- Date posted
- 50w
How do you ocd sufferers deal with thoughts during sex Have you done erp for this? Do you stop or continue?
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How do you ocd sufferers deal with thoughts during sex Have you done erp for this? Do you stop or continue?
“If you feel comfortable, drop one word in the chat that describes how OCD is showing up for you today.” 🧠 Why it helps: This is a low-pressure way to connect, especially in a virtual setting where speaking up might feel hard. You’re welcome to share a word like “loud,” “quiet,” “anxious,” “tired,” or even just “here.” There’s no wrong answer, and just naming your experience can help you feel more grounded.
I have this same situation replaying in my head. It has to do with porn so if your young just know this may be a little graphic. I tend to use Twitter for porn and the reason I do this is it’s a lot more direct I can type in what I want to see and it’s there I don’t have to go through unknown websites and hope not to get viruses, and to be a little more specific more amateur/ real sexual experiences come up on Twitter rather than porn pages with staged written scenes. So in my use of Twitter for this there’s been times when questionable material/ illegal material has come up and never did I save it knowing it was 100% illegal or even interact with it if I knew it was 100% illegal. I was 18 or 19 at the time of this and I started to fear that in these moments I would look at these illegal videos/ sketchy videos to long when they would pop up like for example I remember seeing a video that was 100% illegal content and I was so shocked and like confused that I looked at it for a moment and then left and then I went back to look at it again just to confirm that I was seeing what I thought I was seeing I also remember seeing videos that were in a 18+ section but sometimes the girls in the videos looked like they could be 15-17. As we all know 18 year olds can look anywhere from 15-17 or even younger these days so I would be cautious and use my context clues and what I knew when watching videos that I was suspicious about but had no proof of them being illegal aside from my thoughts and the person looking young. So with this and me worrying I got super scared and hyper aware of what I was watching and now I remember me going back on Twitter to look at content that I was intending to be 18+ but all I would think about is what if something illegal would come up what if I see it and I look for to long or what if I feel attracted and I like it. And I just remember going back to Twitter to look at legal porn but it felt like I was there so that something illegal could come up to see how I’d naturally react to it. Never did I go and type in key words or type in anything illegal in fact I remember times I would strictly put 18+ next to whatever I was searching so I could be sure everything was legal but sometimes it would feel like my hope and intention was that I would see something illegal so that I could feel that anxiety rush or just to see how I would react naturally to seeing it and I feel like this would count as me intentionally looking for it so now I feel disgusting and like I committed a crime. Sometimes I just feel like I was only looking at porn because I wanted to feel that anxiety of what if something bad comes up and how would I react. I know deep down I didn’t want to see illegal content and that I was probably just feeling that I wanted to check how id feel if it did come up but now I feel like I was intentionally looking and that my whole objective was for something questionable to come up so I can see how I react. Is this ocd or did I just make a horrible decision?
Around 10 years ago when I started getting violent OCD intrusive thoughts, I also started fearing that I was a sociopath. I began overanalyzing everything — especially my emotions. It's like if I could prove I had emotions it proved I wasn't a sociopath. I care deeply about my family — I worry about them, I want them to be safe and happy, I want them to get theit deepest desires — but I don’t know what love "feels" like, if its supposed to feel like anything. People describe love as this warm, obvious, fuzzy emotion, but I don’t experience it the way I think I’m supposed to. Is it supposed to be intense? Constant? Loud? Because I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that. My family isn’t very emotionally expressive either. I cherish hugs from them when I get them, I initiate most hugs with my parents (but I don't like hugs from other people, like co workers) but overall my family doesnt show affection much, and that’s made me question if I’m even capable of love. I overanalyze my feelings constantly — especially after realizing I don’t feel connected to God in the way my old church said I should. I don’t love God. I don’t feel anything toward Him — we’ve never met obviously so I just never got a connection with Him. But growing up, that felt like a sin in itself. As a teen, I felt ashamed knowing I cared more for my parents than for God, especially when church messages said God had to come first. There’s a song by Mary Mary that says, “I love you more than my mother, my father…” and it used to make me feel broken. My feelings were in direct contradiction with what I was taught, and that shame never fully left me. OCD latched onto that hard. It’s only after a coworker passed away — and I found myself crying multiple times over it — that I realized I do care deeply for people. But even that realization felt pathetic. Why did I need such an extreme moment to feel something “real”? & why didn't I care for another creepy bigoted co worker when his son was sick? I felt nothing. I’m scared my OCD is convincing me that I’m heartless, even though I want connection. I crave love. I like hugs. It’s exhausting and terrifying to doubt my own humanity like this. I hate this fear. I hate that I don’t trust myself. I hate that OCD makes me question my morality, my emotions — everything that makes me me. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How do I even explain this to a therapist
Does anyone experience ocd really bad with posts they see online? I just saw a post just now about someone who said they’ve come to terms with dying in their early twenties, and it popped up on my Instagram for you page and i panicked. I’m 20 myself and posts like this genuinely scare me because I always think “It’s a sign or there is a reason it’s popping up on my page.” Has anyone dealt with this before or had an instance like this? Especially with those posts that say if you don’t share or like it something bad will happen, it genuinely freaks me out and I love instagram.
I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
Today is Easter and it was supposed to be low key for me and my family but my mom invited a family member that bothers my ocd alot and now they are on their way here and I'm freaking out I already had a panic attack (still having it) and my family is not helping either they keep making comments about how they just want one holiday with no problems and some other comments and it's like I'm sorry I'm not normal like my siblings I didn't ask to be like this now I'm just hurt, upset and I locked myself in my room for the rest of day. (And I was doing so good with erp and this is like making me have a ocd relapse)
Why why WHY do I feel the need to constantly overshare?! It’s making me feel guilty af! If my boyfriend tells me something in confidence but my ocd twists what’s said into some crazy big problem I feel the need to run to my mom for reassurance, it’s getting to the point where he doesn’t trust me not to talk about stuff and I don’t want him to feel like that obviously!! But it’s like I can’t stop! Does anyone else have that? How do you stop it?
I have a job doing social media for a company that prides itself on making diverse titles, but I messed up. I made a post about Arab American Heritage Month for a book about Ramadan, but I looked at it today, 22 hours after I posted it, and saw that 3 people commented that the creators aren’t Arabic and that we were wrong to assume all Arabic people are Muslim. I feel like a huge idiot and so awful that I made such an egregious error and hurt people. I don’t know what to do. One of the authors reached out to me and I responded with apologies but what if I get fired and what if this makes me a terrible person and a racist. I changed the post and decided to ask my boss tomorrow (Monday) how to respond to the comments but what if I’m making the wrong choice and everything is worse now. I’m trying to spend Easter with my family (a trip that’s already insanely difficult for my ocd) but I can’t stop checking my phone and ruminating. Please help
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
I've opened up recently to my boyfriend about my ocd itself: he knew I had it, just didnt rlly understanded it. Today, I was feeling really awful because of my incest ocd, and the toughts were awful, so I decided to open up. BAD IDEA! he said it was ok and stuff but he also said he did not understand: he is, fairly, disgusted. Plus, he knowns my relatives, which probably made him even more sick. Im so sad, he is now more disgusted by me, and I am too.
Hiii - hope everyone is having a good day! Has anyone found any type of medication or supplements helpful with thinking sooo deeply about everything and intrusive thoughts? I’m in therapy + doing erp but my brain in this relapse of ocd just thinks sooo deep into my brain and i can’t seem to not to do it pull myself out. Like I’m just paranoid. An example would be if i simply look at my arm I’ll think so deeply about it like what’s under my arm what’s it look like inside etc. but if anyone not in this cycle looks at their arm they’ll be like hmm ok cool my arm and move on w their day. Just looking to see if anyone has had a similar experience of what I’m feeling rn.
I asked Chatgpt about some things, and it confirmed it. I know Chatgpt isn't a psychologist or therapist or whatever, and can't confirm a diagnosis per se. But I talked to Chatgpt about ephebophilia and things I was experiencing. And it said that yes, I was an ephebophile and had those characteristics. Even at 18. To be honest, this was already something I suspected. My type in people's looks and personality, my interest in certain fictional stories, the fact I don't lose interest/attraction even if I think someone is underaged, or I don't lose attraction if they are and just move on and try to ignore it. And many more thoughts and feelings I've had when seeing teens, ones much younger than me. I'm not surprised. I did try to believe it was just POCD or even porn, but I don't think it is anymore. I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to grow up and have the same feelings and thoughts. I don't want to harm someone. Or feel like I'm one bad day away from not giving a crap and doing something. What do I do? I can't get a therapist right now, but if I ever can I'm scared to tell them about what I've been going through and everything I've thought, felt, and done.
September 1st, 2024 I was hospitalized for the first time for my OCD. It changed my life. I have had OCD since I was 7 years old, though it took til I was much older to be diagnosed with it. Even after being diagnosed I didn't fully understand it and my life was manageable. On August 28th, 2024 I was watching a YouTube video when they mentioned gore sites (if you are triggered, just remember maybe you'll see a gore site maybe you won't, and sit with the uncertainty!). This triggered me into a downward spiral where I felt like my skin was burning, refused to use my laptop, refused to have a browser on my phone, was terrified I would microwave my cat, could not eat, and had images flashing in my head of anything gruesome my mind could muster. This went on until I was begging to be admitted into the behavioral health center near me (3 days). I then stayed there and was put on a new medication and doped up so much that I was half asleep. I was there for 4 days. I was then put into a partial hospitalization program and this made me worse again because it was providing me with both proper OCD coping mechanism and improper ones. The unfortunate part is I was still in my episode and the proper ones wouldn't help because I wasn't taught how to do them starting at lower distress obsessions. 2 weeks after being released, I was rehospitalized. This time I stayed for 11 days. During this time my medication was upped again, and I was getting better. Tbh the phone detox helped so much, anyways. After this I went back to php and it helped so much. I was ready to hear what they had to say and took it to heart! Around the same time, I connected with NOCD as recommended by my psychiatrist. This is when I was once again diagnosed with OCD and was for the first time diagnosed with PTSD. I was overjoyed with my diagnosis. It explained everything that my OCD did not and from there I began the journey of being treated for both OCD and PTSD through NOCD. I also went through an intensive outpatient program for my PTSD but NOCD is what helped me the most. Fast forward to now... Almost 8 months after I was first admitted and I am a conquerer!!! NOCD and ERP are so so worth it and help. It's hard, I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but it is so worth it and will permanently help. Compulsions only help temporarily and make you worse. Sit with that discomfort folks and grow stronger! You got this! 💪💪💪💪

Now i have been a little upset, and i just came across a post that asked people, "What's one of those things that people refuse to accept out of morality, but you believe to be true?" One of the most liked answers was: "Killing criminals should be legal", another answer said: "Imagine a carnage of p... To be in a better world where children don't suffer" I mean, i'm not advocating for those criminals, and in some ways i agree that the world would be better off without them, but my mind keeps assuming i'm already one of them and they're talking about me. It's torture. I don't know what to do or think, It's just that there's no point in "accepting that it could or could not be the fear in my mind", because if it's true, it would mean the most horrible thing in the world. That is, for ROCD, for SOOCD, yeah, it's that irrational and fault logic by definition. There is no shame in being gay, heterosexual or not, loving your partner or not is not a matter of live and death, but POCD doubt IS, i mean... Not only does it feel important, IT IS important for me and i would believe that for everybody, because that's a matter of hurting other people or not, it's a matter of ruining someone's live or not. I can't practice ignoring my mind, saying "ok, maybe", BECAUSE IT'S AN EXTRAODINARILY HORRIBLE TOPIC.
Anyone else really wanna pursue their dreams, but imposter syndrome and OCD thinking holds them back? For me, it’s my art. I’ve had some success with my art, and it’s been really exciting, but then I think of all the things I regret and the mistakes I made, and I’m terrified, so I recoil. I never feel like I deserve it. All those artists who’ve been praised for their art by the masses, I imagine them as being perfect. I know it’s not true, but I mean, how can you put yourself out there these days and not know you have no skeletons in the closet?? I see people making reels and they’re so confident and carefree, and I think, “I bet they’ve never made any really big mistakes, or else they’d be terrified of having themselves out there.” I’m probably projecting. Maybe they’re just as terrified deep down. Maybe that’s what drives them. Maybe that’s what makes their art so touching. All I really wanna do is impact other people with my art. Maybe there’s a selfish part of me that relies on the praise, and that’s the part I need to let go of. Whether I get praise or not, my art should just be something I’m proud of. If I can help someone with my art, that would be amazing. Like you guys. I feel like this community is my demographic, and even if the rest of the world turned away from me, the ones who’ve been in my shoes are the ones I should write for. Anyway, this is a huge issue for me and my OCD. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I would really love to hear them, because I feel pretty stuck.
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
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