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Is it possible to beat SOCD by yourself?

I was thinking about random stuff and then started thinking about what it would be like to raise a baby. After thinking that I had a random wave of arousal? I know it wasn’t from thinking of babies but I’m still worried it was. How do you know if it was or not? I wasn’t even thinking of babies specifically just what it would be like having one. It was random arousal and scared me.

I need help because I’m really struggling right now. There is a masc woman/lesbian athlete that came up on my tik tok and it feels like I have a crush on her. Now I keep getting intrusive sexual images about her. I don’t want to have a crush on a girl but it feels so real. I absolutely hate this and want to cry because now I feel like Im attracted to her. Has this happened to anyone else???

Recently I’ve been feeling like if I look at myself in the mirror and think I look good / hot that this means I’m attracted to the same sex because I’m female and I think I look amazing, so I obviously think other females are hot too then. It feels like such a warped way of thinking 😭. Can’t wait to have my first therapy session soon and finally start to beat this!

Does ocd put these types of thoughts in your head about anyone that’s even remotely attractive… stuff like “they look good or would look good naked” and puts images there of them people like I don’t want to think this stuff it makes me feel actually disgusting. Especially when it’s saying it about people from my past I don’t want to think this stuff at all. I hate this illness. How am I meant to ignore these thoughts I feel horrible I love my boyfriend so much

Hello guys I just got recently diagnosed with OCD last year along with anxiety I've had since the day I can remember. And with MDD which I've figured for awhile I had but never got diagnosed for it till last year in November. Just to summarize with what I have I guess. Anyways I've struggled with Harm Ocd mainly, it's only really been that along with contamination and just little other themes but never been main ones. More so the first one I said. But recently I've had a new main theme I guess I could say and it's POCD I think, if that's what I have or if I'm potentially am one, I'm just not sure. So about a month ish ago I started just thinking about ages and stuff and like idk I guess I was just thinking, and then I remember thinking about how I thought my younger brothers friend was cute but not in a sexual way just like a oh he's cute. And I have a boyfriend and I told him all of this already just a fyi. But it's because I noticed he had really nice eyes and the first thing I notice in people are eyes. So one day I did ask him if they were contacts because it did seem a bit like sus haha, but anyways my brother said they were and I was like I knew it. But now been thinking like I can't be finding someone younger than me cute or attractive. I'm 22 and he's 4 years younger than me. But I guess to get straight to the point I've just been overthinking a lot and now when I see people underage or teens and so on I did get nervous looking at them especially at work or just in public places. Or if I saw a younger person than me, for example had nice hair I would think oh wow he has nice hair but then I'll start like looking at them more and I guess almost testing myself to see if I'm attracted and so on. And I'd covience myself I am. At least that's what I think. But I did tell my boyfriend all of this and he told me he thinks it's me just noticing attractive features but not in a sexual way. Like if someone underage had really nice eyes or like cute freckles or something that's a "normal" thing but he thinks I'm taking it to the extreme. I can't really quite explain it well by what he means but hopefully it makes sense. And I've always been attracted to people my age or older like celebs and stuff. I remember a few years ago when I was 18 there was a new movie that came out and I thought the guy was cute, and I watched it over and over cause I did like the movie too. But I remember I was looking up the cast after watching it like 5 times that week, and I saw he was 17 or 16 turned 17, and I was like nope he's too young for me. And it sounds stupid but I was never really into people 1 year younger than me before. And ironically my bf is like 10 months younger than me but he looks older and people always think he's 26. So I guess I'm just kinda confused, like now there's a family friend we have, not that close but fb friends type of thing with my mom. And her kid has cancer now, and he's like maybe 8 or 9, but I looked at the pic and was like that sucks you know. Just found out last night too. And then I went to see if she posted any updates about him, but it was the same pic and I was like looking at him and I was like oh he's cute, like a cute kid and then I was like dang, he looks like his dad A LOT. Because he grew a bit compare to the last time I saw him. Ugh even typing this is making me sound like a creep. But like I was saying I was just like dang he looks like his dad a lot and I use to think my family friends dad was cute haha but like I said not in a desire way, like even my mom thought he was cute and my best friend too haha. But I did went through her fb to look at her pics and I would see him in every pic and I just would keep checking if I'm attracted to him or not and so on and it just confuses me because I'm like I use to think his dad was a handsome looking dude and now his kid really looks like him. So now I'm thinking like maybe I am, and like idk just disturbing thoughts pop up. And I will say before those thoughts came up, I was telling my mom we should make a superhero basket for him with toys and fun stuff to cheer up the family and him. And all those thoughts came after that. So honestly I'm just at a lost. I just can't tell if I am or not or if I'm a danger to underage teens and kids. I just feel very disentitize to all of this now too, like I said a month ago I was pretty like stressed out and worried and just overthink and cry here and there because I was like nope it can't be. But now I just feel numb and like I just feel like I don't care anymore, sometimes it'll come up and I'm like I just don't care about this anymore and move on. Or if I'm like oh he was cute or attractive or had a nice smile it just doesn't give me anxiety anymore it just like oh well. Like I don't know and my Depression comes in episodes every other few weeks so I do get emotionally numb sometimes. I guess what I wanna say is sometimes I think I'll be a predator or a groomer and I just get worried it will happen but right now I don't feel much. But like before I'd worry about it and stuff. And I just don't know what to do, and if I am, like I don't know I just feel lost and confused. And I'm asexual too, so that probably explains why I never see anyone and think sexual things with them, even with Adults. And here's the main thing too. I've been through SA trauma when I was younger for a bit. And growing up I always hated those types of people and stuff, like I always told myself I'd protect kids etc. And even considered being a CPS too throughout my life. Like I don't know I've always wanted to help out those in need. But I remember reading something about how a "P" people were victims of that so that's why they are the way they are. And I know a lot of them don't do that. But it just makes me think since I went though it maybe I'll be one too. And be a hypocrite to everything I've told myself growing up. So sometimes I think I'm just messed up in the head now, I really think having the Harm ocd type was so much easier because I'd just avoid certain objects and stuff. But this is just different and I will say about a week ago I did feel digusted because I was like if this is what I am, like why? Like sometimes I just think maybe I want to and so on etc. The Harm ocd theme I had was completely different than this, like I was afraid to do anything or even use scissors to cut a tag off my shirt and intrusive thoughts would kick in. I even stopped seeing my Bf for awhile because i thought I was gonna hurt him and so on .So this one has been tricky and such. I'm just confused. And I know you're not supposed to reassure on here because of OCD, I just needed to vent. And I wanted to ask for suggestions on where to get help or how to go about this? I've been wanting to talk to my mom about this because she has been there for me when all this ocd stuff happened last year but I'm just afraid to. It's been a Rollercoaster for the past 2 Years since I've been dealing with medical issues that causes me to use mobility aids and stuff. So I've just been in a deep tunnel and I'd just like to talk to someone or get advice on where to get help for this. Or who to talk to. I've been afraid to post on here because this subject is tricky. But I just needed to express what's been going on in my mind. Obviously there's a lot more to it but this is what's been on my mind today. I'm sorry it's a long message, but thank you to anyone who responds.

I feel like now I’m just completely in denial and the next step is acceptance. I love my boyfriend will all of my heart and I really don’t want to leave him but now I’m scared I have to. I also just read something someone left on someone else’s post saying how exploring your sexuality is something you should not be ashamed of and should try. That just completely sent me over the edge. The thing is I want to like boys but I feel like at this point it’s not my choice I was just born to be a lesbian and I have to accept that even though it’s not what I want. I feel like this is something my relationship can never recover from and now I just have to break up with my boyfriend and move away to be with a woman. I don’t want to hurt him ever and that’s truly my biggest fear. Every time I feel happy with him there’s always the thought in the back of my head that I would be happy doing the same things with a girl and it truly ruins the moment. I can’t get this out of my head and I would really appreciate some advice. I just want to know I like boys too so I can stay with him forever but I know I am never going to find the reassurance I need so I feel like I’m never gonna get over this bc it’s just the truth. This is so painful I don’t know what to do at this point

I deadass feel so gross right now. So I just turned 20 and I feel stupid for doing this. I took a shower and I ran back to my room in a towel, and my 15-year-old step-nephew was asleep on the couch. I brought clothes with me to the bathroom to throw on after, but because the bathroom was so damp and I felt extremely disgusting (contamination OCD), I decided to go to my room where I feel more comfortable and less like there’s mold on me. I ran to my room and hoped that he was still asleep. I realized my towel was super short. What if I did that on purpose because I’m a pedophile? I’m so tired. Please give me any help at all. And I genuinely feel so dumb for doing that because it is lowkey weird. I’m 20 and smarter than that, but I just couldn’t stand the dampness. I genuinely feel like it was my fault and I should’ve done better and now the guilt is gonna eat me up til I no longer wanna be here. Just being real. ✌🏽

Can somebody relate to these terrifying and reality-shattering doubts? Today I went through a very bad ocd episode after reading a triggering comment. It felt like we don't actually have innate morals, that there is nothing separating me from being a monster. I started spiraling into disturbing questions and I got scared a lot. "If you try to like it maybe you could like it". I was so scared how easily I could see myself becoming a **** who's attracted to that horrible stuff. I was too terrified about the fact that maybe I could start being attracted to that stuff in my head, and that scenario happened TOO easily. I'm not attracted by that stuff, it makes me throw up and cry, but in my head it felt so terrifyingly easy to become a deplorable monster like all those abusers in the world, this parallel reality felt so real and easy. Like all the **** on Hollywood must have become like that because they were exposed to it and they learned to like that perversion right? They're all in it. I got triggered very badly about that scenario, that if I got exposed to it I could start to like it. That my brain could adapt itself to liking it. I don't know how to explain it, I don't even know if you guys can relate to this terrible feeling. It felt in my head like there is a very thin wall separating me from being like a ****, that there is very fragile wall for me, that if I were to be exposed to that stuff that I could actually enjoy that horrible stuff. It's a reality that terrifies me, and in my head this scenario happened too easily, like I'm destined to it or I'm in denial, like "it's a matter of time", and once I try to check if I like it I could actually like it. Like I always avoid little girls, and everytime I notice them I always get triggered and feel distress, but I tried to accept the distress and move on, thinking that it was ocd making feel like I was falsely-attracted, and that I was actually only triggered and nothing else - I never went beyond that - but what if I put it in my mind to accept that I actually liked what I saw? How easy would it be to realise that maybe I was actually attracted and in denial? Or maybe if I crossed the veil of OCD I could discover a horrible truth that I never wanted to know? It's the distress that's making me feel sane, but if I went beyond that? If I tried to experiment the liking would I actually become what I fear the most? Just like that, easily? I'll never cross that veil, because I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. But the fact that maybe under it lies an uncomfortable truth will always keep me in uncertainty and unclear about my identity. Of course I would never look up that stuff, I would kill myself, but my head conjured me that I could like it, that it's like something sleeping that it's just waiting to be woke up. I can't tolerate it at all. Those horrible people in Hollywood, they discovered that they liked it after being exposed to it, what if I'm just like them? I could go live all my life just like now, without knowing, but what if in their same scenarion I would have been one of those person that could have like it just like them? I also suddenly got remembered again about that traumatic memory of that person sending an illegal gif out of nowhere, and it was accompanied by this disturbing thought "maybe you could like it". I also had another triggering episode, I was on instagram and a trigger appeared, and I start checking it repeatedly. I was afraid that because I noticed the trigger I was attracted by it so I was trying to find an answer. I need answers, not reassurance, I need to know if you guys experience this too.

do you guys often confuse being triggered with actually being attracted. I struggle with this a lot.

I put in a trigger warning, have others done things such as “am I gay” quizzes or tests on the internet? If so, how did you stop?

Does anyone ever have really good days where you think all these thoughts were just silly and then suddenly everything hits you and you can't escape? Do you also question whether it's really OCD or not?

I grew up very conservative and strict and it definitely fed my ocd. I parted ways with religion because of how I never felt “good enough” even though I tried to follow all of the rules. This was after my church community escorted me from the campus because of the rumor that I was gay, even though I was an 18 year old and had poured my heart and soul into to ministry. Now, even though I’m not religious, I still get so afraid about god and religion and that I’m being “called back to god” like my parents and family begs in their prayers for me every day. Like certain numbers or sayings either feel like messages from god or messages from the devil to try and trick me. The thing is that now, I finally have a comfortable life after being abandoned because they thought I was gay, and I’ve finally rebuilt and have so much better of a life. But I keep getting painful thoughts that this is all a rouse and that satan is intentionally making my life “comfortable” (which I still face a lot of stuff because I have had to grow up and figure things out myself) to trick me from coming back to god. Even though I was severely abused and harmed and manipulated by that community, I’m so scared they are right and that me fighting for my freedom was all a waste, and that I’m going to hell. I do things to mitigate this now like burn incense and repeat phrases and other things but I’m so scared that “god” is trying to save me and call me back to him, and that the people who harmed me so bad were right to and should even more now. It’s so disheartening because I truly feel like I have worked hard to find love and safety with my loving partners and found family. But to my parents, and to my ocd, I’m just living in sin awaiting hell. How do I “expose” myself to this? Like how to I break the fear? It’s lead me to do harmful things to myself, like pulling my head out, scratching, hitting myself, and some other self harm that I feel like I can’t control. It’s really impacting my life and my loved ones now who have seen me conquer so much are now seeing me in such a dark place, and it hurts them too. So the question is are these things signs from god for me to leave this beautiful and safe life I’ve built to fling myself back into a life that is physically and emotionally painful but for the sake of my soul? Or just my ocd that probably stems from growing up in that environment?

I honestly do not have a desire to be sxeual with a woman (I am a woman) nor do I see myself in a relationship with a woman romantically but since this theme has popped up again I panic around pretty women. What if me acknowledging she is pretty or has a nice figure means I want to have sex with her. I don't.

I feel like when I watch escenes of women performing oral sex I want to do it too, but this didn't happen before, it feels like it really turns me on, and regular porn it's not as exciting, almost not arousing, is this something that can happen?

Tw, groinal responses (18+ convo) Can someone tell me what the difference between a groinal response and true arousal is? Is there any true way of knowing other than you don’t want a groinal response? My groinal responses tingle, sometimes feel like I need to pee or a stinging feeling (I’m a female) and it’s usually mainly focused on just the feeling between the legs and nothing else. When I’m feeling arousal (from what I know) there’s a core heat and aching up the loins then pleasant feeling. I feel calmer in this state then with what I assume is groinal responses. That’s the only way I think to see them differently. If anyone is an ADULT and would like to also talk about their experiences, leave a comment below thanks

If anyone wants to talk, or put together a support group with a bunch of us so that we can chat and be there to support each other that would be great for me! I have been having a really hard time with HOCD recently accompanied by False Memory and Real Event OCD, and I don’t really have anyone who understands or can agree with me on this. Not for reassurance purposes but just for peer support! Would be helpful!

I feel so unhappy. I have the most beautiful guy in the world as a boyfriend, and living with my intrusive thoughts is becoming unbearable. I just want to feel in love with him as I were before, with no intrusive thoughts. My ocd started all in a sudden: one day I was so in love and obsessed with him and the day after I started ruminating and never stopped. I can’t handle this anymore, it seems like I’m denying something that it is inevitable, that is I can’t love him because I’m lying to myself about my sexual orientation. I’m so tired, really, I don’t want to be lesbian because I don’t like being with girls, I don’t like the idea of being with a woman, I don’t want to be sexually involved with them, I don’t want to marry a woman. But then when I think about it, I automatically think that it’s because of society that taught us to behave as heterosexual. I really love my boyfriend, I think my ocd started because I am so scared to loose him. I love spending time with him, I love when he is around, I love talking to him, I can see myself in a future life with him, and he’s the perfect person to have children with. I just want this for my life, is it possible that everything can change from one day to another?

Hello fellow OCD sufferers; Long story short I will be purchasing my own place and taking on some responsibilities that I’ve never had before (taking on and caring for a family members pet). Maybe I was ignorant to everything, but it suddenly hit me in the face overwhelmingly with stress and anxiety how much this was going to take and this new endeavor. While it should be “good stress”, my OCD will take what it can and my dormant SO-OCD has started to get rear its head. My question to you all is, in times of stress and change, does your OCD flare up or get worse? If so, how do you pull it back in, and lessen the noise as well as the stress/anxiety.

Hi, i have been on and off with my SOOCD and I have been really good at understanding that my thoughts are just thoughts, yesterday i seen a masculine lesbian and it triggered me and I got severe anxiety because I was expecting some thoughts to come as I had been triggered. I then got thoughts “you find her attractive don’t lie”, when I seen her I do not personally think she is attractive looks wise and all that, but all my mind is saying to me now is I do and I am lying and it’s started to just get to me i just want to shut off and get the thoughts away from me😫then I seen on tiktok this person had SOOCD and then turns out they were gay and I just am spiraling.