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the NOCD Community

Idk what am I going to do ify therapist tells me it's not OCD or if she doesn't recognize Pure O (as it's rarely talked about in Ukraine) bc I don't have that much money. Idk how I'm going to continue living

Has anyone tried tricyclics like anafranil, clomipranine for OCD? I am switching form Lexapro because it didn’t work and want to know what peoples experiences were.

been thinking that i won't be able spending time with my boyfriend or like being intimate with him til i full on confess about the themes of my ocd and get reassurance that he still loved and accepts me even after knowing that but also i dont want to atm esp what sent me to spiral was pocd about his younger nephew i think of this bc i've always had this like urge or thought that i can't enjoy good events or moments until i've settled the things that make me anxious or the "problems"

Hello!!! Is anyone taking wellburtin?? Looking for feed back

I'm just going to say it at this point. If I don't then honestly, who the hell will? Porn is a drug, just like the rest that are out in the world. Say not to it. Take care of yourselves. Those that are trying to quit, you can. Keep following your path. I'm 13 days clean from all PMO. Porn is used to escape from reality, to get hooked, to distract, which results in negative changes in the brain and most notably viewers find themselves escalating to higher and higher and higher and higher forms of videos. You could be watching vanilla the very first day and feel like you won the lottery (Just like I did when I was 11, first discovering it). Next thing you know, you're desensitizing yourself to things you didn't even know could coexist with life itself. And as you escalate, it gets worse. Strugglers, know that you can quit. It's never too late to heal. It doesn't last forever, but it will take quite a long time to recover from this mentally. I'm going through withdrawal, which is giving me intrusive thoughts of the taboo videos I've seen, how it's tying into my themes, and how it's trying to say things about me. The porn you've seen or watched says NOTHING about you and definitely NOTHING about your sexuality. For too long tons and tons of people who claim they are straight have escalated to transgender porn such as myself. Even LGBTQ people have escalated to straight porn, the complete opposite. Parents, please please please have the talk with your kids. It does nothing to hide this stuff, because one way or another they are going to find out. Save the trouble, and talk to them about sexual development, for it's such an important part of growing in life. OCD victims, do not use porn to check, escape, avoid, reassure, or convince yourself of ANYTHING. Do not use this material at all. People all over forums worry about the porn they've watched, the porn they've accidentally come across, the porn they think they've seen but are false memories, the porn that they never knew they could escalate too. So many factors could play into just watching this content. OCD and pornography is just about the worst combination you can have as a sufferer, and unfortunately, for 8 years, I've been apart of this content without knowing how bad it could get, or if I was even addicted. Don't keep this to yourself. You're not a bad person for struggling with pornography. You're human, and you've come in contact with something that unfortunately society is normalizing heavily. Putting your foot down and stopping yourself from being controlled by this content is the first step in your healing process. Just like OCD, this can take time. Be patient. Be safe. Be compassionate. Be loving. Be yourself. I'm currently trying to get therapy with the help of a mentor and I hope I can share all of this along with what I struggle with when it comes to thoughts of events in the past. I really do wish everyone the best. I hope this helps.

need help or tips? i've been spiraling because i have confession compulsion and i have this fear that once my boyfriend finds out the themes of my OCD, he'll leave me. he loves me and tells me he'll always be by my side but before i kind of confessed that my mind kind of has his followers memorized because of compulsions i've performed before and he admitted that it slightly turned him off because "damn that's something else" but it wasn't a dealbreaker... can't help but think if he thinks that's something else then he is definitely gonna be turned off after he finds out about my POCD especially now it kind of involved his younger nephew or about Harm OCD or Pure O Really need help to overcome this. I have this urge to confess to him and try to make him understand to get that reassurance from him that even after knowing these he won't leave me but I also don't want to bc not a lot of people will understand or be comfortable about it esp we've only been together for a few months

This just must not be normal for someone with OCD. I have harmful thoughts and urges towards others, but I hate how lately it’s been like I can’t measure these thoughts as irrational or completely horrible, so I can be able to say that I would never do them. I hate it I feel like I’m denial, and this doesn’t feel like OCD anymore. I feel like a bad person already. I’m even thinking, why are you writing this when you already like your thoughts, and you’re already a bad person. Is it that I already like my thoughts? How do I know I don’t want my thoughts? How do I know I’m not a bad person? What if I already am and I just haven’t accepted it?

How do i suck it up? When ocd triggers an anger/panic attack, i often feel so out of control that i either contact others (which will just land me a rejection), shovel food down my belly or break things. Because i can't do my compulsion. What's a better alternative to this? Anything really, to get this to pass quicker.

One really painful and annoying thought that my brain tries to use as “proof” is my old best friend. In middle school I really struggled to make friends until I met my old best friend and after that we started hanging out all the time just us two because we both didn’t really have anyone we were super close to. This carried through all the way up into halfway through high school where we finally split. She went through a breakup and started ditching me for bad habits, meanwhile I was getting into a healthy relationship with my now boyfriend. Looking back, I was very possessive of her because I didn’t want to be alone and making new friends is very difficult for me because I always get scared of rejection and since we had already been friends for years it was easier to hang out with her but after meeting my boyfriend and expanding my social bubble I realized it was better if we weren’t friends with all the dumb stuff she was doing. I was a little torn up (more angry than nothing) but after a few months I got over it. However, when my soocd started in December I read an article about lesbians who realized they had feelings for their close female friends and so I spiraled and my thoughts latched onto her since she was the longest and closest friendship I’ve had. What makes it worse is that one time as a stupid freshman we kissed as a dare but it was only a peck and I felt nothing compared to the guys I’ve kissed, I was way more interested in the reaction of the crowd as opposed to her. I regret it so so so much, I was just being a shallow stupid teen. I wish I could go back and slap myself if I knew it would torture me this much. I had no interest in getting to know her beyond our shared interests and the thought of being with her intimately just doesn’t appeal to me but since the thoughts won’t go away it feels like a lie. Before my soocd, I never questioned our friendship. I hate this so much 😭

For the past 3 to 4 days I have been seeing the number "444" everywhere and i have thus fear of "signs" from the universe and things like that so everytime i see the number it scares me, i know it means something good but still, i just don't want the whole "signs" thing to be real in the first place. Someone please help.

Can ocd cause intrusive urges?? Like it can be sexual/violent????? Moreso anything I believe..

How do I deal with the fact that my boyfriend might or might not accept me if he were to find out the fucked up thoughts I get related to OCD (that sometimes relate to him or people in our lives) I doubt normal people would understand that it's a product of OCD (some do) but not all. I keep obsessing the fact that if he knew, he would leave me so my compulsion becomes me wanting to confess to him to get that reassurance he won't leave me if he were to understand. But I know some things might put a strain in my relationship with him and his family and I just wanna be able to disassociate with these thoughts bc my OCD brain just makes them up on my head and make me question my identity but I also want him to accept me no matter what so I'm anxious about it

I just saw Colton Underwood from the Bachelor’s coming out story and I am now in a complete downward spiral about him not knowing, trying to figure out who he is and hating himself and maybe that’s me. Anyone else??

Advice for how to know a thought is OCD or not? This is going to sound super stupid but I just closed my blinds & I had the thought, "Oh what if there's a dead body outside, you should look down at the ground before shutting the blinds & make sure there isn't" because my apartment looks out to a wooded area that's honestly a little creepy 😅. & I figured that's sort of a silly thought. But now I'm worried becuz even though it's not plausible for anything wrong to be outside I still feel weird. Like every time I do or look at something just wanting to "double check" that I'm not missing something important. Does this happen to anyone else or is this not OCD at all? I overthink & second guess every single thing in my life. I just never trust myself, even with small things, it's very frustrating. Every decision is an argument in my brain. Now I'm stressing over whether to look out my window only after seeing the ground & then shut the blinds. But I also don't want to in case it's my OCD & a compulsion. Sorry if this sounds dumb.

Has anyone has a bad experience with a therapist/psychiatrist? How did you recover from it?

Hi, there! I’m going through an IOP program for my sexual orientation OCD, and I feel like I’m failing miserably. My anxiety and sexual arousal are almost indistinguishable, right now. When I first started obsessing over my sexuality I checked, and checked, and checked to see how I felt when looking at the women I’ve always followed on my Instagram. Now I’m at the point where I feel some kind of arousal response to any woman I look at. It’s almost immediate, and it absolutely terrifies me. It makes me feel very sick because I’ve never felt that way about women. I go a million rounds in my head trying to deduce if it’s real arousal or stress or whatever. Then my brain ruminates over whether or not I actually hate these feelings or if I secretly enjoy them. It makes my heart hurt to think I have to break up with my boyfriend because I’m a fraud. He’s the kind of guy I dreamed about being with most of my life. And I haven’t spent time with my female friends in so long. I’ve never felt more not like myself. I feel deeply alone and afraid that the IOP will do nothing for me in the end. Am I alone?

Today is a terrible day , I can’t get out of bed I’m a failure and exhausted and I don’t know if I’m capable of getting better anymore .

Feeling suicidal bc of how I look. I’ve heard so many things people try to say to make me feel better but it sounds stupid to me. I look the way I look. That’s it. And there are people with fit bodies and beautiful faces that I’ll never look like. And it may sound ridiculous, but I don’t even want to exist anymore. No one I’ve been trying to tell is taking me serious. I’m just trying to figure out a way to kill myself bc it’s been really hard trying to figure out a plan that will 100% go through.

Right now I feel like I am going to act on my thoughts, or like I’m capable of acting on them, or like if I liked my thoughts. But I don’t want to! Then why does it feel like I did or like I wanted them?? It’s really f*cked up bc it is confusing me and my intentions. And now I can’t no longer know the answer to that!! It’s really frustrating and distressing, sometimes I can be sure about the answer but sometimes I just can not and it’s the worst. I legit feel like I’m going to act on them, why do I feel like that?!! I feel like I’m turning into a psychopath!!😫

freaking out a bit. i just read about how narcissists really really idealise partners and then a few weeks in they see that person’s flaws and get turned off. and i literally do that. i don’t know why but i just get easily turned off guys because i fall for the idea of them. also, i’ve realised i don’t feel that close with my friends and maybe i don’t even love them. i know i love my family, so i don’t think i’m a narcissist. but why don’t i love my friends?? and i read narcissists always blame the other person (‘oh i just haven’t found my people yet!’ ‘oh, he’s just not the one for me’) and i guess i do that too. i try to be hopeful that the right people will come along. these two things have been making me so anxious though. it feels like proper proof that i can’t ignore!!!!