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i have to take this psychology class for my major and its developmental so we talk about minors and it triggers me so much but what else can i do? i just sit here uncomfortable and anxious

I keep worrying that maybe I was never straight in the first place. Maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and I’m just scared of coming out and not being accepted!

This might sound weird, but how does one know that they aren’t gay or attracted to the same sex? It’s just weird to me that I actually have to think through it this way and check things off. Can one wake up one day and be attracted to the same sex? I don’t even know how to brainstorm this.

Hi guys. I’ve been struggling a lot with mental compulsions and rationalizing. Part of my treatment is eating animal products since I believe I’m immoral otherwise, but the only way I’ve brought myself to do this is through a mental compulsion about my reproductive health. I’ve been losing my hair and suffering with acne for a year now (randomly started at age 20) which I attributed to about 10 different illnesses I convinced doctors to test me for before my OCD decided I’m just infertile. So now I use the animal products to reassure myself that I’m protecting my fertility and that overcoming my ED will stop my hair from falling out. I have to tell myself this otherwise I can’t bring myself to eat the food. Perhaps my most harmful compulsion is having unprotected sex with my boyfriend to see if I can get pregnant. Even though I don’t want to be pregnant, i know it’s a way of checking on my fertility. Worse yet, if I get pregnant, I’ll either tell myself I’m evil for thinking about an abortion or get one and believe this ushers in a new punishment for myself which is infertility for life. On the other hand, if I carry the baby to term, I’m convinced the meds I’m on will harm the baby (hence another reason to stop my meds, which I’ve only taken consistently for a week max). I’m too ashamed to even tell my therapist.

I’m tired of my “HOCD”. I don’t even know if it’s OCD. I’ve never thought I was gay before in my life and now it’s convinced me that deep down I want to be with a man. I can barely talk to my girlfriend without having intrusive thoughts. I can’t even tell an intrusive thought from a feee flowing thought anymore. I try to make myself think about women and it keeps happening. Even when I look forward to something in the future I’ll get a thought “but you’re gay”. I’m tired. I’ve talked to some of my friends and family and it’s a weird issue. No one else is going through this that I know of. If all I think about all day is being gay then I must be gay. Even if I find reassurance it’s not enough I don’t even accept it. Maybe this all happened for a reason. I’m never going to wake up and these thoughts won’t be there. I don’t even care anymore, I’ll just be alone or be gay.

Guys please I need your advise if ERP works to help in beating OCD. Because I've heard that if you will not repeat your rituals you will win. I want to share you with you the worst thing in my life. I am currently addicted of watching porn and masturbation so I am trying to beat it however already for years I had a horrible rituals to finish masturbating with good thoughts means without obsessions about dying, died people, that I wll get a cancer and so on. And while I am having orgasm I am always struggling with that thoughts and if even a small thought or a picture in my head will be bad like picture I will die or picture from horror firm or anything else I need to repeat masturbation even if I don't want to do it. Sometimes I am so stressed because it gives me so big anxiety if I will not masturbate again something bad will happen and so often I can just stay in bed for 10 hours and masturbate for 10-15 times to finish with good thoughts so everything will be ok. I am so tired of that I lost my good mood and don't remember when I had a good one I can't beat masturbation addiction because of that ritual to masturbate again and don't have a few seconds bad thoughts while orgasm. Or sometimes don't have a God picture in your head because it is a big sin to have a picture of God while masturbating. But I don't want to think about it but again and again at the end of masturbation If I had these thoughts my mind or OCD says you're terrible person so immediately masturbate with good thoughts to avoid and troubles. And it is horrible to masturbate 15 times a day and spend more than 10 hours forcing you to do it because of OCD. Guys if someone knows what it is that why do I need to do this ritual and how to deal with that. I would be very happy if someone can help me or know how to help myself. I WILL VERY APPRECIATE Guys because my life is horrible because of that (((((((...

Hocd is constantly saying to me that I'm just in denial. Like it's trying to force me to be something I don't want to, it keeps telling me that I should just give in, and that terrifies me. It tells me that I'm actually unconsciously homophobic (I never was), and that's why I resist it so much. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so sad and hopeless. Hocd is crushing all my dreams and expectations for the future.

It’s so difficult to try and just be normal around others. I have Primarily Obsessional OCD and it mainly revolves around relationships (I’m single so in this case mainly my friends), as well as health, both physical and mental, and meta-obsessions that involve obsessing about obsessing or just ruminating about my OCD in general. I have Graves Disease and OCD, both of which I would consider “invisible illnesses” in that looking from the outside in 90% of people wouldn’t be able to tell I have these apart from a goiter in my neck that most wouldn’t really notice and me being skinny and borderline underweight for my age. When I’m with others, I always feel so stuck in my head, like I’m observing the interactions around me rather than participating. When I meet someone new, I’ll constantly be thinking of how I’m going to tell them about my health and how they will react, and I usually won’t even mentioning it because it’s completely irrelevant to the situation. Or maybe I’m with a close friend or group of friends, and I’ll spend the entire time analyzing or ruminating about every little thing that happens. My close friend sat next to someone else and not me? They must not like me anymore. All my friends are laughing and having fun while I’m silently sitting there? I’m DEFINITELY not feeling alone because I’M not interacting with THEM, but THEY must not like doing things with me because they just don’t like me. My friends actually try and interact with me? Oh no I’m sorry I’m busy being flooded with thoughts so I’ll just continue on ruminating, half present and unable to actually enjoy the company that I long for when I’m alone with my thoughts. I’m in therapy and we’re working on ruminating less and other things but it’s so hard when every interaction with others has the potential to trigger me, and when I’m alone I’m constantly ruminating as well. I never see anyone talk about ROCD in a context outside of being in a relationship, but it’s been making it so hard to build relationships with others and so easy to ruin them. I’m even terrified that I will never be able to get in a relationship because my anxiety will get the better of me and I won’t be able to do the things I want like what happened in my first relationship back in school (as society has made that the mans job in most relationships). I feel so isolated and alone at times, and even if there’s others I can reach out to and talk to, nobody ever understands. Even if they do, they can only hear about it so much before they start getting tired of me venting and obsessing. I just wish it could stop and I could meet someone who I am able to connect with, and NOT start obsessing over them 24/7 to the point I make them uncomfortable by talking too much and oversharing, or conversely by isolating myself. Sorry this was so long, it’s been rough lately and my exams are starting to come up this week and it’s been so hard to study when I just can’t focus on the things I want to focus on, or be motivated enough to not just sit here ruminating. I just needed to vent. If anyone else is going through something similar, you have all of my unending support and I hope things get better for you, just as they hopefully will start to get better for me. I invite you to share your experiences as it may help someone scrolling by who feels alone, like nobody else has these thoughts, as nobody really talks about this form of ROCD (as in outside of serious relationships) on these forums.

Okkk! So basically, part of me has accepted that I might be bi, and I’m ok with that because it’s not the worse thing ever. A few of my friends are bi, and being bi ultimately means I can love a wider range of people, which is great. So I don’t mind if I am. However I really really don’t wanna be a lesbian, and today I’ve had thoughts about being one. I’ve suddenly loss all attraction to guys which sucks. I feel like this is HOCD, but how do I know for sure if I don’t mind being bi?

Masturbation is so annoying when you have intrusive thoughts

Ah... I need to explode a little today here... I don't understand why I see myself as a nb person now. Seriously hocd, can you please let me feel myself one day? Im losing the way I see reality... is like I'm trying to confirm myself that genres doesn't exist anymore. And, what is worst, mostly with the way I see boys. I don't want to believe my "lesbian thoughts" that much that I protect myself erasing my identity and the others around me. With hocd I always can remember what I really like at the end(sometimes), but with this... Is like I don't know if I am a girl anymore? Or who I am? Everything is doubts. Are the others even what they say they are? Should I start using pronouns even if I just don't feel comfortable with anything? There is not anymore a yes or a no, just an empty space that is called me and is so crazy. Nothing seems real. Nothing has sense. Why now? Why this? Is so stupid and even much more stupid that I worry about it. That Im starting to believe it. Seriously I just want some peace of mind and stop crying for a single night for every identity crisis that I don't need in my life. I have to wait until I see my therapist for 4 more days... but is not enough and this is so long... Im not that scared anymore. Now Im just sad, like when you don't have a purpose. Im living like a fucking robot without a gps who can think, dream or create anything. I would like to talk to someone nb, I want to believe feeling like that is different and beautiful and unique, because this is just a torture (or not, I dont know anymore) where I just cant stop thinking about it without knowing what to do. It would be more reassurance so... great. I wish you're feeling better than me. And don't go googling shit, that only makes it worse. It only makes you suggest yourself and that's a losing battle.

Tw: HOCD (sorta) I'm watching The Miseducation of Cameron Post (a film about gay conversion therapy) and it's reminding me of a lot of struggles I had with my sexuality growing up. I have only dated women but I would worry I was actually straight deep down. I see a lot of people here HOCD so it's interesting to think about the reverse to some degree! Wish I'd known about OCD back then.

I have a fear of herpes its basically either scared of getting it or scared that i maybe already got it from someone so i get scared to even go outside in the sun because im scared to have the virus in me and getting a cold sore from being outside i hate this because this fear came out of nowhere like 4 years ago and since then im scared to share a drink im scare of eating in certain places because of the utensils im scared to go to the dentist

There are times where my ocd just stops acting up, but then I remember like you are such a horrible person for having those thoughts and the cycle begins again, I start crying and sweating and over all just having an anxiety attack...I hate this

Can OCD make you go crazy or can it just mock symptoms of losing your mind? Weird question I know. I have just been struggling really bad lately and wondering if it’s something more then OCD.

Hocd is pure hell. Everytime I try to “accept” my thoughts it feels like I’m truly gay. I’m not homophobic at all but being gay just doesn’t feel right to me. But my mind is saying that being gay is truly what I want. This is torture.

A few weeks ago I wasn’t having these thoughts but now I can’t stop thinking of my wife with other men and it’s gotten me to start thinking she’s cheating on me or talking to someone else. I’ve started snooping to see if I could find anything and comparing details of our relationship now to inconsistencies a long time ago. Our sex life has diminished and she says it’s her because theres some medical issues we both have. But I have a fear that I’m gonna leave because of the lack of affection and intimacy but can’t because I love her and I imagine that some other guy would bring the freak back out in her that I miss and that I need to fix it somehow but can’t or never will. I keep playing mental movies of her with exes having wild sex and her just with other men in general or her cheating on me. I dunno if it’s rocd but I’m pretty sure it is because I just now realized after she told me I think you have ocd. I pace I obsess about purchases certain drs. Light bulbs keep going off in my head like oh I guess I really do have it. even in past relationships I would always feel a need to know as much about my partners past. Any help is needed I can’t find a therapist right now. Been trying. I don’t know how to apply erp to this. How do I expose my self to it. Thanks in advance. I look forward to this app.

POCD TW: HELP Haven’t been on this app in a bit because I’ve been doing pretty well! But I had a pretty bad day. I work with children. And my ocd has been targeting one child mostly. (I hope it’s ocd) Today, while hanging out with her she was joking around with me and she was trying to steal a baseball bat out of my hand. She put it between her legs. I started to lose grip of it, so I switched my hand to get a better grip and I pulled it and took it from her, and it moved upward and she instantly said “ouch that hurt” and I think I accidentally hit her in an in appropriate area. I feel really bad. And I’m afraid that she’ll tell her parents I did it or something. My OCD is telling me I did it on purpose but I know I didn’t. Ugh. I was doing SO well before this. But it feels like I’ve moved 10 steps back.

I can’t deal with my groinal responses... they feel to real. I got a semi, maybe even full erection to same sex pornography. It must mean something I’m very depressed

Anything triggers my hocd. It’s unreal.