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I held the container that contains the coffee grinds over the garbage an even though I know it didn't hit the garbage I keep thinking it could have hit the garbage. Any thoughts or help from those who share contamination OCD?

I know it’s pitiful for me asking for help but idk what to do. Ever since I did something bad like a few months ago (check my recent post for backstory!if you want) I felt so much guilt and then started looking back at my past and feeling guilty about that stuff then I started thinking what if I s@d my 4yr old cousin or 2 yr old cousin and it feels real like it actually happened like I actually remember it but I can’t remember it if that makes sense and I’ve never been diagnosed with ocd which makes it scarier I’m starting to think I did do that I mean the thought feels like it’s on the tip of my nose if I keep searching it’ll appear in my memory. I felt so much guilt and fear of what will happen if it turned out true I tried to commit by doing 0v3rd0se but it only made my memory fuzzy of what happened when I was overdosing and it made my guilt worse cause my cousins were over and my thoughts amplified since I barely remember what happened my mind told me I probably s@d them when I was overdosing (this was yesterday) and it sucks cause I can’t ask my baby cousins if I did or not they probably don’t remember at all or even thought it was bad what if I traumatized them what if they commit cocsa because of me I’m a monster.

What do you do? When you want to leave it all because you’re afraid you’ll hurt people

i have been doing clinical ketamine treatments for over a year and a half now and am curious anyone else’s experience. i have found that my depression and ocd can really feed off one another (obsessions triggering depressive episodes, depressive episodes being the perfect breeding ground for rumination, etc.). because of this, i believe treating my depression in turn supports my ocd treatment. does anyone else notice this relationship between co-occurring mood disorders? or has anyone had experience with ketamine? would love to hear from you guys ❤️

I may have brushed up against my bed with my outside clothes on. Will this contaminate my bed? Also has anyone else felt that they had breathing problems from spraying excessive Lysol?

Hey guys, I’ve recently had a relapse in my OCD. I felt like coming on and maybe sharing some of my events so maybe it will help someone feel a little less alone and to get some advice. I have ROCD and Harm OCD. My harm OCD started at 16 years old, I was shown a disturbing video in class one time.. My teacher was supposed to show us the animated version but she showed us the real version. It was truly terrifying. Following that, i started having intrusive thoughts.. of things I would absolutely never want to do. I didn’t know what intrusive thoughts were at the time. I struggled with feeling so alone, crazy.. and so on. I was too afraid to tell anyone because i thought people would think i’m crazy because I thought I did. I finally reached out to my dad about it and he welcomed me with open arms. He told me about his anxiety journey and that he has had anxiety all of his life. Following that I went to the doctor, my doctor started me on Zoloft. I was on that for 2 years and my anxiety improved tremendously. After 2 years I decided to stop taking it due to weight gain, and that I felt better and didn’t struggle with my anxiety or intrusive thoughts anymore. I met my now Fiancé and my OCD transferred into ROCD. I obsessed and worried every single day that he was going to leave me for the past year and a half. Once he proposed, my worries went away, I guess my mind was proven that he wasn’t going to leave. So it went away. A couple of weeks later after we got engaged, I got triggered. I was on a trip with my future in laws and his father brought a g*n. I started having intrusive thoughts about harming them or myself. Had a very bad panic attack. I have been struggling since. I avoid the kitchen, tell my fiancé to put away knives… I feel the need to isolate but at the same time I don’t want to be alone. I have thoughts about the people that are close to me and that I love. Which makes it so much worse. I finally decided to share my story after an extremely rough night last night. I woke up in the middle of the night, had a HUGE panic attack due to my thoughts. Every single time I have a thought I panic, I feel butterflies in my stomach, start to uncontrollably shake..my brain gets so loud and I feel nothing but like straight fear. It’s like my body and brain reacts as if it’s trying to run away from itself but I can’t escape my head. Which in a way makes me feel better because i think “oh well i’m scared as crap of these thoughts which means i don’t want to do them”. It kind of keeps me going because i know real people who have these thoughts enjoy them… but of course my anxiety and ocd goes “well how do you know you don’t enjoy them” and I just go down a rabbit hole. Then if I have a thought, and i don’t get scared over it.. I get scared that I didn’t get scared. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I just pray that they go away, I even get scared that with Zoloft i’m like “what if they don’t go away because it’s really what you want”. My brain is on high alert, everything is a trigger. My fiancé has been an absolute rock star and has helped me through every second of it. He is my biggest supporter and so understanding. Then I’ll have intrusive thoughts about him! I’m just at a place right now where I could use some hope. I want my zoloft to get rid of them completely. This has been so crippling. Im on day 4 of Zoloft, I know it isn’t working yet. If anyone has any advice, suggestions, or literally just anything. I would appreciate so so much.

How can I tell the difference between real urges and ocd screwing with me? I wake up in the morning and the first thing that happens is I start seeing harm images/thoughts. But now it’s starting to feel like I want those things, even though I don’t. Like it just feels like normal thoughts because I’m consciously thinking of them and it feels like my brain or body wants me to do these awful things. I know in my heart and my “normal” brain that this is not something I’d want, but it still is the first thing I see in the morning and I’m really starting to question how I actually feel. And if it will ever leave. Is that normal for this??? How do any of you ever tell the difference between these at this point?

Hi all. I’m the girl who’s posted on here before about severe intrusive thoughts about her dog. It’s getting worse and I need someone to help me figure out if this has crossed the point of harm OCD into dangerous, check yourself into a psych ward territory. Please help me. The last few days, the urges/images have gotten stronger and are EXTREMELY gruesome and violent. I don’t want to trigger anyone but like…images of myself literally hacking my dog in half with a knife, pulling her apart, etc. It’s always her head and neck. I still know in my heart I don’t want to hurt her, but I feel like I’m going to. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s like it’s going to happen and I’m just the vessel it’s going to happen with. I haven’t slept in days, especially not last night, because she was on my legs and I literally felt like if I didn’t move her I was going to do these horrible things to her. I’m living in a basically safe house with my family with nothing sharp or anything yet I still feel like I’m going to brutally harm her. Please help me. This is getting worse and DOES NOT feel like it’s “fake” urges. What do I do? I want her to be safe and I don’t trust myself at all.

I have ROCD. Right now I’m been in my head for a while. It has really kicked in now that we are going to talk to a lawyer about setting a will and trust up for us. I’m 60 years old. I am battling with the thoughts that do I really love my wife and should I leave. I picture myself trying to tell her and I break down into tears. I go back and forth with should I leave or go. In the past I used to look forward to seeing her come home from work or talk on the phone with her. Now at times I get triggered by it. At times I feel like running. Especially now. Does ROCD do this to you? Can it really make you think and feel that you don’t love your spouse?

I have been feeling off lately ever since I got a new temporary jib through the agency. I was cleaning and had a housekeeping job, I took the job because I was desperate. Anyways, An ugly lady I don't like bumped into me with my arms / - shoulders and my mind can't get rid of this intrusive thoughts I'm so annoyed with myself. The only thing that will help me is get a massage. I've been depressed since I my thoughts are reminding me of this and I unfortunately do not have a lot of money to get a massage right now. Since I can't solve my problem at the moment I have felt/fallen into a deep depression and I have no more energy because of it and my thoughts. As well as financial anxiety. Uggg! FUCK! I hate having ocd. It's driving me nuts! Also, that since my thoughts are also thinking that the germs are getting everywhere. My mind is going nuts and my ocd has been acting up a lot. I'm also tired of life. I also have been having a bit of a negative mindset thanks to my fogged up mind and depression thanks to all of this. I really hate people with moles. Sorry it just grosses me out and fucks up my mindset when somebody I don't like bumps into me. Help! I need advice!

Hi everyone! I was recently diagnosed with OCD after realizing my anxiety wasn’t generalized and learning that compulsions aren’t always visual/physical. I’m curious what compulsions you have/had that you didn’t realize were compulsions until you were diagnosed? For example, learning about rumination, reassurance seeking, and picking at skin as compulsions has been really eye-opening to me!

Hi I know I’ve ranted about this a few times and I know I shouldn’t but I’m panicking idk what to do. Just saw this Tik Tok and the comments were saying that my relationship (year 12 girl and y11 boy with year and a half age difference is not okay). We’ve been dating nearly four months, two months before his 16th which I told myself “the age difference isn’t gonna change, as long you do nothing sexual its neither legally or morally wrong” and now the worry has switched to “it’s not legally wrong but is it morally wrong?” especially after seeing this Tik Tok. It talked about how girls mature faster than boys as well but I thought that was kinda a myth tbh (apparently it’s not although it fluctuates with exceptions). And before I started dating him I checked with basically everyone in my life that they thought the age gap was normal which they said it was and that it was nothing. We’ve been best friends for a while btw so the feelings developed naturally, I took the risk of my OCD flaring up because I loved him but then at times like this comes the worry that I’m hurting him, an idea that terrifies me. There’s no noticeable maturity difference between us at all and we work together doing drama and film stuff all the time (we’re both actors). Any opinions? I don’t want to give up something that’s both making us happy over something that could be the result of a chronically online opinion.

is there anyone who can talk I really just need someone who can maybe leave some insight about the specific issue im having I'm so scared and everything is too vague and it's important

A different type of title, I know. ☕ ☀️ Little bit of a read, but hopefully adds some positivity out there by the end. Here's the thing, I used to get up EVERY morning with excitement and experiment with different types of coffee or flavors. It was a joy to just make it. I would never mind if I made a bad brew, just learned from it. It was an activity that made me happy, arguably a routine that made me whole. Since being diagnosed with OCD (rOCD sub category) 3-4 weeks ago that morning activity fell apart. It suddenly became hard to get up, followed by a longing to "go back" or like a "last saved point". Long story short, tragically the French press that made me feel like "me" lost its glitter and glam. All the stresses of rOCD and happiness ROBBED me of experiencing this small and simple joy in my life that isn't even the focus of my ERP. Over the last few weeks I have been feeling better after taking my first few sessions. Healed, cured, completely treated? No. Absolutely not. On the journey to recovery? Yes. Absolutely so! So what does this French press have to do with anything? Well, I'm making a point to try and reconnect my happiness by making it today, even if it doesn't always feel comfortable or "the same." Why? Because I'm making a stand. I'm refusing to let OCD try and live IT'S life when I want to live MY life instead! I don't want it to win, nor do I want it to take any further steps in telling me not to experience happiness. Especially ones I used to enjoy! I'm GOING to make that French press coffee as soon as this is posted and BELIEVE I can have a good day. I don't care if I fall down, relapse, get stressed, have anxiety, get into an argument, panic, have intrusive thoughts etc. etc. etc later today OR if I already did have those things happen! All that matters is at this moment I go do what I WANT to do, not what OCD tells me to do. I'm going to make the French press coffee because that's what I LOVED doing. WHAT'S THE POINT?: If there is something that you used to appreciate doing no matter how small or big and it brought a sense of identity or peace - you don't have to let OCD tell you that you can't do it. Even if it may not feel the same anymore, I know deep down I like making French press coffee. I'm tired of having OCD anxieties ruin that morning routine. Maybe there's something out there you did for peace or fun before OCD took hold of you? Just know you're not alone. I'm not a doctor or anything, just a man trying to get back his life and wants to fight for it. Don't be afraid to try and reconnect some of that positive "former self" that brought peace to you. If this resonated with you, I hope you find your strength to do that small but meaningful thing that makes you happy. You can do it. We can do it. Thank you. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go make that French press coffee. ☕🙂

My gf and I broke up (I initiated), and decided to go no contact for a little bit until my ROCD is settled down and u tik I make a decision as to whether or not we should get back together. But I’m not sure if I broke up with her because if genuine issues in our relationship or if my rocd was getting to be too much so I figured breaking up with her was the easiest route to stop the rocd thoughts. How do I know if my thoughts about my gf and I breaking up are real versus rocd thoughts? I feel good right now (being broken up) but I’m thinking that’s because it is my rocd thoughts have gone away bc I’m not in a relationship anymore. I would always question if we were meant to be together and would get worried when I recognized that I found someone else attractive. Please help, I don’t know what to do.

Im having such a hard time trying to figure out if l'm bi or lesbian while IN a relationship with my boyfriend l'm so confused someone please give me some perspective I'm desperate to just feel okay in my relationship again without feeling guilty or confused about if I'm truly attracted to my partner or men in general. l'm questioning everything.

Please someone leave any advice or similar stories. I had identified as bi and then had fears about my sexuality a few years ago, and decided on the term unlabeled to describe my sexuality to anyone who asked and it made me the most comfortable because i was confused about my romantic atraction and sexual attraction towards women vs men. Recently, seemingly triggered by pride month and people discussing comp het, while in a relationship with my boyfriend I have been dealing with fears of wondering if I'm really attracted to men at all or what attraction really feels like and being sexually aroused by explicit images of women I had seen by accident. I am worried that I am experiencing comp het or I'm in the wrong relationship or I'm going to hurt my boyfriend. I have also voiced all of this to him and he is there for me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have other anxieties about my relationship and worry if those are ocd related or not as well(such as worrying about limerence) but I'm just so terrified. I feel that just because I have ocd that doesn't mean I can have these experiences that other queer people actually have and it makes me worried that I coukd go years without ever knowing just for one day to know and my whole world to be flipped upside down. I'd rather die than for that to be my reality. Someone please leave advice or tips it's all so appreciated.

I’ve only been in ERP therapy for a few weeks. Recently I feel frustrated like it’s not working. I know I probably need to give it more time and that it may take quite a while but I’m looking for advice here. My therapist is doing a good job but I feel like I need to be doing different exposures. Right now we’re working on things more specific for someone with triggers like putting a belt around my neck, holding my gun in my lap all while saying I’m going to kill myself or I’m going to shoot myself. I don’t have specific triggers though. Mine are more mental and I feel like I need exposures that are going to help me because I constantly say “I’m going to kill myself” or just “kill myself.” Does this make sense?

Does anyone have any good book recommendations with characters who have OCD? I know Turtles All The Way Down is a very popular choice, and I do love the book as well as John Green himself, but I would love more options. I am also open to nonfiction book recommendations about varying topics around OCD (such as how to better handle OCD, the authors experience with OCD firsthand, understanding the inner workings of OCD, and more).

Every time I talk to my bf I feel worse, but when I’m not talking to him I feel fine. I don’t know what to do. I keep obsessing over everything he says and the way he sounds, and the way he acts. I feel like I don’t like him anymore. It’s all so confusing. I’m so scared of hurting him. Looking back I’m pretty sure that I was experiencing ROCD or relationship anxiety, but now I’m worried that it’s morphed into real feelings. I’m so scared. I’m so worried. I cry almost every day. I’m so tired of it all