Welcome to
the NOCD Community

when will i ever get myself under control. i hate this. i hate everything. it’s taken so much away from me. i feel like i’ll never recover.

People who have experienced ROCD- I had a rough day yesterday with my boyfriend due to acting on some compulsions. My compulsion is to seek reassurance. It was just not a good night because he was getting impatient, I was getting sensitive.. just not good. Anyway, we’re good now, but I just feel uneasy. My OCD always continues because after I complete a compulsion, I feel guilty and then I get more irrational thoughts that my boyfriend will leave me... thus I seek more reassurance. How do I get out of this insecure space in my head WITHOUT seeking reassurance again? Does this last a long time?

can someone help me with my post from 6 hours ago please. just please.

False memories and past event obsessions are making me feel so isolated. Like I can't relate to the talks about needing to accept that bad things could happen because I feel like I've already ruined my life by accident and I cannot trust anyone because of false memories and I suppressed my dark side/personality disorders. I know you all cannot really reassure but is anyone else out there in this situation?

I just did a panic attack because we were talking about death in english class today.

I am having existential ocd, like im feeling nervous when I am thinking about life and especially what happens after death. I am not like this before. Will I ever be back to normal?

I saw a better therapist today, she seemed as if she’s been familiar with same people as me. Still fearful and worried. I become fearful of good thoughts because I feel they’ll come around to bite me. It feels the more I try to think of good thoughts genuinely they’re filled with doubt as soon as I say or think them and it really sucks. Does anyone else fear that they’re losing their masculinity(guys)?

I’m starting to believe an intrusive thought as a memory and I can’t live with the thought that I might’ve done it ): I know I haven’t but I’m scared I’m going to full on believe I did and ruin my life because of it. No matter how much I tell myself I haven’t I don’t believe it and it feels like my life is over

Did anybody felt better when taking zoloft?

Currently dealing with thoughts that my boyfriend doesn’t care about me based on our interactions last night and this morning via text (which I shouldn’t even read into). Usually I would confront him and he would assure me that’s not the case... but then that feeds the OCD and I feel guilt. I’m fighting really hard right now but it’s hard. Another layer of this is that we have different love languages. I’m words of affirmation, and that’s something he’s trying to work on but some days it does falls flat for me. Helpppp!

Does anyone else literally get stuck in the bathroom because you washed your hands but then you touched a tap and or the towel and you keep going. Your parents are getting angry because of how long you have been in there and your breakfast is going cold? This happens everyday 4 me

My biggest HOCD fear Isn’t even about being gay anymore it’s about hurting others and being known as a liar or that I deceived her and every other girl I dated. I don’t even give myself the freedom to be gay if I felt like being gay hahah it’s completely dependent on how others will feel and see me and the shame and the yatta yatta...GUYS OR GIRLS WHO ARE GOING THROUGH HOCD...I’ve dug myself too big of a whole to the point where my sexuality might actually be something else hahaha but the feeling and thoughts of HOCD still keeps me up at night and attack me in the morning - ALL RELATED TO GUILT AND SHAME AND BEING GAY IN THE FUTURE WITH MY BEST MALE FRIEND AND LIFE COMING TO AN END....but I’m getting through it somehow! If you want to laugh let’s talk about our stories. There was once a time where I got 35 erections in one day all for guys including around every male family member in my family and male friend in my class. The girls that I hooked up with frequently and had sex with all the time came to me years later and I couldn’t get it up and they were all so confused.

I haven't even had any intrusive thoughts, I'm just anxious I'm a bad person and am what I fear. I KNOW I should be confident, I know I should label the thoughts as ocd, but yet I still fear I don't truly have ocd or that I really am just truly a bad person who has manipulated their therapist into thinking they aren't or that I'm just some sort of bad person who on the spectrum isn't as bad as others or something? I just hate this. *possible trigger* I always pray that if I truly am a P that God will just kill me some how.

Friends here with ROCD- I haven’t ever been in a serious relationship, the last time I “dated” was 8 years ago, and I don’t really think I know what it actually looks like to like someone. I’ve recognized a certain cycle that’s happened probably 20 times in my life but didn’t realize how unhealthy it was until this year. This is the cycle: I find a guy somewhat attractive, he either says something or does something small (normal, not out of the ordinary?), my brain takes this little thing(s) and obsesses over it & turns it into this huge deal where I keep thinking about him, stalking his social media, making me compulsive (googling things, asking friends for advice, etc), and making me believe I really like this guy. This has happened twice in the last 3 months. Does this happen to anyone else?! How do you break the cycle, etc? When I’m in the obsession phase, it literally lasts for a week and sometimes makes me physically sick from the stress. Help!

Advice please! I have OCD, and it’s wormed it’s way to my relationship. It particularly revolves around social media, trust and the security of being together “forever”. I whole heartedly trust my partner. However, we all know that OCD causes doubt in the most rational things. Lately, if I get an irrational thought, I ask my partner if it’s true or not true, I get the affirmation I need, and then I feel intense guilt. The cycle begins again because I feel insecure for asking such questions, How do I work through these nagging thoughts and not bring my boyfriend into it? I get super impulsive and just ask him to reassure me. When I don’t ask him and challenge the thought, I’m really moody with him. I’ve had OCD my entire life and have “cured” other obsessions/rituals but for some reason, this one is tough, since another person is involved. Any advice?!

I feel pretty dumb and emotionless right now. Do not feel like myself. Again, no libido, forced with HOCD, don’t want to go anywhere except stay in bed. I just want my love for women to be back. I just don’t feel the same anymore. I’m looking up stuff and it says that this shit affects relationships with your girlfriend/Significant other and now I’m even more depressed over this shit. It’s like when I genuinely try to think about her, I feel good, then it immediately goes away, she is so beautiful, we want everything together. Why am I in my own hellhole of doom in my head. Seriously, I love this woman deep down, I want to be intimate, so why is that so hard to ask? Why do I have to suffer? I’m almost done with this bs

I get bullied at school for having this. What should I do?

Hi everyone! Hope everyone’s doing well. I just wanted to ask a question because I’ve been trying to improve with not letting the intrusive thoughts make me spiral, but something happened the other day that has been making me really upset, and down, but I don’t know if my worry is connected to my OCD or if it’s just general feelings. I just wanted some advice. Basically, I’ve been struggling with POCD and also have struggled with HOCD however the HOCD is not as bad now, however I do still frequently get the intrusive thoughts. Anyway, someone on here told me and several sites that I had been making my OCD worse by avoiding things such as masturbating or porn to avoid the intrusive thoughts in these situations. So the other day, I tried to watch some whilst masturbating, and not stopping if the intrusive thoughts came, and just try and brush them off and not have a guilt spiral. But I watched a video that came up and it was a man working as a masseuse and there were different women coming in and he was massaging them but going close to her down below and then touching her there. And the camera angle was weird, and it looked hidden and I did get a bit worried about it but just carried on. But then I looked at the top of the video and it said sponsored by hidden cameras in massage places. And then I was like omg no what if this video has been uploaded and the women didn’t have consent and they didn’t know they were being filmed and I’ve just watched a man touching them. And I didn’t stop the video, I watched for around 20 more seconds and then turned it off so now I feel so so guilty, and I feel like a terrible person. Is this my OCD ? I’m just so stressed and feel awful, I keep trying to brush the thoughts away but it’s becoming difficult to, and it’s making me feel terrible. Any help ?

I have had harm intrusive thoughts for over 45 years. Though I fell better I still have bad weeks or months. Retired law enforcement, I saw alot of bad things that triggered my OCD. My faith in God has got me through, but I also believe God puts people in your path to help so you in return can help others. Thank you for everyone involved that have the courage to share there story. Thanks, Jeff

Ocd warriors please some advice ❤️ Are fake feelings a thing? Or am I just making stuff up. Sometimes I “feel” all these horrible things about my partner but I know even in those moments deep down that I love him! And when I’m not in those moments it’s not even just deep down that I love him - it’s right there, on the surface. I even feel guilty typing ‘deep down’ but it’s the only way I can try and explain it. I’m a 13hr shift tomorrow and I can’t even bare to think of it and how I will get through it feeling the way I do. For the first time in a while I’ve had suicidal thoughts and that’s not really like me. My fake ‘feelings’ make me feel I’ve betrayed my boyfriend, and I feel I’m not in control and have opposite actions. For example actions I don’t want to do, that I do. E.g, leaning too close over a colleague when reaching for something near them. I don’t know what else to do?