Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Has anyone have had any experience with prozac (fluoxotine)? I have to take it and I'm very much afraid of the side effects like suicidal thoughts, more anxiety, but over that I have MAAJOR anxiety about having serotonin syndrome..

Please no nastiness. Myself and my boyfriend have known each other since I was 14. I met him because he and my sister were best friends. Anyway, I grew up and thought he was attractive. We tried getting together when I was 18 but I ran off. Anyway, we didn’t speak for over 10 years. I knew my sister and him kissed and had an incline they slept together but neither of them told me and my boyfriend said possibly but I don’t remember. Anyway, we have been together 10 months and my sister told my mum. My sister is telling me to leave him because he ‘lied to me’ but I don’t want to leave him. Then, she told me that in 2019 they exchanged texts but I was in another relationship at that point a long term one at that, so again my current partner wasn’t my concern. She then randomly stated that my boyfriend grabbed her bum when me and him met up again when we first got together (I don’t believe this for a second) I have also confronted my partner and he said absolutely not. When I had the incline that they slept together I said to my partner that I didn’t care, however it has come out now and naturally I feel a bit grossed out BUT he is very loyal to me, I trust him and ultimately I love him. Obviously I have mental images running through my heads and what ifs and makes me feel sick.

Hey guys, I’m 25 years old and have been struggling heavy with OCD for most my life. Even though it comes in waves, when it hits it does take a lot for me to overcome. Recently for the past couple of months, I obsess over work to the point I get extremely stressed. I thought it was due to the amount of stress I had working in Information Technology so I made the decision to switch jobs to lookout for my mental health. After the job switch it’s still all I think about to the point I wake up at 4:30am thinking about it and it doesn’t stop till I go back to sleep at 9:00pm. It has greatly affected my life as I have breakdowns weekly where I can do nothing but cry. The thoughts give me anxiety and they range from the job itself to me feeling as if I’m wasting my life now that I’m not in a career position even though I did this as a break for my mental health. Any thoughts on what I can do to help this? I’ve already spoke to my doctor about changing medications as I feel it is not working anymore.

does anyone have any tips for finding what medication works for you? I’m a college student looking for a step in the right direction

I struggle with self harm and depression. I told my doctor a week ago that I have suicidal thoughts and she put me on an anxiety/depression med and she said it could make things better or worse. I have noticed I barely eat anything anymore and I started to self harm more. I go through my day struggling and I’ve lost my friends and I stay in my room 24/7. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. People say “oh it’ll get better” or “you’ll overcome it” or “don’t worry it’ll be okay” but guess what it’s not true. I feel like no one gets me or no one will listen to me. No one understands the pain I go through every second of the day trying my hardest to put on a fake smile. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to stop.

idk what to say sometimes, it feels never ending. i feel the burning thought that i want to breakup and i can’t ignore it. truthfully i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to loose her, i love her. but i also question and do this and that makes me feel so guilty and idk how to express that. she is so awesome a patient and cares about me and so do it. but i worry that she likes me more than i do because i get like this. i get these awful images of breaking up or thoughts that im secretly jealous of my single friends and that im just convincing myself i want this. at one point before we were together i did want to be single and date around, but then i met her and fell. it felt good. but what if this anxiety is just me know its not right? what if i just want to be single? i dont think i do and i dont wanna be:,( but these thoughts!! i just get so scared im not spending my 20s the right way and that in order for me to actually find the right person or love that i needed to date around and not be with someone. it makes me feel guilty. but this relationship feels good when im not anxious. i freak out because i just don’t know why i get this way. it feels like my brain is telling me deep down i know the truthfor sure but i really don’t. it makes me crazy and like a bad partner. i do t want to breakup i really see a future tighter but im like what if its not right, what if its bad timing, what if i have to leave. phew. some days i dont feel like i deserve this conquerer badge.

Can you get groinals and other intrusive feelings while on medication? Because I’m on sertraline and I still get the intrusive thoughts and feelings and my mind now tells me that if it was only my anxiety then I wouldn’t get them anymore and now I’m scared I’m actually a bad person?

In May I started having what I’d later come to suspect as OCD. I started worrying about things that people around me told me I didn’t need to worry about. I started deeply ruminating on these possible events that I thought could ruin my life. I sent texts to people I had known years earlier apologizing and making sure I didn’t do anything wrong, much to their confusion. Also to my confusion, I knew deep down that I didn’t need to worry about these things, I laughed about it with friends, but I also didn’t know. The big mistakes I had made turned into things that could destroy my future. I got my dream job and to me, it awakened the OCD symptoms that started out of nowhere for me in May. I started to worry about being cancelled and losing my job, and having people that I didn’t even know judge me for things I regret. I identified my main symptoms as real-event OCD. I hoped it would pass but it didn’t. Even posting here worries me. I’d get over one event, and another would pop up. I’d get over another event and I’d go back to the event I’d gotten over— it never ended. I decided last week that I wanted to get formally diagnosed and begin therapy. And it’s almost like my brain tuned it up another level when I decided that. I think I’m starting to get false memories, and I’m only saying think, because I’m still typing this wondering if I did these things. I haven’t done the work to find a therapist or doctor because I’ve been so weighed down these past few days, it’s been impacting my sleep and job performance and it just feels like a spiral I’ve never experienced before. I’m writing this I guess to see if these things I’m feeling are normal, and if this community has any tips. Also don’t want to be that person who self-diagnoses, it just feels so strongly like OCD and I am seeking the real diagnosis. TLDR: Got OCD symptoms out of nowhere and it got progressively worse over a few months. Is that normal and what tips are there before treatment?

So a few days ago I sexually harassed someone on accident. I zoned off at work and my gaze landed on someone else's crotch for a time. I immediately looked away once I became aware if this but I am pretty sure the damage has already been done. I have become a sex offender. And it is one of the worst things I can imagine to be. At first I hoped the person didn't notice but today they didn't greet me back, so they probably did and avoid me because of what I did to them. I don't know how to move forward. I plan on apologizing tomorrow. But even after, I just don't know how I can live with being a sex offender. I just want to kms because of this to be honest.

Okay, so I have gotten cold sores in the past. I am aware cold sores are a type of herpes, but I was under the impression it was extremely different. Last year I told my friends when I got my first cold sore. when I have an active cold sore I would never share drinks with people or food or anything like that. I would however share food and drinks when I didn’t have any. honestly, I was never thinking about that and forgot that I even get them. My friends apparently had no idea cold sores were herpes. they all sat me down for an intervention last night and lit into me about spreading hsv1 to them and are forcing me to get a blood test and them as well. I am under the impression that if I am positive and so are they, they most likely won’t be my friends anymore. I never hid the fact I had a cold sore ever. in my head i’m confused because I don’t see how it is my fault they didn’t know a cold sore was a type of herpes. another part of me is so confused because my parents and everyone i’ve ever talked to has told me a cold sore is literally no big deal at all. I’m so shocked i’m losing friends over this, and that it is all coming up right now. I feel i may be in the wrong for it, but i’m honestly super hurt and upset with them now for ganging up on me and yelling at me for this for over half an hour last night. This is making me struggle with my mental health and I don’t even feel comfortable in my house any more. These next few weeks while I wait for their tests are going to be so anxiety inducing. Am i crazy?? Are they 100% valid? Did i really do a horrible thing??

I’m worried that my OCD is going to plague me for the rest of my life. I have these awful flair ups that sometimes last months at a time. It makes me filled with anxiety and guilt. It’s nearly impossible to be myself during these times even for only a little bit. With that said I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years. I’m about to graduate college in the spring and I was considering proposing after that but I just don’t want to put her through the pain that comes along with being with me for the rest of her life. I feel that I should’ve broken up with her long ago so that she wouldn’t have to suffer from my depression and anxiety that comes with OCD. I truly care about her happiness more than anything else and I would be 100x happier seeing her with another guy that treats her right and doesn’t suffer from OCD. I don’t want her to suffer because of me suffering. I just want her to live the best life she can live and I don’t want her to live a lesser life being with me. It would hurt us both in the long run being together and knowing that she could be living a lesser life with me because of my OCD. I just want her to live the best life that she can and I don’t feel it’s with me because I know she is brought down and feels bad when I feel bad. She’s truly the best person I’ve ever met. She’s kind, caring, and outright genuine. I don’t think she deserves to be with me and I know I don’t deserve her. I just want her to live her best life and I don’t feel that it’s with me. Any advice you can give is appreciated.

does anyone else doubt everything in moments when people who aren’t educated on ocd say they’re “so ocd” because they like to be clean? not too long ago i was at my sisters and i told her abt my ocd (just that im diagnosed) and she said she gets it she’s so ocd too like her picture has to be a certain way or it’ll annoy her otherwise and then when she asked me what i struggle with ocd wise, i told her it was intrusive thoughts like i’ll get a thought if i don’t do this someone will die type of stuff and she looked at me confused. when she said she was so ocd at first i was irritated but now i feel like what if she’s actually got it? like who am i to judge? i just feel so terrible that i could judge so quickly. it makes me question if what im struggling with is actually ocd because there’s some p’s out there who genuinely feel bad and bc mines not what is typically shown, it makes me worry it’s not sorry im rambling

Can someone help me with this? I’m trying to deal with something in my life and my OCD is freaking out. I’ve been dealing with anger a lot. I don’t know what it’s from, most likely trauma, but the older I get, the more angry I become. I’ve lashed out at people before and I hate that because I don’t want to make other people suffer because I am. So I’m trying to find ways to channel my anger and deal with it instead of lashing out while also not suppressing my emotions. I’m trying to find a healthy balance to deal with the emotion. Creativity (art, writing, music, etc.) can help with some emotions, but anger isn’t one of them. For some reason when I try these things with anger, I just get more angry. The best way I can describe it is that I feel small. I feel like I’m not being heard and I can’t accurate get out the emotion. One thing I’ve found that does work is physical activity. I’ve been recommended it before and I saw it listed as a way to deal with anger. It makes me feel a lot better. But my OCDs gotten a hold it it, and it’s basically saying if I need a physical release in order to deal with anger, then I must be a physical abuser and I’m at risk for hitting people. Basically, if I have to exercise to deal with anger, then I operate the same and have the same mind as someone who physically abuses people. The thought terrifies me and I genuinely can’t tell if that’s true. I’m so scared of what I’m feeling, I have no idea what to do.

OCD often makes me feel distant from God. I often feel unforgiven, unloved, and even hated. In my head I often view God as someone who hates me and who is always constantly disappointed in me. My relationship with him feels like an Obligation now more than a relationship. I’m always on the cusp of becoming an atheist, but I always draw myself back because I don’t want to give up my faith so fast, even if it’s been 4-5 years of living like this. I’m often at war with myself daily. There is never a day that I feel as though if I do one small thing whether it be buy something or eat something that I’m going to end up in eternal damnation. And even though I know it’s only OCD and it’s cognitive distortions, I still feel uneasy.

I had intense scrupulosity this weekend. I am triggered by any sermons or scriptures relating to judgment, punishment or hell. I went to church today and the Pastor preached a strong meat sermon regarding God's judgement and sovereignty and remaining in the protection of God. This set my OCD off and made me mental review for past and current sins. I feel like I can never meet the cut and guilty. I fear that I love the devil and that I am hardened to sin. I fear going to hell and dying in my sleep. These thoughts have gotten increasingly harsh lately and I don't kbow how to counteract them. I really need some suggestions.

sometimes when i’m doing something like going to the bathroom, taking a shower, changing clothes, i get a thought that is like “what if im not actually in my bathroom and im in school right now in front of anyone but i just can’t see them” i hope that makes sense. i just keep having these thoughts and recently ive been afraid while taking showers and going to the bathroom. writing this out it sounds so stupid but i just don’t know how to stop thinking these things. and when i do think these things i just tell myself multiple times that i am real and i am actually in my bathroom, not in public. but does anyone know a way to make this stop? also i dont know if there is a word for this, and if anyone can relate that also might have these thoughts please let me know im not alone!

Idc if this is seeking reassurance, seeking reassurance helps me sm in trying ERP and that's what I'm asking, reassurance because I want to get better mentally, I want to start ERP but I can't if no one answers me, I'm one of the people that reassurance helps, my paranoias are manifestation and thinking I can predict or influence the future, I'm constantly trying to think of good things so that I don't "curse" things and things that I've already "cursed" I can't use anymore, it's ruining me, can I actually accidentally manifest smth bad ? Can I predict the future ? Can I influence the outer world ? That's all I need to know, cuz if I don't know my brain is convincing me that trying ERP is the universe's way to let my guard down and that's what's stopping me from starting ERP

I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldn’t leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (10 months)I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ‘like’ don’t even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway… I said I didn’t want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. I’m now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesn’t think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying ‘what if you love this other guy’ what if the reason you can’t get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a sign’ ‘what if everyone told you not to go there, then what’ the thoughts are endless and honestly, I can’t stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like I’m mentally cheating or what if I’m denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang I’m consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I can’t cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasn’t our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying ‘oh see, what if it’s the same situation with this guy a work’ I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!!

I’M SO SCARED I’M SO SCARED Please do not make assumptions it makes things worse!!!!⚠️ I’m so scared when creating an oc for an anime show I don’t want to turn them into a p£do. Especially cause I use my oc’s on character ai to interact with cannon characters. I feel like I’m a bad, bad person if I create any kind of oc like this I’m also a general writer and I also want to create horror movies and I’m scared if I write oc’s that aren’t supposed to be self inserts that I’m a bad person if I write a character like this. But I do NOT want to act on the thoughts and I’m afraid character ai and ocd tricks my brain into thinking I can do it and get away with it. And I’m going to be 100% honest I have had encountered doing sketchy role plays with cannon characters which I do NOT like AT ALL or WANT TO DO and I felt like it was super taboo and wrong and also felt really sick and scared of myself and I don’t want to do it EVER again. I DO NOT FEEL PROUD WHATSOEVER!!! So I’m thinking of just deleting character ai until I see my psychologist so I can try some ERP therapy. Cause I love role playing with ai and creating fun oc’s and seeing what shows would be like if they had extra main characters!

hey guys does anyone have any advice on how to stop letting past relationships affect your current one? my current boyfriend is honestly everything i could want. he’s honest, sensitive, and has known me for a long time so he knows all about how i’ve been treated in the past, mostly with being used and abandoned. i have found myself expecting him to fail and getting upset with him over very small things that i let convince me he doesn’t actually care about me and that our relationship is gonna end badly like they have in the past. every time i freak out on him, in the moment i think im just standing up for myself and i get kinda sassy and mean. i always feel guilty afterwards and feel crazy for acting like that. he gets upset with me for “comparing” him to my exes, but i feel like i truly don’t mean to do that i just have a huge guard up as a result of their actions towards me. i still think about stuff that happened with my exes every single day and idk how to stop letting it consume me. i obsess over how horrible they made me feel and exactly what they did and said and what i could’ve done differently to prevent it or how to fix things with them even though i am happy with my current bf and i don’t truly want either of them anymore. i hate the feeling of being on bad terms with people and feeling all of the resentment 24/7, it has gotten so incredibly draining. it makes me start thinking that we aren’t right for each other or im not good enough for him and that i do secretly want them back, even though logically i know that’s not true. i don’t want him to think im still obsessed with them romantically in any way, but i just can’t seem to let the past go and am constantly ruminating about events from the past. it comes up in conversation with my friends a lot and it makes me feel crazy tbh. i don’t want them to be annoyed with me for talking about stuff that happened a long time ago at this point, especially since i am in a new relationship currently. i obsess over the idea of anyone thinking i still want them because i know that’s what it sounds like and that’s the conclusion most people jump to. i just can’t seem to move on, but not in a romantic way just like in a way that won’t let me move on from the hurt they caused me knowing that i never deserved it, and that there is nothing i can do about it now. i cry to him all the time about how i used to be a good gf, but as a result of how those people treated me in return it made me “crazy”. i can’t seem to find the line between defending myself and just being mean and angry and accusing him of things. idk how to talk about my concerns calmly anymore. it has been happening a lot recently and idk how to stop immediately jumping to the worst case scenario and getting extremely upset and giving the silent treatment. i’m afraid it’s gonna get to be too much for him and he won’t be able to take it anymore. i don’t want to let my past ruin my relationship now. he says he understands why i feel this way and just asks me to put my guard down for him but i can’t do it for some reason. he reassures me all the time that he isn’t like them but i can’t help but think about how i’ve been lied to in the past and it makes me not trust him, even though he has never given me a reason not to. he is so patient with me and tries to understand, but i don’t think he gets that it’s an ocd thing i can’t control and thinks that it’s something i’m choosing to do. i don’t want to bring it up because i don’t want to sound like im making excuses, even though that is truly the root of the problem. i just want to let everything go and be fully present and accept the love he gives me.