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Is anyone's pocd so severe thst being around children of sny age gives you groinal response. Not only that but extremely sexual intrusive thoughts and phrases that are foul. Like there's no way this is just ocd.

Guys I need help issues I've been going through and I honestly need help because if I was masturbating earlier today and it's felt like I purposely thought of my father why it's just I don't know why I just did and I feel so weirded out by it it's just like my thought just starting you know I don't know how to explain it it was just that was doing it and then my brain just focused on that instead my for some reason like it felt like I chose to think it's I am sorry if I'm not explaining it well but I feel like a weirdo and I don't want to be near my family anymore like I've been going through a lot and this is just horrible it's just like I chose to thank the thought and it felt like I wanted it and I feel so weird at all if someone had the same issue please let me know I just want to know I'm not alone in this it's not even that I also had sexuality issues because recently I've been down a spiral of looking at transgender and feminine men content and it's just like confusing for me I think it's just because my brain makes association of men that just made me think of my dad because I'm 18 and young and I'm on explorer myself so after I do it to be so types I honestly just feel shame and regret I don't think I am gay at least not that I know because afterwards I don't really like it but I just feel shame when I do it but also I feel so horrible because it felt like I thotght it on purpose like it's just I don't know how to explain it I just thought it and now I'm afraid

I’m not looking for reassurance with this post, but I am looking for community because I do feel very alone. I am currently struggling with incest OCD, at least I think I am. I had had intrusive thoughts for a while, but it never really stuck. Then for some reason one day it’s stuck. And I was absolutely horrified to tell my new therapist about it as she is not an OCD specialist and I didn’t know if she would understand. I am kind of forced to see this family member often and have always been super super close with them. However, for the past couple months, I have been struggling with this family member as I feel of, so they’ve been very controlling in my life and I want to live my life away from them. I want to live my own life, but I still want them in my life as they are very important to me. So would have this theme, but the theme wouldn’t last very long because then I’d be forced to interact with this family member basically as exposure and the theme would kind of fade away because it felt stupid. Well, I went on a date with a guy and suddenly I had the fear of what if this person looks like this family member. From there, this sphere has absolutely plummeted and destroyed me to the point where I actually think it’s true. I cannot tell if I am distressed because I am worried that this fear is true or if I am distressed because it is true. I went on a trip with my family, including his family member last week and the first few days of the trip. I was not very nice to this family member as I did not want to be around them and I wanted to avoid them. However, after a few days, I felt very stupid. I felt like I was no longer consumed by the sphere and basically like I had done exposure therapy again. So naturally, I felt extremely guilty for how I had acted the first couple days of the trip and to make up for it. I let this family member have a bite of my sandwich to which I then became worried that I had basically made out with this family member because Now our mouth germs had touched because I gave them a bite of my sandwich. I have been forcefully, putting images of sexual activity with this family member, and into my brain to see how I might react to them. For a very long time over the past couple months when I did this, I did not like the image. Now when I do this, I cannot tell it says, though I have no reaction like I don’t care which makes me fear even more that it’s true. However, I’m not distressed in the same way that I feel that I have been with them in the past. Part of this could be due to medication. But it does make this theme seem different. To circle back to this family member being very controlling. It is one of my parents, who was very strict when I was growing up. However, I absolutely idolize this parent and lately with a bunch of conversations with different friends, have realized that I have an extreme codependency on this parent that I really want to break. I do not know how codependency and incest coincide or even how codependency and OCD might coincide. But I feel like oh well is not working because there is a much bigger issue at hand that I do not know how to resolve. If anyone has any advice, I would love to hear it. I’m not convinced that this is OCD. A lot of stuff I’m finding on the Internet says that it is OCD. But the distress feels different, maybe because of medication or codependency? I don’t know if I’m numb or if I’ve just accepted it. Again, I am not looking for reassurance, but maybe some community maybe somebody who’s been through through something similar or even just some advice. Advice for if it’s OCD and maybe even advice for maybe if it is real?

+18 So yesterday, I was playing with some friends on a video game server, it's a server where people usually play around on as dinosaurs but then a certain individual who was known as a child joined. Truthfully, I was irritated with this individual and it became annoying to even be in their presence, but I had began to question myself if I was creepy or acting like one of THOSE people, I began to spiral and Google frantically until I got a memory? Truth be told, I don't know if this memory actually happened or not, but it scared me nonetheless. It was a memory of me playing the video game and I was aroused and it felt pleasurable and enjoyable in the moment, I didn't immediately panic or anything, it wasn't just the arousal that made me feel like I liked it but also my feelings. After I "remembered" that memory, I began to spiral terribly to the point I had to get off my PC and keep myself onto my bed out of fear I'd act on my thoughts. I can't be for certain if this memory is true or not, but it genuinely felt like in that moment that I was enjoying the feeling and the thought, it was sexually intrusive in nature yes, but I didn't panic immediately afterwards! I only panicked hours later, I could use some advice or explanation to what the hell this is all about. Please and thank you

I was going share a soda with my fam member. I do not usually drink soda but i decided to say yes today. I randomly got a thought while waiting for her to bring a can that said "this kinda reminds me as if you were to withhold doing the deed (inappropriate) and you finally said yes and shes all excited" I was about to say no to the thought bc it gave me anxiety. I felt a deep pit in my stomach that felt very uncomfortable but felt no pleasure, no arousal, no happiness, but it confused me bc it felt weird bc no panic and i was trying to figure out what it meant. Then i said "wait no. I do like this thought. I want to keep thinking this in the future and would miss it if it leaves." And it felt like i meant it but when i said that answer it ALSO felt wrong and i felt confused and nervous. Then ocd said "you sexualized her. You want to keep doing that in the future. You literally just admitted it. You also admitted you are attracted to her." And i immediately started to spiral bad and regretted saying that. Why did i say that?! Like 6 hours i was doing all sorts of compulsions and crying and having panic attacks and trembling. And then all night I was awake and couldnt sleep. I felt so guilty, like why did I agree with that thought for a few seconds? It wasnt an intrusive thought when **I** said "no wait i do like it?" But it still felt wrong and confusing and i was nervous bc I still felt the pit in my stomach! Did I sexualize her??? And do i want to think of her in thay way? Am i attracted to her??? Im so scared its all I can think about and I cant eat, sleep, or think about anything else!

I can't anymore! The anxiety is so bad my hands are trembling and I felt like throwing up. I feel like i admitted something. I felt like I agreed! Me and my fam member were gonna share a soda. I dont normally drink soda, so my fam member was excited and happy. I got a random thought that said that this thought is like when people withhold doing the deed with their partners and that she was acting like an excited bf and that i was basically acting like that with her but in terms of sharing soda. I felt anxiety in my gut but it felt confusing. I was about to say no like normal but then I voluntarily said "yknow what? I like it. Im going to think this in the future and ima miss the thoughts" idk why I said that but i think i meant it but something made me feel uneasy and like my stomach was still hurting from anxiety... but I rmemeber i was questioning the anxiety in my gut bc I thought that it was pleasure. I was confused about it and said that. But I felt like I said something wrong. And literally moments later I regretted having said that and started to spiral especially when ocd said I sexualized them and wanted to keep sexualizing her. I have been spiraling for 6 hours nonstop! And im trembling rn and I was crying. I had a panic attack. Is this still ocd?! Did I sexualize her???

I feel like I have a good 10 “scenarios” I go over majority of the time and a few of them are Pocd related. It’s always based off memory which turns into a what if I did this. For example me being in a car alone with a friends kid then what if I done this, what if I done that etc. It’s funny because at the time I remember ringing my friends as I wanted “proof” nothing happened as I was on the phone. Yet in true ocd fashion I look at the moments before I rang my friends - something could have happened then. I don’t talk to that friend anymore so couldn’t even try and get some sort of reassurance there.. This isn’t my main theme but it’s up there. How does anyone handle this? Surely “maybe it did, maybe it didn’t” helps. That’s awful…

does anyone else experience this… "lost" or "empty" feeling after decreasing of anxiety and fear? the last 3 months i’ve been struggling with pocd + harm ocd + existential ocd and i felt terrible but those feelings and thoughts fuelled my productivity (because of the fear of this hell to never end) and so i practiced meditation, studied a lot (to distract myself i guess), and always have been busy with something. and now, around a week ago, the thoughts got quieter and anxiety feels much less severe. and i know that i have to feel relieved but instead i feel… empty. these thoughts were all i had been thinking about these 3 months and now i feel very weird because i don’t know what to do now. it feels like l have built my entire personality around ocd and now, as it faded away, i feel almost nothing. i feel so very unproductive (and therefore guilty) and without any purpose in life. i’ve spent these 3 months fighting but now it seems pointless and exaggerated (like as i made it all up). so yeah. it may sound very confusing as english is not my first language but i hope you understood my point

It’s 4:30 am lol My brain is spinning a bit I’ll say Idk I keep worrying I don’t feel enough or I’m not excited enough to be with my partner long term. I’m worried I’m only thinking of him as a means to an end/an obligation. But it’s not Yes part of me wants to live with him so I can get out of my dorm but I wanna live with him cuz I love him and he’s fun. I hate when he has to go home and he can’t stay over. I want him to stay here with me. Cuddle all night. Idk the lack of butterflies makes my brain panic. The fact I’m not excited all the time makes my brain panic Makes it worry I’d be better off with someone else- another man? A woman? I get nauseous at the thought of either. I get nauseous around him too so idk what’s real. I kinda do tho? Looking at him makes me feel safe and warm but my body keeps making me nauseous when I don’t want to be. I try not to focus on it but it keeps coming back It makes everything so confusing. I just know I want him. That’s it. I don’t care about anyone else romantically. I’m scared thatll change. That at 60 I’ll drop everything for someone else. I don’t want to. I don’t feel warm and fuzzy telling him I love him- is that normal? It still feels nice to say it and to hear it. I think we’re so used to saying it to each other. Same goes for nicknames lol. No warm and fuzzy feelings when he calls me honey or habibti (he speaks Arabic lol) but I still love it. It feels surreal that we’ve been together almost 2 years. Idk. I’m worried I’m not happy enough about that but I cry tears of joy thinking about how far we’ve come and how far we have yet to go. I love running my hands through his hair. Recently I’ve been overthinking touching him. I avoid the pec area a lot cuz I’m worried if I touch it I’ll think of women. It’s never made me uncomfortable before but now it does. Which is annoying. I’m kinda trying to re integrate ig? I’m worried I’m touching him wrong or smthn. It’s never bothered me before but with my recent soocd it’s kinda tripping me the fuck up yknow??? I adore him. I love his body. He’s hot. He’s funny. He’s got nice muscles. He’s soft. Warm. Why am I suddenly feeling weird about certain parts? Is this normal in ocd? Hopefully someone takes the time to read all of this I genuinely do love him but I’m so worried I’m actually a liar and repulsed by his body. The first time I saw him shirtless all I wanted to do was run my hands all over him. Hold him close. Clearly I am not a lesbian. Now I still do, just not in an aggressively horny way like when we first got together LOL. It’s still horny, when we get going, yay responsive desire. But most of the time it’s just touching and cuddling. Idk I feel like I’m going crazy

this theme is legit the worst. i hate that i’m pulling away from people i love and isolating myself because of this. i just want the worries and doubts to go away but idk how to sit with it when it feels so convincing. how am i supposed to accept uncertainty on something that goes completely against my morals and something i couldn’t live with if it were true? why do false attraction and groinals feel so damn real sometimes and how am i supposed to know the difference? i just feel scared to open up about this and confirming my worst fears.

I'm so scared at the idea of ERP because I feel like I'm lying to myself. Which I know is textbook but I feel like I have urges to think about these sexually explicit images for my own gratification. Which is so strange because I tell myself I don't want that. I love my girlfriend. And I know I don't want these things to happen but I'm scared that I want the thoughts. And that the whole concept of thinking about them intentionally will result in me enjoying them and wanting them. I want this to be over. I feel terrible every day but that doesn't mean I'm innocent. Anyone have any advice on how to tackle ERP with this in mind. I want this to end.

I was petting a dog and my brain sexualized it but I continued. I didn’t do anything wrong to the dog and I never would but it’s like I still mentally indulged even tho it’s still not me as a person?? Unless it is bc I still indulged ? Help!

I go to art school and am taking this one illustration class with a pretty famous illustrator. He's one of my favorite professors, I respect him a lot and want him to like me. We were sketching in class and I threw out a quick thumbnail sketch — really rough and not entirely thought through, just to get the idea out. The article was about telling the truth to kids in history classes, so I started thinking of the Washington cherry tree myth — I had a hand off screen handing a cherry to a child, and was going to have a dark, rotting cherry tree in the background. I just threw out the sketch in two seconds and moved onto the next; I wasn't thinking about it too much. My prof then came over and he made some comments about the other sketches I did. He then said about that sketch, "I don’t wanna be a creep but having a little girl and a cherry…” and then it clicked and now I feel so fucking terrible and I feel like he thinks im a pedo. I know I'm not, but I've just been spiraling and feeling so gross and terrible about myself. God ugh.

18+ UPDATE: I genuinely feel so triggered and anxious... I'm gonna go to sleep right now, but I genuinely dont think I'll be able to ever be able to look my friends and family in the eye if this is true... Oh dear god... I dont know... but I think my worst fears came true... I think I unknowingly ERP'ed with a minor on an 18+ discord server 5 years ago... they currently are on Astralspiff's discord, having been there since 2023, and have switched their username, with a chicken emoji as their bio... they also switched their profile picture from Nana Osaki to a fan art of Kasame Teto... its making me think that these three things are certainties that she was a minor on the 18+ sexual server... and that I ERP'ed with her not knowing this... Im genuinely feeling shocked and sick to my stomach right now... they don't have their age listed on discord or anything, but they joined 5 years ago and it was 4 years ago that we ERP'ed... god I feel disgusted and horrified right now... someone talk to me... please.... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it... i genuinely just feel hopeless...

I didn't sleep all night because of anxiety. I hate this so much. Then that gives me even more anxiety because I'm not sleeping. Then the anxiety gets so bad that I end up relapsing to porn. So I didn then while doing so I used a game to get a collection of attractive women but one of them was dressed like this character from an anime who is 14. But she looks nothing like the character, she looks like a normal attractive adult woman but I feel awful now knowing that the cosplay was somewhat going for this character and she is the same name as this character. I feel terrible. I hate this shit. I hate that this keeps happening to me. I just want to get good sleep again. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I try deep breathing and the thoughts just get louder. I hate this

Having really bad anxiety that has caused me not to sleep at all and I relapsed to adult content and saw sexual content in a game that has a female character dressed as an anime character that I didn't know and went with it but then I realized that character is 14 when though in the game it just looks like a grown woman dressed like the character somewhat. Now I feel even worse and I just can't deal with this anymore

Remembering some dumb stuff I have seen online or some dumb stuff I found and honestly I would say to someone else they mean nothing bad about that someone but my ocd is here “hmmm see evidence that you are a ped… or that you were one”. How do I deal with this?

Crazy how 4 months ago I didn’t remember any of the memories I worry ab now (esp the one I posted ab a couple of days ago) and now it’s all I can think about. I feel like i’m just in some serious denial, there’s too much proof. That memory just makes it even worse. Ik it’s been gone for years but i just want my attraction/libido back. Like FULLY back. Prior to SOOCD I would literally foam at the mouth looking at boy bands Ik that has to mean something 😭. I found my boyfriend attractive before the numbness and ocd took over again. I’m just so tired. I hope the meds make things easier for me. I’m so worried that I’ll have to breakup with my bf if this continues. I was looking forward to this relationship but now I feel like a liar, esp bc of how ocd messed with me in the beginning of it. It makes me feel like I never truly liked him. He doesn’t deserve someone like me. He deserves someone completely sure about who they are and their feelings/attraction for him. If it ends up getting to a point where I can’t get better, and I feel like I need to breakup with him, I’m afraid he won’t even want to be my friend afterwards. I really do cherish the friendship we have/had. He’s literally the only person who stuck by me. He would remember my birthday and bring me gifts even when we would rarely talk bc of school (mostly depression for me I’m bad at texting ppl). He would go out of his way to call me EVEN when I was mean to him for a while (not an excuse but I was v depressed and wanted to be left alone). Everything just haunts me now. What happened in that memory wasn’t normal for a straight girl😭but i know for a fact I never was attracted to my friend. She was my best friend at the time, and I knew her since elementary school, but I never felt those crush feelings for her. Like being with her in a romantic way or doing ANYTHING with her had never crossed my mind, even AFTER that whole tingly groinal response incident. I just remember being confused, uncomfortable, and scared because I literally felt nothing for her in that way. I don’t know if it was bc I was uncomfortable, focusing on the fact that she was sitting on my groin, had an image pop up in my head (cant rmbr exactly), felt pressure on my groin, if it was my undiagnosed OCD mind at work (i did had some weird random groinal responses w other things), or that I thought the position was sexual and was just stiff and weirded out, but I just want it to leave me alone 😭. When SOOCD was giving me a break I literally felt almost cured, I just needed my attraction and libido back. My boyfriend started waking it up again. But even then I was still numb and my compulsions/ocd was still clawing for control, making me feel nothing sometimes. Now that my attraction is numbed/dulled towards my bf I just feel frustrated. There’s times like today where I can feel it for like a couple seconds n my mind ks back in numb mode. He sent me pictures and I felt a dull “oh he’s cute” but it lasted for a minute bc I felt so aware (if that makes sense). Then I started to get thoughts about “forcing” those feelings. I just don’t know anymore. All ik is that my prozac BETTER work so I can have an easier time following through on my erp. I need a break…6 years and this shit is still not over.

Yesterday, I tried to report something based on a memory I had of the person sexualising characters from Scooby Doo who I didn't realise where underage at the time I saw it, twitter didn't seem to accept the report despite multiple attempts and I never got confirmation from the IWF that the report went through so I waited until today to see if it was just delayed but again, nothing, so I tried to report them again but it still didn't work so I reported them through another catergory on twitter that requires examples, I didn't want to do this but I didn't want them to get away with it so I copy and pasted some of their posts but they were mostly things that I may have been being paranoid about until a really disgusting one, so I copy and pasted that one and reported them (And reported them to the IWF again just in case) but I didn't realise their depravity would go that far and my brain is convincing me I had a groinal response to it and what if I did? I know it's an OCD thing but I'm scared that if I have a groinal response to those disgusting things that's like the bar where it stops being that and becomes something real I've been freaking out about how sometimes after my reporting compulsion I want to feel normal and destress and so check my attraction to porn and sometimes it leads to a masturbation compulsion to relieve stress despite me not feeling any attraction and my OCD was trying to tell me it was immediately after and I was freaking out but then something kind of clicked and I realised that's not happened (Or at least I don't think so) and I can't tell if it was a false memory/warped memory or not or if I am just convincing myself of this now because I don't want it to be true, I don't know which is true but the "epiphany" fits more but again what if that's because I want it to EDIT: I don't only report things related to my theme I also reported a lot of people for objectifying celebrities. Also when I say after I don't mean immediately I just mean the same day but I don't remember how soon which scares me. I was checking people's following again and noticed a dogwhistle in someone's bio but was concerned I was just being paranoid so I clicked on their profile and their pinned post was their accounts on other sites and an image of some animal character that looked kinda young but it wasn't anything bad so I still wasn't sure so I scrolled down slightly more and saw that they reposted a disgusting drawing, I reported all the accounts and left but my OCD is trying to convince me that I wanted to see these things

I had a crush on this person for a while and we started seeing each other, and we had a good time he invited me to a hardcore concert and I told him that i have OCD (harm and POCD) and my thoughts are starting to target him which ruined it, and i explained to him everything and told him that i like him but i do need some time to myself to recover until we see each other again, they truly are the sweetest and most amazing person i’ve met, is this a wise a decision i just don’t want to hurt them, and i would like to spend more time together, but i feel like i don’t deserve such kindness because of my monstrous thoughts.