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is it okay to take a break from reading your bible once in a while? sometimes my ocd gets really bad and reading scriptures and verses sometimes make it worse. but i feel bad for not doing it.

I have been dealing with harm ocd for two years, this crisis led me to lose my faith which was a big part of my life, to avoid friends, to lose my passion for writing… I still read and do sports but I just feel tired from having these thoughts whenever I see a stranger even though I go out and meet people. When it will go away? I feel sad and empty..

Because I struggle with false memory and real event ocd, I feel like God hates me. I remember praying to God please give me a reason to live and I honestly don't deserve it. What it makes this worse is that, I ask God to just end my life.

TW I hate that God considers others like Israel and the apostles as more special than me and the Gentiles. And I also hate that everyone has someone they would rather be with than with me.

I came downstairs and I saw a picture of God and I thought I need to go and pray by just nodding my head in the general direction twice and putting whatever I was carrying on the table to show I don't want to choose materialstic things like my phone in was carrying. But I was so exhausted from spending 20 minutes praying upstairs so I just told myself 'promise on your dad's life to not put whatever your carrying down' so I didn't but then as I left I thought 'do this for 30 minutes' so I couldn't put my phone down for 30 minutes because I had accidentally promised too but I did it by accident and now I feel bad because wasn't it a promise on my dad's life? And then I sat down and I felt the urge to go and apologise to God for putting my phone down but then I quickly promised 'to not get up for 30 minutes' but then I FORGOT AGAIN and I feel so bad I don't know what to do. I was just exhausted because I had a really important exam and I need to start revising again for the next one. I don't even know if this is OCD or sounds like it.

Hi everyone. I really want to go back to enjoying my life. I know its possible as i felt like this before 7 years ago but i am to much in my head to remember how i snapped out of it. I keep having panic attacks. I know there panic attacks. I know there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I know im not gonna just drop dead. Yet i keep getting anxious. I absolutely love my life. I have a job i enjoy. A loving husband and two beautiful children. Although we have normal life struggles i am still happy with my life. Yet 4 weeks ago my panic attacks started again. After being dormant for 7 years. Im afraid of death and leaving my family and life. I dont know why i am so afraid. I am a Christian (although i dont go to church) i believe in God and i believe my life is planned out for me. I believe whatever is gonna happen will happen and we are just along for the ride. I know whenever my times comes it will be my time. No amount of panicking will change that. I guess despite my faith i am human and the unknown of death and the fear if what i believe isnt real i could cease to exist and thats terrifying. I just want to be able to take on life not living in fear.

I've struggled for years thinking if I offend God, he'll unalive me in my sleep. I think every pain is a sign I've offended him. The issue is, I'm not religious. Not in that way. I was raised pagan. But my brain is like "God is gonna kill you" and I obsess over dying. Im terrified. Because i believethere is life after death but my brain wont let me believe it in bad obsessive times. Am I alone in this?

I just want my brain to stop. I feel like I can’t even talk to anyone about it anymore because I’m just bothering my boyfriend with my problems at this point. I have compulsively vented since elementary school about my intrusive thoughts, and that’s all I’ve ever known. I’m afraid of almost everything and can’t even get on an airplane. I don’t even have the money to afford specialized therapy for OCD. I keep thinking I might be God and everyone else is fake, getting scared at that thought and upset for even thinking it, but still continuing to think it. I’ve been stuck in bed all day. The worst part is nobody can give me reassurance because they could just be a figment of my imagination, so I’m just stuck in this loop.

When I was 13 (4years ago) I went through a period of time in lockdown where I was obsessed where I was obsessed with the idea that my parents would get COVID and I was sure they would get it and die even though they're young/not at risk. I had: prayers repeating in the back of my mind 24/7 Everytime I went downstairs I'd say a prayer, everytime I reached the top id put my phone in a risky position to show id sacrifice materialistic pleasures and say a prayer, I prayed in multiples of 5 (4people in my family plus God,) I assigned all of my family a teddy bear and said a prayer whilst hugging each one, I kept praying by shutting my eyes every second, when I was about to go to school id have to quickly take my shoes off and pray which meant od be late but I couldn't not do it and ignore the prayer for my parents to not get COVID Then I became obsessed with the idea that I could be gay- my brain told me this 100X over and I couldn't concentrate on work Then I thought I'd definitely have cancer and I thought every little thing wrong with me was a big scary illness- my screen time on google was 10+ hours a day during the second lockdown HERE is where I don't know if I have OCD. All these went away but I still pray all the time and if j see a picture of god I can't ignore it I have to pray. I'm so obsessed with the idea that my dad could get cancer now and I keep praying that he won't. Materialistic pleasures (e.g smell, taste, sight) are ignorance in my religion so I keep thinking if I give them up my dad won't get cancer. Everytime Im about to do something like a play a song my brain thinks 'give that up' or sacrifice it and I have to or else I think my dad will get cancer. It got so bad I couldn't eat or sleep or even study Now I can do things like listen to music if I 'promise to God to do it' (not on my Dad's life) The thing is I don't know if these knew symptoms look like OCD. They just look weird and I'm scared I don't actually have OCD because j can't get diagnosed until next year ( I don't want to tell my parents) and I was just wondering if anyone could help me figure it out :)

Hi guys! I’m Kells I’m 25 and I was diagnosed ocd when I was around 16. Ever since I can remember I’ve been terrified of losing loved ones. It was about my parents passing away when I was young and now I’m worried constantly that my fiancé will pass when I’m not with him. It’s magical thinking like I have control. But I know I don’t and that’s terrifying. I know logically it’s not likely, but ocd works with fear. And I’m terrified of losing him. I even had a dream when we first started dating saying he would die young and I’m petrified that was a “sign”. The other aspect of my ocd has been religious and afterlife fears. I’m scared of dying and what it’ll feel like. I’m scared that if I don’t believe in a religion like Christianity and it becomes true I will burn in hell. I’m just scared.

I love God & Jesus so much and having these awful blasphemous thoughts suck! I’ve been through this before and eventually got over it but it came back! I get cussing thoughts, rejection thoughts and just the opposite thoughts of who I am and what I value! I love them so much and I get scared what if I’ve said these intrusive thoughts out loud! I don’t think I have but the thoughts can be just so loud! Any advice to move forward past these thoughts? I’m trying to remind myself God & Jesus loves me no matter what but it can be hard when I’m being plagued by these blasphemous thoughts that make you doubt yourself too! Makes you doubt if you’re a Christian for these awful thoughts! Please any advice? Will God & Jesus be with me no matter what? I love them so much!

I know people with religious ocd are obsessing about their salvation, i would throw the "mine is different"card in, let me tell you my story. So I learned that salvation is a free gift, you cant lose it and God forgives all of our sins if we accept Christ as our saviour, and we cant lose our salvation, i kept myself feeling good with this information, but then i got attacked by ocd thoughts, two of my worst obsessions, harm ocd and suicidal ocd, and there were times when these thoughts came up that its okay if i act on them cause God will forgive me. Even got me into a cycle where i was searching on the net about other people opinion about if people dying by suicide goes to heaven or hell, i know this is a sensitive topic. Then i realized this whole thing has to start from a bad belief that i have,a distortion, and that distortion is that once you turn to Christ, all of your sins are forgiven cause we are humans and we will never stop sinning. And i started to realize this isnt true, turning to Christ doesnt mean we are still turning to sin. Paul talks about this, but he doesnt says if turning back to sinful life will make you lose your salvation, but i dont feel like thats fair... I used to watch videos about prison life, and in one of those videos there was a maffia member who used to kill people, he turned to Christ and beliefs in Christ,but when he was asked what he will do when he gets out he said he will go back killing people cause he cant imagine another life. Does that mean that he is saved? I dont think so, Christ death is not a free card for sin, and as much as im really judging right now,im sinful of this too, cause i have sexual sin and many times i said its okay cause God forgives me, and i used it so i can still act on the sin. Its not fair against non believers to say that we get away with this cause we believe in Christ and his sacrifice. I think accepting his sacfrice also means that we live a life that is acceptable for that,we wont stop sinning, but it doesnt mean we can kill people, do bad things cause we are saved... Im sorry this is really long but now i want to talk about how this realization, that im using the gift of God to still sin might mean that im not really saved and the Holly Spirit it might not be in me cause many times i struggle to see my sexual sins and other sins like joking/ swearing as a sin, even when people explain it i dont understand. So the first point might be true that accepting Christ doesnt mean we live in sin cause that will make us lose the meaning, I get obsession that its okay to act on the ocd thoughts cause im saved, but now im wondering if im actually saved, and im feeling really guilty.

I am in extreme depression now. I am not getting a job. I graduated almost 9 years ago and still jobless. I really want to earn money and live an independent life. I am 30 years old and still not married. These things are causing me anxiety. It doesn't mean i haven't tried. I really tried my best to get a job and get married but all in vain. I also prayed alot. I am not impatient. I bore patience for a long time but now its getting harder for me. I feel so miserable. Please pray for me. I feel like giving up. 😭😭😭😭

I'm 17, and Im really obsessed with the idea that my mum could get cancer and I feel like I have to pray that she doesn't and every time I walk past a picture of God I can't be ignorant I'll have to pray. My thought process just now: 'Ok, so you don't take an hour praying, tell God you'll be done within 5 minutes and then you'll have to keep your word' Please god, help my mum not to get cancer, and all the other things I pray for I end up repeating this phrase again and again I could finish within the 5 minutes but something tells me this is offending God so I have to take longer I am exhausted from repeating it again and again Then I say 'I will only repeat this 5 more times and then trust you God, honestly' I end up repeating it 6 times by accident. I feel so bad I beg god for mercy and then I touch the wall once I feel like that was a sign of mercy somehow, I touch the picture behind God and then I tell God to give me all of that bad karma and not my mum To solidify this I have to touch the wall twice I can't see a psychiatrist but I have this kind of thing in my head 24/7 especially at night and when I'm trying to revise I can literally only focus when I promise to God that I will otherwise my head is just spiralling with thoughts like this Am I crazy :( I feel like I am

I have religious OCD. I love God & Jesus so much! But I’ve notice I get nervous when videos come up about God & Jesus because I get intrusive thoughts & feelings. For example randomly I’ll get negative feelings or thoughts on a sweet video of someone talking about God and how good He is. But it’s like sometimes my body (feelings) and mind (thoughts) will throw these things at me and make me feel a different way sometimes. I don’t like it! Does anyone else get this? Any advice?

I was raised in a Christian fundamentalist environment. As a kid/teen, I was having panic attacks and experiencing crippling doubt and uncertainty, specifically involving the concept of hell. The idea that anyone could do anything to completely invalidate their life was, and still is, a very triggering thought for me. I have since left behind all forms of Christian thinking (or so I thought), but after some sessions with my therapist, it’s starting to feel like just traded one dogma for another in the form of OCD. Not intentionally, of course, but the thought patterns that led me to spend so many months terrified of hell and eternal punishment seem to rear their ugly heads when it comes to OCD and the punishment I feel I “deserve.” Has anyone else experienced this? Is the ex-Christian to OCD pipeline real?

I don’t know how anyone does it! I’ve tried so hard to face my intrusive thoughts because I’m so tired of my mind telling me to do things over and over or else my mom will die. I know it won’t happen but my mind refuses to let me let it go. I don’t mean to bother anyone who isn’t religious but I just have to also get this off my chest. I’ve never been more ashamed of myself for how I’ve acted today revolving God. I love God more than anything and yet I can never fully put my faith in him because I’m so scared. No matter how many quotes and bible verses I read telling me to let go of my fear, I can’t. I’m terrified to even move at this point. I understand I need to get a job and get outside more. But how can I do that when I too scared to leave my bed because I know what my day will consist of. All I do is sleep because I’m so drained, I’ve completely lost myself. I just keep telling myself others have it worse because it’s true, I just wish these thought would go away because I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy.

I really need help I keep making promises on accident to God. I don't know if this makes any sense. I used to think that if j gave into materialistic things like chocolate and music and films something bad would happen and I ended up finding it really hard I even starved myself. Now I can get myself to do things by thinking things like 'I promise on my dad's life to eat this chocolate for example' or I promise on my dads life to not do the compulsion of touching this picture of God twice' and I actually feel able to live my life. But... I keep accidentally making promises to God on my dad's life like if I promised to watch all of movie, I would have to try not to blink at any part so I would be able to watch ALL of it and not break the promise. I'll be getting ready to leave my room and my head will say 'promise on your dad's life not to leave for another hour' and I was stuck. I thought it was all okay but recently it feels like my broken promises are having an effect on my dad I don't know why I just feel like it is and I begged God for them to not have any affect but I don't know, I really hope they don't I couldn't live with myself.

How do I forgive myself? Last night I spent 3 hours searching online how Jesus is true or not. I finally gave in to compulsion big time, and even then I feel I need to do more. Cause I stopped searching cause I felt so tired. How can I go back to before? I felt I lost my progress that I have been working on for the past 2 1/2 years. I’m in despair right now.

it’s gotten to the point where it’s way too hard to pray. i can’t pray. so many bad thoughts at once and it’s too much and i can’t tell which ones are mine bc there’s too much. I can’t read the bible or anything. and then i get thought that makes me feel bad for not praying or reading my bible and it’s awful. ik God is good but these thoughts are scary and not okay and i’m afraid He doesn’t want me anymore and idk what to do. i try to reason with myself but it only does so much. i just can’t deal with it and ive prayed ab my ocd but it hasn’t gone away