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My OCD is going absolutely insane right now. There are SO many stressors, so much mental and physical stress. I feel crazy. UGH I’m gonna let myself keep crying for now because ☹️

so about two years ago, i got into a super BAD ocd episode. it made me scared of letters, numbers, texting, etc. like something bad was happening. and we were watching a soccer game, and seeing letters would freak me out. i remember my mind telling me “words and numbers are scary, the way you see them, now you’re going to hyper focus on them and it’s going to scare you” i’ve been much better, but now my mind is going back to that. “you need to hyper focus and be scared again” has this ever happened? like you think of something that scared you and wonder if you should be frightened again? cute weenie dog gif because look at them 🥹

Lately I have been struggling with binge eating in an odd way I haven’t experienced before. I have been eating a bunch more each night because “it could be my last meal” and I’m not sure how to break the cycle. I’m not hungry, but I force myself because my brain is telling me I’ll never get to experience that again. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

Does anyone struggle with the OCD thought of lust while in a relationship? I get all these intense feelings and feelings that I want to have these thoughts with other people besides my boyfriend in my head yknow? And I’m afraid that these feelings are true and that i want to think these things but I don’t. I’ve been having a hard time this evening with this because the feelings and sensations I have on my body are really strong. And I feel like I sinned against him.

Does anyone else experience this? Every once in a while, I get this overwhelming feeling that is really hard to explain. It is like I *feel* evil, hateful, violent, and completely indifferent. It is such an ugly, uncomfortable feeling, but in that moment, I do not seem to care. I could be watching a video or doing something completely normal, and suddenly, I just feel dark and wrong. It does not exactly feel like a typical intrusive thought because it is not just a fleeting idea that pops into my head. It is more like a constant, vague presence in the background, almost like I have switched personalities or something. During these moments, I also get intrusive thoughts, but I do not immediately reject them the way I normally would. It is like I almost believe them, but there is this tiny part of me that still feels panic or a distant sense of wrongness about agreeing with them. It honestly scares me and makes me worry about what I might do. I do not know if I am explaining this well, but does anyone else experience something like this? I feel like I have never seen anyone talk about it.

Today I was selected for jury duty and I am a bit worried. This may be more anxiety/trauma related but I am definitely ruminating and coming up with scary scenarios. I am worried that the questioning process will be triggering. (To clarify I was just selected for the “screening” I believe it’s called, not the actual trial). I was considering telling them I have some sort of bias due to my traumas because I am worried about being triggered but at the same time I feel like I could be objective. I feel like this could be a good opportunity to possibly help bring justice to someone and I trust myself enough to not allow my bias to sway my opinions (I think and hope?) I saw someone on Reddit say during the selection process they had to listen to testimonies of people describing drug addiction, SA, DV etc. I am worried about that and about being asked about crimes that have been committed against me and the people close to me. I cannot lie and say there are no crimes but also I cannot reveal details of specific crimes. I am also worried others stories will be potentially triggering. I also fear the case itself could be triggering. I always had thought I’d be cool to be apart of a murder trial but on Reddit people were saying they had to repeatedly be showing videos of the murder and that changed my perspective. It could be something as simple as a traffic violation but it also could be something potentially very horrifying/triggering. Anyways, I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through jury duty and what experiences you’ve had? Also just any general opinions. I haven’t given too much thought to this topic before this. I wonder if this experience could be empowering as I’ve always wanted to be apart of a greater cause but I am not sure if it’s worth the potential emotional exasperation. I also don’t even know if I could actually get out of it lol

Hi there, I’m new to NOCD and just want to say that I’ve been depressed and feel as though this opportunity could potentially connect me to people who struggle with similar issues. We’re not certain I have ocd, but I do exhibit symptoms that do seem to fall under ocd’s general category. So I’d like to ask whoever reads this: what are some good ways to engage with this community that might benefit me the most? I’ve been seeing that people struggle with many different intrusive thoughts and some of them (for example dating related or jealousy) I’ve definitely experienced. Is there a way for me to possibly filter based on subtype, and for that matter also how can I best stay safe on this platform? I see there are trigger warnings but do people sometimes post triggering content without them? How about if I receive rude or abusive comments, things like that. I do struggle with many different intrusive thoughts and so may run into darker threads if I filter for those subtypes. Also, I tagged the subtypes that seem to apply to me the most here. Thank you!

I am really worried because I felt confident about my appearance today, then I found myself thrown into imagining if I did certain things like flipping my hair or just looking good around a certain coworker and they'd find it attractive. I don't like that coworker at all and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, this made me feel awful and I starting feeling disloyal again. I don't know if it's an old habit, a desire for external validation, or what. I can't tell if this was a thought pattern connected to my last post or not. All I know is that I'm really stuck right now. I feel like every time I pick myself back up, I fall right back down again, like there's ice in the road. I can't help but feel like everything I touch or everything I think about crumbles. I feel like my own mind is against me and I don't know who to trust anymore. These small OCD spirals are really messing with my work life, s*x life, everything really, and it's getting to me. I feel with every spiral that I'm getting sucked into a depression again and I don't know what's next. It doesn't matter how small the "bad" thing that "i did" was, but I feel that every little thing is building up to a point and something is going to crash down. I need help. What do I do? Right when everything around me seems to be going up, I feel like I'm being dragged down and I can't do this anymore. Please help me.

today has been harder than others. my psychiatrist put me on a new medication to help my insomnia and it's taking a bit to get used to. i feel tired, worn out and useless, atp. work is becoming more and more difficult

do you ever get so tired and used to all of this that you dont even want to react to the thoughts or do the compulsions… like, i had a talk with my boyfriend he tried to make a “talk therapy “ with me maybe i will do a post about that and i felt better after talking with him (since i have rocd amd he wants to help me) and ofc i still have some thoughts and a bad feeling in me but i dont want to act on my thoughts or give them atention bc im so over this. is it normal reaction??? am i faking my ocd???

I already made a post about this but I have theory over what might’ve happened because I can’t really stop freaking out about how much like me it felt. My boyfriend told me his cousin grabbed his other cousin’s girlfriend’s boob while drunk. Later, I started imagining it happening to me, with my boyfriend getting defensive (I love drama-filled moments in stories). Then, I thought, “Why couldn’t it have been me?” and got scared. I know I like attention, and I’m worried that’s why it felt so real. I almost felt excited. I’m wondering if it was just an intrusive thought or if my brain was mixing up the daydreaming feeling with that. Later that night, I started thinking about how I could position myself to make it more likely to happen, and I immediately felt horror. I’m into things like CNC, and I’m wondering if my brain got confused, mixing the daydreaming excitement with that preference, which is why it felt so real? I don’t know. I’m feeling scared because it genuinely felt like me both times. Has anyone else experienced this kind of brain confusion? Is that even possible?

I really don't know wtf to do. Out of everything I've been through this has to be the last straw. I'm getting so much better with regards to POCD and HOCD but omw! This is the worst. I actually never had incest intrusive thoughts or even pedophile intrusive thoughts until I basically had an existential crisis where I asked some really normal thoughts I'd say but due to OCD, they were just blown out of proportion. One of the questions being "are morals real?" I think I did quite well with unlearning and learning in the "existential crisis phase" but one thing that stuck is incest OCD! That scared me from the beginning right now it's just so bad. It's okay for me to be around my family, I can handle that to a certain extent but the problem is other families. It's like my perception of families has been ruined. I hear about families and immediately think of incest between them and it's frustrating! I don't know how to see families the same way anymore aarg!!!!! I don't like this !

Hey everyone, I’m still struggling a bit with false memory ocd. Mine revolves around my relationship. There are some things I have remembered that occurred early on in the relationship, whether someone texted me on Snapchat or TikTok etc. and it was old friends of mine from a friend group. In the friend group it was me and about couple guys and girls. I remember there being an instance where one of the guys had messaged me on Snapchat after I had posted something about a tv show or I had posted a picture of me and my mom and they reached out to me saying something and I honestly can’t remember at all what they had said to me but I’m pretty sure i remember I responded with “Lol” or “Thank you” , and I think the reason I’m really struggling right now is that I can’t remember hardly anything about the text at all. And of course, my ocd is trying to convince me that it was either a flirty chat, or something else. I also want to mention that I unadded a lot of people off my snap, mostly guys on TikTok etc after dating my boyfriend because I felt like that was respectful. And even after doing that, my OCD was trying to convince me that I un added them because I was hiding something or I was on adding them because I didn’t want my boyfriend to see that they were on my Snapchat, which was not the case at all. I think I’m just really struggling because I think about past events that have happened in my mind is trying to convince me that something else happened, rather than allowing me to remember what actually went on. I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else struggles with something like this because it’s been really bothering me the past couple days and I know I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend because I love him so much it’s just I freak out constantly, and it bothers me a lot.

Hello, I just wanna put my thoughts onto something to hopefully release them. I have health ocd/anxiety which comes with googling and overthinking. Lately, I’ve been have stomach issues and acid reflux on new SSRI medication and convince myself I have SIBO or a weird disease. I then I looked into gastric diseases then freak myself out more for days on end. I’m am trying to use the ERP and saying “Mabye I do mabye I don’t”; but I always end up doing stuff to make it worse. If I have any advice don’t google, I should take my own advice😂. I have a few appointments to make sure nothings wrong which I know logically nothings wrong but for some reason I still think something is really wrong. (If you have similar stuff DONT look it up, it’ll just say the worst thing, ignorance is bliss 😭😂) Not expecting a response, just wanted to “release” my thoughts. Hopefully I help someone who is going the same thing. Anyways hope everyone is doing good and making progress in their life. :)

I was doing very well with all my thoughts but then they started to get really bad this week. I am very sure I am straight and only want to be with a man but I have such good relationships with my girl friends and my mind plays tricks on me and likes to make me think it’s more than just a friendship. And this voice in my head tells me it’s not disgusting when in reality I would never do anything physical with them at all.But they get so intense I start to believe it. I just am not sure how to get out of this cycle. Every time I get better I think about getting in a relationship with a man and i freak out (what if i don’t like it? does that mean ill have to be gay) and all these thoughts blow up in my face and so can’t take it anymore. My bestie is coming to visit me and the thoughts get so intense when she is around and i really want to be in a good head space to spend time with her because i know deep down she’s my best friend and nothing more. Any suggestion to help?

So I was talking to this one polyamorous guy but we had been friends before we started talking romantically. Anyway one day he has a mental breakdown and he says he can't do polyamory rn (for reasons I won't get into but I think they're valid) and I was like that's fine. But now it just feels like we can't talk to each other. I am either terrified that I won't be able to talk to him cause I will be too upset or I am terrified he won't talk to me because he hates me. We used to talk nonstop everyday but now we haven't talked for three days. And I don't know if it's me or him, or maybe I am just losing it. But all I want to do is talk to him. I am always checking his socials just trying to see if he's online and wondering if he will or why won't he text me. Anytime we do talk, it's always like a two sentence exchange. Maybe it's him, maybe he needs space, but everytime I see him (we go to college together) he seems to be happier, everytime he posts on twitter he seems happier, I don't know. I just want him to like me. I want to talk to him. I am scared I have to stop talking to him completely, because in the past I have never gotten over someone unless someone else comes in and takes their place so it isn't like we can take a break and then I come back and everything's good. It would likely take a long time, and it's only been like 4 months since we started talking 😭 (I am so cooked). I don't know why I am like this. I wish I could be normal about him/other people. I don't know if I am just in an OCD spiral or not, but I just want it to be over. Sorry for the rambling, but if anyone has any advice I will consider it.

I hope everyone is doing well! It's been a week or so since I came on the app. I wasn't doing so well, but I promised myself I'd stay off until after my next psychiatrist appointment (two days ago). The appointment didn't last long. I regret not going into more detail with her, but I shared the basics of what I had been dealing with. We're raising my dose (Sertraline) to 100mg. Hopefully, that will do something...? The intrusive thoughts haven't been too bad, but I just feel... blank. There's not a lot going on in my personal life right now, so that might be the main reason. I'm doing okay, though. I've read three books in the past week. I'm about to start my fourth tonight. I don't know if keeping busy in this case is a form of avoidance or not. But I feel depressed if I'm not doing anything, so... here we are! 🥲

does anyone else get really sick like every 2-3 weeks. i dont know if its my anxiety but i always get really bad nausea flu type symptoms every few weeks and like headaches with sinus and ear issues but the doctor said everythings fine and ive been to ER like 3 times and they said everything’s perfect :(

Currently having an anxious night because my hormones are doing whatever they want before my cycle starts. It's so frustrating. I feel very, very on edge and like I'm constantly anxious about something bad happening. Also been nauseous and having sleep issues. So irritating. How does everyone else deal with the spike in anxiety and OCD before periods? I'm seeing an endocrinologist on Monday to try and help but I feel so stressed out.

I think it's just anxiety, but I've been experiencing random bouts of anxiety around the evenings, usually around 8pm is when it kicks in. Is there an explanation for this? My head will feel cold and I'll start to feel dizzy and sick. Sometimes I worry it could be my eating habits.