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I have spent about 6 hours today trying to figure out the answers to a couple questions. And I feel like I will lose my salvation if I don’t get the answers right. At this point, I am just going in circles in my mind.

I feel like crap. I am out in medication but I know it is not a fix all. I know I still have to work on this and I am still going to have tough days I am just so scared that I am not living my life ti the fullest. I am just really tired. I am trying my hardest though. I am scared the most about not being happy. I have had to live one day at a time before. I don’t want it ti get that bad again. I feel like I am just stuck in this infante loop. I am happy, then normal then horrible then slowly I pick myself up again and I can be happy but I miss out on so much while I am miserable. It is the worst feeling. It feels like nothing can fix this, all my fears are true and life has no meaning. I have am having a really hard week. I am sick, I m trying to socialize, I am doing work, I am away from home. It is just really hard right now. And I am scared it is going to just get worse

my ocd triggers my ptsd everyday and im struggling to escape these vivid intrusive thoughts. i feel so detached and unaware, like im not me. am i in denial of reality in some way? if so, how do i snap out of this daze? im in a dream state all the time i think cuz of the pain im in. i just want one day without sinister chatter in my mind and gross feelings invading my body whenever my mind goes blank. instead of silence in my brain, there's something that fills the emptiness with negativity. it feels like a gravity pulling me down into a terrible place like something wont let go and im being gas lighted into thinking i want it. it's also like im compulsively mocking myself in the most cruel ways i can think of, but it's a voice that is definitely not me. then i follow it up with a defense compulsion even though i shouldn't need to since the truth is obvious that i am not evil and i dont wanna do bad things. my trauma is taking away my sanity/consciousness and im tryna gain it back, but i welcome any positivity.

I see people living their lives and just enjoying themselves. Not taking things too seriously and not overly stressing. And then there’s me. Who stresses at the slightest thing. Whose OCD has taken massive chunks of my life that I’ll never get back. It feels like I’m going through life just terrified of my own f*cking shadow… Any small thing I have to deal with that to anyone else might just cause slight inconvenience or nervousness, causes me to have an almost complete and utter breakdown. WHY CANT I HANDLE LIFE. I am so ashamed of who I am. I want to be someone who is brave and courageous and who does things and lives life anyway, regardless of fear. But no. I avoid living because of it. Why am I even here if this is how my life is? What is the point? I’m going through it today, friends 😭

So it started i think a month ago when i saw a video about a psyhopath and it said that they start by killing animals when they are young and when i was younger i was killing grasshoppers and from that day i had a fear in my head what if im a psyhopath and don’t know it. i couldn’t get the fear out of my head its like alaways on my mind and i got so scared that something is wrong with me so i started googling stuff because i was so scared that i have a mental illnes so i started reading about stuff one google and i saw a illnes called Schizophrenia and i read about it and when i saw the symptoms i got scared that i have them because i have felt kinda stuck in my mind because of the fear and now im scared that im in the early stage of schizophrenia. Please i just want the fears to stop someone give me advice i just want to live a happy life and focus on my school but its hard because of my fears please how do i know that i dont have schizophrenia because i have read about it i feel like i actually have the symptoms im so tired i would love some i advice please

I've been miserable for days. And the worst part is, I feel like I'm turning into the person I hate. I feel like I'm turning into a devil, a monster. Anything that used to make me feel bad and guilty doesn't make me feel bad anymore, and I feel like I enjoy those things but I'm hiding it. I feel like the people who act like they say they hate these things, but they don't actually hate them but support them. These things include cheating, unfaithfulness, perversion, using people for various reasons, and many other evil things. I feel like im pretending because i don't even feel guilty enough.. I feel like a demon.

This passed December I was diagnosed with severe OCD and it hit me like a whirlwind after watching a movie and then thinking that everything isn’t real and that I am in a simulation like the “don’t worry darling” movie. This was very distressing to me because I was a person who read her bible everyday and every night and then would talk to God through prayer a lot and when this happened it was very difficult for me to pray or open my bible because I thought nothing was real and I made up God in my mind or the person controlling me did to make me think this is real. Shortly after that happened I started having harm thoughts of “oh well if this is isn’t real you could harm someone and then wake up or you would realize if it was or wasn’t real?” like in the “don’t worry darling movie” “Or I am going to have to harm myself to find out or being in Heaven would be way better?” Which ultimately led to crying spells everyday feeling like I was going crazy. I then went to the hospital and got diagnosed and am going through ERP/ACT therapy currently but those thoughts are still very active. And even though my thoughts are active and seem very real I know that there is power in prayer no matter what my thoughts are thinking, so please pray for me to get through this and heal. It’s very hard to see a light. Thank you for reading this and hearing me.

I'm literally just hanging out with my sister and having a good time and I realized "I'm not gonna be young like this forever" and that I'm not immune to death or aging. I'm living just to slowly watch my body die. I'm already going to be 15 this year. I've already passed so much time and I feel like it's going to be so quick and I'll be dead. What if I like living more? What if there's nothing after death? What if it's just black and everything is for nothing. It kinda makes me wish I wasn't born so i wouldn't have to deal with this. it's so stressful. Every moment that passes I'm just getting closer to something I can't control. It's so scary. I can't do this. I physically cannot accept one day I'm going to be gone absolutely forever. I'll have to leave everything. Two minutes ago I wasn't as close to death as I am now. I'm cant handle this.

i was wondering how long everyone has been experiencing ocd? lately i’ve been making myself believe that these thoughts and feelings should have gone away by now and because they’re not, there’s actually something wrong with me. like i feel like i can’t justify these thoughts as ocd anymore and really i’m just turning into a bad person.

Do you guys have the feeling that you are desensitized? I'm afraid of losing my values ​​and acting like my thoughts. I still know what's right and wrong, but I'm no longer shocked or anxious about some things I see (like bad news or cases where there are a lot of differing opinions)...

I think I've struggled with OCD all my life. I struggle with intrusive thoughts alot and recently I just broke down and fell into a spiral I can't get out of. I found out about relationship OCD and sexual orientation OCD and think I may have those. I had an intrusive thought a few months ago that what if i didn't love my fiance anymore and since then I can't shake the idea. Just the day before I told him how much I wanted him to be my husband and up until that point I didn't question my love for him. I don't understand how things can just shake me like that quickly. I know I love him deep down and anytime I get those feelings back my brain is like "you sure about that?" A week later I had a thought about what if I've been a lesbian this whole time and that I'll marry my fiance only to come out as a lesbian in the future. I've always been ok with being Bi, I considered myself 10-20% into women and 80-90% into men. I always had crushes on men and dreamt of finding the man for me one day. I also find women nice to look at but I don't know if it's admiration or actual sexual attraction. Either way I was find with identifying this way but now I'm so stressed that I've actually just wanted to be a lesbian this whole time and that I'm in denail and closeted. These thoughts are debilitating and now I can't look at women without being stressed or getting aroused.

is the worst and it’s so scary

I just can't stop feeling depressed and down. It's not really about anything in particular but I am just so depressed all the time. The small, rare periods where I feel genuinely happy I want to cling onto because I love how I feel in those times. But in general I am so down, just so not happy at all. I feel like I will never be truly happy no matter what. Then I think about how I am working towards my career goals and I'm like what's the point? Why am I doing this? What's the purpose. I'm just so unhappy.

I want to beat OCD/GAD? because I'm tired of being this shell of my former self. My brain has been hollowed out by the chainsaw of fears while my body remains fixed in place, unable to run. I once loved to sing and write. I once remembered conversations with others. I once was actually able to hold them myself. Now, I can barely complete coherent sentences without my thoughts veering off. My OCD leaves me exhausted. It's so hard to feel rested when you think something awful is going to happen all the time. I have started to affectionately call it Chicken Little Syndrome. However, it doesn't deserve any affection. I am supposed to be savoring the little songs my toddler sings or the jokes my husband cracks, but I am worrying about making ends meet or about inadvertently not being able to help my patients. Why did I have such issues with time management last shift? Why couldn't I focus on other simple tasks? People have shown me so much love and I can't even think of the proper way to respond, nevermind coming up with something clever, eloquent, or creative. I am a shell. A chainsaw of fear. My family is so good. They deserve to have me back.

Does OCD ever make it seem that if you follow your dreams, preferences and goals you will punished by God. I get that feeling a lot that God will punish me if I do and that I’m getting thoughts of God telling me to give up my desires and goals. It’s really stressing me out and getting me sad, anxious, disappointed and angry

I have germ OCD/Emetophobia, and death OCD. I just started Luvox, but my OCD and anxiety has me scared something bad will happen if I take it so I haven’t been consistent. It’s ruining my marriage..I feel guilt 24/7. Can anyone relate…

does anyone remember what their first experience with OCD felt like? im pretty sure i know the exact minute it happened. I was nine and my cousin was over for a sleep over, i remember she was on my bed watching a youtube video, and i was on the floor watching a youtube video. Then all of a sudden i got this horrible feeling it felt almost like deja vu? but i was terrified and i was so anxious i went and threw up. After that my mind was never the same, at the time i was so scared that i had been possessed because thats what i imagined it would feel/ look like, i became obsessed with the thought that i had become possessed. i kept asking my mom for reassurance that I hadn’t gotten possessed or had “made god angry.” im just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or if maybe that wasn’t OCD? Part of me still wonders if maybe i actually am possessed and i don’t have OCD even after 10 years. I obviously know thats not true but it’s always the “what if” ya know?

It’s as if I had a huge wave of realization that I actually am lesbian. Up until this point it was like part of me knew I wasn’t lesbian but now it feels like my body and mind is just accepting it, as if I’m too tired to fight it and the “proof” in my past is too much now. My mind is already putting scenarios in my head of how to tell my parents and the anxiety of having to tell my bf :( I don’t know what this is and I don’t know who I am anymore

i wish i could get diagnosed. i feel really guilty whenever i try to talk on this app because i think im faking it. i’ve done my research but what if it’s not real? what if i’ve just slowly shifted my habits into fitting the mold of the symptoms so im convinced i have it? i think it would make me a bad person to even think i have something that im not diagnosed for. and if i do get diagnosed and it turns out i dont have it, then i’ll be a horrible horrible person. i wish i could diagnosed. i dont want to deal with this ontop of every other thing my brain forces me to think about. i think im faking it everyday and it makes me so anxious i find it hard to breathe sometimes

Hey im Felix and I’m 20 years old. Ever since a couple of weeks I can’t get a certain thought out of my head. It started in a period where I got my heart broken and had to move around quite a bit due to family reasons and work, which was very stressful for me. I also started having some physical problems since then. The thought that is stuck in my head is that I ruined my life by smoking a joint in summer and will never be happy again. I feel like I deserve the OCD because of it and it will never go away. Did anyone experience something similar, please respond I’m desperate. All my love, Felix