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the NOCD Community

Anyone else listen to the ocd stories podcast? It has been super helpful...the interviews with mark freeman and Jon Hershfield are inspirational and give a lot of hope but I was listening to the one with Aaron Harvey on intrusive thoughts and I found it incredibly triggering and brought me to tears at how incredibly graphic it was. I’m doing everything I can to not seek reassurance cause I know it’s a compulsion but I stopped listening after 20 minutes of out fear that he’s just going to say he still has the thoughts and no treatment has taken them away.

Do you think that is ok for ROCD to think that your bf enrages you? Sometimes I just don’t feel any emotions toward him, just don’t care I’m afraid of these thoughts

I babysat a kid that’s not mine today. He mentioned private parts, more than once. He needed to change into PJs, he’s like are you gonna watch me? Nope, you can do it on your own and I will step out of the room. He changed and then mentioned he wasn’t wearing underwear under his pants because he doesn’t like it. He’s six. I got through this with lots of intrusive thoughts, but I got through it. (This has been a share)

what’s wrong with being gay? why are people afraid of being attracted to the same sex. i’m sorry i just don’t understand the meaning of HOCD.

Has anyone experienced sexual side effects while on sertraline? My doctor prescribed me 50mg but I’m scared to death of the sexual side effects, which I hear are common. I’m already anxious and depressed enough, I don’t want impotence to add to it!

I’m one of the few people who gets anxious and worried about being anxious and worried. And then I obsess about it and have intrusive thoughts about being aware of being anxious and jittery and that I’ll never get better. Which of course makes me more anxious and jittery. ???

I've had multiple themes including HOCD, POCD, etc. But the worst and most debilitating one for me has been Real Event OCD..the immense guilt, and the extra doubt that comes with it, especially because with this theme it's based on something that actually ocurred..

When did it start for you? What age?

I’m confused. I don’t know how this is supposed to work. Can anyone relate to this??? I don’t have anyone who understands just what my ocd is. I barely understand it. No matter what I do and where, my thoughts hit me. I can be blinking the wrong way and I have to blink until it feels right.. same for swallowing, touching things, light switches and setting down cups. I have to sit and stand up multiple times until it feels right. Step on certain things like cracks in sidewalk as many times I feel is needed. Wash my hands multiple times. Even when texting, I can type out a whole paragraph and my mind tells me to delete it all and start again because it’s not right. When something isn’t right my mind tells me that someone I love is going to die or get hurt. And for some reason I obsess over certain days, like a day someone I love it born. I will sit there and flip a light switch with that date in my mind and a bad thought that something will happen and I can’t stop until I feel that person in my head is safe and everything is fine. In a way I feel that I am saving them and myself from something bad. Can anyone relate? And maybe share how you’re dealing with it all? Please and thank you.

What if you’re not sure if it’s OCD or something else? Should I still see an OCD specialist anyway or a regular psychologist?

My anxiety/OCD is getting worse every single day. Noises trigger it and the noises never end in my house. I can’t remember the last day I wasn’t crying from being so overwhelmed

Anyone on birth control here? Have you noticed a correlation with your OCD and birth control? I’ve had OCD my whole life but I’ve been able to manage it quite well. I switched birth control pills in August. I noticed that my relationship OCD increased. I recently changed pills last week in hopes my OCD will decrease.. seems like it’s doing the job so far. It was bad earlier this week but probably because my body was adjusting to the hormones. Anyone else have experiences like this?

Possible TW? Also TMI Sorry, this is really a TMI, but I have been so incredibly anxious ever since last night because I remembered that last year (I was 19 at the time) I watched porn that had a 17 year old guy in it. It was from the UK, so I guess it's legal over there, but I'm freaking out about it. I'm scared because I'm worried that if I watched it now, when I'm 20, I would still be attracted to the guy? I know 3 years isn't much of an age difference but I'm scared that because of the fact that I might/probably would get turned on by it means I'm a pedophile. I also worry a lot that I will never stop being attracted to teenagers? Again, I know I'm only 20, but the thought terrifies me.

Can somebody PLEASE reply on my last post Pls im begging

I just wanna say, that I've had some Pretty good days! And Its helping me so much too Keep myself busy and to have something to do, Its settles my mind and also held me when Im alone! There is hope out there ☀️☀️

I can’t touch anything my parents touch. (If any part of them touches it) . That includes people. I’m so isolated from my family I hate it. I was forced to move out because the family dog accidentally got in my room. It’s been almost a year and all my stuff is still in my old room because everything the dog touched is “dirty” now. I feel my workplace is “dirty” now after I tried to do an exposure and go to work “dirty” but it backfired and I have too much anxiety when I’m there and I have to come home and wash everything I touched that I need to bring with me to work. But it’s really difficult because I have two jobs and I have to go from the “dirty” job to the clean one and it’s all too much. I want to quit the “dirty” one but i don’t know how and I don’t want ocd to win.

I feel like I'm being spiritually attacked I just want to have control of my thoughts without feeling like I'm an evil being. I love God and Jesus and I feel like I'm the only one who maybe needs to be put in a mental hospital.

Just want to ask if you will still feel normal after recovery of existential ocd? Im just anxious that I will never be normal again. I am thinking if I sucessfully recovered thid OCD will everything get back to normal as before? I really appreciate your answer. Thank you.

Are false memories common? Any way of differianting what it real and what is just your stupid mind creating problems

Tips for beating sexual harm ocd or POCD: - radically accept all your thoughts, whether they create anxiety or trigger arousal. Practice this like you’ve never practised anything before. - if you have stopped masturbating or don’t when ‘those pics’ come, continue to cum? don’t forcefully redirect anything. Just accept your natural fantasy gets these odd and unnatural fantastical intrusions. If you FORCE the preferred response you will create more anxiety. - engage in sex and if this causes triggers or arousal difficulties (when I’m in an episode I sometimes need 10-15 minutes before I’m hard), communicate this with your partner. Accept and MARINADE in the disturbing yet pleasurable yet terrifying soup of fantasy and nightmare. What you are DOING will communicate to your brain that you have your preferences, and that your fears can be devalued. - also take time to look at your sexual self schema. I always liked to say I loved sex and was usually pretty confident. That’s kinda true, but also was built on shaky ground. I used to feel confident yet it would only take one bad aspect to then make me aversive that aspect. So for example I experienced premature ejaculation with a girl I loved, despite several years of sexual experience and confidence. The bad experience decimated all the good experience. I also have some side effects of sexual trauma that are affecting things in a future orientated fashion. On that last point be honest with your fear - in the interests of leading by example: My sexual failures would always surmount my successes. Successes have outweighed failures. But I was only truly confident in sexual areas where I had a 100% success rate. Problems are then triggered by past abuse I have recalled and the fear that that could turn me into a pedophile. So I have to control my fantasy and sexual conduct 100% to avoid that which I do without realising. When I have real insight, sexual harm and POCD return. The point here is to test your predictions and take a BIG leap of faith to reclaim your sexuality. The other aspect is to realise it is not a quick solution: sexual obsessions are particularly tricky but they are also getting more and more common. Problems with arousal and orgasm were common with people who used to have HIV. It’s the same irrational fear that you could enjoy molesting your own kid, or of having an unwanted pregnancy. - understand that your sensitivity to anxiety and fear may be genetic but it is not impervious to influence. This is where deep work on your self belief and the hard work of addressing confidence, past trauma or bullying and condependancy needs to be addressed as fully as possible. Erp is good, Cbt is good, But some inner work is also required. It’s about rebuilding your character and transforming to be closer to someone who just doesn’t get so easily tripped up. There are many with our predispositions who have we celebrated and excellent mental health. This is medium to long term work and is a deep investment in yourself. It should be seen that way. And aim for a grade A score, not 100%. Allow for some imperfection. That for me is: - knowing I will have perverse unwanted thoughts from time to time. - knowing that I sometimes take several minutes to get aroused, and may need that time again during love making. So I best build on those other skills I’m more confident in. - knowing I LOSE CONFIDENCE, when there is a break in activity ( for me this was birth of our second child which was very tough, and almost didn’t happen). Had that not happened.......I might not be here obsessing. Good luck people. I am FAR from free - and this is going to trip me up again and again, and I will need support and admit my embarrassments. But if I can help you today, then I would like to do so.