feelings about the life event.” Been trying to figure out what this means for the day

I’m ready to be free of ocd prison

Hi is anyone available to talk. I am in a really bad place right now.

Hello all, I suffer from different types of OCD. My main fear is that something bad happens to my kids. For about a year I have been supper scared of toxic stuff. I have changed everything in the house to non toxic stuff. Just a week ago I realized that I live next to an Apple orchard and berry farm and that my kids have lived here for ten years. I had never considered that to be a problem or a way that my kids were being harmed by the pesticides. Now, I feel like I’ve caused irreparable damage and I feel so guilty. I feel like because I did not take care of that sooner now my kids will get cancer and die or something. My daughter was raised in this house since she was born. I can’t even look at them without crying. I’m going crazy! I need help.... I don’t know how to deal with this.

i’m new to this app and i’m not sure on what i’m doing but i know that i’ve been struggling for a while. after researching, which i know is not what i’m supposed to do, i’m unsure as to if im stuck in real event ocd surrounding some childhood memories, it’s causing intense guilt telling me i am a bad person, anxiety and it’s disrupting sleeping, i have less of an appetite, it will take over my mind for hours sometimes, it came on suddenly and hasn’t lessened since. i have been referred through my doctors to a therapist but i’m not sure on how to talk/open up about it without 1) being judged 2) it not being ocd and me actually being this terrible person and 3) i just don’t know how to get the help but i know i need it. i’m asking for some advice on how to be open about it enough without it being a compulsion but enables me to get some help..

Around a month ago I gave up my porn compulsion. But one thing that still kind of confuses me is that for me, the compulsion didn’t feel “complete” unless I would look at porn I am aroused by. I think I did this to “prove” to myself what arousal was or something like that. So I would look at the porn that I’m scared I was gonna be turned on by, then I would look at porn I do like. But sometimes when I looked at porn that I do like, I wouldn’t be aroused AT ALL. Which confused me. So can ocd screw up your normal arousal? And make you feel as if you aren’t aroused to things you know you are aroused by?

I don't know if I am doing my recovery work right. I have real event OCD and always fear that I may have already done sth that could upset my bf so much that he would leave me. My main compulsion is confessing these things to my bf. If I don't do that, I feel extremely guilty most of the time. It feels like I don't deserve to live a happy life with him because I am practically lying to him by not confessing. I was in therapy, but my therapist only did cbd and it was nice to talk to someone but I don't really know what to do now that it's over. So I always browse on Instagram sites or this app to find something that helps. First of all, I don't really know how to do erp with a real event. Someone suggested imaginery writing (sth like that), but I don' t think I am doing that alright. So my "recovery work" consists of not confessing my current obsession to my bf and enduring the feelings of guilt while I try to live my life. But I don't know how or if I should label them as "OCD Feelings", because everytime I do, my head goes "you don't know that, you are just trying to get away with sth bad you did, you just pretend to have ocd...", So I just endured it without saying "those are my intrusive thoughts". So here is what I did different lately: Maybe it doesn't sound like a big difference, but lately I have been labeling them as ocd feelings and I have been "putting them automatically in the ocd box" and I started to feel better. My mind is still screaming that it isn't true, I don't know it for sure etc. But I feel better labeling them as OCD than I did when I just endured the feelings without labeling them. Because the problem with just enduring is that it really sucks. Everytime something romantic or nice happens in my relationship, the guilt ist excruciating. I can't enjoy my time with my bf anymore because the nicer it is with him, my guilt gets worse. I feel like I've lost him. But as I labeled them, I felt better, I can almost imagine that these feelings might go away in time. I was really depressed before because nothing really changed... So what I wanted to ask is, do y'all think this is reassurance if I say that my feelings are ocd feelings?

My definition of recovery is not having these thoughts because I never had them before. The intrusive thoughts I’ve had before ocd where not towards harming my family. So if this is how it’s going to be with harm thoughts every day then I guess I’m not gonna be recovered.

I think a huge lightbulb moment for me in recovery was learning that I am not my thoughts and I am not my feelings. When I first learned this idea I could not for the life of me wrap my head around it, if I’m not those things, then what am I? For so long I was in the thick of what was going on in my mind and in my emotions that I did not see myself outside of them. Through recovery and especially meditation I was able to realize that thoughts and feelings are just filters. We all experience them and go through them in varying ways, what we are is whatever we choose to be. I can’t help that I experience feelings and thoughts that feel uncomfortable and make me unhappy, but I do choose how much attention I give them and whether I am going to feed that thought until it grows and grows. We so often try to control what we think and feel when what we really only have control over is how we engage with these thoughts and feelings. When we realize this the sense of power you have over self is amazing.