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working to conquer OCD
I just been given Sertraline to try and the medication leaflet is terrifying! š± itās enormous and has some pretty scary side affects and now Iām really worried about starting it š¬ what have other peopleās experience with it been? Positives or negatives please
I just read this post about Colin Underwood the ex Bachelor star & ex NFL player coming out as gay, and in the article it said āhe lived with this uncertainty about his sexuality for a while before coming to terms with his sexuality.ā Lol this rly triggered me, as the whole point in our recovery is living with uncertainty. I donāt want to live w uncertainty to one day find out Iām truly lesbian and have been lying to everyone & myself :/ :( I guess he probably did not have OCD, and in the article it said he knew āsomething was differentā by the age of 6. I guess Iām just overthinking but š it sent my anxiety through the roof
I guess I am curious how others have moved past the guilt that intrusive thoughts may have caused them? I am getting to the point where my most distressing thought is not eliciting a visceral and anxious response. This has decreased the prevalence of the thought. However, I find myself beating myself up for ever even having the thought. When I do this, obviously the thought returns more frequently. I also suffer from anhedonia, so I donāt know if this is my minds way of torturing me I.e. I canāt feel anything positive so why not make it so I feel the worst way possible so I at least feel something. I appreciate any insight you can provide.
Not looking for reassurance but tips on how to get over this thought or get past this? Got triggered awhile ago while masturbating to my boyfriend's nudes/videos, when suddenly his younger nephew (a minor) popped in my head and made me spiral and led me to think I like his younger nephew like that which I know is NOT true at all but OCD is making me think what if I really do? It's disgusting because I'm not a pedo nor am I attracted to younger boys. I can acknowledge if a person is attractive or had potential young or not but it doesn't mean I want to date every one of them. It's like saying a family member or a baby is cute. But it's making me feel weird that he popped in my head. Sometimes when I masturbate and I'm really about to reach an orgasm or just feeling it, random inappropriate thoughts pop in my head like situations or people even if I don't want them to but it's lile my brain makes me think of them. I really don't want to tell anyone especially when there's a risk people won't understand but I also kind of have a confession compulsion because I'm scared that having these thoughts will make my boyfriend not want me anymore even if I don't mean to have them or they aren't true. Also I don't have to find it weird or awkward every time I talk to his nephew now. I'm fond of the kid in the way I'm fond of my younger cousins his age, like I'm like an older sister to them and I vibe with them. But having this obsessive thought/fear makes me feel like I'm hiding something big from my boyfriend and I should be transparent with him at all times but I also don't wanna have to tell him or anyone this because it'll scare them off. I had similar obsessions and ocd related thoughts to pedophilia and incest and have gotten over them. It crosses my mind from time to time but it didn't have the same anxiety effect as before. Is this something I can get over without breaking down and admitting everything to my boyfriend or breaking up with him for?
iāve been feeling so anxious lately. i think my rocd is back but this time itās worse because since my boyfriend cheated, itās given my ocd an excuse to be like āsee heās a horrible boyfriend u need to leave himā and itās just been eating me up alive. i donāt want to leave him, i know i made the right decision by staying. i canāt imagine my life without him and i never want to share this love with anyone else. but my ocd keeps telling me i canāt let things go back to normal bc he cheated. me and him are also moving in together in a couple months so, everytime i get excited about that and try to picture our lives together, itās like my ocd literally puts a mind block on me and i canāt enjoy even day dreaming about him like i used to. i was fine like a week ago, but the absence of feelings towards him is scaring me so badly. this isnāt the first time itās happened, this is pretty standard for me. the only thing thatās different is that he cheated and again, my ocd is having a wonderful time using that as a reason for me not to love him. bc ive had rocd for so long, my physical anxiety is so low and so im always falling for the back door spike. i keep thinking me not being anxious is a sign that i donāt love him. so i keep trying to make my self anxious. i canāt even let my self cry bc iām scared itās gonna lead me to want to break up with him. everytime he sends me a sweet text, the only thing i feel is anxious bc my ocd keeps wanting me to āfeel loveā towards him but all i feel is anxious. iām so so miserable and i keep checking to see if this is even ocd. i think it is because itās so distressing to me but iām also doing compulsions like checking my feelings, replaying all the time in my head where i did feel love towards him to reassure my self, avoiding crying bc im afraid itās gonna make me want to leave him, trying to induce anxiety so i know this is egodystonic, repeating to my self over and over that if others can get over their partner cheating then i can too, trying to calm my self down by reminding my self that iāve done some stupid stuff too, trying to feel love towards him when weāre on the phone, etc. and even though i can list all of these compulsions, my ocd still thinks itās not enough and thatās itās not ocd. i donāt know what to do iām literally so miserable i feel so anxious all the time. and usually, for some reason iāll reassure my self in the evening and iāll be good for the rest of the night but today that didnāt happen and now iām freaking out about that too. i donāt want to leave my boyfriend i love him so damn much (typing this out rn, my ocd is telling me iām lying) and i want to heal past this thing that happened between us bc others have so why canāt i? but my ocd is making this so hard. iām hoping itās just because my period is about to come and my ocd usually spikes really bad when that happens because like i said, i was completely and utterly fine a couple days ago. iām so so scared
I feel I've become numb to everything. My anxiety fluctuates but the thoughts, the ERP, the loss of attraction. I feel very numb. Why do I have to go through this fucking shit? I just wanna get back to chasing women and chilling out. I do neither because of this bullshit. That's what it all is. Its bullshit. Fuck OCD, Pure O, HOCD, ROCD, SO-OCD!!! Fuck this bullshit!!!
Has anyone taken Zoloft and had it not work or make things worse? I also suffer from anxiety and depression before getting diagnosed with OCD. I am currently on 50mg and feel terrible almost 30 days on it with no good change but it feels like it's making everything worse?! Going to switch I can't do it anymore and the nonstop sweating!
If i sit a certain way-Am I gay If I stand a certain way-Am I gay If I lay a certain way-Am I gay If I dress a certain way-Am I gay Note: In not asking for reassurance nor am I asking if im gay. Just stating the things I go through every day.
Iām in scary spot right now I made an appointment for a physciatriat because my therapist said itd be best Idk what to do anymore I donāt wanna go to work anymore no reassurance is working anymore I feel hopeless like thereās no way out I know Iām not what pocd says and what hocd says but I just feel trapped and like stuck in this muddy hole I feel like the only way out is death and that scares me so bad I keep imagining someone finding me dead and that scared me even more Iām afraid of all that suicide stuff I just wanna know if anyone out there can relate Iām so depressed and feel hopeless
is anyone in the same position as me?? Iāve 100% felt sexual attraction to both men and women but thereās just a part of me thatās so convinced Iām gay even though Iāve felt attracted to men so many times. I always hear people talk about being exclusively straight or gay with HOCD, but does anyone else exist on the bi spectrum who also has HOCD?
What is yāallās relationship with alcohol and ocd? Iām finding it difficult because Iām at university so I love to drink socially but I always feel so anxious the next day. Any tips?
Hello. I just wanted to know of this can happend. Days before I had an intrusive scene in my mind, but I didn't have anxiety in the moment, and the scene was too detail and I even put it sound, and I had a very strong grional reacton. After that I feel bad for thinking the image, but I tell myself that it was the ocd, but I'm afraid that this is not ocd anymore and that I'm starting to like this. Everytime I review the scene I got a grional reacton, like I am turn on. I don't want to think that my ocd is helping me develop the p3d0 disorder. And I don't know why I let the scene happend, and why I give it too much detail if I didn't have anxiety. I want to move on and forget this, but I'm afraid that I actually take pleasure on this. I want to tell myself that the image was too sexual, and because of that I had a really strong grional reaction, and I put it sound because I was thinking about putting sound, and I allowed it to happend. This scene involve a family member, and I'm afraid that I'm the type of p3d0 that likes incest. This just happend one time, but I'm really afraid. Yesterday I convince myself for a long period of time that I was a p3d0, I even imagine me seeking help for that, but then I read in Wikipedia about the p3d0 disorder, and I freak out. I feel like I neve going to be cure of this, and then I thinked better, and realize that it would it mean that I imagined the images and scenes on purpose and I don't want to think that. Now I'm thinking that I'm coming back into thinking that I have ocd just to not make myself responsible for the images that I imagined. I really want to get better and never think of this images again, but this is making me believe that I am what I fear. I don't want to think of possibility that I like this scene. I don't know if some of you had ever experience this. I would like to know If is possible to thinking this without anxiety.
Just had an erp therapy session. I didnāt feel very triggered at all to the exposures, granted they were low exposures for me anyway (havenāt got to high ones yet), however now Iām panicking a bit about why Iām not being really triggered. Is it because Iām getting better and little triggers donāt bother me anymore? Iām worried my therapist doesnāt think I have ocd :((
Is anyone available to talk who got pocd because of their past like childhood experimentation
I hate this, I hate to feel like Iām turning evil. Like when Iām with my family I feel like I could go and hurt them, I donāt want to but I feel like I did. Or like itās gonna take over me. I feel like I could go and do it, or sometimes I question myself: are u gonna do it or not? I feel like Iām really turning into a serial killer. I feel like this monster inside my mind is trying to make me act on my thoughts. I hate this I canāt handle it. I feel like in any second this will completely change me and make me m*rder someone and will take over me. It seems like it doesnāt matter if I donāt want to, I feel like it could still happen any second, I feel like I have a monster inside me, thatās convincing me to act on my thoughts and thatās taking over me. I feel so overwhelmed, because I feel like I donāt want it to happen but itās gonna happen anyway. This monster inside me wants it to happen and could make it happen no matter if I donāt want to. Canāt even tell if this is harm OCD anymore, doesnāt feel like it.
Anyone on here pregnant and do ERP?
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OCD doesn't have to
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