From months of dreaded and sickening thoughts and feelings at the thought of dating/flirting with a woman- OCD has now flipped this all and makes me feel like I’m gonna enjoy being with one and that I should look forward to it 🙃
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I'm straight, how do I get my attraction and libido back? Any tips ( I'm confident about my sexuality today cuz it seems that today is a good day and I know that I'll be confused again after 2 or 3 days)
Every time I get intrusive thoughts these days I just accept them as true without even thinking about it. What does that mean? My ocd is real? I just realized this a while ago but I didn’t even notice this whole week I had been doing that.
Why do we feel urges to act on a thought? Where exactly does it come from and how to make it less frequent?
You ever get a gronial response and keep relooking to make sure it’s not really there or it goes away? I seem to do that a lot. See a picture of a kid, feel butterflies in my stomach or the slightest sensation down below then keep checking myself while seeing what triggered me and pretty much every time there’s no movement downstairs or it’s close to undetectable but I still end up panicking. And I feel like if I don’t go back and make sure it goes away that somehow it confirms my fear that I’m a p***. I use to be pretty good at resisting the need to check but lately my anxiety has been getting the best of me.
Hi everyone. I need advice/help on how not to ruminate. That is so tough. I get caught ruminating, even when I think I am not. Then, I try to distract myself in order not to ruminate but that is considered compulsion. Help. Thank you.
Why is existential ocd so freaking difficult compared to other themes?
So I just started a relationship and now my mind is telling me I don't like the person at all and it feels real and I can't tell. Is this ROCD??
Most mistake we make are because we didn’t know..but it doesn’t mean no harm was done so
I am probably completely crazy. I don't trust my own memories. Like i ask myself: Did that really happen or i just imagined it? I don't want to be crazy. I feel very depressed for some days and i have no one to talk to, i don't want to talk to anyone because they'll think i'm crazy. I have no hope anymore.
I suffer from false memory ocd, anyone else who suffers from this? How do you usually know when a memory is completely made up by your own mind?
Each day living is getting difficult even though I have everything to eat.. a house to live in.. books to read.. a family. Yet I have terrible relations and I fear everyone will leave me or a day will come that I will have to leave everyone. A 24 yr old girl who aspires to become a civil servant but today feeling like a failure and burden. Why? Why do I feel so anxious, angry on what people did to me or why my behaviour was not normal like other kids who now have graduated from top IITs, medical colleges or top NLUs and I'm in my bed hiding my face in fear that I'm someone who won't be able to survive. Please help me. Please. I want to build a strong career but I'm already 24 and have severe OCD. No one knows and feels it except for me. People in past have said that you only overthink but my impulsive behaviour.. repeating things again and again.. my obsessions and compulsions have distorted the way a normal individual could think. I dont have money to pay for ERP therepy but I need help. I'll pay off as soon as I get hired. It may take around 2-3 years. So I dont think I'm going to get any support anyhow. I know this platform is good that's why I came here. Please help
For my final exposure my therapist is gonna make me go to a gay club with my two gay best friends 🙃 The thought of a masc lesbian hitting on me and me liking it and wanting to be with them scares me so fucking much omg I feel like I’m a lesbian and I don’t feel attracted to men at all I feel disgusted by them on every level but i dont with women what is this
I don’t understand the thought comes in and if the thought comes in I don’t understand do I genuinely like it cause if i do then my brain goes to ooo thats denial and i get panicky and then i question my panic as a just a way to escape the denial and most of the times I don’t find an answer and the uncertainty makes me go crazy i am losing hold of myself i want normal life and thinking back. Like i wouldn’t have a problem with it and of every single thing i have read online it says if don’t have a problem with it that means you’re in denial and that shit scares me and i question that too its this vicious rut that I can’t seem to get out of. And also earlier i used to find them disgusting and gross now if I don’t my brain doesn’t know how to act or what to believe. There are days that I don’t think about this and i am like calm but then also like you haven’t thought about what does that mean and now suddenly that you do what does that mean if you like these thoughts do you actually or is your brain making you think like that its so bad that I don’t know what to do anymore its like giving up. This living in uncertainty is like crazy bad. I write things here to feel there are others like me and that gives me a sense of relief even if it is for a second. Why is ocd so hard so consuming doing normal life with it is so difficult.
You feel the most , when you stop telling yourself how you “should” feel
Does anyone’s ROCD m Make you avoid all attractive people ? Also fear of developing feelings for someone else other than ur significant other ? Really struggling with this because I want to be with my bf but any time I talk to someone else who I think is good looking (no flirting at all) I instantly feel uncomfortable, and my brain goes into a whirlwind of “u like them” “u want to be with them” “u don’t like ur bf anymore” “you have a crush on them” “ur relationship is over” even when you don’t even know them/know they wouldn’t be good for you
not really sure of what i’m feeling but i’m going to try to just sit with it, no matter what
I need assistance 😭 I love my boyfriend so much and he is so handsome and good looking but my stupid messed up brain is picking out the smallest imperfections on his face and my OCD is making me focus on those instead of on the big picture making him seem unnattractive to my brain 😭 Can anyone give tips on how to stop feeling unattracted to him?? Sometimes I'm so in love with him other times I just don't feel anything then the guilt rolls in 😭
Hello after a nice period without too much anxiety and diving in the hole of reanalysing my thoughts my HOCD is there again the last month. I just visited a new city and my anxiety was increased dramatically. I feel that I like every man that i see in the street. I am trying to tell myself that is result of my OCD but currently seems is not working. Also I started feeling really nervous and anxious when having sex with my girlfriend, cause I am worrying if I have an erectile. Does anyone fee the same?
My OCD symptoms are gone now, not due to therapy (although that did help) but because of reading a few philosophy books, specifically Nietzsche. Nietzsche, in The Gay Science, talked about making your own morality, as an individual, away from the condescending influence of societal morality, thinking beyond the black/white code that society inks upon. Giving yourself freedom to be who you are. It's like how my life changed with this book. I realized that all my life I've been trying to fit in, do and *think* things that are societally acceptable, which I assume was the root cause of my OCD, and now I don't give a shit at all. I've finally realized what "freedom" means.
I’m watching a movie where a guy and girl are kissing and when I’m trying to look at the girl I keep noticing the guy in the background or i just notice him in general... 😭😭😭 and it’s making me feel anxious and my HOCD is making me think that I don’t want women 😭😭😭
Does anyone with false memory theme ignore the thoughts , then your scrolling on social media or doing something totally not to do with your thoughts. And you see something that makes you have the thought like oh my God I did do that horrible thing because I saw something I think I remember or the thought or what you see feels "familiar"?? Please help me I was doing so good now I seen something I'm like omg I think I remember that so I did do that horrible thing .... :(
My partner and I recently had our 3 year anniversary, and it’s been incredible. I love him so much and celebrating our relationship is important to me, but recently I think my relationship OCD has been triggered. I keep wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Should I still be with him? Is 3 years too long? What if it doesn’t work out? Will I wish I ended it now? But at the same time I love him and want to build a future with him. I feel like my options are to get married within a year or break up within a year, but neither feel right. I want to be content with where we are now, but the uncertainty of it all is driving me crazy. I’m also worried that since we’ve been dating so long that I’ve become dependent on him/lost myself. I don’t think this is true, in the past we both worked on avoiding codependency actively. But now I’m feeling myself slip and I’m afraid I’m not capable of doing this without him. I’m by myself for the first time in a while tonight and I’m noticing how unraveled I am, I’m just afraid this means I need to end things? I know this is a jumble of thoughts and worries and I don’t know what I expect to gain, I just need to get it out there somewhere
How would you describe ocd to someone? I’m just curious as I am sitting here trying to calm down after spiraling. I think (since Real event is my main theme and I would say my other themes are branches of it) I would describe it as doing something wrong, that you don’t agree with, that you know is against your personality, against yourself, and having that event or those words playing on replay everyday of your life
It has been a GOOD week for OCD in my household. I was able to cut showering back to once a day and hand washing down to only after I use the bathroom. I still have a long ways to go but I have had so much less to do these past few days. My intrusive thoughts are still there but I am finding myself being much better about ignoring them! If you’re at the end of your rope with OCD just know I was there just a few weeks ago and it WILL get easier.
Also, does anyone feel like they almost have like two brains? not personalities just feeling okay and not okay? hard to explain
How many of you have recovered from ocd? I know we tend to come here for support during our struggles but I know many ppl have recovered from a theme or ocd symptoms period. Can you share your story if you have. The prevailing story is that ocd is chronic but there are many voices off this app saying they are living proof that ocd doesn't have to be chronic.
I think I completely misunderstood my ocd, looking back during my time with ocd it dosent feel like I even had it. And rewinind even further to my life before ocd i think i was always gay and never became aware of it. Im so sad and unhappy
tw relationship ocd i’m not in a relationship but honestly the guy i like i’ve liked for a very very long time. maybe i sound dramatic but i do feel really attached to him and i feel empty when i’m not with him. but now i’m worried that i only like him for attention and that i’m a narcissist gaining supply out of him. i enjoy dressing up and feeling pretty if i know i’m gonna see him, and i plan things to say and stuff. it’s exciting to me. but my fear is that it’s ALL based on that, and not about him. which makes me sad to be honest, and hopeless.
Does anyone else try to find problems out of for example your partner? And then you have a bad day and kind of try to blame your partner even tho he didn't do anything?
I have always felt terrible about myself, the crazy thoughts in my head, this guilt that I was a bad person for whatever reason. I aged and it faded but it was always there in some form, no matter what I did I was doing it with bad intentions. I always felt less than others at everything. I guess it’s the life I was destined to live.
Does anyone else experience major anxiety and depression over past mistakes? At this rate I’m not sure if it’s ocd making me obsess over making it seem worse than it is but I genuinely feel like no one would ever love me if the knew what ive done. Ive messed my life up to the point of no return, it makes me feel like giving up.
Just looking for a listening ear since I can’t find a therapist: I’ve been depressed since I discharged from a general hospital. I was sent there by my ED (eating disorder) specialist and spent a week there. I wasn’t in crisis and I had no medical problems. The reason I was sent was to get an established meal plan and to start the weight restoration process (after I spent 7 weeks at ED residential treatment and failed). Anyways, here’s why I’m depressed: Whenever I discharge from somewhere, a solid discharge plan is never established. My team at the hospital said “Goodbye and good luck!” and gave my mom and I a list of therapists to call. I’m really angry and depressed because I’m in the exact same position I was before I went there (except now I have a meal plan and my weight is higher). I have no general therapist (I’ve given up looking for a specialist). The hospital couldn’t find one and I can’t either. I’m tired of this. And I’m not in a great recovery mindset. I’m having so many thoughts to relapse and it’s scaring me. For context, I’m 16 and I’ve been in and out of hospitals for my ED and OCD since I’ve been 11.
Please help! I’ve got so used to my HOCD thoughts that now when I have ‘straight’ thoughts they make me so anxious. This morning I felt myself really attracted to women (like I used to be) and it made me so panicky. Now I sometimes catch myself calling myself “gay” and it doesn’t feel me with anxiety which then in itself makes me anxious. And now when I am attracted to a women I feel anxious. It’s like the HOCD has reversed itself. It’s as if. At first the gay thoughts made me anxious and uncomfortable, then they just made me uncomfortable. Now the straight thoughts make me anxious but not necessarily uncomfortable?
I went to see the people who havent spoken to me because of covid yesterday to get reassurance it wasnt because of my OCD. I feel terrible today.......the lady I spoke to was nice enough to me but I seriously think she is suffering from dementia. She helped me get over my OCD last time but when I asked her if it was because of my OCD they have fallen out with me she said...'OCD???? No.....' I must have asked her about 4 times and at one point she said she must have OCD........She was a bit confused and now I have terrible anxiety. She said her husband didnt want to see me. I asked her why they were like this and she said oh the stuff that has been going on with the injections and stuff......They are in their mid 70s. I have such anxiety today. How can I do an ERP to stop myself from going over the conversation I had with her yesterday? I felt okay afterwards yesterday but today I have been sick with the anxiety. Please help me because I am so upset. I wish I had never gone round there. And I know seeking reassurance makes it worse. I am my own worse enemy. I cant stand this anymore. Why wont my brain just leave me alone? They were so kind to me when I had OCD 2 yesrs ago and even read up on it so why does it torture me like this now? I hate people falling out with me and fear I will never get over this one. I dont want to live anymore with OCD.
I feel like my ocd is throwing all it can at me! I’ve finally found my attraction to women again. But it’s sort of making me anxious that I feel somewhat normal. Now it’s like my OCD is saying “you don’t want this now do you?” It just feels like either way Im only content with the opposite of how Im feeling? Now if I have a fantasy or something Like that I end up telling myself that it was intrusive when I was the one who brought it up not my ocd? Is this level of being uncomfortable normal with recovery? Because right now these old feelings coming back feel so alien, I had got so used to always fighting my thoughts that it feels like I can’t stop fighting the thoughts that I want to have either.
TW POCD Please help. If you drink alcohol and you have intrusive thoughts during the m word (me time) does that mean they are true? The whole time I was trying to ignore them and trying to make them go away which unfortunately didn’t work it just made it worse but it doesn’t make it true when you have alcohol right? They are still unwanted intrusive thoughts? Because I really hope they are not true. I was sort of drunk but not to a point where I wasn’t aware of what I was doing so I was still able to try to tell myself that it’s just lies and to ignore them. I’m scared to death. I don’t want to be a monster 💔
I’m going to start new meds in a few weeks and I’m hella nervous. Although the new meds are proven to work better with managing OCD, they will be much stronger than what I’m currently on. This new medicine is called Prozac. Has anyone been on it? What was/is it like. Any advice?
Brothers and sisters, dare to see your intrusive thoughts as not absolute truths but as the lies that they are. See them and compare them to your values, they will not match, therefore move along, thoughts aren't by nature truth, they're simply thoughts. God bless you
Hocd TW... This is so messed up, I used to be in a hocd support group with this guy who I became good friends with, He eventually left that group, I still spoke with him but cold turkey ignored him for 2 months bc I used to get triggered everytime I was chatting with him, we started talking again and now he says he is bisexual, Ive told him several times that he probably confused himself by ruminating too much but he says he feels real attraction to men now and its stronger than women. Its such a discouragement talking to him now bc he used to a very positive guy, he still is but says he is bisexual now. Smfh. If it happened to him, it will happen to me too.
I feel numb and heartbroken. Not sure who to talk to. I need more therapy sessions as well
What is our generation’s OBSESSION with sexuality??? I understand and absolutely LOVE the progression, but at this point it’s becoming toxic……and especially hard for people who are OCD. All I see on social media is posts regarding gender or orientation. Which is cool and all, but some of the wording on these posts persuade/ force people in a box of conformity.
TW: SOOCD I don’t know if this is me secretly somehow looking for reassurance but I just want to vent because I saw someone post about how they had and have SOOCD and ended up being gay anyway. It filled me with so much fear and I can’t help but think is that what’s going to happen to me? Was my initial thought 7 years ago real and denial convinced me I might have SOOCD as that would feel like a better outcome than actually being gay? I know that sounds so horrible because I have nothing against the LGBTQ+ community at all, I just don’t want to have to leave my current relationship, I feel so scared and alone.
There are so much more things about you than your intrusive thoughts. You have ocd but you aren't ocd. I am Cesar, I am a musician, I am a beloved child of God. I am mexican, I am very funny. I am glad to be alive. I am excited for the good days that are coming. I am excited for the holidays. I am a heavy metal fan. I am anxious at times. I am happy and patient when it rains. I am deciding to not believe the lies that ocd says. I am living my life today. Who are you?
Success story! After spending too much time ruminating the last two days, being tired of beating myself up and trapping myself, I decided that I’m done today. So the thought popped into my head many times. And it was scary. And I don’t know all the answers. But I don’t give a shit anymore. I don’t care if someone thinks I’m right or wrong or I deserve good things or I don’t. I want to be happy and love myself, so I’m going to be happy and love myself. Do I still have some anxiety, yes. Did I ruminate or ask for reassurance today, no. It feels a little easier now than it did earlier in the day after resisting all day long. I still have uncomfortable feelings but feelings are just feelings so I don’t care. My baby could be born any day now, the doctor said possibly as soon as tomorrow! He needs a mama who is going to show him what it’s like to handle uncertainty and love yourself no matter. 💪🏻
I’m afraid about starting ERP. Having anxiety is very distressing to me (I can’t imagine anyone enjoys it) and the idea of saying my anxious thoughts out loud makes me afraid that they will happen. It’s hard for me to voice my fears out loud because then they feel so real, like I can’t hide from them. Has anyone felt like this before ERP?
When did everyone start feeling better after erp / counseling?? I’m beginning erp next week—I was learning cbt and act for the past three months to learn how to cope with the thoughts, urges and feelings Now I’m onto the main treatment My whole thing is not knowing if I am a lesbian or not, that’s what gives me so much anxiety. But not wanting to be a lesbian, but also feeling like i dont wanna be straight. Just ya know classic ocd I don’t know how much longer I can survive with this
Anyone suffering from loss of attraction?
Hi everyone, I am suffering from pretty intense OCD and anxiety, specifically in regards to relationships. It has caused me to cut off friendships, cancel dates last minute and now I’m considering taking back two cats I adopted. My fear of commitment and my intense compulsions to do something to fix the problem (avoid, end, etc.) are eating away at me. I can barely eat, sleep and function. If you’ve ever felt this way and feel you’ve gotten better, please respond and let me know your experience. I am stuck.
i hope someone can relate to this. i feel like i just did something bad and i feared i would do it in the moment. now some minutes later, i can remember me doing it or i don’t know that i’m creating a false memory from thinking so much.
When you’re anxiety is down, can your intrusive thoughts/feelings make you sometimes feel indifferent to them or even good? It’s like I don’t want to have them but I don’t absolutely hate them like I used to. They just seem a bit silly to me because they’re so far fetched that I almost enjoy it?
QOTD: What would you say to the community without OCD if you had the chance? I would merely make sure everyone knew the crap we have to go through every day, but I would thank them for being there-ish for us.
Does anyone else here have ocd that is the fear of making mistakes? but not nessecarily scared of making the mistakes, but more of what other people might think, do or say about you because of that mistake? Like I don't mind making mistakes, I mean we're humans, we all do that. but what bothers me is when people bring up that mistake and makes me feel guilty for it. I've been a victim of narcicisstic abuse so my whole live I've been scared of disappointing ANYONE because of a thing that I didn't mean to do or regret doing. I don't ruminate on the mistake itself, but on the possibility of being in danger or being hurt because of the mistake. My fear focuses more on my fear of abusive people than on myself. Like each time i make a mistake, i think, "am I gonna be hurt/dissappointed again because of this?" Another example of mine is when I look a certain way, i think, "does that i mean I'm going to be verbally abused and belittled again because of that one stain on my clothes?"
My SO-OCD thoughts feels so real, sometimes I feel like I’m in on the brink of giving in and just admitting that they’re true. I don’t want to date women or have sex with them, but I do sometimes feel what could be arousal when I see pictures or videos of scantily clad women. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this about a woman in real life, but I have these feelings to images and videos designed to be sexually stimulating. These feelings always make me uncomfortable, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are there. I feel pretty numb towards men, including sexy pictures of men, and I’ve always been nervous around sex and any form of intimacy. I think I may be asexual, but then I worry that I’m using that label to hide from the truth. I like men, but I worry that I don’t like them enough.
I'm super anxious and my suicide OCD thoughts are here. Im on a call with friends but I feel like crap. Please give me tips.
Feeling like i have a evil side inside of me or presence and that It will take over and act on my thoughts idk if this is ocd or not but idk how to cope anymore, i need help
Trying my best to word this without asking for reassurance- I am really struggling with the thought that I may have lied about something to my husband 2 years ago and that it was something important. I don’t remember feeling like I was lying at the time. I believe I probably left out certain information because I did not think it was relevant to his question, but now my mind is trying to tell me that I thought I was lying at the time and/or he would think it’s a lie. I am trying to remind myself that this is a very gray situation, and that someone can say something is a lie, and someone else can say it’s not a lie, and that’s it’s a matter of opinion. My main compulsion is confession and I’m really sitting through the urge right now because I know if I confess this something will just take it’s place. Any feedback on dealing with obsessions around lying?
Feelings vs urges Hey everyone, I have been dating my amazing girlfriend since January this year. I can safely say she is the best thing to have ever happened to me. She literally goes above and beyond to make me happy. However, my ROCD latched onto my ex a few weeks ago and is convincing me I want her. Bare in mind, I’ve had this thought/feeling about other girls before this thought and it would usually last a few days until it switched to another girl. Therefore, I know this is ridiculous as there are moments of clarity where I can just laugh at it and be like that’s stupid because of how toxic and evil she was. She cheated on me in the end which is the reason we broke up. Now OCD looks for every problem it can find in my current girlfriend and it makes her out to be the problem and makes my ex out to be some sort of angel even though I know deep down what she is. Then OCD tries to come up with things I may have done in the past which caused her to cheat which I believe to be false memory OCD as I struggle to remember. It’s so hard as I am so disconnected from my girlfriend and it makes her feel a stranger. Then it compares her to my ex if she does something we disagree/argue on and convinces me if you can forgive her why can’t you forgive your ex and get back with her which I cannot express anymore I don’t want. It’s driving me insane. Can anyone relate please I’m begging? I just want peace. I want OCD to focus on the good in my girlfriend for once instead of that other w**re.
Have a guilt problem with my ocd as I’ve never gone to get it diagnosed. I just don’t feel the need to as I’m not confident about many things, but having ocd is one of them and haven’t opened up to family yet. Is it a problem to not get it diagnosed when I know I have it? It kind of makes me feel like i have a lesser struggle than those who do
I need to vent... So I have this dream where I was doing what my obsessions content is and (POCD and Harm OCD), I am doing my best to not ruminate and I been doing really well, but at the same time I am really scared. Because I am alone doing ERP without therapist (in my country is way too expensive). So my OCD is telling the same lies as usual, but this morning I fight with my mom and OCD is trying to tell me that I am fraud, wich I know is not true, but sadly still hurts. Whoever is reading this, I just want to tell you, THANK YOU SO MUCH, and I hope you have a good day. ☺️👋
A song I think really relates to ocd that is chill is everything is alright by motion city THAT ONE IS SPOT ON TRUST ME PLEASE CHECK THAT ONE OUT they literally talk about checking repetitively and counting as well as cleaning Another one I relate to ocd is making plans for Nigel by xtc That one feels like when the voices r in control rather than u n when the compulsions make u feel like things r good If u guys like heavy metal you should listen to ocd by suicide silence And look up the lyrics cuz it’s relatable to the emotions you feel with ocd
If ur feeling worthless and down listen to priceless by king and country. Its a really good song!!
Lately I’ve been scared remembering a dream I had a while back where I acted inappropriate to say the least with a child , I remember waking up that day feeling so guilty that my consciousness even let me do what I did in my dream I felt so scared that I had to tell my mom n I felt so disgusted n horrible n just needed reassurance that I’m not a pedo Does anyone have any ideas for dealing with dreams like this ?? I’m scared one day I might get one again n in general it’s so hard to even handle the memory that I even had a dream like that
So I realized that now that I don't get as much anxiety when I get intrusive thoughts it's hard to determine if I actually am them or which are intrusive thoughts. But I think that I was using the signal my brain gives me with the intrusive thoughts as reassurance. I seemed the anxiety even tho I hated it. So this is a weird sit with uncertainty.
Does anyone else feel like they’d actually like the thoughts if they were to do it in real life and don’t wanna feel that??
Sometimes I like to think myself as the tragic main character that the readers are rooting for. It helps me coping with OCD. Am I allowed to feel this way even though it's really pathetic and laughable? Can I?
Can you get to a point where your body is exhausted from anxiety so you still have all the same thoughts but you feel indifferent to them? I’m so confused at the moment with what’s going on in my head.
I’m suffering from TOCD and I hate when people say “well, cis/straight people don’t question their sexuality/gender so you must be some part of the LGBTs” and that’s not how it works at all
If you give into a compulsion, ruminate, seek reassurance,.etc. on your recovery journey, don't feel bad. Celebrate the small wins..celebrate delaying a compulsion, stopping your rumination in your tracks. It takes time to retrain your brain. You will get better and be the beacon of hope for others.
Does anyone experience bad depersonalization? The symptoms of this frighten me so much and I haven’t learned how to cope or overcome this. It triggers my ocd even more because I’m always ruminating about my sanity and what’s wrong with me.
I hate how I become so obsessed over someone... I don't like it and I wish I wasn't. I get easily attached to people that it literally hurts me! I get very jealous... And me being jealous makes me angry I hate it I wish I wasn't like this! I'm literally terrified that my jealousy and obsessions will make me a bad person in the future and scared I will do bad things to people because of how I get!
Why do I only get ocd thoughts when I pray at night it’s like it waits for the right moment to attack me
Just feel sad. I have no more anxiety it feels like with my intrusive thoughts. It’s like my body wants these thoughts and I hate it. I just want this to end
I’ve lost the intense anxiety, but still have the thoughts/ feelings and urges that used to cause the anxiety. It’s made it all just feel so real and almost like I want it to be true. I just feel so in denial… I was happy before this and content with my life and the constant ruminating has made me question my entire life up to this point. All the things I thought I wanted seem like I’m not allowed them now, I feel guilty staying with my partner. I can’t even feel if I love them anymore? Yet every now and then, quite rare these days. I have these moments when I’m with her where the whole world just stops and I feel normal again. But they only last a few seconds and then I remember everything my mind has said to me thus far.
My contamination ocd is getting worse everyday idk what to do. I have to wear socks whenever I go downstairs to avoid crumbs touching me, then when I go back to my room I have to change my socks because anything “dirty” couldve touched my socks. I cant have “dirty” towels or my shower curtain touch me after a shower, and if my curtain touches me I have to re-shower. I make “clean” areas in my house where only I can sit and if someone rearranges it I go crazy. I only touch certain parts of doors and handles. I have to wipe down every chair I sit in. On top of real event ocd, POCD, intrusive thoughts, false memories, and intense anxiety, this is all getting very difficult.
Does anybody else get rage or anger or frustration from having to do ERP? Or not doing your compulsions causing anger and frustration?
So, I know what false memory OCD is, my question is can it make you remember something in complete details and images? I've read so much about false memory OCD, but it's really confusing how real it looks and feels.
drove this morning without recording or going back!! i’m gonna recognize this as an accomplishment and be proud of it!!
i want to ask y'all a question: can rumination not only be sitting and just running stuff through my head? like can posting be rumination???? i just want to know so i could label it as that and try to maybe limit it?
PLEASE HELP - i am 16 years old and my parents do not want me to get a therapist as they believe nothing is wrong with me. i suffer from both HOCD and ROCD although that doesn’t matter because ocd is all the same no matter the theme. before my boyfriend i went through a loss of attraction, i would sit and ruminate all day and beg for my attraction back, i would cry and want to kms because i jsut felt absolutely nothing, i would try and feel sad over my last heartbreak jsut to prove i felt it, then, i don’t know how, i got my attraction back, i didn’t wake up one day and it was back, it just came back over time although i don’t remember how. in that time i developed a crush on this guy and now we’re practically dating it’s been a week but these past 3 days, that same numbness and loss of attraction is back, anytime he says anything romantic to me i feel numb, and i know it’s not just him, i feel numb to sad moments in tv shows or to my passions but my main focus is about attraction, how do i get my attraction back?? or how do i let go of the need? the thing is, when my boyfriend says romantic things to me, it sort of triggers me, i dont want to avoid him, i know i’m attracted to him, otherwise i wouldn’t wanna be with him, but how do i feel it again? i’m so obsessed with not feeling it and feeling numb but it’s the same thing as before, how do i let it go? i dont really get intrusive thoughts anymore, it’s more of this lack of feeling, i’m scared i’m not attracted to him, i keep trying to feel it and idk how to stop. please help.
I cant stop missing this girl that I cant be. I wonder if she thinks and feels the same. Yet i have HOCD because of the trauma from her and I which makes no sense. I hope she's okay
Anyone else on here have trichotillomania? Just finished pulling out most of my eyelashes :(
Good evening and happy Sunday OCD warriors!! This is my first time making public of what I’ve been going through but I’ve struggled my whole life with OCD and it’s themes. I’m currently dealing with ROCD, primarily partner focused OCD and everything ROCD entails. It started off as me seeing a photo of my gf (almost a year together) and thinking that she was unattractive. I felt so guilty and thought how could I think this of my partner? This ended up to me obsessing over my partners flaws and I was convinced that my partner was unattractive and atrocious (OCD always blows things out of proportion) It got to the point where I started questioning if I loved my partner or not, feeling so real and convinced that I didn’t. I know this is reassurance but I just want to know if I’m the only one out there feeling this? I feel like my feelings have changed and I feel repulsed by my partner and I have terrible thoughts/feelings where I don’t want to be around them anymore or what if I am annoyed by them and everything they do will set me off? I know OCD has tricks but it feels so real and I can’t tell if I am in denial and maybe my partner is not right for me? I want to be with my partner so bad but it seems like my body is rejecting even the thought of her :(
Has anyone successfully treated avoidance as a compulsion without being able to identify the obsessions behind it? I’m a few decades into OCD and understand rationally that the obsessions and compulsions aren’t related in reality so I stopped performing compulsions/engaging obsessions over time and slowly descended into this prison where I can’t and don’t do anything.