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the NOCD Community

Anyone else that also has OCD exactly targeted at what you love the most? Like your innermost values, your favorite interests, the things you look forward to the most in life. Like I’ve pulled myself away from all the good in my life because that’s what the OCD latches onto. Like I used to love reading about psychology, now psychology is a freaking nightmare to my OCD, I used to be so happy, optimistic and cheerful and reflected a lot on all of life’s wonders but now I have intrusive suicidal thoughts and scary, existential/philosophical OCD making me avoid deep thoughts/subjects altogether. I used to be such a romantic and chased all the love expeiences I could have, now I push every damn guy away because my skin crawls at te thought of love and connections. I used to be very emotionally open and all, and now I scream at any feeling and try to suppress it. I used to be a social butterfly and now I can barely talk to people anymore. I used to be so excited to grow up to become a mom, a wife and work with people who need my help but now those are the most scary things I’ve ever heard of. I used to have such a strong self esteem and could be really cool and confident, and now I feel weak as hell and very insecure (and doubtful, duh, OCD) I used to pride myself in being a wonderful person with empathy and kindness, and now I always worry I’m a narcissist. I used to be very in tune with myself, knew myself very well and was always very grounded but now I’m depersonalized and whatever identity was there before certainly isn’t here right now. You feel me? And even more ironic is it that I’m beyond terrified of being depressed and committing suicide, but all in all having the joy quite literally stolen from your life is rather fucking draining and depressing.

I know OCD can be genetic. My grandmother has severe contamination OCD and I have pure O (as well as other ones that I have had in the past). But I’ve only read about how if you have family members in your immediate family with OCD, you have a higher chance of getting it. Is it possible that I have OCD from my grandma?

Has anyone ever felt the need to overshare/confess things to their partner that they didnt need to know?

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE I CANT IT ANYMORE THE GROINAL RESPONSES FEEL TOO REAL THEY FEEL JUST LIKE REAL AROUSAL. AN ALMOST FULL ERECTION. IM IN TEARS I HAVENT SLEPT FOR 24 HOURS MY LIFE IS RUINED PLEASE HELP ME IM FEELING VERY SAD

Anybody have nice recovery stories? Personally I don’t believe the whole “OCD is something you manage, not cure” thing as I think it’s just the medicinal companies looking to have you popping pills your entire life. Anyways, I KNOW that recovery is possible, and I know that it’s very inspiring and motivating to hear from people that has been in OCD hell that got out on the other side. So please, if you have any stories, share! I can give you a little story; my mom got herself some bad Harm OCD when she got her first child, my big sister, and intense amounts of anxiety from the OCD and agoraphobia too. In the last 20 years, she’s had two panic attacks. She’s over it! She’s out and about and haven’t known intrusive thoughts for ages

Hi I really need help. I really want to get better and want to work on recovery but I am too scared to look for a therapist. I had a very bad experience before, my family is not really supportive of the idea and I have very graphic sexual intrusive thoughts. I am convinced that it will be so embarrassing and humiliating to talk about this again. But I know that without proper guidance I am gonna have to deal with this forever.. has anybody advice?

OCD about driving. I am a 25 year old and am currently having really bad OCD about driving. I often fear that I am going to hit someone with my car or already have and did not realize it. Anything can set me off, such as a bump in the road that I did not explicitly see and point out, driving in an area with a lot of pedestrians, driving at night, driving in residential areas, or driving while a bit tired. This happens all of the time. I often check my rearview mirror for signs of an accident or reactions from drivers. I used to turn around and check a lot, but after reading various articles have stopped doing so and for the purposes or ERP. I have been doing my best with the ERP, but sometimes it is hard to resist the urge to go back and check, especially with those specific instances that I listed above. I just wanted to know if anyone else on here has this kind of OCD and how you deal with it/the best methods for continuing to work with it.

i have this girl ocd crush or i dont know how to call it. shes very pretty and all but i dont want to be together with a girl. my ocd makes me feel these weird anxiety butterflies

Anyone struggle with false memories? If so, how do you cope?

Antine with false memories ever get it that you are 95% sure said thought/memory didn't happen but your mind is still convincing you its real

I can’t stop checking. Someone help me break the cycle, what do I do?

Hi Guys. I’ve been prescribed 10 mg of Prozac to help managed my OCD. I’ve been particularly struggling the past 10 months more than what I used to be able to manage on my own. I’m aware of the side effects but I’m terrified since I have big deadlines in school and I also work long shifts at my job. If I get fatigue, dizziness, nausea etc. I’m worried that my performance at school and work just tanks. I don’t have the ability to take time off from school or work so it’s really scary. At the same time, I know it could also help me. I’m considering waiting 4-5 weeks for the busy period to end but there will always something new that can come up. For those who had a bad experience with Prozac what would you do? For those who had a great experience, please also share. Thanks.

If I’m up for 12 hours a day.... I’d say at least, around 9 of those hours are involving something with OCD.... my mind is exhausted....

i have to take this psychology class for my major and its developmental so we talk about minors and it triggers me so much but what else can i do? i just sit here uncomfortable and anxious

I keep worrying that maybe I was never straight in the first place. Maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and I’m just scared of coming out and not being accepted!

This might sound weird, but how does one know that they aren’t gay or attracted to the same sex? It’s just weird to me that I actually have to think through it this way and check things off. Can one wake up one day and be attracted to the same sex? I don’t even know how to brainstorm this.

Hi guys. I’ve been struggling a lot with mental compulsions and rationalizing. Part of my treatment is eating animal products since I believe I’m immoral otherwise, but the only way I’ve brought myself to do this is through a mental compulsion about my reproductive health. I’ve been losing my hair and suffering with acne for a year now (randomly started at age 20) which I attributed to about 10 different illnesses I convinced doctors to test me for before my OCD decided I’m just infertile. So now I use the animal products to reassure myself that I’m protecting my fertility and that overcoming my ED will stop my hair from falling out. I have to tell myself this otherwise I can’t bring myself to eat the food. Perhaps my most harmful compulsion is having unprotected sex with my boyfriend to see if I can get pregnant. Even though I don’t want to be pregnant, i know it’s a way of checking on my fertility. Worse yet, if I get pregnant, I’ll either tell myself I’m evil for thinking about an abortion or get one and believe this ushers in a new punishment for myself which is infertility for life. On the other hand, if I carry the baby to term, I’m convinced the meds I’m on will harm the baby (hence another reason to stop my meds, which I’ve only taken consistently for a week max). I’m too ashamed to even tell my therapist.

I’m tired of my “HOCD”. I don’t even know if it’s OCD. I’ve never thought I was gay before in my life and now it’s convinced me that deep down I want to be with a man. I can barely talk to my girlfriend without having intrusive thoughts. I can’t even tell an intrusive thought from a feee flowing thought anymore. I try to make myself think about women and it keeps happening. Even when I look forward to something in the future I’ll get a thought “but you’re gay”. I’m tired. I’ve talked to some of my friends and family and it’s a weird issue. No one else is going through this that I know of. If all I think about all day is being gay then I must be gay. Even if I find reassurance it’s not enough I don’t even accept it. Maybe this all happened for a reason. I’m never going to wake up and these thoughts won’t be there. I don’t even care anymore, I’ll just be alone or be gay.

Guys please I need your advise if ERP works to help in beating OCD. Because I've heard that if you will not repeat your rituals you will win. I want to share you with you the worst thing in my life. I am currently addicted of watching porn and masturbation so I am trying to beat it however already for years I had a horrible rituals to finish masturbating with good thoughts means without obsessions about dying, died people, that I wll get a cancer and so on. And while I am having orgasm I am always struggling with that thoughts and if even a small thought or a picture in my head will be bad like picture I will die or picture from horror firm or anything else I need to repeat masturbation even if I don't want to do it. Sometimes I am so stressed because it gives me so big anxiety if I will not masturbate again something bad will happen and so often I can just stay in bed for 10 hours and masturbate for 10-15 times to finish with good thoughts so everything will be ok. I am so tired of that I lost my good mood and don't remember when I had a good one I can't beat masturbation addiction because of that ritual to masturbate again and don't have a few seconds bad thoughts while orgasm. Or sometimes don't have a God picture in your head because it is a big sin to have a picture of God while masturbating. But I don't want to think about it but again and again at the end of masturbation If I had these thoughts my mind or OCD says you're terrible person so immediately masturbate with good thoughts to avoid and troubles. And it is horrible to masturbate 15 times a day and spend more than 10 hours forcing you to do it because of OCD. Guys if someone knows what it is that why do I need to do this ritual and how to deal with that. I would be very happy if someone can help me or know how to help myself. I WILL VERY APPRECIATE Guys because my life is horrible because of that (((((((...

Hocd is constantly saying to me that I'm just in denial. Like it's trying to force me to be something I don't want to, it keeps telling me that I should just give in, and that terrifies me. It tells me that I'm actually unconsciously homophobic (I never was), and that's why I resist it so much. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so sad and hopeless. Hocd is crushing all my dreams and expectations for the future.