- Date posted
- 109d ago
I was forced to fight thru my contamination OCD cause I couldn’t let myself look weird in front of people 👀
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I was forced to fight thru my contamination OCD cause I couldn’t let myself look weird in front of people 👀
Sometimes I deliberately ignore or avoid something to satisfy my OCD but it makes me seem like an inconsiderate guy to others. It’s frustrating.
I know this might sound strange, but my therapist told me once that menstruating and pms can actually make ocd symptoms and intrusive thoughts worse because of the hormones. I did some research and it is a very real and true thing. I can usually tell when I’m about to have my period because my intrusive thoughts get a lot more random and intense. I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Or if my symptoms actually get worse and I use my period / pms as an excuse
So I was playing around with this popular AI app called Replika, where you basically just talk to an AI. Mainly because I was bored and curious. Lol. At one point my POCD kicked up and I was like “how old is this AI” which I know is a stupid question because it’s not real. It said it was a day old. Lol. Obviously I know I started the app a day ago so that’s why, but my ocd kicked up anyway. Its just frustrating because these stupid instances can become very triggering even though I know it’s all in my head. It just makes me feel dumb sometimes.
Often I heard that the thoughts feel real cause you are scared of them, which I am, but I just don't feel that intense fear anymore, and the thoughs still feel real, like, they feel real like when I was scare, but at least then when the anxiety stop, I was like, weel it was just fear it wasn't true, but now I feel like the toughts are true and I just feel tired, but not scared
I have ROCD. I'm dealing with a lot right now and I can't stop thinking about whether or not my relationship is going to work out or not. I don't sleep well because I ruminate. I wake up way too early and start ruminating over the fact I'm ruminating so much and then I definitely can't get back to sleep. Anyone else deal with this? What helps?
I afraid that I'm danger on the people Any one vomits when has anxiety and fear ? Feel disgusting false memory convinces me that im in denial and i love peace i love every creature im vegetarian why i think that i will harm ? Why im weak
So this morning i woke up late. And it’s snowy where i live so instead of me starting my car and being late for work i just got up and went. I know stupid of me but it’s not like i was completely restricted i could still see a little bit. So i was just driving and being cautious and going slow. And then i heard a bang like i hit something. Immediate panic got sent down my spine. I am freaking out. I literally turned around and went back to the spot and seen if i hit a car. I drive past it and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. But it’s also dark out. So I’m not really sure. I have such an urge to leave work and go check to make sure i didn’t hit anything. I’m so scared. What if the cops come to my door later and arrest me for hit and run. I didn’t mean to do anything. I don’t even know if i did anything. I’m so scared. I keep trying to think positive. Maybe there was a box on the ground? If i did accidentally hit a car i can just repay damages. They shouldn’t arrest me for something I’m willing to pay? But then as i was turning around to go back i made like a wrong or weird turn and now I’m scared that they are going to camera watch me all day and watch my driving. What if they think I’m some guilty human being that did something wrong just by watching me drive ? I know seems silly but I’m genuinely freaking out 😭
All of this happen in like 5 minutes I felt false atraction (If I can call it false) with little anxiety, then I got anxious about not being anxious, then I saw the picture again and felt anxious and then I blink and didn't feel anxious and then I saw the picture again and felt anxious (but during this whole procces I was feeling like it wasn't anxious enought for it to be OCD and that I'm actually on denial)
Does it helps with ROCD?
Has anyone ever been on Risperidone for ocd harm?
I’ve been struggling with OCD at work and in my romantic relationship really badly for the past year. From a combo of meds, therapy and journaling I feel like my mental fever broke today and I forgot how much easier everything is if you’re not also fighting OCD. I forgot this is what it feels like. It’s nice and I’m trying not to overthink it and let intrusive thoughts pass through so I can get some real rest.
Can you have erection on socd on introusive thoughts?Today i had one introusive fantasy thought and like i getted horny and i just stayed with it like i forgotted about it and no anxiety no nothing is that going to a good run or i accepted im in denial?
Does anyone ask themselves like what if in order to be happy again I have to let him go even tho you still love him and want to be with him ☹️
Has anyone else grown up around toxic relationships and now that your in a relationship with your bf or gf when they make a mistake or act like they don’t care even if it’s just a miscommunication you think u deserve better and need to leave?
Do you all have non stop panic attacks because of this? Like, your body just cannot rest and you’re pretty much disabled. I can’t even get the courage to leave my bedroom and I just panic and cry all day. I miss being present with my family but I’m too scared. And, I haven’t worked in 3 months. I do photography and have cancelled all my shoots because this is so disabling.
If I want to explain to someone how harm ocd feels, i say ‘it feels like your in a room and there is a door and the door is locked, but someone has told you that behind the door there is a killer/evil person waiting there, so even though you feel safe because the door is locked you still feel fear that there is a threat waiting behind the door. Because although I feel somewhat safe because I know I’m a kind person and I’m not bad I still feel fear that these thoughts mean something 😞 this problem is the worst I pray for anyone who has to deal with this
People with harm ocd know that it can be very difficult to explain to people around you what this problem is like and even after all the explaining they will never truly know how horrible this feels. I think people with ethnic parents will have any even harder time accepting and understanding because where they grew up they never heard of such things and haven’t been educated on mental health, my ethnic mum still doesn’t fully understand and sometimes says hurtful things, for example the other day someone wrote a post on here about their intrusive thoughts and I read it to her and she said ‘oh my god, imagine how many weirdos there are out there’ but I read it to her since I have the same problem as them, and it made me feel like crap hearing her say that.
To be honest I have always said rude things/swore at people when I’m angry, I’m not proud of this but even when I was younger when I would argue with my mum I would swear at her, and call her names, I’ve always had a problem with that, since I started having this problem with harm related intrusive thoughts I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed and trapped everyday and don’t know what to do, so I find myself getting easily irritated and start swearing and saying really horrible things even more horrible than before, it almost feels like the more horrible my words are I some am releasing anger from the frustration or this problem, it’s not even me calling other people names it’s more like saying horrible things about myself, like telling my mum/family I wish I wasn’t alive or like I find that my anger these days is a lot more intense than before, I get really bad headaches and a lot of tension and my words are just intense and I’m pretty sure its because I’m so fustrated and i don’t know what to do, feels like I just have to live everyday hoping that everything is alright when I feel like its not, I feel like a very toxic person and I don’t know what to do, constantly stressing everyone out, my mum has basically become my carer now, revolving her day around helping me, idk what to do I’m so fed up
Does anyone else feel the anxiety strongly in their arms?
is confessing to my therapist a compulsion or necessary?
they say it's bullshit and that I'm talking it into myself.. I feel so extremly lonely
Does anyone have relationship ocd and is on ocd medication like Sri’s? Does it help?
Anybody constantly dwell on their past mistake? I think about it so much that it feels like it is ruining my life. I question my own morals and if I did something I cannot remember, which leads me to further thinking about the mistake over and over to look for answers. Any suggestions as to how to cope with this? Anybody else dealing with the same thing?
Has anyone on here ever had thoughts like,what if I had sex with a dog?this thought has me in its clutches and I feel really abnormal and bad,my therapist says maybe maybe not, but it’s trying to really dig in
how can i make this make sense so i have uncertainty false memory but when i write the thought down it doesn't bother me yet i'm still having this thought over in my head that i need to know 🤷🏻♀️😕
Hi everyone! Recently I’ve been very plagued with intrusive thoughts about my own intelligence/general feeling of not being good enough or just enough. Does anyone have any tips or words of advice? Thanks 💖💖
How do u do ERP when everything is a trigger?
I sometimes feel like a totally glum, anxious, depressed and terrified person when ocd hits and then as soon as I begin to feel a little more hopeful I feel like I am back to my normal self?
Has anyone ever had OCD about the fear of getting Schz and then you imagine how it would be or sound and you kind of unintentionally create an artificial voice in your mind using your inner monologue but you can change how the voice sounds like a man, woman, child, weird character voice etc and get that thought/voice stuck in your head and then question back and forth if you have it or don’t believe you have but still fear having it because you haven’t been diagnosed yet?
Does anyone here experience, I guess what I consider micro triggers? It feels like the thoughts and feelings are always on the back of my mind, continuously popping up throughout the day during every conversation and during every downtime. They don’t necessarily cause anxiety at the time, but they build until u feel the need to do a compulsion by the end of the day.
Hey guys! I’ve made a post similar To this, but would love a little bit more help ❤️ I’ve got HOCD and POCD and what I’ve told my partner before is that my intrusive thoughts have centred around harm, which is true. I feel like I’m not being honest with him, but I also know that he’d get completely overwhelmed if I tell him every detail - would love your thoughts!
Sometimes i feel like i've convinced myself of something so much ive just been living in a delusion. Believing what my OCD tells me vs what the truth is. Getting things confused and still feeling like i have no answers. I hate this feeling!
I don’t do any compulsions
For the last 3 days I feel like I’ve been at war with my mind. So many highs and lows throughout the day and fighting with myself if I need to break up with my bf. Luckily, we watched a movie last night together over FaceTime (we’re long distance) and it made me feel better but it feels as though every day so far it’s a restart to my emotions.
how do i stop mentally checking my thoughts is "but what if" it's so draining
That if you’re in denial you can push the thought away and not think about it. If you have ocd you think about it a lot (more then 1 hour a day). What if I am in denial my whole life? What if I didn’t think about my whole life because is was in denial? What if this is the time I realise I’m a lesbian? I’m so anxious and feel so extremely numb at the same time. I love my boyfriend so much. 7 months ago is was so happy. It was the easiest yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend..
Does anyone ever think they’ve made an inappropriate comment on social media? I always thoughts, what if I did but I don't remember?
I'm currently feeling too much guilt etc, I think I have a few themes but one is moral or scrupulous OCD. So basically I think I may have been on the wrong (wether OCD was at play or not) and it's latched onto touching things so if someone else who I feel guilty about had touched something and I've touched the same thing, everything I touch if I havnt washed my hands etc is now contaminated/tainted and it makes my guilt feel worse! So basically I was ironing and I thought what if I've touched something they had and I've touched the ironing board or even the iron handle while ironing... It makes me feel bad it's like guilt contamination? So if it was something like a plate, I could try and live with it and not do compulsions, altho of course we wash plates anyway, but because it was an iron, which is something that could be dangerous, as you could burn yourself with it, or becausenofnly mistakes and the contamination guilt I think maybe it's a sign i should, but I know that's stupid thoughs but then it's made the anxiety even worse! So is this OCD for sure and should I not clean the iron handle or anything I touch and get on with life and see if it subsides.. hard to do tho..
Is it bad that i stalked a guys page , more like an old situationship bc i saw he viewed my bfs story in the beginning of my current relationship, i didnt care about him i was just curious but now i feel bad bc my bf knows but im sad that i hurt him & i just wanna know if im not the only who got curious & went through an old person they used to talk to page?
I was doing a lot better with ocd in the summer, it was still there of course but now it’s completely changed themes and it’s so strong. I started having my first ocd symptoms in winter of 2021 so I’m just thinking if there’s a connection with being more triggered in the winter?
Since my official OCD diagnosis, I have felt so alone and down. I feel like non of my friends or family understand me and I'm not really heard nor listened to, my boyfriend tries but he don't get it. Since yesterday I can't stop crying; I just want to stay in bed all day and do nothing, I don't want to think or focus on anything I just want to lay there. I hate feeling like this, I don't even know why I feel this way.
My co-worker said that she needed 300 bucks or she would be kicked out of her apartment. I gave her 60 to help her and when she said thank you and that I’m a good person, my POCD and real events OCD kicked in... I never thought of myself as a good person because of the extremely horrible real events when I was 13 that my POCD calls me a P, a chomo, and a child r*pist for... I don’t ever want to be these things in any way shape or form... but I don’t feel like I’m a good person because of extremely horrible real events that I did when I was 13...
Trying hard not to do a compulsion right now. Having thoughts like I am with an evil spirit or if I write about it it will come true. Or that everything not real if I don’t turn the faucet on and off one more time. Someone please help me get through this I feel sooo lost in my ocd these days. I just got off my anxiety pills or I would take one and usually it would go away.
Have moments of clarity where you know for sure your fear is absolutely your ocd making you upset and repeatedly getting you to give in your compulsions? Then the rest of the time, it’s like your brain doesn’t work at all and your fear is absolutely true or possibly true, of which the possibility is something you can’t/won’t accept. Do you ever have fantastic days where you hardly ruminate, do your compulsions, and the intrusive thoughts seem to be diminishing. You know you have to face your trigger at some point that say but you don’t want to because you’re having such a good day. But you know by avoiding it, you’re not going to improve so you face it, and then bam! You get stuck in your spiralling thoughts and behaviours again?
Stopping reassurance seeking is so hard. Most of time it’s not research it’s more me thinking about my thought and trying to say like “no your r not like that for this reason” etc (stupid example but u get it lol) I just do unconsciously. And I know it is holding me back form recovery. Any tips?
Should i trust the memory when i first remembered it rather than when i started obsessing over it?
I dont want to go to school.
i desparately wanted "i don't care" set of mind and get free from OCD absi got it.. but with a "depression" diagnosis lol. can anyone relate? when ocd symptoms erased and replaced with depression symptoms like apathy, zero energy to do compulsions or even think and so on
I know that sounds odd but it something my therapist and I talk about it. I guess it’s the same with sitting with the urge to figure something out or the urge to ruminate. Obviously we all think often and that’s unavoidable but, I’m genuinely scared I can’t be just mindful’ the way people talk about. Just ‘mindful’ of your thoughts, so my therapist told me to sit with the fear of not being mindful the ‘right way.’ I have existential and meta ocd pretty intense obviously lol 🤪 Just wanted to know if anyone else could relate and is doing erp similarly!!
Hey guys! My very first appointment is tomorrow with Emily. I’m very nervous and scared for it but also a little hopeful. This is like my 5th therapist so I’m slowly being less hopeful but there’s still some left. Just a little though. Was anyone else worried about there first appointment? I’m also really scared that I’ll be shoved into something I’m not ready for yet exposure wise. I know I have a voice and it’s at my pace but they are the adults and professionals in this situation so I don’t know. Please share down any tips to help me please! Thanks!- Harmony 🤍
Has anyone ever done something horrible because their OCD told them to? I had the worst case of OCD imaginable when I was 23. I can’t even put it into words. I’m 31 now. Still have OCD but this was unimaginable. A voice that was nonstop. Never ending. I couldn’t even hear my own voice anymore. I would take sleeping pills to put myself to sleep so I wouldn’t have to be awake. But I’d dream of it. It never stopped. I attempted to end my life at this time too. I did what the voice told me too just to shut it up. And have been wrecked with guilt for years since.
Does anyone finally reach a point where they are like “okay, I don’t actually want to do these things” and then feel a sense of freedom but later on bring the thoughts back up to make sure that its not gonna happen and then the whole vicious cycle start again? Like it’s to the point where I’ll bring it up and visualize it and feel no empathy in my head but the thoughts scare me and make me cry and that’s what keeps triggering it for me.
two years ago i was diagnosed with ocd with perfectionism being the strongest issue for me. i didn’t start researching answers for things that i seems to struggle with where others don’t until recently. it was really shocking and hard for me to learn that all the things in my life that damage my mental health is brought on by ocd. it makes me really frustrated that i have this disorder that controls my life and it never occurred to me that these mental compulsions are not normal for most people. i feel sort of hopeless in treating my ocd at this point
Sometimes I get like my mind trying to search for something bad or it feels like it found something but I immediately stop it and prevent it from searching cause I don't want to know. Then I feel bad cause I'm escaping but then I'm like you know what let it and a "memory" forms right after.... Its been so hard with this as well.... Guess its just not my night but when has it lmao. Hope everyone has a great night again 🫂💕
This app has become a compulsion. So it’s time to delete for now. Thanks for the support everyone.
Sometimes you lose just cause you can’t win everything.
I have POCD and I’ve been on this app for most of my recovery, however recently a memory that kind of just formed out of nowhere and without any other details popped up in my head to make me feel worse. It’s trying to convince me that I’ve sexually assaulted someone three years or so younger than me when I, myself was about 8 or 10. It’s the worst feeling ever because I don’t even know if it’s true because of how little the memory has, in the memory my bedroom looked different than it ever has but it still plagues my mind. For an explanation, it was out of curiosity and not attraction. (At the time I was being groomed online and wanted to know what male parts looked like.) In the memory I kind of asked to see his ..yknow, and I think I almost touched his pants when he said no I completely stopped and moved on. I think I most likely apologized too but it was so long ago if it’s even true at all. Did I really assault someone? I feel like a monster.
Had a preventative routine procedure done today (first colonoscopy). Dr and nurse said all looked great- no issues. Great news right?! Until….I started to worry I didn’t hear it right because I was coming out of anesthesia. Almost like I don’t trust that I heard that everything was fine. Also- I have the post op notes that says all good. Yet- still trying to talk myself out of calling again tomorrow for reassurance. Anyone else do this?
Go off in the comments
Practicing mindfulness really helped me feel more present and grounded!! I started slowly with mindful shower meditations from YouTube. That along with OCD specific meditations really help me and mindfulness implements itself into my life and thoughts! Something that also really helped me with intrusive thoughts was externalizing them and writing them down, give the thoughts a name. For example "this thought is not y/n, this thought is Glen and glen does not want me to be happy". Intrusive thoughts are scary and can make you feel really alone but the separation between OCD and yourself is so important! I hope this helps someone :)
Had an intrusive thought followed by something that felt like excitement — but I know anxiety can often be mistaken as excitement. I really hope it was just anxiety. Anyone else?
My HOCD was making me feel like I was noticing every guy at my work, and when I’m looking down and I look up, it was making me feel like I was looking at their butt when I wasn’t… ihml… plus my POCD and real events OCD is bothering me rn… look at last post for more context…
I had a better day today after days of feeling convinced I need to leave my partner. Then out of nowhere this evening it just hit me, this feeling that I have already left the relationship deep down:( I don’t want to leave, he’s my best friend, treats me well and we have fun together. These feelings are just eating away at me inside
Did anyone get clarity on false memories once you stopped ruminating for a while..
My co-worker said that she needed 300 bucks or she would be kicked out of her apartment. I gave her 60 to help her and when she said thank you and that I’m a good person, my POCD and real events OCD kicked in… I never thought of myself as a good person because of the extremely horrible real events when I was 13 that my POCD calls me a P, a chomo, and a child r*pist for… I don’t ever want to be these things in any way shape or form… but I don’t feel like I’m a good person because of extremely horrible real events that I did when I was 13…
My left eye has been numb since yesterday. I think it’s because of a cut or something but it still has me scared. I got an eyelash stuck in it on thanksgiving and when I went to the eye doctor he said that there was nothing at the back of my eye. My mom actually fucking sucks right now, it’s like she gets annoyed when I’m stressed about my eye. She doesn’t even try to comfort me. I hate her so much right now. I’m literally crying my eyes out. She won’t even schedule another appointment for me and it’s making my stress worse. I keep on worrying that my eye won’t regain its movement even after three days. I’m so scared and she’s not helping at all. I don’t know how to label this, so it’ll just be random.
And stop ruminating about what’s done and what’s next? I heard being present helps with overthinking.
i worry i don’t actually have the ability to love sometimes
I guess I'm ruminating a bit too much looking at my past and all. I know it won't do any good. But dang this false memory just feels like a real event now. I have the feeling that I did do it, that I know I did it. That feeling just feels real so its so confusing. It feels like the feeling I get when remembering my real event BUT the thing is, What I am remembering is a real event, its just that my mind is creating more with it creating a whole false memory. Maybe its just latching on to what I know I did and combining with the what ifs and because it "fits" its like welp yeah heres the "memory" and "feeling" of it being done :) Thanks. Also wanting to confess again over my real events cause its like well I didn't fully tell them everything but I know I did/even if I added more itd still kinda be the same really. Idk that feeling of doing that memory and knowing I did more than what my mind is telling me is getting to me so I can't really go back to how I remembered it before because it just didn't feel that way or it just didn't happen like that before you know ? Like a feeling I'm also rwmembering wrong before or didn't know the full details and I'm now remembering them. Is that how it is with false memory ? The feeling like of a remembrance. Whatever. Hopefully I'll be ok again. Hope everyone had a great day 🫂💕
I also confused to my bf I don't know i really hole that isn't true thr thought didn't bring me anxiety but it bothered me I don't think it's ocd
It just feels like I have nobody.
My compulsion to verbally ruminate feels like throwing up in the sense that if I do it, it leads to momentary relief. But as we know with compulsions, if I allow it then later on a greater feeling of needing to throw up overcomes me. Ugh I would so prefer the real stomach bug to this. Do you experience the compulsions to verbally ruminate to loved ones? It’s so distracting, and the urge within my mind is so strong. It’s very difficult, almost excruciating, to lock myself in and fully focus on what my loved ones are saying theee days. Rumination is begging to overhwhelm my mind and pour out of my mouth, and it’s exhausting to keep in. It’s saying, “if you just talk about it, then you can finally peacefully enjoy your loved ones the way you always used to, and you’ll be able to focus on them better!” Which I know just isn’t true. Ocd is the worst :/ Suggestions?
As if it’s not enough to have loads on anxiety leading up to the decision, as soon as I make it, I have tons of anxiety about if it was the right decision! “Maybe you should change it if you can” my brain says. “And do it quickly before its too late” my brain says. Ugh, some decisions - even some that seem like they should be simple - are too hard.
I keep hearing from people who recovered from OCD that the aggressive method helps you the most, but for me that made everything worse. I used that for awhile and after that i started believing that i actually want to do these things like i got a thought that what if i enjoy these thoughts and i said yeah i really enjoy it(this is the aggressive method) and that just made me feel like im programming my mind to become a psycho. And the weird thi g that i started to have excitement when i had these thoughts which made me feel terrible. Could someone help me tell it what i did wrong or if i can recover fast without the aggrrssive method
I find myself feeling guilty for many things. It all feels so real and my religious side wants to repent or seek forgiveness but then I keep questioning if it is OCD. I’ve been struggling with ocd for so long I would think I could tell the difference by now. Because some of the things I feel guilty for happened a long time ago I’m not even sure how accurate the memories are but I always feel like I need to tell my wife too so she knows everything I’ve done or said. It’s like if I don’t tell her I’m being dishonest or maybe putting her kids in danger because maybe I am a pedophile or something. Sorry for the rant but Anyone have tips on recognizing ocd vs real guilt?