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I keep having horrible nightmares of me doing terrible things to people. Like being a sexual deviant or something and it scares me and makes me feel bad about myself. Is this normal?

Thing is that i'm OBSESSED with a girl, i think about her all day and i hate this, i love My boyfriend, but she appears everywere and un everything, Even in unrelated things, She's a classmate and it's the third time i have an HOCD obsession with her, it makes me think and tried to make me believe im really in love with her, to also make me think i'm gay and makes me feel as if i don't want to be with my bf anymore, when i really love him and this actually started when i was scared of my bf falling in love with her.. i don't know what to do anymore, because Even if i Say i don't like her, it feels as if i'm lying, and also feels that i don't like My bf anymore which makes it Even MORE real, is this OCD? It feels like denial, but after the first 2 OCD obsessions with her i kept going with my normal life and loved My bf normally (Even tho i still had HOCD), pls answer:( i'm not gay, also, it came back because she cut her hair and now uses glasses, which i thought she looked cute or good in, but was scared of my boyfriend liking her, then it turned into, what if i liked her to directly thinking i'm in love with her (which i'm not and saying that made me anxious)..PLD READ I NEED ANSWERD :(

Today I watched a podcast that I thought would help me with HOCD but actually stressed me out even more. I can’t stop overthinking things I did in the past, how I didn’t mind it or stop it, analyzing past thoughts that could be “signs”, and convincing myself that I am in denial. I even have thoughts that if I just accept this then everything will be okay however when I get that thought I get scared because I have a girlfriend I truly love, even though I’m confused with my feelings and emotions I know that I’ve always loved her. I’m extremely scared that I’ll end up just finding out I’m gay and it’s almost like I already know the answer but won’t admit it. I really don’t know how else to explain it but it’s causing a lot of sadness and stress. Is this common for anyone else out there?

Hello, so my biggest problem and possibly the biggest gate from me escaping Hocd is well, false attraction. So the feelings and thoughts I get get 100 percent of the time aren't sexually(don't get groinal responses, never in my life and still to this day don't want to have sex with dudes or see them naked. Nor romantical thoughts really(il get images but I kind of identify it as,"if I liked them, I would keep it going, like I romanticize about women before hocd") but the physical feeling is what's messing me up. its like now 60 percent of dudes I see attractive now, and I dont want to be attracted to them. it just feels now like physical attraction or emotional attraction, i keep getting the urge to look at them and i feel like idk how to explain like tense or some feeling that i cant explain maybe? and what sucks is when I try to say,"its Just HOCD, you never felt like this," and now i get doubts or it feels like i did get these thoughts. I'm just asking if this is just hocd again because it feels very real, and what sucks is Ido if I have distress or anxiety feeling anymore

Straight people don't question their sexuality, spiraling again.

4 years ago I had hocd with a girl classmate, I was scared of being gay and like her, not so long ago my ocd came back, that thought came back and then changed to another girl, now AGAIN came back, because he changed her style and now have glasses, I can accept she looks pretty, but it started when I was scared of my boyfriend falling in love with her, now I think about her constantly like, having the need to be better than her, I hate this I don't have life, it started today because I dreamed about her chasing my bf.. I want my bf to see that I am in fact prettier and better than her but then, my hocd just comes and tells me it's me who is in love and in denial.. I hate this, I love my boyfriend, I'm not gay and I don't like her.. help does someone knows what's happening???!!?

Haven’t tested myself in a week maybe now my mind is trying to see if I like it now what do I do

Why can't I figure this out and why when I try to it makes me feel like I am gay? I feel so depressed I was starting to be myself again and I was so happy even got a girlfriend and was working out and about to get a job too but now it's all lost I hav wno motivation to do anything, when I check gay porn I get aroused, when I imagine scenarios no matter what I get aroused I guess I've lost. I've never been homophobic or saw it as wrong but I also was never interested in men I always had crushes and fantasized about women and wanting to only be with women but now it feels like I can't even do that. I'm also noticing men alot more now too as handsome or pretty boy faced and it's making me feel even more in denial ): I fucking hate this so much I would do anything to go back to my comfortable happy self who was straight and girl crazy. I really hope this isn't all real I don't want any of this i just want to be straight not because of society but that's what made me the happiest and most fulfilling version of myself. I just don't understand why it all feels so real? Why I can't no matter what have certainty that stops me from checking? Why does porn cause arousal? Why do I notice men alot more? Even now I still don't want sex or a relationship especially a relationship because the thought of being intimate with a man isn't something I want and would make me uncomfortable and sex causes arousal but it's not something I want unlike women I desire it I want it. It makes me feel all fuzzy and good inside.

It's so hard for me to stop arguing with my thoughts?

when did ocd start for everyone? i remember having some small like perfection things like if i didn’t close my eyes and fall asleep at a certain number then i would die. but at age 12 hocd started and i got groinal repsonsss,guilt,everything. it slowed down then in august picked up at full speed and its awful.

why me why me that’s the question I ask myself every day every moment every minute every second of my life, my sexual orientation, obsessive compulsive disorder has been driving me crazy, I don’t know what to do no OCD for session is $170 and I live in UK. I am living in on benefits I can’t pay $170 for each session and I really need my OCD therapy like that way. I don’t like girls that way I don’t like girls that as the question I asked or rather say to myself every day every minute every second every second I get I only love love boys love men why is it so hard for my OCD to understand that? I don’t have a clue. Please can you help me I’m not asking for reassurance but I like to put everything in a writing message, so I can be with the unwanted thoughts I get about my sexuality, generally hate girls in that way my urges, my images and my unwanted thoughts are killing me right now

For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.

Not good today! I’ve been struggling with the thoughts again after having a little bit where I was managing. Just saw an advert of a woman putting on lipstick and it really triggered me looking at her lips like I felt a rush in my body and aroused and then a thought like being with a woman it what you really want….that’s why you’ve not been happy with your ex and why you have lost the attraction to men and find dating scary 🙈🙈I hate this! It was like a rush of excitement but made me feel so panicky and sick cause I don’t want that! I want to be with a man and have more kids! I’ve always wanted romance with a man! Sex now scares me cause of all the anxiety like it’s telling me I enjoy sex with a woman more but that’s not what I want! I used to like sex with men but I’ve always been more of a romantic than a sexual person HELP 😫

I feel so disconnected from myself. Like everything I’ve ever been happy and comfortable with has been a lie. I don’t know what and what not to believe anymore. I feel like I’m straight/bi now. I keep having these thoughts that tell me “you’ll get with a man and like it. You know it” and I hate it. I hate the groinal response I get with sexual intrusive thoughts too. I try to keep in mind that attraction is supposed to feel good and natural, but OCD tricks me into thinking that the hypotheticals DO feel good. Just never natural. I hate it.

It’s so hard to deal with the conflicting feelings that come up. It’s hard but sometimes I’m able I to feel love for my bf again and want to continue being with him, I enjoy our intimacy and the bond we share, but my mind keeps screaming at me that something’s wrong and I don’t want to be with him 😭 that I wouldn’t be happy with him in the future even though everytime we’re together I never want to leave or have it be over. Everytime I try to envision myself with a woman the fact that’s there’s no anxiety and feels calm to think about is so scary to the fact that I’m anxious when I think about a future w my bf and it feels like it’s not what I want:(

Up until who knows when, i was always straight and showed no signs of being gay, and this is what i know for sure. I do not remember what its like being attracted to girls anymore, it has been so long, i do not know what i want at this point. I do not know what is hocd or what isnt anymore, i feel like i have been so worried about being gay for so long that i dont even feel the symptoms of hocd anymore. People say “if you feel like being gay ruins your image” or “if you get anxiety when thinking gay thought or feeling gay feelings, then you are not gay and that is false attraction” but i dont feel anxiety anymore with those, i feel anxiety when thinking about being in relationships with women now, idrk if it is being gay that does that or being hurt by past relationships so much that it does. I cant tell what feeling is what or anything. I know i was feeling what people say are signs of being straight at some point but i do not anymore. The feeling of being gay and gay feelings or thoughts are overtaking me and its like i am gay at this point but i just dont want to be and i dont know why i dont want to be anymore. I just need advice and i dont know what to do.

Have you had nights where you didnt sleep completely because of the hocd ? I didnt sleep the whole night yesterday 💔

I hate to admit this but I used to watch a lot of porn. I always had crushes on boys and wanted a boyfriend all my life. And I indentified as heterosexual. I’ve had this theme twice and gotten over when another theme took over. Unfortunately I watched a lot of female porn, and woman to woman porn and now my mind is telling me I’m bisexual. I’m so sick of this cus I don’t wanna be bisexual. I get false attractions all around. Am I suppressing sexuality? I feel so ashamed. Completely stopped watched porn.

I was in the back seat of the car and my granda was directly in front of me and my little sister was standing up directly in front of me and so she bend over for something and her bottom touched my knee i am absolutely freaking out i feel like my life is over 😣

I had these horrible nightmares that covered the most disturbing of my ocd subtypes and intrusive thoughts. They were so vivid and all disturbing and I just woke up. Thoughts of what if it’s something you want or other what ifs. And I’m so uncomfortable which is an understatement. I don’t even want up get up because I’m so uncomfortable. This is awful