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Does anybody else feel as if they already are the sexuality that they fear and that they are just denying it. Im afraid im denyng a part of myself but i don't wanna be that thing that i fear. I have this natural reaction to fight it everytime it crosses my mind, so it can't be real right ? or at least i hope. A year ago i didn't even have this problem.

TW (talk of being diagnosed, may be distressing for those who havent been) guys I havent ever been diagnosed with pocd so how do I know that all of these thoughts arent real I'm so scared, I just feel like a horrible person

ERP works for me, but it seems like I have to do SO much of it every day or it will get bad again, or I constantly have to switch up my ERP bc it becomes less effective. Is this normal? Will I always have to do so much?

Problems don’t always have the same solutions. Sometimes you need to make yourself repeat a bad thought to make it feel less scary, sometimes you need to talk to a loved one about it and it’ll go away immediately, and sometimes if you give it enough time, you’ll see that it’s the problem is a bunch of nonsense and it’ll disappear. It’s important to find a method that works specifically for you and your problem and help yourself however you can!

Are intrusive images a thing? The past few nights I have seen the gay flag or lesbian flag in my dreams or when I’m just waking up... is this a sign I’m in denial? Or could this be a thing of HOCD?

I’m not actively thinking about it but at the same it’s always at the back of my mind is this normal?

Does anyone’s SO-OCD start to list or show what their type of the same sex they’d like? I’ve been ruminating this kind of thing for awhile now and it really makes me anxious. I’ve never been sexually/romantically attracted to women yet somehow- the OCD would target someone I’d fine pretty and lists off my type. It really gives me headaches and makes me nauseous.

read an article about hocd and the people kept saying they weren’t attracted to the same sex at all so they knew it wasn’t that they were really gay. idk if that’s true for me and don’t think it is? now spiraling. also anyone have hocd (tho my head is screaming i don’t have ocd), bpd, and rocd lmao? bc this sh!t rough. tmi but i do enjoy sex with my bf but sometimes feel nothing. i feel something sometimes when i feel he is leaving which is so gross? is that fear of abandonment or love? is this denial or ocd? my mind!!!

There’s a quote by Rumi that goes, “Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the wounded place, for that is where the light enters you.” I really feel like having to deal with this OCD is a blessing in disguise. I have faced what I feel are some of the darkest human experiences and emotions, and somehow I’ve come out on the other side, and much stronger for it. Learning emotional regulation, completely re-learning how I speak to myself, changing my inner dialogue — it’s all because of OCD. So thanks, buddy. What was meant for evil was used for good.

Do you guys ever agree with an intrusive thought and then you don’t have any anxiety?! Is this normal

I keep having this one stupid thought that if I was gay or if I was a guy I’d date this friend of mine and it’s so scary. I never ever thought of her like that before this theme, I just admired her for being such a nice person which is rare with girls at school. I just think that if I had to choose it wouldn’t be terrible since I look up to this friend so much, but I still don’t want to be with her romantically or sexually is the thing but that feels like a lie. It’s more like if I just had to absolutely choose but idk. Stupid brain.

I'm feeling sad. The fact that hocd cant be cured has made me depressed. I miss being a simp for girls back then in school time. I miss fantasizing about girls. I wanna cry so hard but tears are not coming. My life is ruined 😭😭😭😭😭

Because I recently moved in with my boyfriend and moved to a different state, my hocd obsessions are based around the move. I keep getting thoughts that “I ran away from my problems of being gay” or “because I moved out of my hometown I’ll know” and the worst one is “now that I’m living with my boyfriend I’m realizing I don’t want to be with him or love him like that and I’m actually gay (or just don’t want to be with him and would rather be with some other guy).” I even noticed that I have been getting a little sarcastic but In a mean way with him and he asks why I’m being like stand off and that made my anxiety spike. Even if I talk to my parents I get thoughts of how “there daughter is gay” or urges to come out and scenarios of me being out when I go visit them or something. I knew I would get intrusive thoughts with the change but not this bad and it made the feelings of it being real and true come back. Hopefully I can get in to see my therapist soon. UGH

it would be really important for me that someone answer Is it normal with HoCD that its target is a person or it just wants my thoughts to be real and true, I need help

It is not denial. It is acceptance. You are not going downhill, you are recovering. It is not a crime to live with bad thoughts, it is natural. Anytime you have a bad thought, think about this: Without bad, how can there be good? For every bad thought you have there are just as many good thoughts in your head that you’re just too scared to notice. Stand up for yourself against your ocd and you will thrive!

Question for Relationship OCD sufferers: Anyone in this community suffer from "partner-focused" OCD i.e. partner's looks, flaws, etc., and perhaps perfectionism issues? If so, what kind of ERP exercises have you come up for this?

Intrusive thoughts can come in any shape or form right? Bc I just had a thought that sounded just disgusting like “is it bad that I..” and I got a groinal response and didn’t like it then I got some anxiety from it, but the thought came as a response out of the blue like I had no control yk idk if I’m explaining it right which is why I asked the question on top 😭

Wondering if it’s creepy/ stalkery to go to the store my ex-aunt works at? She was a big part of my childhood but divorced my nasty uncle when I was like 11. She works like 2 streets away from my grandmothers house and I want to check out the place she works out and of course I’d like to see here. But is this weird to like go to her place of work just to potentially see her?

Try a couple of these when you're having an ocd attack: 1. Ocd is a narsassist 2. This is a manifestation of my OCD. 3. Maybe maybe not-now don't engage! 4. Ok cool thanks for the information today! That's not what I'm into man thanks though! 5. Ocd is like playing a game of tug of war. We don't need to play the game with it. We need to drop the rope. 6. I'm not participating in this. 7. Yea...i kinda knee that was coming ocd...if there was a spot for ocd to grab something it was that one right there...look what it came up with this time. I knew it was coming so I'm not surprised by it whatsoever These points have helped me to get through some ruminating moments! Hope it helps.

It's real funny how OCD works. Having one theme makes you be feel like its real. Then you get a new theme and youre like "wow that last theme is dumb but this time, it's real" "not ocd this time"

What I don’t understand is what if I can’t control an action one day just like for example I do things in everyday life that I don’t want to do but can’t “control” for example, I tell myself don’t eat that chocolate it’s bad for you and I do it anyways. Can someone provide any insight/help me?

Why is it that when I'm watching tiktoks around my family, I get embarrassed when the "she's at that special age when a girl has only one thing in her mind. Boys? Homicide" sound gets on my FYP to the point I skip those tiktoks before the word "boys" come but I don't feel that when the "But you don't look gay" sound comes?

Can anyone suggest natural supplements that were helpful for anxiety and ocd? Ty

Anxiety is gone but does it still feel real? I don't react but these thoughts and fake attraction and lost attraction to men? Why is it convincing me? I don't wanna be convinced.

That deep down feeling of being straight....it wasssssss there weeks ago. Where is it now? What does that mean?

I am so happy and glad to find this app. I never knew this kind of app existed! I am really grateful. Thank you NOCD

What happens if you can’t figure out how bad of a person you are

my ocd revolves around social anxiety so i compulsively post online to try to control others perception of me, I also compulsively over share and try to let people know I’m self aware of being mentally ill or “crazy” and today my bf messaged me to tell me i’m being unhinged and embarrassing and I want to throw up and cry lol

I can't seem to get out of my head.

Anyone struggle with the mental compulsion of directing attention toward a thought, therefore keeping it in your awareness? Any tips on this?

Trying out a “bring it on!” attitude to ERP. Perhaps I’ll go so far as to be thankful for each temptation to do a compulsion… it gives me another opportunity to fight back by not giving in.

why am i not anxious over this thought i got??? why am i not anxious about anything????

Does anybody else with OCD take things alittle too personally??

I feel like my ocd turned into depression. I’m not getting really getting intrusive thoughts anymore or constantly being anxious but I feel like all the crying and worrying and the scariness of the intrusive thoughts has made me emotionally numb, to the point where my brain is too exhausted to ruminate. Is this possible?

This is literally unbearable- I am so anxious, tense and guilty all the damn time, so much so my muscles ache. I am tired... Tired of this, tired of everything.,.

It's getting out of hand. I started mumbling out the thoughts and it comes with pleasurable feelings as well. It's really scary because they're towards my family and toward God. Sometimes I'd think the thought then mumble it afterwards too. This makes it feel more like me and I don't know if it's OCD anymore because I didn't see anyone experiencing this.

the thought was really scary why am i not freaking out???

i just had a thought that should be super triggering yet i am here sitting watching a movie. why am i not anxious about it enough????

I'm having a hard time between discerning between responsibility and compulsion

OCD is like a school bully that only bothers you because it wants a reaction (compulsion). If you do a compulsion, it encourages the bully to come back for more because you are essentially doing what it wants you to do.

i got an intrusive? thought and it or i said "but what if" and i responded with "no never!" and i cant tell if it was me or an intrusive thought cause it or i responded with "but it iss" like as if the what if was true. it felt so clear im so lost and annoyed

How do y’all tell someone that you have SO-OCD? I’ve been pondering to tell someone close like my mom or my sister just so I want to seek therapy (I haven’t been diagnosed yet). Yet I’m too terrified to do it, I want to get better but I’m also hesitant.

Can HOCD also manipulate us?

Does anyone with SOCD get really obsessed about whether characters in a book or tv show will be gay?

hi! i have a question for whoever reads this. does anyone else get scared that they did something god awful unconsciously? like "what if i hit a person while driving and didnt know it" along those lines. ive been struggling with this and the fear of this happening for a LONG time. i remember when instagram started getting popular, when i was done scrolling i would slowly scroll back up but read through EVERY comment section i passed in fear of me having commented something bad. its like intrusive thoughts to a whole new level :/

Idk why but im so scared of becoming depressed and rn idk why i feel a little down, im so scared im gonna have depression

I hope everyone has a great night. Remember that intrusive thoughts have nothing to do with you as a person. And, the fact that you fight off your bad thoughts so hard proves that you’re not who you’re ocd says you are. But even then, try not to fight them off. Because living with your bad thoughts helps to make them less scary. It’s tough, but it gets easier! Then it gets even easier! Soon you won’t even remember what you were so upset about in the first place! You can and will get though this!

Honestly it feels like my own brain is gaslighting me

scariest question atm : in denial // avoidance or truly just anxiety? having bad groinal responses & panic/being convinced, esp when high !!! the thing is my brain says even if i’m bi i will end up with a woman but mostly it convinces me i’m a lesbian and have never liked my bfs:/ also my bpd & ptsd all meld with my hocd and rocd :( makes it tough

Are intrusive feelings a thing? Like ‘feeling’ like you are what you fear

Guys I don’t think I can do this . It seems like I’m really just becoming a boy now . It won . I feel defeated it feels like nothings working and I can’t feel happy being a woman anymore . It’s taking everything from me . If I become a boy I won’t like it but maybe then it would just stop … I’m tired of fighting. I feel like I’m getting nowhere and I can’t take living like this anymore …

I’m scared that when I see my boyfriend again ( He joined the military and I haven’t seen him in 10 months, developed soocd and fell back into rocd after he left) I won’t feel anything or that I’ll realize I don’t actually love him

Remember that OCD is a liar. It is lying to you. Your rational mind KNOWS the truth. Allow yourself to believe your rational mind.

fellow people with intrusive thoughts, what are facts about ocd that help you realize that it isnt you. this isnt a compulsion

Does anyone else ever fear that some of the intrusive thoughts aren’t actually intrusive?

when i ask for reassurance it doesn't feel as urgent as before. i really don't think I have OCD

i feel like i am in denial because they always say people with hocd know deep down like i don't think i am sure anymore :(

Am I the only one who hates when people say “just don’t label ur sexuality” when trying to help with soocd… like I know what my sexuality is the problem is that my ocd is trying to convince me otherwise lol. It probably works for other people but it just makes me that much more anxious

If I don’t ask for reassurance or say “maybe, maybe not” it just feels like I’m accepting the possibility :(

i think everyone on this app should just not label their sexuality that has SOOCD. that way you aren’t giving the “correct” or “wrong” answer to yourself and furthering the cycle. feel free to disagree

Why does it feel like erp is not working this time ? Does that mean that the thoughts are true this time ? How can I be so sure this is ocd ? Am I faking symptoms to suppress my true feelings ? I can’t tell the truth from the lies anymore . I feel confused about who I am ? Can my identity just change like that ? Can I just become a different person?

Why does it not feel like ocd anymore

I can’t do this anymore. This is too traumatizing to go through. I feel extremely depressed and don’t know what to do

Has anyone ever felt like they truly want to leave their partner when struggling w rocd?

I really want to be in a group chat with other people going through the same thing.

Is it normal to not get intrusive thoughts anymore? Maybe they will come back but right now it’s just obsessing/fearing but no intrusive thoughts. I don’t know what’s happening😞

Anyone try so hard not to give into the compulsions so you don’t let them win and you hit a peak for a few seconds and you’re like yeah I got this!!! And then you’re reminded of the intrusive thoughts and feel like a shitty person and you’re at a low again… lol same

Any ERP tips or experience when my intrusive thoughts tell me I’m not going to get better and end up in the mental institute and not be able to take care of my daughter..

Why was I so happy yesterday night but so depressed today

How come people without ocd can be certain about things? Like for example a person without pocd is probably sure they’re not a p. A person without harm ocd is sure that they’re not going to harm anyone, etc etc. Like why can’t we be sure?

Can anyone with pocd help me? How do I deal with the fact that there is a possibility that I could be a ped0. Like it’s impossible for me to be 100% sure if I am or not, and that scares me so much. How do I deal with this uncertainty?

Has anyone done emdr outside of their erp therapy?

I feel anxious about not getting intrusive thoughts. Does this mean I never had ocd?

NOCD has helped me so much. I have made more progress in the several months I’ve been using NOCD than I have since I was 8 and developed OCD. Kathy, my therapist, is like a miracle worker! A true angel in my life who has helped me to see that OCD doesn’t rule me. OCD will always be a part of me but it is now like a whisper in the back of my head and my own, meaningful thoughts can take center stage.

Anyone with SO OCD suffer more with ‘imagining things’ to happen even though you know they are totally not what you want/know will happen ?

Hi everyone My doctor told me that I should take 60mg dulexetine at morning and 30mg at evening but I don’t know that 30mg at evening could work for my anxiety or not Can anyone help me?

Guys!!!!! By God’s grace I passed my drivers test!!!!!! Hallelujah!!! I’m sooo happy. I can’t believe it. But now I have to work on driving by myself. Wish me luck!!!

So I kinda got crushed by some guy that I've had a crush on for over a year and I was talking to him and hanging out with him for over a month. I told him that I was looking for a relationship in the beginning and he acknowledged that, but he cut things off in the end saying he wasn't sure what I thought we'd become. I thought we had bonding moments, but it kinda turns out that he was just trying to...ya know. I'm sad about it, my ocd is acting up a lil bit. I feel like he kinda played me, but felt bad about it in the end. I've been telling my friends that he played me and my ocd is telling me "what if he didn't tho and you're saying this?" It like goes against my morals and I feel like a bitch about it. Idk I'm just upset because it felt like he genuinely cared, but then he wouldn't be 100% honest with me until the end. I hate that I don't hate him, he does seem like a good guy at heart.

Hi everyone. I have lived with OCD since I was 11 years old, but only recently (I'm 45 now) have I been able to understand the key subtypes for me. Whilst I have experienced most of the subtypes at one time or another, my overarching theme is Moral Scrupulously, with Real/False event triggers and compulsions around certainty and absolutes. I would have categorised it as 'pure o' in the past but on reflection I don't think that's true. Shame is a huge part of it for me. I'm glad I have decided to reach out and take the next step, even if I waited a long time. I'm going through the most acute spike I've had in 8 years and I am determined to do everything I can to recover quickly and safely. The idea of ERP is frightening, not least because I am still mapping things out - how do I know what exposure to do if the landscape changes? Either way I guess I'll find out 👍

Does anyone else’s themes constantly change but relate to your previous fear? I’ve been obsessing over whether or not I’m a sociopath and am terrified.

the worst thing about having soocd and rocd together is that when you get intimate, you think you’re supposed to be with the same sex and that you’d rather be with someone else

I literally have to tell myself out loud that something I'm thinking about or worrying about either is beyond my control or, frankly, none of my concern. I have to be rude to my bossy brain at times because "it" likes to take over...a lot!!

I’m so scared. I feel so controlled by OCD. I don’t know what’s real or what’s not anymore. Everything is fallen apart around me. I barely even recognise my amazing girlfriend anymore because she feels a stranger even though she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. All OCD does is make me feel like I want to break up with her and be with my ex. It’s just so unfair because I know I would probably be never thinking this without OCD but it feels so real. I’m going on vacation with my girlfriend tomorrow and I’m so nervous because of these feelings and urges because I feel like I’m going to let her down and then eventually regret it and afraid she’ll never want me back. It’s so scary all these urges. I just want to feel in love with her again and not my stupid ex in the past.

Can the medication cause weight gain

i’m taking hydrocodone for pain bc i got surgery yesterday, and i’ve been diligently keeping track of times i take them and how much. but i keep getting an ocd thought that i’ve taken several and “haven’t realized it,” or taken more in my sleep, leading to an overdose. i don’t usually count things but i counted the bottle twice already after taking one pill to make sure that’s all i took. i tried not to but i thought it’d help me, but i’m still obv anxious and still mistrust my counting/am convinced i’m taking more. what subset of ocd is this? anyone else experience something similar?

I was diagnosed last night but my obsessions seem so abstract I’m not even sure where to begin with them. I feel like all my thoughts and my whole life is in a giant knot that I tied it in or layers and layers of thick paint on a blank wall and I can’t untie it or peel back the layers I don’t even know where to start . I’m optimistic about ERP but so afraid I won’t even be able to do it.

How can you tell when you’re making progress and continue making it?

Your ocd will do anything to try and scare you. A method I find helpful is to try to joke/laugh about the thoughts it puts in your head. Just make fun of them or jokingly agree with them until they get to feel not as real. It’s hard. It’s very, very hard. But with enough time and patience you will get through it. Never take your ocd seriously or question it, that’s just what it wants. You’re strong and you will overcome this.

How do you know when you are making a decision because you want to vs because OCD want you to? I’ve been trying to notice the difference. I think when it is OCD making the decision, it feels urgent and like something I have to do “or else” and there is a lot of anxiety wrapped up in it. What do y’all think?

Feeling very stressed and anxious this week, I have pocd, harm ocd and I used to have contamination ocd and now it’s coming back and adding to my stress because of Covid, like I’m double vaxxed and stress out over a sore throat and I’m gonna spread the virus and kill so many people etc those are my thoughts and they are just not helping and adding onto everything.

I have a continuing obsession that if I do good then something bad is going to happen. I’ve been doing really well and now I’m scared that it’s like a “calm before the storm” and that tragedy is going to strike

I just bought my first home. I know I should be grateful and happy that I can even accomplish such thing…. But I am so anxious about the move m, I’m freaking out. I keep having doubts about whether or not I made the right choice, if my family will be safe there, what if there’s some threat I don’t know about? I get frustrated because I know many people would just be grateful and excited to have a place to live but instead I’m sad, anxious and scared. I get so mad at myself and I don’t want to ruin it for my family…. This is so hard.

Something I've been struggling with recently is not knowing if I left religion due to my own choice or if it was more of an OCD choice, I say this because everytime I think maybe I could return I get that OCD anxiety I know of all to well saying things like "God wont forgive you" "you've gone too far now" or "you dont fully believe in God so you're gonna go to hell, you're better off staying away". I know part of the reason for leaving was my own choice also but I cant help but think OCD had a big part to play, it's sad really because I hear so many times of people that feel free after leaving religion and I still dont feel like that, I almost feel lost or something.

I have a boyfriend and I'm very much in love with him BUT for some reason all the people I used to have crushes on have been popping up in my head and I don't like it, it makes me nervous

I told my sister about every subtype of OCD I have and I feel so much better not keeping the full extent of my OCD hidden

It feels so weird now. Like I'm not feeling that much anxious ness even though this theme makes me say my thoughts and also comes with feelings so it feels alot like me not the OCD. I feel like I'm faking everything! I don't know what to do anymore as I can't do therapy for many reasons.

Morning! Question of the day: if you had a spirit animal, what would it be? Mine would be a dolphin! Fun and intelligent.

First day of school today, woohoooooo!

Hi so, I am so lazy, and also tired of my laziness, can you recommend me something to do which will help me build a routine and to strengthen my will power and become more active?

Brothers and sisters of NOCD you will never know how much you have changed my life in such a short space of time, to be able to connect with you all and ask questions about a disease that I am only just learning about is really helping me so thank you everyone of ya 😃