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Is ocd always false? How do I deal with my coming thoughts "What if its real" then it would gave me an anxiety

When I was 15/16, I would talk to random strangers online in chatrooms. I was really lonely, moved to a strange city, and the pandemic had started during this time too. I thought it was funny to just mess around with people. But then it got weird. I would talk to people, tell them my name. I trusted some of them. It’s so embarrassing. I look back and realize a lot of those people were genuinely weirdos and idk why I was so gullible but. It all plays into my OCD. I keep thinking what if I talked to those people because I’m like them/will become like them. Why was I so stupid? What if I really wasn’t gullible and I knew better even though I know that I genuinely was sheltered and dumb asf because I was 15/16 and knew nothing about life?

Long story short, I have been dealing with OCD for the past two years due to trauma I developed from texting a guy I was not supposed to during my relationship with my partner of 2 years. Ever since, I have developed obsessions and fear towards men in general. 2 months ago today, I experienced something that has been one of the worst obsessions I have encountered. I went to the gym to cancel my membership. At the counter, I encountered a guy whom seemed very friendly and outgoing. By the start, I felt weirded out because I’m like okay this guy is friendly. I was being nice and chill without being so hard on myself. In the midst of me smiling to something the guy was saying, I get a thought of ‘ be friendly behind your boyfriends back’. I was terrified and that whole situation just felt wrong. Willingly, I told my partner and he tells me to move on and it’s okay. As an OCD person, I have tendencies of telling my boyfriend worst case scenario or being extra about stuff ( making things worse than what they are). Long story short, I have gotten over that situation. Now what I haven’t gotten over was from what I said. The day that this happened, I was telling my partner about this situation and looking back at our messages, I seen that I said the thought was about ‘ to flirt behind my boyfriends back’. Obviously that is unacceptable, especially if I said what if I smiled alittle more because of that. I remember a couple of weeks ago, I would scroll right pass this message and think to myself confidently ( I was overstretching that thought, it was about being friendly). Not until 2 weeks ago, I seen this doctor on a YouTube video who said you tend to remember a memory almost perfectly the very first time you recall it. So I’m like, I said that about the thought being flirtatious the day of and so am I going crazy. So yeah, ever since I seen that stupid video I have been overly examining trying to remember how the thought felt. Although I said that, I have some memory of overstretching and I also know that I recall the thought about being friendly not to flirt. Any help with learning how to trust yourself with memories? Do you guys think that it’s just silly ocd always putting doubt on everything? Please help!!!

Now I feel like one is imminent, I’m starting to really struggle and my anxiety is through the roof. I started Wegovy 4 weeks ago and also switched from combination birth control pill to the mini pill about the same time, I’m wondering if these changes are impacting my mental stability and triggering my OCD. I’m so scared, replaying real event (or false memory) things over and over again in my head again.

I deal with false memories, I’ve had a few that have been pretty bad, but normally I’ve been able to tell myself “hey, this is false.” I remembered something a few months ago, and a genuinely don’t know if it’s false? When I first remembered it, it never crossed my mind at all that it could be false. I just assumed it was entirely true. But now that I’ve been thinking about it, there is a possibility that it could be false. It supposedly took place last year during the fall or winter, I remembered it last august. It’s an extremely extremely specific scenario, and the memory is kinda complex. I also vaguely remember remembering it earlier, but it now affecting me that much? Although that could have just been having intrusive thoughts related to the subject. With my confusion on whether or not this memory is false of course comes my ocd shoving it’s way into everything. Something my brain has been telling me recently is “if the memory could be false then maybe only parts of it are and you’re actually just a terrible person” (that would make more sense if I explained the memory). And now I have to keep reminding myself that it’s either all true or it’s all fake, because our ocd would not produce the “better part” of the memory without producing the “worse part”.

My new physician who is evaluating me for OCD asked about if I hear voices. I immediately got anxious and still am 24 hours later. I am deathly afraid of going schizophrenic and losing my grip on reality so my intrusive thoughts are very much surrounded my sounds , imagining I’m hearing a voice , being hyperaware , or being afraid of silence. When I said no I do not have auditory hallucinations I then begin to tell myself that I was lying and I probably am having hallucinations but just sane enough to lie about it? I am in a cycle of self doubt and it is driving me nuts. Why can’t I just take my diagnosis for what it is? And believe it is the right one?

I downloaded this app yesterday hoping to find a bit of comfort among other people struggling with the same things. I’m really scared to post but I’m trying anyway. I have two really bad intrusive thoughts that make my life very difficult. One is this intrusive memory of when I was dog sitting when I 14. I was impatient so I pulled on the dogs leash (as his owner said I could tug on it and he would come). But he didn’t move and think I pulled way too hard and I’ve been wracked with guilt. This was 5 years ago and it still haunts me. I can hear the dog coughing and I think it was from me pulling too hard. About 6 months later he passed away and I fear greatly that something i did caused it even though he was old. In my head I wonder if I’m a truly evil person to hurt something smaller and less powerful than me. I didnt intend to hurt him but I worry I hurt him more than I know. It haunts me. I go over and over the memory in my head with seeing which parts are really, wondering if I’m evil. I also deal with POCD. I am in college currently but I feel like I’ve aged ten years since the onset of my symptoms. It’s taken my joy and innocence from me. I just want to live a good life and be a good person but my brain is malfunctioning. In addition I am frustrated bc my psychiatrist did not diagnose me with OCD but said all my symptom were due to GAD even though I meet all of the requirements including cycles of intrusive thoughts and compulsions( though mine are mostly mental). It’s difficult not having an official name for what I going through.

Hello everyone, I just started going to the university psychologist and she told me she is going to test me about having anxiety and stuff but I haven’t told her that I think I may have ocd and that I want her to tell me if the possibility is real and that I have ocd or not. I didn’t tell her because it was my first session and I don’t trust her enough for me to open and really talk about what is happening to me The issue is that, everyday I think i do better but then my mind thinks/ says/ makes me feel like something happened and I just didn’t realize, but the feeling is there On my session I met her and she met me, and at one point I told her that I have intrusive thoughts and the feeling that I have hurt people without realizing, but not remembering it, not feeling it, and she told me that intrusive thoughts are intrusive! Opposite to who I am, and that I shouldn’t be worrying about accidentally hurting people when I know deep inside I didn’t, and that if they get mad for nothing is their problem, not mine The issue is that, idk if someone else struggles with this but my real/false memories are not about “not remembering having told horrible things to your best friend two years ago” are about, “physically having hurt someone two seconds ago when I stretched my hand, even though I didn’t feel the hitting, I asked them if I got them hit and they said no, and that is impossible to my hand to reach the person because there is two meters of difference between us” Or maybe, another situation to example my fear Let’s say that someone is on the corner of a room. I enter the room and sit in the other opposite corner of the room, while I sit a vivid image of me traveling to the other corner of the room and slapping the person pops in my head and now I’m convinced that I hit the person even though I don’t remember standing up from the chair, walking to the corner and slapping the person, there is just the mental image and the feeling that I did it that convinces me that I did that and now I’m ashamed to the person I supposedly hit and I can’t look them into their eyes Idk if I explained myself (English is not my maternal language) but I really, really don’t know if someone is having the same “intrusive false memories” that are immediately and that makes you have 0 trust in your senses

I think I realized (probably too late) that I’m scared of losing myself to one of these themes. I’m not sure if it’s like this for everyone but sometimes when I have intrusive thoughts it slowly erodes my own sense of self. Intrusive thoughts become so muddied and virtually indistinguishable from my own. I have this idea of myself that all of my intrusive thoughts go entirely against, and I’m afraid I won’t be me anymore. I am trying to practice more self love, and more self care in general. I’m trying here. To gain a self esteem, to not be in control but to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty confused on almost everything now to the point where I just don’t even know anymore. Every positive thought turns into a bad one such as finding out people in denial tend to avoid thinking about it completely, made me feel pretty good but now it’s telling me that’s how I think. I’ve been having false attraction, feeling sick to stomach, can’t stop thinking, feeling like I’m lying to myself, feeling numb, the only emotion I can feel is being scared the more real this feels. I’m extremely worried that this is becoming true and that I am gay. The only thing I have left is what I want, which is to marry the girl I am with one day, that brings me a good feeling. Anyways, what are some methods of being able to tell what’s real and what’s not when everything is leaning towards being gay besides what I want?

Where shall I go therapist or police, I’m convinced I raped somebody but nothings came of it

I’m due to give birth to my first child this month, and I’ve been able to control my thoughts up to this point. But lately I’ve been having this intrusive thought where my baby is not actually my husband’s, even though I’ve never been unfaithful. I keep thinking, “What if I cheated and am blocking out the memory?” Or, “What if my daughter is a different race than ours because I slept with someone else?” I’ve been trying to work through this thought but have been failing miserably. I just want to enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy… thoughts or opinions?

I feel I r*ped someone so people felt sorry for me, what is wrong with me

im just losing my mind... im so scared of minors lying about their age online... i dont go on dating apps, and I was on an NSFW discord server (with age verification) and literotica, a chat site where you have to be 18+ to access the chat and the site... Im so scared and anxious of unknowingly messaging minors online when i dont ever want to... I havent been on these places in a while... but im so so so scared of minors lying about their age... it honestly just terrifies the everloving crap out of me... i dont ever want to ever be involved with men or minors in any way... god im so so scared... i dont have reasons to doubt most. The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 later on and many times beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if they were lying or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end...

Is it common with OCD to have intrusive thoughts that are delusional in nature and disturbing because you realize that they’re delusional?

My ocd always makes me think the worst and tells me that the only explanation for things is that I did something horrible. I had an incident years ago that has made my life miserable. I guess it’s a real event and possibly false memory as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I put my daughter on the school bus and went back upstairs to my room and he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something so horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd brings it back up and tells me maybe I was drinking and did something to him and just don’t remember. People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these kinds of situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do and say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes me believe I did something horrible and makes me hate myself and living. 😞

I’m crying as I’m typing this and drinking because my ocd has convinced me I raped my friend 5 times. She doesn’t believe me. It’s because she was asleep for 4 out of the 5 times and it’s killing me. It’s strangling me that I might’ve done these heinous acts. I feel sick to my stomach. I’m scared I’m so scared because I DONT WANT TO RAPE ANYONE. And my brain is telling me I did it and I believe my brain I believe it I believe it happened and I’m scared I’m so scared please please please help me I’m so scared

I cry everyday thinking of things. Please help and share if this is truly what OCD does. I keep thinking in my past I was pregnant. I remember being paranoid but i do not remember taking a pregnancy test. Ocd keeps putting things in my head such as “you did a pregnancy test” or “you had a miscarriage” I tell my mom this and she is my biggest supporter but I feel like I was because i’m starting to believe it and give up.

How can you tell the difference between actual memories and false memory OCD? I try to do this but every time I do it my mind wonders off

2 years ago I worked at a store for only 3 days. It was a family owned business that does a lot of events for wedding showers, baby showers, birthdays etc. I knew of this family from a private school I went to for one year in high school but did not know they owned this family business. I went to school with the daughter who was a couple of years older than me. She was the popular girl in school and is beautiful. Her dad and older sister owns the business and she also works there. The owner hired me because at that time, I was aspiring to become a florist and was making floral arrangements that she was interested in her business. When I had started the job, I was doing outside work. Not floral work that I thought I would be doing. I noticed that me, and two other women were doing all the outside work while everybody else was inside talking and laughing all together at the coffee bar. I thought to myself.. “we are doing the hard work while the family and friends get to have fun.” I got really defensive over it and called my mom. She told me I needed to tell the owner (the oldest daughter who hired me) how I felt…and so I did. But what I wanted to say came out all jumbled and didn’t really make any sense - I couldn’t get my point across because I became so overwhelmed in the moment. The owner started talking down to me.. like if I was a child and that how “everyone has different rolls and positions so some people work outside and some stay inside.” I knew this. But it was the fact that the three of us we were working so hard outside and I come in for one minute and see a group of women having a full on conversation and laughing at the coffee bar doing nothing to help the actual business. Now, I shouldn’t have assumed this, but I couldn’t help but think it wasn’t fair. I got really upset, picked up my floral arrangements that I had made for them and walked out abruptly. I couldn’t stop thinking over that day. I emailed the owner and said I was sorry for walking out. I got no answer. A few days after, I felt like I needed to return my t-shirts. I folded them neatly and walked in and the beautiful sister I went to school with was at the front desk. I told her I wanted to return these shirts and asked if she could please tell her older sister that I was sorry. I also noted that I had really bad anxiety. She gave me a very uninvited face and said “I will let her know”. I said thank you and walked out. I could feel her watching me leave and felt so bad about myself. 2 years go by and recently, like couple of months ago, I went BACK because all this time I had been thinking about that day. My OCD thinks I constantly need to apologize and that I’m always wrong for my actions. When I walked in, the popular girl I went to school with was there with one of the girls that I originally worked with outside. I asked if I could please talk to her sister. She said “My sister only comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays.” … that day was a Thursday. So I just asked her if she could please tell her sister that I was sorry again. I constantly replay that day. I constantly compare myself to the girl I went to school with. I constantly feel like I did something wrong…. Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed they were doing nothing. Maybe I should apologize to the sister again. I can’t even make floral arrangements anymore because I feel that the flowers are associated and contaminated with the store and the people. I loved gardening and because part of the business was a garden or for people to buy plants, I feel like I can’t like flowers or gardening anymore. When I drive past the building I can’t help but think. I think about them all the time. About how much I messed up! I overreacted and maybe I deserved to be talked down to. I constantly compare myself to the girl i went to school with. I convince myself that I constantly need to apologize even tho it was 2 years ago. Even though I know there has been way worse that has happened to me or even to other people, this is the day I can’t get out of my head and I don’t know why. Sometimes, I even convince myself that I have the incident wrong.. like I forgot a big part of the situation and I’m way worse of person in the story than I think I am.. even though I already blame myself for it all. What if that job would have been an amazing opportunity if I just wouldn’t have said anything. Maybe they really were just having a short conversation and headed out when 5 minutes after. I do take medication but sometimes I feel so hopeless and immensely down about life because of this. So many of these unwanted thoughts about these people I really even barely know.. sometimes it’s hard to even think I’m actually living anymore. SO SO sorry this so long.