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working to conquer OCD
I've called my GP twice and the first time I just hung up and cried. I called again just now but as soon as they answered I hung up again. Is there anyone else I can talk to so I can ask for these?
OCD makes me feel so alone. These last few months I feel like I’ve been unable to be honest or open fully with anyone. I’m so ashamed of what’s inside me and I’m scared. I feel like everything is my fault and I’m lonely despite having wonderful people and things in my life. I am alone and feel so fake and disingenuous.
How do I get my family to understand some of what I am going through and how the actions that they do could make it worse? I wish they weren’t so judgmental of the things I do. I truly feel like I can’t help it.
Ok so it seems my OCD has resorted to being in my DREAMS .. I’ve had three dreams in the past 2 weeks about men I had small crushes on in high school (not even people I’ve HU with in the past.. weird)… and I just had one last night and we only did slight sexual things but what’s crazy is I could feel myself in the dream becoming anxious.. that i was comparing this guy to my boyfriend in real life and our sex life etc. it’s crazy how our brains do this. It’s SO HARD not to want to examine the dreams. Because it’s like .. why the hell am I dreaming this? why does OCD want to test me so badly? The dream is literally one big exposure and in the dream, I was checking/comparing my relationship to the person I was with. I couldn’t help it. I was dreaming! However, when I woke up, I felt anxious. I breathed deeply and told myself it’s just a dream and that there is no need to examine the dreams. Have you ever experienced this?
I have been avoiding so much, for years. I’ve had a lot of physical health problems on top of a divorce and Covid which have all been very triggering for my OCD which revolves around health primarily, but also a lot of other things. So a huge way I’ve dealt with it has been avoidance and also just keeping certain areas as safe spaces and not really going into other areas so they end up getting really dirty because I have two kids and they don’t clean a lot and then I don’t wanna touch those spaces and it gets really hard to be in those spaces so I’m in my room a lot and it’s also hard for me to cook because I worry about foods and their cleanliness and if they’re safe to eat and I have a limited array of foods I will eat and I also have just a lot of racing thoughts and I guess internal type rituals, but I’ve been getting out more and starting to cook more with the help of my boyfriend and just trying really hard. But last night I was out with my neighbors after I cook some food and my boys are out playing with their kids and we were out sitting in patio chairs in the in the lawn and one of my neighbors who tends to be really obnoxious and not have an understanding of social cues says some thing nasty about my house being messy and I got really angry because the past few days I’ve been busting my ass and actually not been in bed for extended periods of time and I’ve been really proud and my boyfriend has been really proud and I just really didn’t need her comments and she even made like a shudder about the thought of going into my house. It was incredibly rude and I got very angry at her. And it was in front of all the other neighbors and she’s the type of person who will be so nice to you but then use it against you, Wich is similar to my abusive relationship with my ex husband. I have talked to her about struggling with some stuff and she’s had her struggles, but I talk more to her sister who’s had a lot of struggles and I think her sister has shared some stuff with her so that’s how she knows about my condo because her sister has been in my condo. She has not. So anyway I got extremely angry with her and yelled at her in front of everyone like completely out of control the kids were way out of hearing range. But it wasn’t good I didn’t stay in control and I’m not proud of that. She had also been egging people on all night it was like it was her goal to piss someone off. And today I just feel really sad and upset and I don’t feel good about who I am because I went through a 10 year abusive marriage and she just is so triggering because she can’t empathize and it reminds me of some of the ways he was. I have so many supportive people around me but I’m just so sick of being her neighbor and just putting up with her saying crap and just smiling and pretending it’s fine and also watching her be awful to her mother and her sister as well. And everyone was on my side but I don’t think it makes it OK that I lost my temper and said a bunch of things I should not have said. But now I just feel like I can’t leave my house and I don’t want to go back into isolation because that makes everything worse with my OCD, but I’m feeling a lot of social anxiety and I just feel like I don’t do well in the world. All the other neighbors seem to be on my side and were really supportive of me and angry at her but that doesn’t justify me behaving that way. And she’s right next-door to me so I still to deal with her every day and she was really mad after I left and talking about wanting to beat me up and stuff, I’m 37 and she’s 60 so this is like really immature for both of us, and I’m not going try to beat up a 60 year old but she claims she could take me. Anyway I guess it’s good it’s rainy today because she probably won’t be outside and I’m just gonna sit inside.
Hi community, so I have a question. I’m treating OCD by myself, and I’m currently don’t giving my thoughts an importance that they don’t deserve while focusing on the present and avoiding compulssions. But when it comes to the term “exposures” by itself, does that means that I have to look for a quiet place and sit with my anxiety until is gone?, or an exposure can be done just by walking in the street and just making fun of my thoughts. Or are both different but useful techniches?
How can you tell if you’re healed? Like is it when there is no more anxiety? Bc it’s like my fear of not loving him seems true bc of how much I ruminated on it. I have no feelings for him or anyone else right now. I am unhappy I am unhappy with myself. My partner sometimes does things that upset me but not all the time. My friends said our mental state is what’s holding us back. That they want both of us to be happy. I don’t know anymore. I just know I am very unhappy with myself and I am tired of fighting. I don’t wanna break up with my partner bc I know I just want freedom from ROCD. But how can I tell him I am stuck believing I don’t love him? I want relief from this endless cycle of misery. Do you think this app will take Fedelis insurance too? I really want help. I know when I’m happy I love my partner. My friend said your brain is a huge mess right now and you need to get better
Hi everyone, My name is Alen and I am an OCD-patient in my twenties. This is my first time using this platform, so I hope I won’t make any mistakes. I was diagnosed with OCD five years ago. Back then, I struggled with cleaning, contamination, checking, and sexuality OCD. I started taking SSRI and all those symptoms almost disappeared. However, during this past years, I have still been struggling with relationship OCD. I currently have no official partner; however, I am getting to know someone, and my intrusive thoughts have exploded. I am anxious 24/7. It makes me so hard to distinguish “real” thoughts about whether this person is suitable for me, of the intrusive thoughts inherent to OCD. This anxiety has led me to kind of an avoidant behaviour. The idea of talking to the person I am dating makes me anxious. Which leads me to think I do not like them anymore. That makes me even more anxious. I am desperate. I feel like I was holding an enormous burden of thoughts that I can’t get rid of. I would appreciate if any of you who has relationship OCD could comment with their opinion or advice on this. Specially if you have had these intrusive thoughts while getting to know someone, instead of in a formal, long-term relationship. If you got here, thank you so much for reading.
Im 17, My pocd and incest ocd was getting better but then I went on a reassurance bender online and ended up reading a story from a 19 girl saying she had sexual activities with her uncle and describing it in detail and i poped a boner. I cant keep living like this ive already made so many excuses for myself im a sick f*ck
I think I really wanna break up with my partner!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😖😖😖 I am having very bad anxiety! I can’t breathe! I am still sick so it’s even harder!! This isn’t real!!! I know I love him!! This has to be ROCD!!! All I can think about is not loving him! I’ve been obsessing about it for 2 years and now my nightmare is coming true!!!
Hi everyone! Having gone through NOCD therapy to now working here full-time, I feel like I’ve had the pleasure of not only finally getting appropriate care, but seeing the entire process of treatment here from both sides. That being said, I remember how absolutely terrified I was when I first started. Is there something holding you back? Want to check in with someone who has done this first before taking that step? Ask me your questions below, I would love to do what I can to help you feel confident taking this incredible step towards overcoming your battle with OCD.💗
Asking as a college student. Can anyone relate?
I feel like I want this. I have so much junk in my head. I get these weird feelings in my head. Because it's such a mess 😔
Has anyone succesfully treated their OCD by their own? Currently struggling with some finantial issues right now (I live in a Latin American third world country) and I would like to hear some testimonies on self treatment
I struggled with Real event/ false memory OCD and the waiting times to get help where I live are very long so I desperately was trying to find help online. I watched OCD recovery UKs videos on YouTube for a couple of months because i could relate to them and it sounded like what they said in the videos made sense. I also went to some webinars. And started reading the books on their reading lists I used acceptance on my real event/ false memory fear in a way that “even if this happened in the past I could accept my self”. and it got so much better. I don’t even notice it anymore. My ocd have morphed in to other things tough. I found posts on Reddit saying that OCD recovery UK are a cult and that the founder Robert are a narcissist that just wants money and stuff like that. And that he isn’t a licensed therapist and make people worse and depressed and numb or something. I read that he uses REBT and acceptance the wrong way that can be damaging. He also teaches you about disputing irrational beliefs and being rational. I fear that I have been damaged by his methods. Or that I now think certain things is acceptable. I fear That those videos and webinars and exercises I have done have screwed up my belief system and that I now have bad beliefs or that I am “rational in a bad way” What should I do. I’m scared. I also fear that I’m brainwashed by them or something. The word Cult makes me sick to my stomach
I'm not going to ask anyone for reassurance. If I made a mistake then I made a mistake and I need to practice being okay with it TL;DR - I got back in touch with a girl I went on a few dates with and may have overshared about OCD I lived in Washington state a few years ago and met a really fun girl while I was there. We went on a few dates and though I didn't understand it at the time, I now realize I stopped asking her on dates because I gave into an avoidance compulsion. OCD had me convinced that if I couldn't match her in spontaneity, energy, and enthusiasm then I'd be a bad boyfriend for her I feel like I got a one in a billion chance opportunity to try again. She recently moved to my home state to go to school and lives one town over. I've already taken her on a date and it went really well I've asked her on a second date and it's agony for me. Every minute I don't get a text or a call from her confirming her interest, I'm convinced she's lost interest not only in the date but in me. I sent a followup text asking what day works better between Friday and Saturday (a legit question--I have to buy tickets in advance). She responded by telling me that she and her roommate actually wanted to do the same activity I had planned and asked if we could do next week instead I gave into my reassurance-seeking compulsion and said if she wasn't sure if she was interested anymore that it's completely fine and I wouldn't be offended, just to let me know Thankfully, she's still interested! Here's where I think I made a mistake though. I didnt want to be sitting in unsure mental agony for another several days, so I sent her this text: "Yeah, we can we do next week And this might sound really silly, but it's part of the reason I mentioned having OCD. Can you promise that if I ask you on a date and you do lose interest or change your mind at some point, you'll let me know? You probably would anyway but it helps for someone to promise OCD makes your mind default to the worst possible outcome unless you have proof it's not true. So instead of feeling fine about our plans unless I hear otherwise, I'm stressing that unless I get some confirmation from you that you're still interested, you've already decided to cancel but haven't told me yet. Knowing that someone made a promise that they'll let me know if anything changes is the fallback that I can rely on: if they haven't told me they've changed their mind then everything is good" Maybe a weird thing to hear after only one date. If it is, I won't stress about it or beat myself up, I'll just keep it in mind for future reference
I didn’t want to post this originally but I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been recently told it’s very likely I have OCD by a therapy service, and one thing that really bothers me is guilt and shame after doing something even slightly wrong. In this case I think I did something truly awful and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t really eaten today — I should be studying for my exam tomorrow but I can’t get this off my mind. The guilt feels like I’ve murdered someone. I joined a new job a few months ago and have been pretty quiet there since, but recently decided to try to make some friends there and show my actual personality. I was invited to a pub with a few of my other coworkers but only 4 of us showed up — a girl I’m friendly with, a guy I’m friendly with, and a guy I don’t know too well whose girlfriend (who we also work with) has recently been promoted to our team leader. It gets bad here. We’ve all been drinking for a while and I’m starting to feel drunk, along with the other girl who, due to other reasons, ended up feeling very sick. They were all openly talking about sex at one point and the guy I don’t know well — who I’ll refer to as M — mentioned at some point that he was in an open relationship with his girlfriend. I remember him saying most physical things were fine as long as they talked about it, but romantic feelings were off the table. I should add I had no intentions romantically towards M. No attraction there, no feelings. I actually thought he might dislike me. It gets worse. He told me the other guy we were out with liked me, but was being respectful about it. He then added that he was also attracted to me but that was a conversation that would be had with his girlfriend. I am ridiculously oblivious and don’t process things properly when I’ve had alcohol just like any other drunk person, so thought he was just saying it in passing to demonstrate his point about the other guy’s respect towards me. I’ll admit I was flattered by that but still had no romantic feelings and didn’t reciprocate the attraction (for some reason I felt similarly to the way you do when a friend jokingly calls you sexy or something). It gets even worse. My female friend is violently ill and I go to look after her when M texts me saying he wants us to come out of the bathroom so we can leave. I thought he and the other guy were having some sort of argument. He texted telling me to just act drunker than I was and, I quite literally quote, “be all over him like I couldn’t get home without his help”. I did act a little bit drunker when I went out to update them but was against the idea of being ‘all over him’ so just spoke to him like I was drunker than I was. For some reason, and again I say I don’t read things properly when drunk, I didn’t think this was strange. Then we get to the train station to go home — the first guy who apparently likes me?? is with our friend. It’s me and M at this point and he keeps asking me if I’m alright. I tell him yes, which is true. I was drunker than I realised (the situation with our friend and being in the cold made me feel more sober than I actually was). He ended up offering me his hand to hold and I thought he was just trying to be comforting for some reason so I took it. This is the part I really regret. He put his finger under my chin and leaned in a bit. I didn’t process what was happening and turned my head. I then thought ‘was he trying to kiss me?’ and for some reason made the stupid, drunk decision to turn back and try to figure out if that was what was happening. I don’t remember if I leaned into it a bit but he went for it again and kissed me. I should add that, were I sober, and (I sincerely hope but ocd is kicking my ass) had he asked me and had I actually had the time to process it, it wouldn’t have happened. It lasted about a second, maybe less, before I pulled away. I told him he should speak to his girlfriend and I felt guilty. He agreed that he would (which, having spoken to him today, he told me he has and she’s okay). Then he tried to kiss me twice more, both of which I dodged. He was respectful here and said that was fine. He later said repeatedly something flirtatious like “you know what you’ve done” and that made me uncomfortable so I kind of awkwardly laughed it off. We’ve spoken this morning, I’ve confirmed he’s spoken with his girlfriend and I’ve firmly said I’m not looking for more than friendship with anyone, especially not at work. He agreed but keeps insinuating I was being purposely flirtatious throughout the night (which I wasn’t, that was never my intention. He also keeps joking about it happening again and that it’s ‘funny he kissed me before the other guy considering the effort he put in’. I should say that he asked me if it was consensual this morning and I answered that it wasn’t non-consensual if that makes sense, but that I didn’t process it as it was happening. I was quite shocked. I like neither M nor the first guy romantically. I feel awful about what happened and my part in it. I should’ve pulled away. I have to go into work this weekend, to see both people in the relationship and I honestly don’t know what to do. I like and respect his girlfriend a lot in the time I’ve known her. Even though I didn’t plan anything or have any intentions I feel like I’ve stabbed her in the back. I’m worrying he’s told her I was flirting or reciprocated his attention (now sober I’ve put all the pieces together somewhat) and was the one to initiate it. Or what if my other coworkers find out and think I’m trying to be a homewrecker?? That’s a selfish question in itself, I shouldn’t be concerned about myself. I just don’t know what to do. I know I’m in the wrong, and I don’t expect anyone to say differently, but I just need to talk about it before I go insane. I’ve never been this physically affected by my OCD before. I can feel it everywhere in my body. I’m seriously considering leaving it for a bit before quitting when I get back from uni. If you read this or scrolled to the end, thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I just need to make it through my exam, and then the weekend, and I might start to feel better.
PLEASE HELP I have real event OCD and am unable to determine what is and is not something I need to confess to my s/o. I have already confessed a lot of things that I did not need to confess and my excessive confessions have caused issues in our relationship. I recently remembered another event that happened that I feel the need to confess but cannot determine if it is something that is confession worthy or if it is just my OCD. Does anyone have advice on how to navigate this? I am afraid that if I continue to confess I will cause an end to a relationship that means the world to me but at the same time I feel guilty holding this information in.
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