Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I want to apologize for my last post I honestly didn’t know and I feel horrible. I really meant no harm I promise. I have been told to say that over calling someone the other. I apologize

Can anyone with a vagina help? It's my birthday. I went to go to the toilet and my underwar was wet. It soaked through to both sides. And it was the whole area of the underwear. I feel I would have felt if I peed myself..I did need the toilet but I held it in talking to a friend. I just changed my underwear and trousers and got into bed. But I feel so gross. Its my 20th...i wanted to start this decade off right but I just want to cry and have a shower and wash everything. Could it just be discharge? I've googled it and I've seen nothing on discharge like that. I feel so gross. Do I need to wash everything tomorrow morning? I'm having friends over. I don't know what to do... this is only my luck. I wanted to start this birthday off well. But I did compulsions smelling the underwear and feeling my old pajama trousers to see if they got wet.. Why am I so gross ... :(

Any thoughts/experiences on Zoloft currently on 50mg and have seen great reduction in symptoms but having a flare up and still have more anxiety then would like has anyone found improvement moving to 75 or 100mg? I suffer mainly from ROCD, real event OCD and Pure O

Hi, so I'm struggling at the moment with existenal ocd... where i keep thinking how do I now anything or anyone is real... to the point even typing this I think how do I know this group and the people in it are real etc, also things like how do I even know my thoughts are real, what are thoughts etc etc... is this normal with existenal ocd? Also then with harm ocd it doet of mixes into it.. like.. what it none of this is real then what difference does it make if I were to harm someone.. then I panic and think how do I know I'm not gna going to or even start believing everything might not be real and go crazy etc? All sounds abit nuts I know but its the only way I can explain it... is this sort of thing normal with Existenal ocd? I'm trying my hardest not to gel with the thoughts as best I can etc.. and I'm not looking for reassurance... but will this ever go away?

Two days ago we were on our way to a museum walking on a stairway when I saw a girl wearing leggings walking in front of me, and idk why but | involuntarily (I hope it was) glanced at her butt. I initially thought she was a girl about my age or older but it turned out to be much younger. I found myself looking at her a few times hoping that she wasn't a c**** and that I just had mistaken her, but I ultimately realised that she was a c**** and that I had looked at a c**** b*tt. What if this is a proof that I'm a p***? If this was OCD I'd have just ignored it after the first time I realised that she was a c****, but no, I glanced at her repeatedly.

Today i broke up with my boyfriend because my ocd got so bad asking myself if i actually loved him. i feel so upset as i still what to be with him but feel i can't if i'm not sure how i feel. even though we've broken up i still don't know how i feel and hope i that we can get back together if i figure out i do love him. however i may never know how i feel, am i just giving myself false hope? is breaking up with him itself a compulsion? it all is so painful i still care about him a lot

Any tips to help with intrusive thoughts like “what if I’m better without my bf because these thoughts will do away “ “what if it’s not a right relationship “ But deep in my heart I cannot let him go I care and love him sm when I break down and have these spirals I’m able to know so fast this is what I want but when it’s a regular day I wake up and it’s starts all over he said “baby don’t put time into these thoughts “ but how am I supposed to not put time into them when they are circling my head then I had a stupid dream about an ex and I know u can’t control dreams so the dream doesn’t mean anything but it hurts and I feel so guilty and it makes me think does it mean I don’t love him or shouldn’t be with him . Just need tips to help me through this .

Can OCD manifest in physical sensations around the body? it’s making me feel bothered this morning , it’s like my stomach is burning but I don’t know if it’s something OCD is producing or some other stuff like diarrhea

Hi I’m curious if this happens to anyone. I’d wake up early like 4 am and try to go back to sleep but random thoughts come to my mind - sometimes I remember sometimes I don’t. I can hear myself think sometimes and then I just couldn’t go back to sleep anymore. Before having depression and anxiety, I never noticed this but now I do.

Hi, is journaling good for OCD? I would love to journal but obviously don’t want to feed into my rumination. Any tips would be helpful, thanks.

im never gonna be me again.

So I’ve been dealing with something for the past 3 weeks and it’s seriously distressing. I believe it’s the so-ocd. So I work in an office with a gay man, who I do consider a friend now. We’ve worked together for about a year. So he’s pretty open about being gay which never bothered me. Then all of a sudden I would be sitting at home and he will pop into my head. And not like anything sexual at all, just like “hey what’s up man?” So after a while of us working together he started dressing in like white pants and ladies shoes and to be honest, I started to feel uncomfortable but I didn’t want to offend him so I didn’t say anything. And then in 4 weeks ago, it started to happen more often. So I was like, hmmm, why is a gay guy in my head. Does that make me gay? Then 3 weeks ago my Wife and I were getting down to business and I think I said something to stupid during, and after we were done, she asks “ are you gay?” with a straight face. And I was like “ahhhhh, no!” Then she starts laughing and says just kidding, and I’m like frozen. So after that happened my mind has been obsessed with that question. So now I’m questioning my whole existence of who I am. The thing is I’m not thinking about anything sexual with men, yet I keep asking myself “am I gay”. And it the question keeps playing over in my head torturing me. And now I’m afraid to even look a man in the eyes, watch certain movies, hang out with my bro’s for fear that I will turn gay. So I’ve been to my psychiatrist, and she said that it’s perfectly normal, I don’t have anything to worry about(being gay), and she put me on antidepressants. Well I’m still freaking out so here’s my story. Whew feels good to get that off my chest.

i’m very scared because what if I don’t care or love my boyfriend as much as he loves me? I’m just having a really hard week so can someone please respond

At what age your ocd started? Mine in puberty

Is my boyfriend the trigger to my rocd.. soemtimes I overthink more when he’s around but Sometimes I have spirals alone and over analyze alone . It hurts my entire souls and heart to think he’s the trigger because I don’t wanna have to break up with him to get better . I don’t wanna leave him I love him so much it makes my chest so heavy to think it’s him who triggers these intrusive thoughts . My mom and therapist said it could be myself my own head . I don’t wanna leave him. My therapist also said if I I realize it’s him maybe it’s best to leave but I cannot leave him . I cannot leave him I love and care and it’s been a year of my life why throw it away . Can’t I work through this cant I get better . There’s no way it’s because of him now I’m just having such anxiety and overthinking thoughts about do I need to leave him do I have to leave him . Is it him .

please help every time i get the groinal response i go back to whatever i was looking at, at look at it again then look away. i repeat this over and over until i can successfully do this without getting the groinal response. i’ve also noticed when i get the groinal response i experience a shortness of breath. it makes me feel like i enjoy when i really hate it. i just want to make this go away but i have no idea how to do that. i also procrastinate and can’t do what i want to do until the compulsion i mentioned above is just right.

I’m so afraid to lose him over this I’m so afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true I’m starting to think do I need this relationship do we bring out the worst in each other I just want to be better for the both of us . So bad . I wanna get over this . I keep crying and crying overthinking in this loop . thinking what if this what if that what of all of this is true that we bring out the worst in each other that we won’t be better that we can’t work on this . I’m so draining and I’m an overload but he said don’t feels sorry he knows my thoughts aren’t true and he said we will be okay and work on things and get better he said it’s apart of a relationship. But all my brain can think is negative shit and I’m tired of it . I’m so scared to lose him over this . I’m losing myself .

I wanted to share something that’s been helping me with my SOOCD ruminations, but it may not be helpful for everyone. ~ this might be triggering so read on at your own risk ~ What if you didn’t use a label for your sexuality? Imagine just letting yourself love your current partner (or whatever partner you want) for who they are and not putting soooooo much weight on attraction. A feeling. One that ebbs and flows. I’m reminding myself that I get to choose to love my fiancé. That I know he’s an amazing human and a great partner. I know he’s the one I want to be with. When I remove the labels, it allows me to just be people with him. This has made it easier for me to not linger on what I am or am not. Labels were hurting me, but love wins.

PLEASE HELP ME Man I was so close! I’m trying to get my post count down to zero basically. And I am at six posts in 24 hours and it has gone down from double digits. But I had a scary experience in my head. I mean anyway sorry I don’t know what I was gonna say there. But someone was asking how to get their guy to look at them. Ice actually saw this on Facebook it’s a common enough subject so it pops up anywhere. I’m scared boobs are I don’t want big boob women to be sexy I was remembering the trend of I’m scared I must be I don’t wanna be bisexual! And I’m scared of what’s in my heart because of this I’m scared I do but I’ve seen all nice I said nice I don’t want women to be nice looking I’ve seen all kinds of women in shape and out of shape naked and it doesn’t do it for me. And any anyway I’m just scared I’m lying and I don’t wanna be lying to myself but I don’t want that life I don’t want that to be sexy to me! But I remember the trend where you drop a towel in front of your boyfriend naked and they stop playing their video games and go after you and I’m scared all of them but none of them are better than my guy but I’m front of I thought it was certain kind of woman who is really tall curvy and I’m scared I do I don’t like it I don’t want long legs I don’t want dig perky boobs natural or otherwise. And I’m scared of had a feeling in my brain and somewhere else I want I’m hoping it’s not my heart but I’m scared I had a feeling like that is and I don’t want it to be sexy. And then I’m scared I am and I said nothing and I almost smile about it but I don’t wanna be bisexual! I don’t want to I don’t want boobs to sexy and I want I can a muscular is are but at them and to be to my guy but they’re not sexy and they just bigger and more muscular and tanner but that doesn’t equate to sexier to me but I don’t wanna think those kind I don’t wanna have a type of woman in my head that is I don’t want any kind of woman to be sexy in that capacity I’m frightened of the feelings I had like in my brain and I keep saying heart I don’t want this to migrate to my heart I want it to stay in my head! I mean I would rather it leave but I don’t want to go anywhere else I’m scared I’m smiling I said but I don’t like Albans I don’t like any kind and I keep imagining a woman with her hip out and she’s like holding the towel and she drops it in my I’m smiling in my brains acting like it is but it’s not sexy that weird feeling isn’t coming back but why did it pop up at all I’m scared I don’t imagine doing what guys and babies do and I even had my mouth open I don’t want boobs I don’t want any kind of boobs to be sex! I don’t want to be bisexual! I’m scared of the smiling in the feeling I felt I’m scared there is a certain but I’ve looked at all kinds of women naked whether they’re in shape or not all height or weights all ethnicities they’re not that kind of sexy and I’m frightened

WARNING So, I don't know if it is false memory or real event ocd, because my memory is really foggy. It's a kinda disgusting topic, but I'm at a really bad state, my stomach aches every day because of the thoughts. A few years ago, when I was 15-17, taboo or gross things interested me and found satisfying like pimple popping or pooping. Most of the time I was disgusted by the pooping topic, it was uncomfortable me to think about sexy guys or other people also poop, but I found interesting or funny, when animals did it. And there is two memory: 1. I was watching the dog pooping, and somehow found satisfying. 2. I saw a youtube video about a poor lizard, who couldn't poop, and I really wanted to see it poop. Here comes the intrusive thoughts: what if I found these things sexually arousing, just I don’t remember, because I didn't realize it, or I thought it natural? I'm sooo sick and ashamed and I know I never get certainty about this topic, but what if it really aroused me? I don't feel anything now if I see a dog pooping, just awkwardness (and anxiety if my ocd pops up), but nonetheless I feel I'm a disgusting person, and I feel if these 2 memories really happened the way I fear, I don't deserve my parents, my siblings, my friends and I don't deserve a normal romantic partner. I told this to my best friend and she said that dispite the curiousity, it seems to her that's false memory ocd, but She said that if it really happened, it's in the past and I'm not a disgusting person, just teenage hormones fucked up my mind and made wrong associations. I don't believe her, and still feel like a disgusting weird pervert. I don't know how can I overcome this, I'm literally physically sick of these thoughts...