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I just see my boyfriend's flaws and I feel we have to break up because we are not compatible and I dont think it s rocd

Scary intrusive thoughts For the past 8 months I’ve been terrified of developing schizophrenia, I’ve gone through various stages of this theme, like in the beginning I was really afraid of hallucinating and stuff like that but as the months and this obsession progressed I’ve become more afraid of having delusions and the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. In the beginning after watching a demonic horror movie or something I would start getting awful intrusive thoughts like “what if I start to believe my wife is a demon” or “what if I start believing the government is run by satan” or some shit, but now i get thoughts like that all the time and even without watching horror movies, and now the “what if I start to believe” part is gone and now the thoughts are like “what if my wife is a demon.. well you can’t prove she’s not” etc etc. my ocd or anxiety has really latched onto these delusional, demonic thoughts. I hate them so much, I have never ever believed in superstitious stuff like this before, I am a literal atheist and a secular humanist. What is wrong with me? Has anyone ever had intrusive thoughts like this?

Can anyone else with ROCD tell me their experience with it and their partner? How you’ve navigated it and how it’s affected you? I just need ti know I’m not alone with my thoughts that throw themselves into me when I’m with my girlfriend. Thoughts of hating her, of hitting her, breaking up with her, being angry for no reason, and more recently a forced numbness that scares me. I think the numb could be separate and could be stress and burnout from taking care of her the past few weeks emotionally without breaks pretty much and I’ve been drained and I’m scared my love for her won’t come back but I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure it will. I hope it will but before when I had these thoughts they scared me a lot more now in more numb to them. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t love her, or if I don’t want to be with her 24/7 then I shouldn’t be with her at all. Could anyone share their experiences?

I have been with my boyfriend in college for 4 months now. This is my first relationship and being in a relationship made me discover i have OCD, I never knew I had it before. How do I stop the ROCD from feeling so *real*? Does anyone else struggle with this? Suddenly my mind starts saying no this isn’t ROCD you’re just in denial and you need to break up with your boyfriend because you can’t “waste time” with him because it is probably going to end anyways. A huge trigger for me is also the fact that this IS my first love and I know those rarely last. I keep thinking this is just going to end in pain and heartbreak so I should end it now or what if I get stuck in this relationship and fast forward 10 years I wish I had dated someone else and not wasted my time and it ends in divorce or something. I feel so at war with myself and my OCD is so good at convincing me it’s real. Even right now I just had an attack and I swear maybe I do need to break up with him because of how bad my ROCD is itself. Anyone else feel that? like meta ROCD where “I need to break up with him because the ROCD is going to ruin things anyway”. Please help, how do I tell what I really want

I am so heartbroken. When I look back at my life I feel like I’ve always had some sort of rocd. But I’ve never had a partner who is trustworthy and provides security and stability to me. I used to worry so much about people leaving me, therapists and doctors would say this was anxiety. When I met my current partner, I worried myself sick that he was going to leave but this was so irrational because it was obvious that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying ever. Fast forward to a few months ago I had a harm OCD thought and that was horrific, I was so so terrified of my mind. I thought that I was going to commit myself. I finally got over this obsession & it morphed into fear of not “really” loving my partner and it has me questioning everything about our relationship. When I don’t want to. At all. We are supposed to be getting engaged this year.. and I want my future with him so bad but feel that these thoughts and fears is going to ruin my whole life. I just wish it could go away.. QUESTION- if you have experience with this please comment. I also don’t know how much of this could be trauma related (I’ve never saw a healthy relationship before) and how much I should dig into that? Or if I should really treat this as an OCD matter. I don’t want to hurt my partner, I love him so much. I feel like by being with him I am setting him up for failure… this is so hard.

Does anyone else share this sentiment? I want to date someone with OCD. Preferably someone who understands pure-o and the issues I go through. I feel like it would be easier because not only would they understand me, I feel like I could also be good for them because I'd understand how OCD works and help them through their obsessions together and overall it would be healthier than someone else having to navigate my OCD. That being said I'd still have to find someone okay with my asexuality and me being genderfluid but :( small steps I guess. Anyone else relate? Of course,

My boyfriend's cousin who is in college still has spring break right now. They decided to go to Fort Lauderdale for his break and I was not invited of course because it is a "boys trip". They're meeting up with two cousins and a friend so I know its all guys. But I cannot help but have the worst OCD of cheating. Everyone knows that, thats the place all the spring breakers go or Miami and if they're in a relationship they usually are attempted to cheat whether boy or girl. I cannot tell if I trust him or if my OCD is making me feel like I do not. If I didn't trust him then why would I have been with him for 3 years? I need advice on what to do and how to go about this. I already talked to him about it and he keeps me updated everyday but it does not help me still.

I read yesterday on Google that ‘someone that is good for you might not be for you’ and ‘just because someone is good for you doesn’t mean you will be attracted to them’ and I’ve started to spiral after a good recovery time, obviously due to my thoughts I find it difficult to feel attracted to my bf at all times but now my brains convincing me I don’t have to be with him just because he is good for me

What medications are people taken? I am currently on mirtazapine 30mg. I think it may be time for another docs visit as I don't think it is working well anymore.. sick of feeling the way I do. Constant brain activity with hocd is very tiring. Can't seem to catch a break lately. This last week has been horrendous interms of obsessions and then checking. Having a massive effect on my relationship with my wife (she knows i struggle with anxiety but doesn't know the reason why). My trigger words during normal conversations make my anxiety spike so much that she can clearly see this happening, then she starts to say words that she knows triggers my anxiety.. like the most trigger word for me right now is "come out", which is used in most conversations but I just can't stop the anxiety when I hear this, my brain starts to ask questions..

I hope this post finds someone who is currently struggling with this ocd theme. Long story short, about 3 months ago I experienced an encounter where it has traumatized me to the core. I have relationship OCD due to the fact that I was unfaithful to my partner at the beginning of our relationship. I built such fear and trauma from it to not do it again. My partner knows everything! But what I want to say today is that there is hope. These past 3 months has been a living hell for me. I experienced false memory so severely and bad. To explain the experience, I went to the gym to cancel my membership. Like I mentioned, I have slight fear with guys because of what I went through. I do admit to my faults, I was being nice to this guy. He was super friendly/outgoing. And from the start I remember thinking nothing of it but to be nice and chill towards this guy ( usually I’m super serious). Unfortunately, it is completely out of my memory now. But I said at the beginning I had an intrusive thought about being extra friendly to this guy behind my boyfriend’s back. Mind you it turned into something crazy because through I and my boyfriend’s messages, I said that the thought was about flirting. But I’ve always remembered as friendly. That completely distorted my memory. So during this months I’ve been trying to figure it out and see if after whatever thought I had, I smiled more or not due to the malicious intrusive thought I had. Then it jumped into, I don’t remember and ‘ what if ‘ I flirted with this guy or flirtatiously smiled at him. Constant doubts about this situation and the amount of anxiety this brought to me. My boyfriend said if there was any flirtation at all he’s leaving. So that left me in the trenches because as a person with OCD, there’s a 0 tolerance for uncertainty especially with a memory. Although it brought me days of not eating because I was so fixated on I have to know every detail of this encounter. Recently, I started to think to myself. Life is not always gonna be 100% certainty. But there is such thing called logic. For people going through FALSE MEMORY. Listen to me right now, if you did something bad, you just know. There’s no doubt or anything. Unless you have very short term memory like actually diagnosed. I started to think about it and told myself, you know what; if I flirted with this guy, I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. If I would have smiled in a flirtatious way towards this guys I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. Any aspect that would have made me uncomfortable, I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. That is logic. You can ask any person right now and ask them hey do you remember this memory by detail and they will say NO. But if you ask them, in this case, did you smile in a flirty way or flirt with them they’ll say no. But how if you don’t remember the details, and I promise there answer would be well I wouldn’t do that and ontop of that if I would have I would’ve known that since it happened and would’ve recalled. So please anyone going through false memory, listen up, if it begins with ‘ what if ‘ shut that off right then and there. You remember big details, as humans we are prone to that. Move forward and drop whatever you are going through and live your life!!!! Stop torturing yourself.

How do I know I definitely have ocd I feel like I’m making it all up and using it as excuse to my boyfriend and that I’m a bad person towards him I don’t want to hurt him I want to share my thoughts with someone :(

Everytime i try, my attraction to men is always just constantly underminded by constant intrusive thoughts. I just feel like what excuse do i have at this point. Im so unstable i cant tell up from down. Id feel like myself one day, and the next im convinced i have 0 attraction to men anymore, so what choice do i have but be straight, just to have a crush on a dude the next day. Being thrown through the ringer just kills me. It feels like my personality is being rewritten day by day, and I cant tell which thoughts are real anymore.

Just wanted to let you guys know . I hop in from time to time to read and check in and wanted to let you guys know that I’ve dealt with a lot of the things mentioned here if not all . I am not a trained therapist. I’m just telling my own testimony in hopes to help others. 1. It’s not the thoughts that are the problem …. It’s the relationship we have with the thoughts. The more we realize that OCD thoughts have absolutely no meaning , the quicker you can move forward. The anxiety will lessen once your relationship changes and you’ll be able to overcome. 2. There’s not a different regime for each subtype . ERP is the best approach ..Don’t run from these thoughts …. Sit with them And retrain your brain to learn that they don’t mean a thing. If you’re having SOCD about a particular friend , have the courage to go out and hang with them. It’s tough but the more you expose yourself to the environment that you’re afraid of …. The more your brain realizes that these fears are irrational. If you’re having self harm OCD . Expose yourself to the things that you fear … At the root of OCD is fear and doubt….. it’s not the subtype itself …. Approach them all in the same manner. OCD hit me like a ton of bricks 4 years ago …..I struggled tremendously about 2 years before knowing how to handle it or even what it was. I lost my Job due to OCD and almost admitted myself in a hospital several times because I thought I was going crazy. It was almost two years of debilitating anxiety until I learned what I was dealing with was OCD. A few subtypes to name : health anxiety, sexual orientation ocd, self harm ocd, sleep anxiety , fear of being a pedophile. It’s like once I got over one ….the next would come until I realized they were all coming from the same thing ….that’s when my life started to change Fast forward, with the help of God, I learned to retrain my brain and not to worry about intrusive thoughts when they come in from time to time. actually learned to take them as the joke they are . The more I exposed myself … the more I trusted myself . Nobody else can reassure you … better yet you don’t need reassurance because it’s actually what keeps you in the cycle. Just Trust God Now I’m a Middle school teacher , in graduate school working towards my degree in counseling with a bright future ahead. I say this to say that, if I can do it , you can do it too …. I’m no different from any of you … I didn’t have a therapist at the time so take advantage if you do. Don’t view OCD as bad ….. it’s apart of you that you will learn to manage. I don’t regret OCD cause it has made me a less fearful person …. I’ve fixed fear and doubt that rooted from my childhood through the struggles of OCD . So it was a blessing in disguise. This is a temporary phase for all of you , trust me . And I know how hard it is to believe that when you’re in the middle of it . But remember. Once your relationship with the thoughts changes that’s when you Free yourself Love all 🙏🏾

So after taking a break from this app for a little over a month I thought I'd make a decision to cut out bad habits that I feel I can't moderate or affect my dopamine. (gaming, TV etc). I did this cold turkey and it highlighted a compulsion that is never really considered, avoidance. I used to think the days were never long enough and how can I possibly do everything in a day. Now they're incredibly long and I find it hard to fill up the time. I joined a new gym and now go for runs. I've started reading which I find enjoyable but can only do it for so long until my brains screaming at me to do something else. I went over some work stuff and found out since the passing of my nan, my financial situation wasn't really kept on top of as ocd went full throttle. I lost thousands... Numerous panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Stressed me beyond belief. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel and thought I can get myself out of this ocd hole... And my car starts playing up and causing me to lose thousands more. I took it in to get worked on and they handed it back "fixed". It almost killed me a few days later. If I wasn't experienced enough to deal with the issue I could've died. I took it back and did my best to stay calm and didn't raise my voice. I wanted reassurance but I know its bad for ocd, but I think in this case it's acceptable because it's just reassuring me that my car would be fixed properly and I'd be able to eat and pay the bills. Car issue is almost resolved but omfg the stress over the last month was unbelievable. I got better after therapy without a doubt and I know I can get better again but this all brought it back. Once I got rid of daily distractions and looked at improving my life I didn't realise how much ocd and these habits kept me from looking at the huge hole I buried myself in. I made a deal to give into some compulsions whilst I sort this out as I'm struggling to fight on all fronts at the moment. It's too much. Once my finances are sorted, ocd is going to be a priority to work on again. One thing I learned was you cope with stress, and manage the stressors. I feel as if thats not clarified enough anywhere. Oh and one more thing, I watched a video regarding to me being depressed naturally because of the suicidal thoughts and it was interesting. Basically asked if I was depressed or just have a terrible life. I'm both, but it's because I have a terrible life at the moment. But that will change. Just wish it changed faster 😅 And I think a woman at my gym class has a crush on me so that's one good thing. Can't all be negative

My most obsessed thought is am I going to be like this for the rest of my life. I have no desire to do anything nothing is fun I'm serving a life sentence in my head. I've lost every friend I've ever had because fun doesn't exist in ky life its what if we get in trouble what if someone gets hurt how will that person feel will the think I'm a bad person and 200 more what ifs and by what if number 6 you've lost someone else u cherished. I've had countless relationships with some of the most amazing girls and every one of them always say I did not know it was this bad and they disappear. If theres some kinda help out there or any way I can help someone else that is living anything close to my life sign me up. I often feel like there's only one way out and that there is no help for me but I keep faith and hope that there is. Stay strong there's gotta be a cure for this. Thanks

Hiii :) I feel like I come on here and type stuff out all the time , but this one is about my Rocd. I have had a difficult time in my relationship more than once with Rocd and this time my brain is saying “maybe this keeps happening because he truly isn’t the one”. When I have said multiple times to my mom and family that he’s the one I’m going to marry. My first ocd attack in this relationship was back in may/June of 2023. Our one year anniversary was on February 25th :), everything was fine , my mindset was fine , our relationship was healthy. I have been going to therapy so my self esteem and confidence has gotten a lot better and apparently that changed my behavior in my relationship, to a point where now my boyfriend is overthinking and feeling afraid that I will find someone better than him because I now think highly of myself. Which I do not judge him for it, I was once in his position. My therapist said something about how it’s either I’m losing interest in him or I feel secure with him and that’s why I’m acting differently. Which I think was my first trigger , then my friends called me up soon after my therapy appointment and said “forget the boyfriend and come move back home we miss you” because I moved to Florida to be closer to my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend more than anything and even typing this out now my brain is like “do you? “. “But you feel nothing”. I feel like there is a wall between me and reality right now and every time I am with my boyfriend I try so hard to feel something that I feel nothing, I have gone numb. I don’t have a sex drive , I don’t feel butterflies, I question if I’m attracted to him, every time I look at him I try really hard to feel infatuated with him and I feel nothing. This numbness came out of nowhere and it’s making me so frustrated and depressed and I do not know what to do. I struggled with Rocd in my past relationships but the guys I were with couldn’t handle it so we ended. This is the first guy to stick around. So if I had stayed with those other guys would it have kept happening in those relationships too? Or is the guy I’m with really not the one? I feel so stressed and defeated and all I want is for things to go back to the way they were last week when it brain wasn’t being like this :/ Of course I love my partner , so why do I feel so numb with him and why am I not having panic attacks like I used to whenever Rocd hit. Am I not panicking because I truly don’t care? The stress is so depressing.

My boyfriend (2.5 years) said something extremely cruel during an argument and hours later after he apologized and we took space from each other I was able to get over it quickly and be back to normal and that scares me. I’m afraid I should break up with him because what he said was really bad but I don’t want to and that would mean all my rocd fears are true basically. He is usually very sweet and loving but he has said very hurtful things during arguments and couple of times.

Hi guys I wanna say something…if anyone relates please advice me. Recently I’ve getting a lot of attention from guys (outside) and I’m in a relationship. So basically before rocd hit me I swear I never craved for attention like I’m doing these days and it’s just not feeling right. I feel that it’s against me my rules my values. Why am k running after attention and I’m liking it whenever I get the attention, I swear earlier I wouldn’t even care about it….my partner was all enough…now I’m questioning myself why?! Am I liking it. Do I like the person or the attention I’m getting from the person and one incident happened which made me feel like I should really stay in my boundaries and I feared loosing my partner. It not like I’m doing something unethical but it’s all making me feel like I’m a betrayer cheater and not loyal. And then today it made me question again do I not love my partner? I swear guys it’s getting heavy on me and definitely causing me anxiety and making me feel like kl never be able to become a good partner if I keep on going like this. I WAS NOT LIKE THIS , THIS ALL DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE ME! Does ocd has a part in it? What should I do because I think I’ll be ruining my relationship by going on like this. (Anxious) I feel like moving away because I’m not able to handle anything. Pls help me.

i got broken up with, a month and a half ago. it’s been terrible to say the least, because at first neither of us really wanted to break up. I can’t help but think about how they’re feeling. I want to give them space, but it hurts really badly. I’ve been going to programs (learning DBT), and they’ve been helpful but it seems these thoughts have been happening most of my day. I just want to live in the present.

I have real event OCD as well as scrupulous OCD A couple years ago I was hanging out with my friend and he had a girlfriend at the time. He kissed me and I didn’t stop him but I didn’t really want to do it I just have a fear of setting boundaries due to past trauma. In an effort to say no he was about to have sex with me and I said I didn’t want to have sex without a condom but he did anyways. I felt really gross and violated afterwards and I told some friends what happened they said it was SA but now I’m convinced that I actually wanted it the whole time and I’m putting the blame on him so I don’t have to cope with the idea that I homewrecked a relationship and now have convinced myself I have NPD. I hate this