Welcome to
the NOCD Community

New here and hoping having a community to share things with will help me gain some perspective and calm my anxiety. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, he’s struggled a lot with depression and alcohol use over the last year however he’s saying he hasn’t used alcohol to cope in over a month, and I know he is truly trying. If I get a text from him that seems “off” I start obsessing over if he has been drinking or if he’s smoked weed (which isn’t a big deal but for some reason when it’s him it’s a big deal to me), if I’m on the phone with him and he sounds “off” I begin to obsess as well. Realistically there’s nothing tangible that should make me think he isn’t sober. When I’m obsessing I will ask him several times if he’s drank or smoked and he gets so frustrated but I need so much reassurance and I get so worried. On top of that we’ve both been stressed and very busy lately so I’ve been constantly asking myself if I’m happy, if I really love him, if our relationship is actually good, if this is the right guy for me, because we just haven’t been able to spend any real quality time together recently. I feel horrible and so guilty for thinking these things and trying to figure out if I actually feel them or if I’m just making stuff up. There have been times like this before and then it feels like my feelings of love are back and I say to myself, next time this happens remember how you actually feel, you know you love him so much. I hate feeling like I’m constantly waiting for the moment when I feel like everything is “back to normal”, and I can’t help but think that’s an aspect of OCD too.

I feel like sometimes I could do these thoughts feelings and I should come out maybe I don't know. I just can't imagine doing these things? 😞

My health related OCD has been so bad this morning. It's not even 9:00 a.m. and I've already spent 2 hours compulsively checking my temperature my rib upper abdomen area my arms, under my chin. I don't know how to stop it and it's really bad this morning if anyone has any help I need it

Can ocd make you remember stuff that happened in the past ? Like rn I’m not sure if I sexualized or looked at a child in a sexual way in the past or If I got aroused seeing a pic of a kid.. bc I do remember when I would like see a post of a kid and I remember feeling a type of way? But I don’t really remember how I felt looking at the picture and idk if this is suppressed pedophila :/ it really feels like I did in the past I think idk I can’t navigate how it really was moslty the feeling or what I said in my head like idk 😭😭😭 UGHH WHY.

I was crying in the hall ways at school and no one came to help? Does that mean no one cared and we live in a selfish world

Ok so I really need some advice. A while back I told my mom about my ocd, very briefly. She is very supportive, and we have an amazing relationship. Over the past year I would say my ocd has gotten progressively worse. I am struggling a lot recently, my thoughts are taking over. I really think it’s time I get some professional help, but I can’t work up the courage to say.(I’m under 18) therefore I can’t just get a therapist myself, meaning I have to ask her. I know she would do anything for me, I mean my brother has some metal illness but he HAD to get professional help because it was recommended due to bad depression. Anyway, the one thing that’s stoping me is the fact that she is so caring for her kids that when I tell her, her heart is gonna break,I know as a mom she is gonna be hurt, but knowing she is gonna be hurt is gonna hurt me. I’m also afraid she’s gonna so about my thoughts, and that I know is gonna break her, and to be honest I just don’t know if I’m comfortable talking about it with her. I’m struggling so much right now. Any advice to make it easier? I’ll take anything I can get.

I’m struggling right now. I felt better last night and earlier today about the mistake I made again last night. Now, however, as I am sitting out here in the living room with my family the guilt is growing and I am having a hard time not ruminating about it. A part of me wants to confess but I don’t think I ever could because it’s too embarrassing and humiliating. I don’t know why but seeing my family seems to make my mistakes come to the forefront of my mind.

+18 only please Can I just talk to someone who deals with sexual OCD? Or someone who has a hard time dealing with sexual shame? Anyone?

I hate this, why is no one commenting on my post an I invisible??

Dp/Dr tips?? Ivr been struggling a lot with this (I think)

it's like now i am okay with being gay? no panic?????

I’m searching for a boyfriend. Which is an obsession of mine. I finally am supposed to meet a guy for coffee next weekend. I should be elated but I’m anxious. This is because I am in love with a celebrity. I’m afraid I’ll have to stop loving the celebrity and stop thinking about him if I have a boyfriend.

Does anyone else get super upset and have their entire day thrown off if one little thing goes not according to plan? This morning I woke up super happy and excited to get stuff done today. But long story short I thought a meeting I was looking forward to was at 10am but it was actually at 9am so I missed it. And now I have not been able to do any of the other things I was excited for and it’s been a few hours. I’m just sitting on the couch frozen. I have no inspiration or motivation now and I hate that this one tiny mishap triggered me into this. Curious if others experience this and if you think it’s OCD related. Thanks!

i just came accross a reel that was like "the book of answers" where you ask a question and the person opens a page with the supposed answer, and so i wanted to ask if i was gay but then i went "but last time you came accross something like this they said yes" and so the answer was "yes but don't force it". why am i not panicking??????

OCD, Covid, and making new friends. Covid and I have had a rocky relationship that has only gotten worse, even after being vaccinated. I spent all of August trapped inside my own head, terrified that the littlest itchy throat or runny nose would mean I had Covid and could spread it to others. Things got better once I sat with the uncertainty; September, so far, has been wonderful. Even last night, I was thinking about how Covid and how if I hear someone cough I'm not bothered nearly as much. Until today. I wake up, going to meet someone new. My brain tries to tell me i'll catch Delta, i'll catch Covid and spread it, i'll have to take time off to be sick, i'll have to get tested, my week will be ruined. I tell my brain, I'm vaccinated. We're outside. I've met new people before in the same situation and haven't gotten Covid. I am willing to take this risk. I am not going to be afraid anymore. I meet up with this potential new friend. She coughs a little, I think nothing of it, perhaps some saliva went down the wrong pipe. Then she tells me she has a scratchy throat from yelling at work the past two days and "doesn't think she's sick", but also says she's going to go home and drink water and rest. I shut down while at the same time trying to assume the best in people. That's a valid conjecture, right? Voice overuse can make your throat really hurt, so I stick it out for the 45 minutes we are together, trying not to come off as being ABSOLUTELY terrified. I'm vaccinated. I'm outside. It doesn't help the storm building in my brain. I come home. I tell my roommate, who is a realist about my constant Covid anxiety. "If you get sick, you get sick, and there's nothing you can do about it." I call my mom "You'll be okay. She just had a scratchy throat. Don't worry over nothing." And yet, I make the reminder on my phone to get Covid tested on Thursday because that's 5 days after what could have been an exposure because that's what's on the CDC website for vaccinated people, because this potential new friend COULD have it. She could. And prepare myself for a week of depression, panic, confessing to everyone I see at work, at my DREAM job no less, that I hung out with someone with a scratchy throat for 45 minutes to be sure I am doing enough to protect myself, to protect others. Just like August, just like July, just like May. Or, not saying anything and feeling awful because should I? Shouldn't I? How do I make this cycle end? How do I keep my happiness despite Covid looming all around? How do I make new friends with this constant intense fear? How do I draw lines between my moral OCD and confessing and doing what if the best to keep Covid at bay? How do I not break down at the idea of searching once again for the perfect therapist for hours, when I just left an amazing therapist that I took months who isn't licensed to practice in my new location? Just a ramble I guess. Maybe someone can see this and relate, maybe someone has advice. Just putting this all out there. Hope everyone else is doing okay.

I will not accept such a thing to happen, I will not accept anything to interfere with my physical and mental integrity because I believe that anything that is not natural can permanently change my state of health. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. I prefer to be constantly sad and try to work it out through cognitive behavioral therapy rather than putting chemical reactions in my body. Ultimately it is my right which concerns my own health and because I know very well the interests of psychiatrists I consider that such a thing is not necessary for me at the moment.From the testimonies of friends of acquaintances and online friends, I am fully informed about the symptoms and side effects. I inform you it will be many more than I would have had without the drugs. Initially migraine headaches bone pain or discomfort are just a few of them. Not to mention behavioral personality changes, the feeling of emptiness, the difficulty in love and in understanding situations, compassion and humanity. So you understand that this is one of the most important issues that will ever concern me because I do not accept anyone to change my characteristics to get rid of stress.These side effects never go away because they are no longer chemical reactions, they are not emotions that come and go but it is something chemical that has intervened in health and there is no going back. It is 100% true and proven all these years that the use of antidepressants leads the person to addiction

So the game didn’t go how I expected with my friends but our team won tho, I just felt left out and judged by one of my friends in our friend group I felt like she was judging me and seeing me in a different way like if she was suspicious of me :( idk if it’s bc of when I liked a guy who was one year younger than me and she said something like “you like younger dudes kat?” But my other friend didn’t take it seriously she thought it was a joke but this was like a few months ago so that’s why I’m thinking if it’s something I said or if acted a certain way bc I also felt kinda left out too and felt like she was closer to my other friend more than me :/ idk I feel like I’m being dramatic or too sensitive abt it but I do get friend jealous or just feel left out and isolated if I don’t feel like included especially if I’m like kinda trying but idk whatever I’ll just get over it ig 😭 I hate conflict so I might keep it to myself and not tell her abt it. I just feel like maybe I don’t have a right to be defensive bc what if that makes me a pedo and I’m denying it? Like my abuser would say stuff to me abt how like he wouldn’t do anything to me and stuff like “I’m not gonna do anything, you’re acting like I’m gonna do something to you !” And idk if I’m the same way :( I really hate this. Omg this is soo long sorry y’all but if you read it then “🥺❤️‍🩹” I love you but I honestly just feel alone in this theme sometimes and I feel better to vent here 😭 but I don’t mean to always like get attention but I just- idk I hardly ever feel listened to when I open up abt my true feelings so yah 😅 haha I’m done now 🧍🏽‍♀️

I could use any kind words/guidance. I'm not trying to ask for reassurance thats not my intention I'm just explaining my thought process. Any helpful tips would be appreciated. Hey guys. I am a female who struggles with sexual orientation ocd. It's completely taken over my life. In the beginning, (Nov 2019) I was convinced I was just gay and felt like I was lying to my parents and family about who I was because these feelings were so new. This is something that I've been obsessing over daily. I always had this fear of being gay since I was a little girl and I think I convinced myself that if I think another girl is beautiful that it's because I'm gay. Now keep in mind I've never looked at a girl and thought "Omg I want to kiss her, date her etc" but because I associated being gay as something else since I was little, that's what I have convinced myself as. I even tried self exposure therapy, like googling "hot girls" and scrolling down the pics and making sure I don't look at a girl and want to be with her, and although I don't view females that way, it has turned into a compulsion. I've always been a girly girl and I love looking at other girls makeup, outfits and just girls in general because I have always compared myself to others. Now I feel that I'm gay because of that. In the beginning I felt fearful and scared to see lesbian couples, avoided women etc, but now I don't get uncomfortable or triggered at lesbian couples or girls, but instead I scan every girl I see as a compulsion testing myself. Now I'm thinking, am I not uncomfortable anymore because I'm accepting this? And I always loop back to the thought "well how would a REAL lesbian feel/emotions" and its a horrible toxic cycle. I have no sense of identity. And I've been struggling with these obsessions (severely) since Nov 2019, is it normal to obsess this long? Ugh. It's one of those days.

Please read - People always say "I'm lonely" despite being in a relationship or having some friends..They probably don't even know what loneliness really is.If you have a partner you're not a loner.Your partner is (or should be) your friend. If you have people to talk to - People that you get along with - you're not friendless either.Do you guys know what is loneliness? loneliness is when you don't have anyone to talk to..when you don't feel understood by others (despite them being in your life) When you wake up and don't have a single unread message or one missed call..when you want to call someone you know but everyone is always too busy..people confuse loneliness with boredom.Boredom is not the same as loneliness and never will be. boredom is temporary loneliness is permanent I'm here because I would love to find someone to talk to.I don't have any true friends & I want to change my situation.I don't really want to wait any longer than 5 or 6 hours on a message that can be typed and send in a few seconds or minutes..I'm a human too and I hate excuses..I don't need another shallow friendship. I want to meet someone who wants to talk on a daily basis - why? I want to finally see someone's engagement..I want to talk to someone who also needs a friend to talk to throughout the day.I'm always the one waiting for people's messages and I'm sick of them never making any time for me. & I don't feel understood by them. Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. I have a lot of free time (I don't want anyone to send me a message only out of sympathy or boredom though - friendships shouldn't be forced) so..send me a message only If you want to talk often and If you're a talkative person) I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful messages. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort. I personally don't care about people's interests -common interests.What matters to me is your honesty,respect,your outlook on life. I'd rather talk to someone in a similar situation.Someone friendless..Don't get me wrong - most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends in real life are usually more focused on them & have less time for others.Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on.Sometimes I feel like the only friendless & rejected person in the world.I love warm-hearted people.Sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything I want to meet someone who won't reject me & my friendship My boyfriend used to treat me like a princess to..leave me..& now? I just need a friend..Nothing else 18-35 age range. Send me a private message If you want to talk.. or download kik empathy95 my username I'm not looking for any relationship.Just someone like me.. to cry together and laugh together and support each other.I can't bear the pain..I don't want to hear "find a therapist" or "everything will be ok" because life is unpredictable..I just want to find someone who can relate..someone in the same situation.Someone who always will be there (If we get along) I need it more than ever.I know how sad my post is but I'm also very sad.I can't believe someone I loved so much just left me.blaming me for everything..I just can't.Nothing hurts more than being super friendless.having no one who understands you..I really would rather talk to someone in exactly the same situation.I'm too sad to talk only about random stuff or hear positive stories from other people.I want to talk to another person willing to listen to me.Another person who doesn't have anyone just to support each other.Someone who would never tell me "move on" or "stop complaining" someone who needs someone to talk to almost all the time.I don't want to feel like the only sad person in the world or be rejected again.Most people say "I don't have any friends.I would do anything for a friend" but they never have time for others..Imagine never getting any messages from others..always waiting for someone to text you..waiting & waiting..spending most of your time at home (not by choice) I really wish I had at least one person in my life.One person who would make me feel important.If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to daily (throughout the day and even night)I always make time for others. It's just too much to ask for just don't message me but please don't criticise me.I'm sad enough because I'm left all alone

Last question of the night. I was shopping and watching this you tuber and he made like a little prayer about his god and stuff . Whenever other people of other religions worship or praise their god i feel like i need to make sure to say or think something confirming my belief to God and my religion. Now i feel like despite doing that I can’t buy anything from the site because everything is tainted? In a way. It’s like mental contamination? Ocd? Or no? And if it is ocd how do i combat this? (I don’t mean to offend anyone of other religions through this post. That isn’t my intention)