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Have you ever been blackout drunk or on any substance that causes you to blackout and your ocd tells you that you did something horrible or something happened to someone and you were there and you were under the influence so your ocd gets triggered and makes you think you did it even though you weren’t having intrusive thoughts at that time in your life?
My real event went from the age range of 12-17 and since it feels so recent I am struggling to forgive myself and move on. I went into more detail in my other post if you’re curious. The guilt and shame I feel for things I did as a child is ruining my life at this point.
Is it still only ocd when you think/obsess/ruminate over if something traumatic happened TO YOU not by you? Sometimes I get weird groinals or intrusive thoughts near my family members. It makes me wonder and ruminate over if something may have happened and I just can’t remember. Thoughts like, “What if I was abused and can’t remember?” I haven’t had this issue in a while but it came back up because I had a bad dream :( I know dreams are meaningless so I don’t want to ruminate over it but I don’t really know if anyone else has themes directed towards others like this. It’s almost like what if I have PTSD and don’t know it? Please help
I don’t care if this sounds mean. The man just decided to post that OCD is a beneficial disorder. It angers me so mucn that people think of ocd as this thing where it makes you more clean or it makes you more meticulous and perfect, etc. etc. it took me so long to get diagnosed with OCD because nobody could understand the fact that it’s not about being clean or having any sort of obsession with cleanliness or structure. For me, I’ve always struggled with OCPD. I’ve never not been obsessed with something in my entirety of existence. I have relationship OCD. I have OCD about being in narcissist I have OCD about climate change. I have OCD about the wars going on and how they might end up the state these things have genuinely impacted my left the point where I live in fear and I get so scared and will spend hours and hours researching the possibilities of these things being true. Misinform damages literally every single person involved even people who don’t have OCD. I’m just so sick of it. This dude has a huge platform and it really bothers me that people can get away with this shit
Has rumination ever helped you uncover small parts of the memory your obsessed with? For me it seems like this is happening and I’m getting excited at the idea of remembering almost everything and not having to deal with doubt and false memories surrounding it.
How do I tell myself to worry/do OCD stuff later. I’ve been anxious for different thing for a couple hours now and I just wanna take a break. But if I don’t do my OCD stuff in this exact moment, it won’t feel right and I feel like I will ruin it. Especially since a big event just happened and I get anxious during big events because I wanna enjoy them and not worry during, or in this case, after they happened.
I did a bad thing when I was a kid. I feel like I dont deserve to move on and dont deserve to be happy. I keep thinking about the damage that I did and I feel like I deserve to be alone . And that I cant be trusted. Any advice?
how do you all deal with intrusive thoughts and the false memories that come along with them?
I struggle with real event/false memory ocd, I take Zoloft which isn’t helping also I did years of therapy and recently stopped due to insurance issues. I constantly obsess over my mistakes as a teenager especially one specific mistake where when I was dating my now husband I ended up hanging out with another guy having drinks but nothing happened really, I’ve already confessed this to him through out the past 11 years of being married over and over to the point where he is so exhausted of hearing it and it just opens old wounds and creates problems , he has told me to stop bringing it up and leave it in the past. But anytime I remember another tiny memory of that night I have an urge to confess or I feel so much guilt and shame like I’m keeping a huge secret, this detail is small but it still makes me feel horrible 😢 it’s been weeks and I’ve not confessed but when will this feeling go away? It’s day and night all I think about. I’m also 8 months pregnant and have two other kiddos and it’s so hard to continue to be a mom and wife and feel so much guilt and shame 😥
Waking up in a panick everyday thinking if this is real life or not, the thoughts never stop, I just want to get better, I had a panick attack yesterday thinking this wasn’t real life, I coped with alcohol for the past 4 years, now when I wake up it’s straight to this isn’t real life and you should just hurt yourself, am I going crazy ?
So sometimes I feel fake and evil, like everything I do or say is fake and that I’m gonna do something evil or apparently already done (false memories). Like I know it’s ocd cuz I got the symptoms, but i can’t get diagnosed yet, which then makes me doubt if I’m faking that as well. I’m kinda scared tbh and saying this makes feel like I’m lying and then lying about not lying and yeh
So I’m going to try and make this short. Is anyone experiencing there brain thoughts or even themselves thoughts like this “I have been through this 3 times before in my life, I know exactly how to fix it. However, I think my brain knows I’m trying to trick it with ERP or ACT therapy.” Idk, like I know exactly how to fix this episode of OCD as I have had three previous relapses in my life. However, I’m scared and terrified that my brain is just smarter than me. Like idk if this makes any sense. I’m terrified that I will never get out of this. Then when I think like this, like I start to remember everything that has happened since my first ever episode, like have always experienced these symptoms and I just ignored them? Have I always just been like this? Was I happy when I wasn’t or was experiencing this? It so hard to explain. Like I’m not scared, but I am, I’m more frustrated and annoyed, but also sad. Idk I feel like I’m losing it. I talk to myself out loud to gain some confidence, but then I question like don’t crazy people talk to themselves, but I can’t be crazy because I’m aware that I’m talking to myself. Idk I feel alone, like I’m going to be like this forever. Like I will never outsmart my brain. It’s just weird. Also not to mention like literally everything triggers me. Everything. I suffer with DP/DR, so every conversation or action I do my brain just questions everything! Literally everything. Idk what to do. Can anyone relate to this?
im scared im not a good person and i never will be. ive had real events about obsessions before but i always thought its nothing i cant beat with self compassion and therapy in the future but i feel like a horrible person for things that happened years ago and even the memory is fuzzy. i was a toxic child who shouldnt have been on the internet but im scared i was responsible for something bad. i hate myself. this doesnt feel like something any amount of self compassion could ever fix
Hi - If any one of you have done ERP on above subtypes and recovered successfully, please ping me. I would like to hear some tips from you. Thanks!
People don’t understand how much ocd takes over your life, here’s some of my old compulsions through the years, I can laugh about these ones now as I’ve managed to stop them. Although I’m yet to beat false memory ocd. - Checking the knife draw before bed 14 times just to be ‘sure’ the knife’s were all there. - Filming under my bed before I went to sleep to make sure no one was there. - Barricading my door at night as I had a fear I would sleep walk and ‘hurt’ someone. - Video myself doing my nightly compulsions (locking doors, turning lights off, checking everything etc) to make sure it’s done. - running up and down the stairs 44 times before bed to make sure no one dies 😅😂(honestly no clue) - tapping an even number of times on each side of my body. - whenever I made someone else a drink I would have to re-do it about 10 times and video it, as id convinced myself I’d poisoned it🙃lol I mean I could go on forever but here’s some!! I’m hoping this makes someone feel less alone as I’ve stopped this now with a lot of work, it is possible!! False memory ocd is next for me , I’m hoping I can beat this as I have the above.
I’ve been going through what I suspect is depersonalisation for the past 6 months (triggered by a bad ocd episode) It’s been a really bad period and after this much time I feel like my depersonalisation (if that’s what I have) has gotten so complex that I’ve started to really forget who I am, how I used to act, what I believe in, I feel like I’ve completely lost my own identity. Thinking about past memories hurts, thinking about people I love hurts, I am not sure what to do anymore. I have been told to try and get on with my life by many people online and the depersonalisation will go away by itself, unfortunately that is not the case as whenever I try to get on with my life it gets worse and I feel even more disconnected. I feel like the only time I feel like I’m getting somewhere is when I sit and try to think back of the ocd episode that triggered all this, almost like I have unprocessed emotions from that episode that needs solving in order for my depersonalisation (if that’s indeed what I have) to go Please, if you’ve been through something similar let me know, have you ever felt like on ocd episode is holding you back from your life and is making you feel disconnected from yourself until you go back and process it? As if it was some sort of traumatic memory that needs processing? Don’t hesitate to leave a comment and thank you in advance :)
Why do intrusive thoughts feel so real? I sometimes fear it isn't OCD and I actually do feel/think those things and it causes me immense distress.
Lately my ocd has shown back up big time. I’m coming close to the end of my pregnancy and my hormones typically really affect it. Currently living in the existential/ harm themes and fear of developing psychosis and going to hurt my loved ones! Questioning if things are real too which then makes me even more anxious because I think I’m slipping into psychosis! Anyone else experience this? Just not the headspace I want to be in before birth
I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” and the scariest of them all…”why would a see a doctor if this is all real” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.
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