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I have pure O and I have terrible images and thoughts in my head.Its so scary and I hate it .It has brought my life to a complete stand still.I feel like a bad person...

Anyone suffer with false memory ocd? I am at my wits end with this now. My ocd has always focused on either my sexuality (which is the milder one) or hurting a child perhaps in a sexual way (the most awful one ever). The thought I have at the moment revolves around sleeping in the same bed as my niece. The ocd keeps saying to me “what if when you were asleep you put your leg over her and your bits touched her?” I just cannot get this horrid thought out of my head. I think I am a disgusting person to have this thought. I keep saying that I would remember and arguing with the ocd but it comes back with another what if...... I cannot bear this any longer and just feel like ending it all. I lost my mum two years ago and am really struggling. I have had a lot of traumatic events in the last few years and now this pathetic ocd comes up with this after years. I hate it. I have a counsellor and for a few days I can see it for what it is then I tumble back down into the black pit. Can anyone help please? Xx

I am a nurse and have an anxiety about germ. This seriously affects my job! What should I do?

Broke up with my boyfriend today and feel like crap. we love each other dearly but I hurt him about six months ago. An of and on friend of mine was someone who knew me very well, we had quite the history, and still remained friends after all that. My boyfriend thought he was in love with him and I loved him. I didn’t believe it and I still ended talking to him. Deep down, all I wanted was the truth my friend was hiding for me for two years. He said he went to UT but actually was going to the community college instead??? He lied about a lot of things he said to me and everyone told me what they thought, but even with that I wanted empirical data. This obsession broke my boyfriends heart. I got passed the problem and block my friend after he stalked my boyfriend and I behind my car in a bmw. My boyfriend never got over it though. Last night my boyfriend said he wanted a break, he said we were drifting apart, which was utter bs reason. So, after my classes were over he met me in my car. I told him I couldn’t do a break, you either have me, or you don’t. So I broke up with him. He explained how he’s been heartbroken over my friends and I situation together for the last six months and has been suppressing his pain. The guilt that hit me was shitty. I feel like a shitty person. Although I didn’t ever cheat, it feels like I did bc I crossed a line. All I wanted was the truth and I allowed my ocd to decide the faith of my relationship. We were crying in my car together for an hour while hugging and talking. I think we left of good terms since we do deeply love each other although he couldn’t get over that. That’s what is killing me. How much I hurt him and I feel so selfish for not seeing it and I can’t stop crying. My ocd is telling me how shitty of a person I am. Ugh this rant helped lol.

hey guys could someone help me or relate to this? im a female and i’ve always been straight. i just love guys and i’ve never had any feelings towards girls. but recently the past month or two i’ve started thinking oh shit what if i’m gay and i don’t really know what caused me to think this but i can’t get it out of my head and it makes me so grossed out and i just start crying because i can’t stop. i don’t have anything against gays i just personally don’t like it for myself. i know that this is just a obsession but i have panic attacks about it almost every night and i just don’t know what to do. can someone please help.

I’m having such a bad day, my rocd has gone back up and I’m feeling fearful which only makes it worse. I hate the way it makes me feel. That and I feel sick from it, my boyfriend is something I value greatly and our relationship and this makes me feel so horrible. I do know it’s not true but that doesn’t stop it from making me feel this way, I’ve been trying hard to not react to the thoughts and i can’t seem to.

Right I need some serious help. Well where do I begin, I have been doing rituals since 4 years ago. I started doing rituals because I think I was having a really bad week at school and when I started doing the rituals they seemed to be making things better, and gradually I just started doing loads of them and I just lost track of how many I had, it was unbearable. Fast forward 4 years and here I am, I was upset anyway because I was feeling anxious because someone looked at me funny and I started panicking and I was thinking stuff like, what if they hate me and why were they looking at me. At the time I was opening up to my mum and we was watching a series at the time I was opening up to her. Then suddenly, a scene came on where there were terrorists and I just froze, what if I am a terrorist, and since then I haven’t been able to get out of my head the thought of being a terrorist and my mind convincing me that I am one even though I know I am not. I am still struggling with these thoughts now and your mind really does a good job in to thinking you are an evil terrorist even though deep down you know you’d never do something like that. I have managed to stop the rituals now but I still suffer with the thoughts which makes me think “maybe it isn’t OCD then as I don’t do any compulsions, maybe I am just evil” and then I always get stressed out and reply with “No, I am not” which I know isn’t good and I try to not reply and just let them be there but I just don’t know how to, it’s so hard. I’m really impatient with meditating. When I first started having the thoughts I couldn’t eat, I can eat now and go out but I am always getting the thoughts. The only time I don’t get the thoughts is if I am really busy doing stuff like work etc, I also get the same thing with like school shootings anything to do with that sort of terrorism stuff, I hate it so much. I have been to the doctors and I am on antidepressants and I am also getting therapy for it but will it help me? Would you say I have OCD? My intrusive thoughts always seem to target the things I like most so for example they target when I go to football games, my brain tells me I am going to commit an attack here and it makes me upset and it also happens when I go to college and my brain tells me I am going to commit an attack there which also upsets me. My brain also tells me when I start working (which I want to do) I am going to spend all of my money on weapons which therefore prevents me from wanting to get a job which means I can’t buy stuff that I want or start driving as I need money for it. Lately, my OCD has been weird because I have been getting the thoughts but I don’t get as anxious which makes me feel like, maybe it is just me, maybe I am a terrorist, maybe I will act on it which therefore makes me feel weird and scares me a bit but doesn’t scare me as much as it should do because I want to be really scared of the thought of acting out on it (which I used to be) but now I don’t react to it with as much anxiety but the thoughts are there and I feel like I should be reacting to them in a way where I shut them down but I am not. This all stemmed from when my doctor asked me, “am I planning something” and I said no but since then it has just stuck in my head and it has been like, “what if I am planning something” or what if I do plan something. Lately, I’ve been talking to a girl that I really like and my thoughts targeted her because I really like her, like when I met her my brain was telling me I was going to hurt her or her family when I obviously wasn’t going to and I’ve tried to just let the thoughts be there but sometimes it just gets too much for you and you can’t not get emotional. I cried a lot the other day about it. I’m starting therapy tomorrow so hopefully I can get some help. I also seem to get triggered by reading about what other people experienced because I read about other people’s experiences with their OCD and some had paedophilic OCD and I was like what if I am one of them? And then I looked at a young girl and my brain told me I was attracted to her but I obviously wasn’t but that one came for like 2 days non stop and then stopped. When I hear loud noises I also think about terrorism things like, gun shots or bombs and it really scares me. I also have horrible thoughts like, what if I get angry and act out on any thoughts and it really stresses me out or what if one of my close family members pass and I act out in a bad way due to not coping with the grief. I also get quite worried because I never see anyone with my sort of intrusive thoughts and it makes me feel like it isn’t OCD which stresses me out and makes me overthink. That isn’t even getting started on my relationship with my girlfriend. I have been booked in for CBT therapy in 3 months, but will it actually help me? Will it actually improve my life? Sorry for the really long message, I just really need some help.

Has anyone ever had a fixation on words? It sounds weird but sometimes I get obsessed with the meanings of words or whether I understood something I heard or read, and then that intrusive thought distracts me from the conversation, book, tv show, etc. and I freak out because I feel like I can’t track/retain information normally. If I don’t have that thought I’m fine, but if it pops up, it’s so hard to get unstuck.

Hi I'm at school and my OCD is killing me and on my birthday too. I just hate it and want it to end. I have no access to any help so can anyone help me out please?

I used to share a room with my cousin and sometimes woke up with morning wood. Does that mean something ?

NEED INSIGHT: Ok so today as some people know is ash wed. I’m not a very religious person anymore but I do believe in God, just not so much the formalities of religion. My Mom wants me to go get my ashes today and was guilt tripping me by saying all that God has done and I believe her but now I have a lot of Guilt induced OCD. If I go get my ashes it’s going to be partially because I want to but mainly because of OCD induced guilt of my mind telling me how if I don’t get ashes I’m a bad person and will upset God and it would almost be like a compulsion if I go. I’m not sure what to do here... Any insight would be much appreciated.

my OCD has caused my marriage to start to fail because I cannot controls my impulses and get very angry when I can’t make someone understand. Does anyone have advice on how I could controls the anger better or make my spouse understand?

Im truly fighting everyday to get past this because im tired of living with this disease. But the embarrassment that comes with telling people about my compulsions makes it difficult to seek help. There is no life with ocd. Just bleek survival

Just went down a rabbit hole of googling a lot of stuff for almost 2 hours about pedophilia. And now I’ve got my self scared. I haven’t done it this bad in almost 2 months. I hate this. I was diagnosed with OCD, but some stuff I masturbated to a while back when I had a slight porn addiction is giving me proof. (Not actual children by the way) I’ve had OCD my whole life, and I’m starting to wonder if when I had thoughts about children before my huge spike if they were also intrusive, and I just didn’t care much about them then? Why would I just start caring now. I’m so broken.

Hygiene ocd. Recently I’ve been plagued with constantly washing my hands and fear of contamination. My biggest dilemma right now is I used the washroom this morning and the soap dispenser was near empty. I was able to get a little bit enough to make suds and washed my hands. However after waking up and touching the milk container / making breakfast. I feel as if the germs from my hands may have gotten to the container. So I spilled it out and now I can’t stop thinking what it the germs are all inside my fridge now. Annnd it’s supper time and I’m suppose to somehow cook dinner for my kid ?? Ocd please go away....

Y'all this pocd is so stupid. I know myself. I'm a 21 year old woman who has literally been into older men since i was in elementary school lol. And I've been into my age and older too in women since 4th grade when i figured out i was bi. BUT, in all those years, I've never thought about children in the same manner. Kids actually always highly irritated me. Also, when someone I've dated acted too childish, i wasn't into it. The only thing I've been into is being the dominant over an ”innocent” acting person during sex. And this also goes with the daddy kink. BUT i never actually thought about kids in regards to these things. Literally nothing adds up to me wanting to seek out kids, but now, because of intrusive thoughts, I'm suddenly worried that I'm a pedophile? It's so stupid but here i am and i feel so gross and I'm so done. I don't want to worry anymore. I swear I'm a good person, i just want to believe it.

Is ocd just a coping mechanism for resisting feelings you don’t like? Something has occurred to me in my recovery process. I’ve spent years fighting my feelings and thoughts. I tried everything - meditation, yoga, Cbt, somatic experiencing, Ativan. I wanted to escape the pain I felt and the anxiety and bad thoughts. Now that I think about it, my dad turned to alcohol for that and maybe I turned to OCD. I always had general anxiety as a kid, some depression too. Over the years, my anxiety attacks and panic attacks decreased, however my ocd has gotten completely out of control. The last few weeks I’ve been working on exposures to anxiety and my thoughts. It’s horrible stuff because I have to let myself just feel the anxiety attack and all of the horrible sensations (including derealization!). Just ride it out and let it do it’s thing. However I noticed that when I get anxious these days if I just let it do it’s thing it’ll peak and come down after some time. And I actually feel some relief afterwards. It feels very natural. The old me would try to squash it using Compulsion strategies to escape that feeling. Has anyone else encountered the notion that OCD might be a coping mechanism for dealing with difficult feelings you don’t like?

Everyday I see a trigger that most people can walk away from but having contamination ocd I’m really struggling. Today I saw blood on the public bathroom floor and while I saw it before I stepped in the stall, I’m just really struggling now as I got close to it and public bath and blood are my trigger. Really looking for tools to fight that ocd voice please.

[Long im sorry] Hey everyone. I took a break for a while. I made a mistake a week ago and i googled a bunch of things i shouldnt. They worked their way into my ocd and its been harder since it morphed. I have good days and bad, since ive been working out trying to cut down on ruminating and compulsing and working on responding instead of reacting to my intrusive thoughts. I broke down and ritualized twice the other day. I tried being kind to myself since i know im human and it happens. Its just hard because im stubborn. I know my truth but my brain wont accept it and im too stubborn to go along with it to stop the obsessive wheel. It constantly feels like im being dragged against my will. I tried to join the HOCD reddit board but my situation is so unique i dont feel like i belong enough to post, which i think is hurting me the most. My self esteems in the toilet. Why would a gay trans man be afraid that hes a lesbian? I know that its stupid, hypocritical and ridiculous but honestly its been one of my biggest fears in talking about my issues. I feel like such a niche case, despite all my symptoms being spot on and screaming "hocd". Ill try to be kinder to myself today, work with mindfulness, try not to get so wrapped up. Ive just been so depressed over it all and needed to just get it out.

Is it possible to have POCD about someone else? Like I fear that other people, especially my bf, are pedophiles. Is that a part of this OCD, because my life has been hell for the past few months analyzing everything my bf does to see if he’s a pedophile. It’s caused so much anxiety and depression, especially since we have a one month old together now.