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im worried that im falling out of love or if I haven't already, then I'm on track to. I don't know what to do

I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough..I’ll always have issues and ocd relapses. My bf needs someone better.

so i wanted to come on here and tell you all about a break through i’ve had. i’ve been in therapy for ocd for 8 months now and i can say and confirm and it has truly changed my life. im still growing and healing, i still get thoughts, i still get my obsessions. but i can resist and ignore compulsions now. as i heal ive noticed the thoughts more, gotten nervous they might mean something. it makes you feel crazy and like your whole journey was a lie and that these have been thoughts all along that are true. i’ve been in an 8 month long relationship since january and with my ocd it has not been easy. many times i felt like i should give up because even though i love my partner, i can’t be with anyone unless im completely healed. but something in me always made me stay. i come back now in august with those same thoughts and i worried that this might that it’s the end or that he truth has come. however something stuck out to me after i read up on the matter more and gained insight. something i learned and will now always instill is that love should be freedom, and feel freeing. freeing to be you, freeing to grow. i realized quickly that ive been free to grow and explore. but ive been holding myself back. not out just of fear but of not realizing that i am my own liferaft. i hadnt begun to step into my true unblocked energy, one that knows and trusts what i need and knows that the universe, god, whatever is above will always align me in places at the right time. this of course, is a balance and not one that needs to be taken immensely serious. in fact we should be taking life less seriously. i say all this to let you all know and instill that as we step into our confidence and trust and instill the outward energy inward. rather than worrying on if they’re right for you, or if you are in the right relationship, or if you feel disconnected or lacking of connection. connect back with yourself first, you be able to understand and see that the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams with career, self, relationships and more truly lies within you. it’s uncomfortable, it’s hard and it makes us scared to loose the situations that don’t serve us. but once you connect back with the energy and trust you have for yourself, you truly begin to realize you can let people in, everyone including partners are people YOU let in your life and are simply people with other lives that you need not connect to yours in the sense of making personal decisions or dictating your mood. people don’t speak enough on what it means to heal after ocd symptoms go down. you realize it’s about getting through the thoughts to get to the root and do that inward work. it’s still something im working towards. do something you love, go for a walk, read a book, it’s uncomfortable because we’re so used to be preoccupied that when we step back into ourselves we feel like we don’t know ourselves and it’s ocd that tries to take over once again. trust in yourself, your own decision and what you want, feed your mind, and understand we’re all doing this for the first time, but you can handle because you are your liferaft, your safety and you security and peace. i promise it’s life changing. reach out if you need someone to talk to you will get through it💌💗

My friend Jake and k have been hooking up and we were supposed to hang out but he said he was tired so he was going to go to sleep I was upset but I said that I wanted him to get some rest and we can hang out another day but then I walked to get my medicine form the pharmacy he lives right across the street I saw he was having a fire with two girls and a guy that I’m also friends with so he lied to me about going to sleep but whatever. Him and this one girl have been friends for over a decade and so I don’t want to be controlling and tell him to stop hanging out with her because it makes me insecure and also we aren’t seeing eachother and I know they’re friends so blocked her because I knew I would keep obsessing about it and I don’t want to be controlling or crazy to him or her but she asked me why I blocked her and I didn’t tell her why and then I added her back because I felt guilty but I’m worried I have NPD because I think deep down I wish they weren’t friends she is so beautiful and smart and funny and it makes me feel worthleee but that isn’t her fault

someone please reach out im really not doing okay and this is the closest i think ive come to making the decision that ny relationship needs to end but i cant do it. it's gotten so bad that even being around my boyfriend doesn't calm me down or make me feel better out these feelings, it just makes me feel like they're more real. im not confident that I'm just dealing with ocd at all. I'm so worried that my relationship is beyond repair and that I've fallen out of love because of resentment from problems we have. I don't know what love feels like how do I even know and yeah I know lo e isn't a feeling it's a choice but it's so hard to make choices let alone the correct ones when I'm doubting every aspect of our lives and relationship. I don't want to prolong the inevitable and make us both more miserable until we decide to finally end it but I don't want to end it if things can get better and I will feel normal again and in love. not guilty every time I say I love you because then I have the thought that I shouldn't say it because I don't know anymore. How do I talk to him about this. I bring it up but then I gloss it over with a reason that is more understandable and true but less painfu then "I don't know if im falling out of love or even what love feels like and I don't even know myself anymore so I don't know how I feel" and then we kinda comfort eachother until we get too sleepy to stay awake. I know OCD messes with your brain and can make feelings feel so real when they aren't and thoughts that aren't logical make the most sense. I know how it works but having OCD doesn't mean you can't experience the same things other people experience in relationships. So how do you know the difference.

All my life my boyfriends have told me I was too much and too emotional. I feel everything so deeply. Have to express everything I feel and I feel A LOT. It exhausts them. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing guy and I can only see the bad. I hate when he's having his alone time playing video games or on his phone because it leaves me feeling a void and feels like a threat. I know it's irrational but I can't help the fear and resentment I get when he does his own thing and makes me feel alone. Why would he rather do those things then be in the present moment with me ? These thoughts are constant and I cannot be happy no matter how hard I try distracting myself. Does anyone have advice

Do you ever meet a guy that treats you so well and you fall in love with him but then all of a sudden you get hit with thoughts of self doubt on weather or not you do love him or even find him attractive? I’m going through this right now and these thoughts overtake my emotions and any time we do lovey dovey things my stomach drops and I get anxious when I can’t feel any lovey dovey emotions. It also makes me want to run away or makes me question that I don’t wanna be with him and it’s stressful to deal with these thoughts daily. Anyone relate?

My boyfriend broke up with me 6 years ago and I thought I was over it by now, but this weekend I opened instagram and saw that he had gotten married. Safe to say I was shocked; I didn’t even know he was dating someone. And a whole floodgate of emotions have come along with it that I wasn’t expecting. It’s made a ton of doubts pop into my head like what if I never love anyone as much again? It was a very loving and deep relationship and I feel like I haven’t had a similar one since. What if he was my “soulmate” and I screwed it up? What if I’ve messed up my life’s trajectory? And also sadness and anger that he’s moved on from me and has feelings towards someone else instead. I know it’s just going to take time and acceptance but some support would be lovely ❤️ Anyone else been through this? It’s like im re-living the break-up all over.

Sometimes I fear if I actually love my bf or I jjst love who he is to me. I love our friendship and I love spending time with him it’s never draining the draining part is mostly my THOIGHTS I’d say but sometimes yk I think of how much he loves me and I don’t normally feel what he feels I think my honeymoon phase ended and he’s still going and I know love is a choice and before my bf wasn’t who I expected on my head but I did grow to except that he’s not perfect and that’s ok I can except that he’s different doesn’t mean he’s bad for me and sometimes I have other moments where I realize he’s like someone who’s I’ve always wanted I do suffer from SOOCD and ROCD so idk if this is it I don’t want to break up with him bc I do enjoy having him in my life aside when I’m not anxious I love being around him has anyone ever thought this or felt this?

I recently had a bunch of life changes in the past 4 months: selling my home after a flood scare, moving to a new state, ending a year long romantic situationship with a coworker, finding a new job because I couldn’t stand interacting with them anymore (I start Monday), and then one of my best friends has pulled away immensely and I feel like our friendship is over. I also had a support system with two older women at work but I feel like I lost that now too because I left. I think because of all this I am having one of the worst OCD flare up’s of my life. I’m typically very social and outgoing. But I’m in my new apartment and feel like I can’t leave my room, I don’t want to explore my new neighborhood, or do anything. I just feel paralyzed inside my brain. Either I’m ruminating about one of the above situations and convincing myself I’m a bad person who doesn’t deserve stability in life, and that my life is bound to be a cycle of always starting over and pain. Or I have horrible intrusive thoughts (I imagined trimming my cat’s whiskers and then accidentally cutting his head off with scissors). I feel really hopeless because I had taken leave from my previous job for 8 weeks and now start a new job Monday but I’m panicking I’m never going to be functioning well again and I’m bound to fail at this new job. I can’t stop crying because I just want my old life back, or at least my old self back where I felt like this was a small part of my life. Right now I’m consumed by my OCD. I tried ERP when I first moved and had a complete meltdown (crying non-stop, feeling hopeless) which resulted in me taking leave from work. At this point I was working remote because I moved to a new state vs working in office everyday but still struggled even digitally interacting with my coworker I had been involved with. Leave helped a lot and I was able to have some better days, interview and find a new job, but the impending start of the new job has snapped something in me. I also just am paranoid I’ve messed up my whole life by moving, or by finding a new job, or by ever being involved with a coworker that I just keep analyzing everything but feeling scared that my life is ruined. I keep imagining everyone at work talking about me being crazy or weak for not being able to work with my coworker but every time i had interacted with him it caused horrible OCD spirals of rumination and awful instructive thoughts. I’ve found when romantic things end for me I need complete separation in order to move on but I think my bosses are disappointed in me for not being able to push through. I also am so hurt because my best friend of 7 years had lived in the house I owned and was supportive originally about me selling it after a flood scare. But as time went on she got distant and cold. And I think she was resentful I was leaving and she needed to find a new place. She also tried to have her new boyfriend’s family buy the house but unfortunately their offer wasn’t the highest one but I think she was mad I didn’t just take their offer. We had been friends for so long and i had always been there for her when things in her life fell apart. For me, I feel like this was the first major time I needed support past just a heart to heart but consistent support and I feel like she abandoned me. My other friends really stepped up and check in on me frequently and talk me through things but we’ve barely spoken since I’ve moved and I’m so hurt. In the end I had to pack up all of our shared stuff and sort it without her because she refused to help. It was so hurtful because I was just already heartbroken, and feeling alone, and scared about my future for work. Idk I think I just need hope that things will get better because I feel really alone and scared rn

I cannot tell if this is ocd or if I've realized that this relationship isn't right for me and won't last or I don't want to be in it anymore. I feel so confused or just sad and anxious. What if I'm not in love anymore

Hi! Does anyone have suggestions on ROCD exposures? Thanks!

I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts about pedophilia, I was highly addicted to porn for 2 years or more, I even masturbated a couple times to someone younger but when I did that my ocd didn’t trigger or nothing till months after thinking what if I am a pedophile, after that is when I decided to quit porn indefinitely I realized I was going too far,I always thought I was a decent person, I have never hurt anyone, I always had this idea that I could become someone people can look up to or just become someone everyone respected, I’ve always loved sports, my family and video games, but lately I haven’t been able to enjoy any of that it’s like my ocd is making me think I’ve always been like this and all my actual beliefs weren’t real that I’ve always been this horrible person, at first I would get panic attacks and disgust but now I feel kinda numb and I don’t want to feel like that cause it’s making me think that maybe I am one and my mind is getting used to it, I even feel uncomfortable talking about kids or just being around them and I have never been like that . I am a heavy nicotine and weed smoker (I’ve tried to stop since it seems to make them worse). Now it feels like I am a completely different person, I also have a girlfriend who before this i would love with everything in me, and would be afraid to lose her every time we would argue, I would even think about a child with her in the future, but now I don’t even feel love or any attraction or any of the previous feelings I would feel towards my future and I just feel it makes it even worse cause if I’m not attracted to her and all my previous beliefs feel like lies then what can I believe in? Any advice or tips? I’ll be starting therapy this week so I pray there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ll have a huge wave of thoughts rushing to me all at the same time, leaving me panicked and drained, and I can’t even tell if I like these thoughts or not which scares me even more. Then i’ll come to the conclusion that maybe I don’t have OCD and everything is real, but I don’t want it to be real. I don’t want to be a monster like that. I don’t want to cheat on my partner, be a zphile, a pdphile, a psychopath, all those crazy immoral things. I just want to be a girl living a normal happy life but I feel like i’m being punished by this OCD monster because of past events I regret. Man i’m just so tired, I don’t even know whats real or not anymore, I just want to be set free from this guilt and torment. I feel like a fault in the system, a cog that doesn’t function properly and deserves to be removed from the gift of life incase I hurt any more people around me. Im sorry if this has gotten really depressing, I just needed to rant. I saw a post online differentiating GAD and OCD, and it said that people with OCD preform constant compulsions whereas people with GAD do not, but because i’m actively trying not to engage in compulsions (like searching things up) it made me feel like I don’t actually have OCD which was a big trigger for me and I went into a spiral of feeling like an imposter. Sorry if this is a bit much to read.

I’m literally shaking panicking that I’m paychosis, sometimes I feel so weird very weird feeling and ugh I know it’s ocd but I’m scared of not remembering who my husband is or like acting crazy or having to go to a mental hospital like I don’t want that and like psychosis and ocd have very similar symptoms. I was diagnosed with OCD but I’m scared I have that and I don’t want to I’m like ugh sometimes I feel so out of myself I wake up feeling weird I feel very weird symptoms in my body I wanna be fucking normal I thought I was okay but ugh I feel so horrible right now and it also doesn’t help that I’m on my period but I just saw the word psychosis and decided to search it up and now I’m scared I have it.

I recently got engaged and then two weeks later, my partner told me they were assaulted by one of their friends. My OCD loves to wreck relationships, and I keep having intrusive thoughts that my partner cheated and is covering their tracks with a story of being assaulted. I feel like the worst person possible for having those doubts, because I know it’s highly unlikely that my partner would cheat two weeks after we got engaged. We’ve been together for almost two years with no infidelity and have had each other’s backs through rough times. I know they need my support and love right now, and it’s taking everything I have to resist my compulsions to question them and snoop for evidence of cheating. They want to move forward with planning the wedding and continue on with life, but whenever I try to plan I break down crying. I’ve been yelling at family and hiding from friends because everyone wants to know about the wedding planning. I don’t want to tell them the reason for the delay to protect my partner’s privacy. I have next to no support. I’m afraid to get help because of the risk of breaking my partner’s trust and also that people won’t understand ROCD and think I’m just being a bad person when I feel awful for having these doubts. Has anyone ever had to deal with anything like this? If so, how did you survive?

Hello all. My name is Amanda Frazier. I have ROCD. I always kinda knew that I was an over thinker, but never realized what It was 😂 So the moment that I realized that I had more than just a little tantrum thinking my husband was cheating on me has finally come. I realize now what it is. I have been married to my husband for the last 16 years. On and off I noticed that we would fight about something. Whether it be that I felt like he thought everything I did was annoying, that he deserved better than me and he finally realized it, that he was attacked to and thinking about cheating on me with other women, then finally straight accusing him for the last 3 months of cheating on me. We had gone to a concert in Dallas, and we fussed a little bit during the show, but it passed. Ge fell asleep, but I stayed up because I was still a little annoyed when I noticed his phone on his desk. I have always left his phone alone, but then I felt like I needed to look in it. There were what I thought some odd messages from numbers on it, so I decided to reverse search the number. That was the beginning of the end. For the last 3 months I have gone down the crazy rabbit hole convinced that he is lying to me, and that he has had an affair with a women I found her name on the search Website (they can be wrong) then the final straw was when I blew up and called him a liar, told him he was gaslighting me, took his phone from him, and told him I was leaving with our son and he would never see us again. We both stayed, but neither of us have spoken to each other lately about what happened. I realize now what is really making me think this way, and I am here to understand my ROCD better and learn how to handle the chaos in can cause in your life. Any advice would help out a lot. Thanks 😁

I had gotten a lot better with my OCD, in general I had a real grasp over my relationship ocd and intrusive thoughts, I was able to comfort myself and see them as just thoughts. This is really embarrassing, but I was triggered a week or so ago when my boyfriend told me one of his key rings came from a girl he slept with 1 time but was friends with (this was 6years ago and has nothing to do with me!) This trigger has led to my sexual intrusive thoughts returning, I have this thing where if I’m having a bit of ‘me time’ my brain sends me images of people I don’t want to think about at that moment in time. Two nights ago it was my boyfriend’s stepdad and I’ve felt guilty ever since. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve always had this sort of issue but I convinced myself that if I didn’t climax whilst thinking of them then it didn’t count and I could let the thought go, I didn’t climax over his stepdad but the thought now isn’t leaving me and I just don’t know what to do. I feel really alone in this and like a weirdo, does anybody else experience this sort of thing ever?

I am at the point where te love for my boyfriend feels like my ocd thoughts. Because when i’m with him, i feel good and at ease (i still can have intrusive thoughts about our relationship or wanting to be with someone else). It drives me crazy. Mainly when i feel like it is gettint better, and i get a strange ‘gut’ feeling when i think about him. I think im startint to be afraid that thats gonna be my new theme, and that is why i feel bad. Anyone has tips or the same?

TW for mental health issues, death, ptsd, ED i guess ill just start off by saying that i have struggled since i was young with severe anxiety and panic attacks since i was about five but an onslaught of CPTSD worsened a lot of things for me. i developed an eating disorder in my teens and was hospitalized for it. i’ve been in and out of therapy since i was ten and while i do my best without medication to live my life to the fullest, i often feel like i don’t deserve the successes and support i’ve received in the last few years b/c i feel like i don’t deserve to be happy at all. i saw a video recently of a girl talking about her obsessive hypochondriac thoughts that i resonated with and when i read the comments, a lot of people pointed out that it might be ocd. it hasn’t ever been a thought that crossed my mind and now im wondering if im twisting that video into some sort of self diagnosis for myself. im wondering if it’s just my high anxiety that’s causing these severely intrusive thoughts. for example, i have had a really hard time sleeping recently because the thought that i or my partner might die in my sleep keeps me up. if i have an aneurysm or a heart attack in the middle of the night and die, or worse, if my partner has an aneurysm or heart attack, is it because i don’t deserve to be happy with him? i don’t deserve a wonderful relationship? another thought i have is when i drive with us both in the car, im going to crash and severely injure both of us or kill us both. i have never once crashed my car or gotten into an accident btw, but for some reason i just get this extremely morbid thought that im going to crash and it’ll be the end. i had a weirdly spiritual experience/revelation in 2020/21 about the multiverse and i keep thinking that every night i actually die or that i get into accidents or something morbid happens and im somehow timeline jumping and going to a different multiverse and that’s been my odd way of coping with these thoughts. i guess im just trying to figure out if this is even remotely similar to OCD or if im just over analyzing it bc of my anxiety/hypochondria i guess?? i dont know i just want help. if this isn’t OCD, please tell me and i will delete this post and app and ill sincerely apologize to everyone who actually suffers. 🙏