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Any tips to help with intrusive thoughts like “what if I’m better without my bf because these thoughts will do away “ “what if it’s not a right relationship “ But deep in my heart I cannot let him go I care and love him sm when I break down and have these spirals I’m able to know so fast this is what I want but when it’s a regular day I wake up and it’s starts all over he said “baby don’t put time into these thoughts “ but how am I supposed to not put time into them when they are circling my head then I had a stupid dream about an ex and I know u can’t control dreams so the dream doesn’t mean anything but it hurts and I feel so guilty and it makes me think does it mean I don’t love him or shouldn’t be with him . Just need tips to help me through this .

Can OCD manifest in physical sensations around the body? it’s making me feel bothered this morning , it’s like my stomach is burning but I don’t know if it’s something OCD is producing or some other stuff like diarrhea

Hi I’m curious if this happens to anyone. I’d wake up early like 4 am and try to go back to sleep but random thoughts come to my mind - sometimes I remember sometimes I don’t. I can hear myself think sometimes and then I just couldn’t go back to sleep anymore. Before having depression and anxiety, I never noticed this but now I do.

Hi, is journaling good for OCD? I would love to journal but obviously don’t want to feed into my rumination. Any tips would be helpful, thanks.

im never gonna be me again.

So I’ve been dealing with something for the past 3 weeks and it’s seriously distressing. I believe it’s the so-ocd. So I work in an office with a gay man, who I do consider a friend now. We’ve worked together for about a year. So he’s pretty open about being gay which never bothered me. Then all of a sudden I would be sitting at home and he will pop into my head. And not like anything sexual at all, just like “hey what’s up man?” So after a while of us working together he started dressing in like white pants and ladies shoes and to be honest, I started to feel uncomfortable but I didn’t want to offend him so I didn’t say anything. And then in 4 weeks ago, it started to happen more often. So I was like, hmmm, why is a gay guy in my head. Does that make me gay? Then 3 weeks ago my Wife and I were getting down to business and I think I said something to stupid during, and after we were done, she asks “ are you gay?” with a straight face. And I was like “ahhhhh, no!” Then she starts laughing and says just kidding, and I’m like frozen. So after that happened my mind has been obsessed with that question. So now I’m questioning my whole existence of who I am. The thing is I’m not thinking about anything sexual with men, yet I keep asking myself “am I gay”. And it the question keeps playing over in my head torturing me. And now I’m afraid to even look a man in the eyes, watch certain movies, hang out with my bro’s for fear that I will turn gay. So I’ve been to my psychiatrist, and she said that it’s perfectly normal, I don’t have anything to worry about(being gay), and she put me on antidepressants. Well I’m still freaking out so here’s my story. Whew feels good to get that off my chest.

i’m very scared because what if I don’t care or love my boyfriend as much as he loves me? I’m just having a really hard week so can someone please respond

At what age your ocd started? Mine in puberty

Is my boyfriend the trigger to my rocd.. soemtimes I overthink more when he’s around but Sometimes I have spirals alone and over analyze alone . It hurts my entire souls and heart to think he’s the trigger because I don’t wanna have to break up with him to get better . I don’t wanna leave him I love him so much it makes my chest so heavy to think it’s him who triggers these intrusive thoughts . My mom and therapist said it could be myself my own head . I don’t wanna leave him. My therapist also said if I I realize it’s him maybe it’s best to leave but I cannot leave him . I cannot leave him I love and care and it’s been a year of my life why throw it away . Can’t I work through this cant I get better . There’s no way it’s because of him now I’m just having such anxiety and overthinking thoughts about do I need to leave him do I have to leave him . Is it him .

please help every time i get the groinal response i go back to whatever i was looking at, at look at it again then look away. i repeat this over and over until i can successfully do this without getting the groinal response. i’ve also noticed when i get the groinal response i experience a shortness of breath. it makes me feel like i enjoy when i really hate it. i just want to make this go away but i have no idea how to do that. i also procrastinate and can’t do what i want to do until the compulsion i mentioned above is just right.

I’m so afraid to lose him over this I’m so afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true I’m starting to think do I need this relationship do we bring out the worst in each other I just want to be better for the both of us . So bad . I wanna get over this . I keep crying and crying overthinking in this loop . thinking what if this what if that what of all of this is true that we bring out the worst in each other that we won’t be better that we can’t work on this . I’m so draining and I’m an overload but he said don’t feels sorry he knows my thoughts aren’t true and he said we will be okay and work on things and get better he said it’s apart of a relationship. But all my brain can think is negative shit and I’m tired of it . I’m so scared to lose him over this . I’m losing myself .

I wanted to share something that’s been helping me with my SOOCD ruminations, but it may not be helpful for everyone. ~ this might be triggering so read on at your own risk ~ What if you didn’t use a label for your sexuality? Imagine just letting yourself love your current partner (or whatever partner you want) for who they are and not putting soooooo much weight on attraction. A feeling. One that ebbs and flows. I’m reminding myself that I get to choose to love my fiancé. That I know he’s an amazing human and a great partner. I know he’s the one I want to be with. When I remove the labels, it allows me to just be people with him. This has made it easier for me to not linger on what I am or am not. Labels were hurting me, but love wins.

PLEASE HELP ME Man I was so close! I’m trying to get my post count down to zero basically. And I am at six posts in 24 hours and it has gone down from double digits. But I had a scary experience in my head. I mean anyway sorry I don’t know what I was gonna say there. But someone was asking how to get their guy to look at them. Ice actually saw this on Facebook it’s a common enough subject so it pops up anywhere. I’m scared boobs are I don’t want big boob women to be sexy I was remembering the trend of I’m scared I must be I don’t wanna be bisexual! And I’m scared of what’s in my heart because of this I’m scared I do but I’ve seen all nice I said nice I don’t want women to be nice looking I’ve seen all kinds of women in shape and out of shape naked and it doesn’t do it for me. And any anyway I’m just scared I’m lying and I don’t wanna be lying to myself but I don’t want that life I don’t want that to be sexy to me! But I remember the trend where you drop a towel in front of your boyfriend naked and they stop playing their video games and go after you and I’m scared all of them but none of them are better than my guy but I’m front of I thought it was certain kind of woman who is really tall curvy and I’m scared I do I don’t like it I don’t want long legs I don’t want dig perky boobs natural or otherwise. And I’m scared of had a feeling in my brain and somewhere else I want I’m hoping it’s not my heart but I’m scared I had a feeling like that is and I don’t want it to be sexy. And then I’m scared I am and I said nothing and I almost smile about it but I don’t wanna be bisexual! I don’t want to I don’t want boobs to sexy and I want I can a muscular is are but at them and to be to my guy but they’re not sexy and they just bigger and more muscular and tanner but that doesn’t equate to sexier to me but I don’t wanna think those kind I don’t wanna have a type of woman in my head that is I don’t want any kind of woman to be sexy in that capacity I’m frightened of the feelings I had like in my brain and I keep saying heart I don’t want this to migrate to my heart I want it to stay in my head! I mean I would rather it leave but I don’t want to go anywhere else I’m scared I’m smiling I said but I don’t like Albans I don’t like any kind and I keep imagining a woman with her hip out and she’s like holding the towel and she drops it in my I’m smiling in my brains acting like it is but it’s not sexy that weird feeling isn’t coming back but why did it pop up at all I’m scared I don’t imagine doing what guys and babies do and I even had my mouth open I don’t want boobs I don’t want any kind of boobs to be sex! I don’t want to be bisexual! I’m scared of the smiling in the feeling I felt I’m scared there is a certain but I’ve looked at all kinds of women naked whether they’re in shape or not all height or weights all ethnicities they’re not that kind of sexy and I’m frightened

WARNING So, I don't know if it is false memory or real event ocd, because my memory is really foggy. It's a kinda disgusting topic, but I'm at a really bad state, my stomach aches every day because of the thoughts. A few years ago, when I was 15-17, taboo or gross things interested me and found satisfying like pimple popping or pooping. Most of the time I was disgusted by the pooping topic, it was uncomfortable me to think about sexy guys or other people also poop, but I found interesting or funny, when animals did it. And there is two memory: 1. I was watching the dog pooping, and somehow found satisfying. 2. I saw a youtube video about a poor lizard, who couldn't poop, and I really wanted to see it poop. Here comes the intrusive thoughts: what if I found these things sexually arousing, just I don’t remember, because I didn't realize it, or I thought it natural? I'm sooo sick and ashamed and I know I never get certainty about this topic, but what if it really aroused me? I don't feel anything now if I see a dog pooping, just awkwardness (and anxiety if my ocd pops up), but nonetheless I feel I'm a disgusting person, and I feel if these 2 memories really happened the way I fear, I don't deserve my parents, my siblings, my friends and I don't deserve a normal romantic partner. I told this to my best friend and she said that dispite the curiousity, it seems to her that's false memory ocd, but She said that if it really happened, it's in the past and I'm not a disgusting person, just teenage hormones fucked up my mind and made wrong associations. I don't believe her, and still feel like a disgusting weird pervert. I don't know how can I overcome this, I'm literally physically sick of these thoughts...

PLEASE HELP ME I was looking on Poshmark. And I saw some dress that looked up at the boobs were hanging out a little bit but thank God they were basically covered and I don’t like it but then I’m scared I started to blush and I’m frighten because I don’t want to feel better saying nothing but when I don’t like boobs let alone nothing but. And then I continue to look at the several pictures the seller put and they all had bigger boobs and I’m frightened that I thought always when I’ve never like boobs and I’m frightened that I’m starting to change and I don’t want my opinion or lack of feeling I should say about boobs to change I don’t like boobs why did I blush?! And I’m scared I felt like I was but I was never lying about my lack of attraction or interest-door like you know my lack of liking boobs like and now I’m scared there was always a lack and now I’m scared I do but I don’t like boobs and I don’t want that to change I didn’t like when I first looked at it but now I keep thinking oh feel like I am when I’m not lying. I don’t wanna start liking boobs I don’t want anything less! I’m scared I keep nodding like I do I don’t like big round boobs I don’t like the sides and now after seeing that I act like but I don’t like the way they I miss them and yet making this weird face like something bad I better like patrols and boys and I kept saying in my head pectorals in but I don’t want to be bisexual I don’t like pectorals and boobs I just like pectorals and said I just now so can’t help it like I don’t like boobs that’s the whole point ! I don’t like patrols boobs I just like boys I don’t like boobs I just like pectorals I don’t fucking like boobs and now I’m acting like I keep nodding up and down if I’m straight why would I not up and down I don’t miss boobs hanging! I don’t like them I don’t miss them and now I make faces as though I don’t when I’ve always like pectorals I don’t like boobs! Why is this happening!? I keep saying feel so natural but it doesn’t feel right so I guess it’s not really natural I don’t like boobs I am scared I keep thinking of them now and thinking of pectorals like I keep nodding up and down like but I don’t miss boobs hanging and I act like but I don’t miss the hanging nature I don’t like a structure and I almost called it but it’s not delicious I don’t want boobs I don’t want boys to hang in that capacity I don’t want boobs and now I’m acting like mail body parts are when they’re not nasty they’re better than what they go into I don’t I’m scared I keep I’m scared I I like it I’m scared I can help I I’m I’m not fascinated this feel good I don’t want to suddenly change I see what like all of a sudden like a voice I keep saying that like it’s positive and I can’t stop imagining hanging boobs and I’m scared I actually keep like putting my hand out like almost as a gesture of emphasis and then I keep doing a cupping gesture like I do but I don’t miss hanging boobs I’m scared to do it like this it’s not proof I’m scared I can help I’m scared I’m thinking of the celebrity I looked at yesterday she was basically wearing a naked dress and I didn’t like her boobs I don’t like the shape or structure but I’m scared that I am start I don’t miss boobs I don’t want them I don’t want boys to hang like that I don’t want boobs I don’t want boys to have them and I said boobs are so much more they’re not better they’re disgusting they’re not better I don’t miss the way they hang I know I don’t like boobs but part of my brain is kind of like almost frozen like I can’t except like I can’t get around like like I don’t like hanging boobs though I keep saying like I do I don’t like hanging boobs I don’t miss them and I can’t stop making a face like I don’t but I like I don’t like hanging boobs I like pectoral I don’t wanna understand where heterosexual guys are coming from I’m scared I can’t stop thinking because they were all big and round I’m fine I don’t want to be in the middle I don’t want to start changing I don’t like the roundness but of boobs I don’t want the way they hang I don’t want I want my head or sexuality one boys and want to to we and like myself and I act like I’m scared I don’t like I’m scared I’m looking at them differently but not really feeling different just stressed and it’s not like I care about judgment or society I just I said like and I keep thinking of the redness of boobs but I like boys I just like I’m scared I am after all the time I thought about it like I was conditioning but I don’t wanna start liking boobs I just like boys I don’t like boobs

I am 19 years old have been with my boyfriend for 1 year I love him deep in my heart but I have so many obsessed thoughts about do I love him , is he the one for me , do I really love him it’s drowning me I can’t go on like this . I don’t want to break up with him I get into these episodes where I get so far in my head . I don’t wanna give up on me and him because I know he makes me happy and just I hate these doubts I obsessed over them . and it kills me and worries me if these thoughts are true why would I still be with him . Please help me through this and better cope . And it hurts so much to think I don’t love him I break down and cry and cry about it I just want to feel the happiness I know is there with my partner . It started out of no where and I don’t understand why . The more I read about relationship ocd the more I think I have it . Then I get intrusive thoughts do I really love him for the rights reason am I just using him for my happiness do I really need this I’m so scared and I cry and cry and cry because it just can’t be true

I am getting so depressed with this now. I didnt do the erp over xmas as felt better but now it has come back. I don't know if this erp is working although saying that I have worked through some tough ones and they no longer bother me. This is the longest I have ever had OCD for and stuck on one thought. I feel such a fool because I KNOW it is all made up in my head but I just believe it. I had 2 people I confided my intrusive thoughts in about their grandaughter.......I am stuck on what I said to them...."what if, when I was asleep my leg touched her leg and then because I thought I dont wear underwear in bed, what if my front bit touched her leg?' This to me is the absolute worse thing I could ever have said and it has not left me since they fell out with me over Covid 4 months ago.... It has gone round and round and round in my head. The thing is their response wasn't one of shock or anything but they said they worried like that when looking after a friends little girl. They helped me out so much with that spike and took me to yoga and the lady came to a mental health walk with me although no one turned up. She called me all the time and even read up about OCD not realising how much I suffered until she read about it. Why, then, is my mind making me think that now, after them falling out with me over covid do I think like this and think they think the thoughts i told them were real? I have imagined they have told my friend (the dad) about my thoughts even though i asked them once what would he think and they said he would laugh. I just cant seem to get this conversation 'what if my front bit touched her leg' out of my head and think I am such an awful awful person. I hate the fact they have fallen out with me as I have known them for years. Their son doesnt bother with me as he has a new wife who is a nurse but then I start thinking all sorts. He has always been a selfish person and not bothered with me since he met her but my mind is all over the place thinking they are all talking about me and this one sentence I said years ago. Before they fell out with me our relationship was great and went out all the time. I hate OCD.

Anyone else's OCD not able to handle bisexuality? Like its got to be one or the other, despite the fact I've had crushes on males and females at various points of my life?

I have some real events I can’t let go of… and I just can’t move on from them. (Sex related OCD) The first time I drank, I tried to kiss my best friend at the time. I was touchy, and I was feely. In ways I shouldn’t have been. I think at the time I believed she was reciprocating, that or I hoped she was. She told me to stop and I jumped up and stopped right away. Sobered me up real fast. We stopped talking for a year and reconnected again this year, and are now friends again. She forgave me told me it was all in the past and we’ve been good. But I still feel horrible about it, I feel I SA-d her and I deserve to die for it. Something simillar happened recently, with one of my friends who I can’t figure out if I like or not. I told her “I loved her a lot” a few months ago under the same conditions. She said it was overwhelming and everything. We don’t talk about it and are still best friends. She makes jokes sometimes “that I love her a little too much” which make me feel horrible, because I feel so sick about what happened. I feel I repeated history and I definitely need to die for this.

Hi friends! I have never posted before, and I am so sorry in advance for the longer post, but in the spirit of seeking recovery, I figured it would be good to get this out instead of internalizing everything like I usually do. My family and I are currently on a road trip, which means I’ve been spending long periods of time stationary with looots of time to think. Needless to say, I’ve had several mini episodes over the duration of this trip that have been pretty bad. Earlier tonight I was having an intrusive thought episode that felt so real and all consuming, and I have gotten to a point where I am just so tired of trying to resist and of fighting and of rumination, that I just had this moment of almost acceptance? I just thought, “you know what, this thought is true, this is who I am as a person, and I just have to accept it.” I don’t know what I was expecting or exactly what I wanted to happen after that, but I guess a part of me was hoping that if I just did that, then those thoughts and terrible moment would pass? But then of course, that was followed with the thought that by “accepting” it, I must not be bothered by the thoughts or never thought the nature of the thought is bad or wrong, which thereby only further proves that I truly am an evil and disturbed person, and that I now am just acknowledging the truth and embracing it. Has anyone ever experienced this or something similar? I would appreciate hearing however much anyone is willing and comfortable with sharing. It’s just an endless cycle where there is no winning. In my heart I know who I am and what I believe and the the things that are important to me, but that feels so far away and muddled now. I have been trying to carry on and not let OCD change the fabric of who I am (which I know ultimately it doesn’t, or shouldn’t), but I feel like I’m living a lie? It’s like I have a facade and am constantly trying to convince the people around me that I am a decent person to make up for/hide the fact that deep down I am a sinister person. I feel like even being myself, doesn’t truly feel like myself anymore? I don’t know. I know that recovery and healing is possible, but I’m just so scared that this is what the rest of my life will be like. Whew, I’m sorry again to dump all of this, but if you are still reading, thank you. On a side and more positive note, I am so grateful for this platform and so inspired by the bravery and resilience of all of you. 💛