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Hello everyone, im struggling with something and i need your opinion. So for years i said to myself that i have suicidal ocd because i have random thoughts and images about that and i dont want to do it, but i always felt that what if its real suicidal thoughts and i just say that its ocd to avoid the pain. So today i did the "search" in me and i found out that sometimes when life is bad i really think that i want to die, and a feeling follows that too. And realizing that i started to feel soo much shame and i felt depressed bc of maybe im i danger and that how dare im thinking about that. And then i felt worse bc i thought about how my family will react to that, what feelings i would give to them. And then i read about suicidal ocd and i found out that all this shame and feelings its ocd, so i was like what the hell?! So the question is can i have both, i mean suicidal thoughts and suicidal ocd? By suicidal though i mean(i dont want to live, life is mean). Its just that but im even affraid that it will be worse thoughts...😅😅 and i dont know how to accept if i have these thoughts bc i feel shameful having these...(maybe im broking the rules but i want this bc where i live theres no one who specialize with ocd and i need this aswer to know the truth if i have ocd or not)

It just feels like I’ll never be able to get the girl of my dreams... everything’s reminding me how single I am, not to mention the HOCD intrusive thoughts... 😞😞😞

Something really stressful is happening to me and I need your advice. in fact tomorrow i will start again the sport i stopped because of the pandemic, cheerleading. in the team there is a person who is lesbian and on whom my hocd it was attached a few years ago and I really want to start again because I like her but I already know that I am going to have a bad time and I don't want that to change what I have with my boyfriend

I don’t wish this crap on any body. The constant fear, anxiousness, guilt & feeling like a terrible person ALL the time

Currently struggling pretty hard :/ I have so many different intrusive thoughts I couldn’t possibly ask for enough advice on this forum, i just hope I can start treatment soon. My fears and anxieties have left me house ridden. I’m unable to socialize and only leave to get my partner to and from work. I can barely go to the grocery store and have developed an eating disorder from my ingredient obsessions. I’ve been unemployed over a year and the idea of feeling THIS paralyzed leaving the house while also being expected to go to work and perform makes me feel ill. I’ve had dermatillomania my entire life and my “nails” are nothing but fingers with teeny unbelievably thin slivers of nail matter left and I have a bad habit of getting lost in my nail biting or taking sharp objects to my face for hours on end. I have to ask my boyfriend are you still alive every few hours. I feel like any angle from which OCD could attack you, I’m being crippled from. I’m uninsured and I have been relying in emergencies on a bottle of beta blockers from three years ago, I have four left and I’m very scared. I’m feeling very low guys. Wishing for relief.

Does anyones OCD make you think that people think your OCD thoughts were real even though they realised how much you were suffering and helped you out of an episode? This obsession is driving me nuts. I am doing erp but think I am obsessing that this episode wont go and it is sticking around for so long this time. When I listen to the erp I dont think I am doing any compulsions but I suppose I am trying to remind myself that these people would never think this of me. I am so sick to death of this obsession now.

Can someone help please? 🆘 I’m really scared I don’t want to lose my love for guys and I don’t wanna start any thing with the opposite of guys. I want the opposite sex I don’t want girls I don’t want the parts! I can’t stop thinking but I don’t want a combination of the two things that’s for sure lol. Sorry just trying to be a little lighthearted but it’s not really working. My palms are sweaty I don’t understand. I said I don’t want you and I’m scared like can I have it I don’t like girls I don’t want to add a team so to speak I want pectorals come back and I keep acting like but I don’t want torpedoes. I don’t want boobs I am scared I almost feel better thinking saying how I don’t want women and focusing on the W like but I don’t want women but I can’t stop thinking of the letter W as though I do. I don’t want women I don’t wanna feel better saying as thought when I don’t!

I’m scared you guys. I don’t want this to be a possibility and I almost said that I am but I’m not really prepared for. Can sexual orientation change? I don’t want to switch or add a team! 🥺 I’m scared I don’t want to I know it’s part of life but I don’t wanna fall out of love with my guy. Definitely don’t wanna add girls to the team I felt funny saying that but I really don’t wanna do it. I wake up arguing with myself which is unfortunately normal but what scares me right now is that I was trying to say guy/guys I’m scared I see these phrases right and that’s one of them. I’m trying to feel better saying but I don’t want women/men I don’t I don’t want women. And yet I’m afraid and I feel better I don’t want to be bisexual but if I’m straight why would I feel better saying that one I don’t wanna I’m scared I don’t want women. I’m scared I feel better saying that and I feel worse leaving them out and I don’t understand what that means! I don’t want women I want guys/men And yet I almost started to get anxious in my palm starting to sweat leaving them out I don’t trust anything and I feel confused I don’t want women! I’m scared and I’m scared I’m so tired I said so what I don’t wanna start liking women I don’t like their parts. And yet my throat closes no I’m leaving them out and I’m simply must be I’m tired and I feel like giving up at and can’t stop I don’t wanna lose my feelings for my guy and I don’t wanna have any I don’t like women’s parts I don’t have any for women they’re not simply anything boobs are not lovely. So I don’t understand how come I feel worse excluding them and I’m afraid of how I felt including I don’t want it I don’t want to feel better saying that I’m sorry I can’t breathe. I don’t don’t want women sexually I don’t want women in any kind of way. I don’t want women! Yeah I’m scared I do I choke up when I expose them I don’t want girls I don’t want to feel it better saying it like it doesn’t I don’t know if it feels right but it’s like for some reason I just have this really strong urge to say it and I said it in my head but I don’t want girls if I’m straight why would I say that in my head? I’m fine I am I don’t wanna look at girls differently I don’t want to see them in my head naked and feel different I don’t want to look at them different I don’t want to change. It almost feels wrong to say no I’m scared I am now I’m not resisting for anything I’m scared it almost why would I feel wrong if I’m straight?! And there’s no if I’m not attractive I’m not interested I’m not I can’t breathe I’m so sorry. I’m not and I don’t understand why would I feel better adding I don’t want women

I’m really struggling this morning. I’m in the last week of graduate school and I am really scared about having a month off before I start my new job. Not having a routine is really hard because I feel like my obsessions get really intense. Does anyone else feel like this? What are some of the things you do to reduce the obsessions when you don’t have routine?

The one thing I don’t know how to do is if I date, how would I let my significant other know about my POCD? I wouldn’t want to keep secrets but I don’t feel like it would be the easiest conversation. Does anyone have advice for how they did so with their significant others?

I need help. Struggling so bad with derealization and I believe I have harm OCD. It’s endless torture everyday and now super mundane things I question. I’m questioning everything about myself

Sometimes I ask myself "Did I always have horrible thoughts like this? We're they always in my life? If so, how come I weren't so focused on it like I am now?" There are so many things I regret when I were younger but at the same time I've done good things. I always strive to be a good person. Not perfect, but good. I always worry that I'm not though. Why does this happen? Why do these thoughts always go to the worst things imaginable? It's never anything polite or positive. Most of the time it's just occupied with negative thoughts based on pretty much anything that would make me sick.

I'd like to hear people's recovery stories with harm ocd. I need some encouragement.

Tell me the story what triggered your OCD the first time? Mine was when I had pneumonia when I was 13 and it was really scary experience so I was afraid that I was going to die.

There are no OCD specialists near me and my insurance doesn’t cover NOCD teletherapy. Would I be better off trying to find a regular therapist, or performing ERP by myself at home? My OCD is not severe at this point in time, I don’t know if that makes a difference

Pls help.:: Soooo my bf and I took a break 2 weeks ago cuz I kept accusing him and being crazy. And he needed me to stop. He cried and everything to me. I took that break (it was a week) to focus on me and feel good alone in case he decided to leave me for good. So he didn't & we got back together. It's been 2 weeks and it's been good and I been good. Tonight tho we had a small minor occurrence, he unfollowed this girl next to me and then I noticed he re followed her and so I asked him if he was sure he did it and he got mad at me. I didn't tell him I saw it cuz that woulda caused more stuff. This was on me for going back to that toxic behavior. Clearly I didn't learn too much. It turned into a hugeeee thing and he practically said the same thing that he is afraid to leave me because he doesn't feel like I'm stable and that I'd lose my job and apartment and all of that. He thought of leaving me but didn't cuz he loves me and all these things. In the end he just said I don't even wanna talk about it I'm just gonna have to deal with this, I'm a sucker and u just walk all over me. And that my ocd was ruining our relationship & he should've left me a long time ago. Some background for the last 2 1/2 years we were on&off exclusive but not OFFICIAL and he was fucking up constantly talking to girls and hooking up with them! (We been dating officially seriously committed for a year and he hasn't messed up once) but my point is I didn't give up on him cuz I knew he had some issues and he got better and I gave him that chance. He hasn't fully given me a chance and now knowing he just expects the worst from me and is afraid to leave me makes me more worried now. Like what if I get better and he still leaves or he just will end up being with me even tho he just feels scared to leave? Like wth. I'm so confused and upset and he's asleep so I can't even figure it out. We are such an amazing couple but these issues have arouse a lot and it has to do with me not behaving this way. When I say he changed, mean he CHANGED SO MUCH. He is such a different man and amazing to me and I never wanna lose him but I also don't want him with me for the wrong reasons, being he's just scared I won't be ok.

Soooo my bf and I took a break 2 weeks ago cuz I kept accusing him and being crazy. And he needed me to stop. He cried and everything to me. I took that break (it was a week) to focus on me and feel good alone in case he decided to leave me for good. So he didn’t & we got back together. It’s been 2 weeks and it’s been good and I been good. Tonight tho we had a small minor occurrence, he unfollowed this girl next to me and then I noticed he re followed her and so I asked him if he was sure he did it and he got mad at me. I didn’t tell him I saw it cuz that woulda caused more stuff. This was on me for going back to that toxic behavior. Clearly I didn’t learn too much. It turned into a hugeeee thing and he practically said the same thing that he is afraid to leave me because he doesn’t feel like I’m stable and that I’d lose my job and apartment and all of that. He thought of leaving me but didn’t cuz he loves me and all these things. In the end he just said I don’t even wanna talk about it I’m just gonna have to deal with this, I’m a sucker and u just walk all over me. And that my ocd was ruining our relationship & he should’ve left me a long time ago. Some background for the last 2 1/2 years we were on&off exclusive but not OFFICIAL and he was fucking up constantly talking to girls and hooking up with them! (We been dating officially seriously committed for a year and he hasn’t messed up once) but my point is I didn’t give up on him cuz I knew he had some issues and he got better and I gave him that chance. He hasn’t fully given me a chance and now knowing he just expects the worst from me and is afraid to leave me makes me more worried now. Like what if I get better and he still leaves or he just will end up being with me even tho he just feels scared to leave? Like wth. I’m so confused and upset and he’s asleep so I can’t even figure it out. We are such an amazing couple but these issues have arouse a lot and it has to do with me not behaving this way. When I say he changed, I mean he CHANGED SO MUCH. He is such a different man and amazing to me and I never wanna lose him but I also don’t want him with me for the wrong reasons, being he’s just scared I won’t be ok.

Is anyone else having a really difficult time with their Real Event and False Memories? I’m having a horrible night right now. I’m terrified, terrified of “what if”. This is horrible, I don’t know what else to do.

How do you set good habits without them turning compulsive?

I think I’m afraid to get better but I don’t know why because I hate ocd