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I don’t know what to do anymore someone please talk to me so I’m know I’m not alone. My life is a nightmare my mental health is declining

i keep getting weird thoughts and like if i think about something i start to think about it more and make my self believe i am this how do i stop this? ugh

Please does anyone else have the same thoughts and feelings as I do who suffer with ROCD (bearing in mind I love my boyfriend, he’s the kindest most loving boy and I love him with all my heart) we spend all day laughing with eachother! I’m constantly like: You don’t love him, this isn’t right with him, you’re horrible for stringing him along, break up with him, break up with him, did you ever actually love him, you’re probably a lesbian, you don’t find him attractive, there’s nothing between you two Then in other moments when I’m not feeling this I literally could cry with how amazing he is! 😢🙈

Does anyone else here have an obsession over a person? Really struggling right now.

Does hocd causes lost of interest because this days i don't have interest in anything

How do I get over it? How do I get over the fact that I've seen a bunch of horrible videos that were completely out of my morals when I was addicted? I constantly get the fear of going to jail, being a bad person, or never being able to recover from all those years of watching, wasting so much time when I could've did better things. It's hard not to blame myself for this stuff. It's honestly the only thing in my life that keeps me down over and over.

Does ROCD try to convince its not ROCD and it’s your real thoughts and feelings even though you know it isn’t?

i am sharing certain parts of my OCD journey to assure all of you out there who question whether recovery/progress is possible that it is! (i have put the words of affirmation that i used to combat but not argue with my OCD in bold!) i first experienced a compulsion when i was on holiday, there were lots of stones on the floor and i said to myself “if you step on all of these stones by the time you leave you are straight” then came in the anxiety and pressure to complete this task and it grew from there. things progressed from pure o to full on compulsions. i felt as though i needed to do this to prove to myself my sexuality when in reality i didn’t because i knew who i was and still am. this reached the point that i couldn’t not do compulsions when they popped into my head and this ties into my magical thinking subtype. i even set myself tasks to see whether i would do them to see if my stance on my thoughts was changing. 𝙄𝙏 𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙃𝘼𝙎 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝘽𝙀𝘾𝘼𝙐𝙎𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙎𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃𝙏𝙎 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙄 𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙍𝙀𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙈 𝙏𝙊 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙊𝙐𝙍𝘾𝙀 𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙔 𝘾𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈. however it got to the point where i was late for everything because of my routines and doing things until they felt “just right” and i knew that something had to give. i decided to wean myself off of my compulsions. at first i would postpone the time it took me to act on a compulsion. for example if i got the thought to “go and wash your hands again or …” i would not act upon in right away and let myself feel the anxiety and if it got too much only then i would do it. i then got sick of doing that and i just manage the anxiety instead, if any! this is where the acceptance of 𝙐𝙉𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙔 𝙄𝙎 𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙔 comes into play. by not acting upon the compulsion to gain certainty you are not giving OCD what it wants and rather putting that trust into yourself. this is ultimately going to lead you bettering your ability to not need to give into compulsions and give you a better chance at recovery. i have done it and you can to. i barely ever do compulsions anymore. i simply say “𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙋𝙐𝙇𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙄𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙂𝙊𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀 𝙈𝙔 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙔" and move on with my day. for instance, if you are in fact gay/straight, (which who cares if you are/are not) no amount of compulsions you do is going to change that! by this i mean that no matter what your subtype is, you are a good person and you are worthy. you do not have to do compulsions in order to prove this to yourself as they do not change any part of your reality. they just keep you in a state of rumination and fuel the power of your OCD. this combined with the ability to stop testing has been how i have combated severe OCD without any sort of professional help or a diagnosis but i will be getting a diagnosis in the near future. yesterday was probably the best day i have had since i began to struggle with this disorder. finally change your language, instead of saying “i hope i will be okay” say “𝙞 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮” as this enforces the confidence that your OCD doesn’t want you to have. you can do this! recovery is possible! you are loved! your thoughts do not define you! everything is going to be okay! if it makes you anxious, it’s because the things that OCD is attacking goes against your morals and values. it is not a part of you!

I stopped taking my medication (fluvoxamine) because I was getting dizzy and tired on it…. Also my sex drive kind of went down. Now I’m worried and honestly really scared to see how bad my OCD comes back. 🤦🏻‍♀️😭😭😭 I do not want to be caught stepping over cracks and flipping the light switch 20 times at work 😓 but to be honest the dizziness was making my compulsions worse. I am the worst at taking medication. I get so scared of the side effects… any tips on taking medication? I keep going on and off it and my doctor is getting a little upset😩

I had the fear if I blink at someone twice that they would die, so I use to blink at people once or three times. Is this ocd? I did this after watching a movie

Anyone?

I was doing fine singing Christian music in my car and then all of a sudden got triggered and reminded of the real event and the guilt filled my whole body and now I feel so upset and sad again. I really don’t want an ocd spike how can I prevent it? How do I know if it’s ocd? What if the real event is really worth worrying about? I can’t take this anymore 😭

The other day I posted something about my harm ocd. I was so thankful that a few people gave me some great advice. A few days after, one of the therapists also replied. It was great advice. But something they said at the end has triggered me so bad that I’m spiraling. They said that if my thoughts change to actually wanting my harm thoughts, to contact my therapist. For some reason, this has sent me reeling because part of my harm ocd is worrying if I want these thoughts! And now I feel like I’m this horrible person and I’m changing. It’s not their fault. They didn’t know they’d trigger me. But idk what to do because now I just feel exhausted.

Hi guys.. I don’t know if anyone remembers my old posts. I am here to let you know there is LIFE after beating OCD. I got to a point with OCD where I couldn’t so much as type or leave my room. As of today- I have graduated law school and am living my life again. It has been hard and I still have my moments. Keep going ❤️

i did my first session of erp and feel worse. it felt so triggering and it just felt awful. i almost felt aroused by some of it which felt terrifying. is this common?

Sorry for the length. I’ll try to sum up 8 years or so… So around 2014 I learned about manifesting your life by controlling your thoughts, etc. LOA. I remember hearing about this idea when I was a kid and being fascinated. I went hard trying to control my thoughts for the next 4 years. Some cool things happened which I took “credit” for, some bad things happened which I took “credit” for. Mind you I’ve had intrusive thoughts since I was like 7 so this was all probably really unhealthy for me to get sucked into. Albeit my family almost never went to the doctor for anything, much less a mental health diagnosis, so I had no idea. As far as I knew it was either just me or it was everyone and I just needed to get better at dealing with my mind. In 2018 I decided to try and manifest “the big one.” I decided to finally produce the mixtape I had been planning since I was 15 and it would catapult me toward my dreams of being rich and famous! Looking back it’s obvious to me that that goal was always meant to compensate for my feelings of unworthiness and shame. Nearing the release of the mixtape I started feeling a depression coming on. I was having a lot of intrusive thoughts and felt like I was losing grip on managing my mind, which would in turn affect my ability to manifest my life obviously. Truth be told I was suppressing my unwanted thoughts and emotions in an attempt to convince myself I was focusing my mental energy well enough to manifest the life I wanted. The tape released and I spiraled a month later. I felt like a sham. A fraud. An imposter. I couldn’t face my wife and tell her about my thoughts, my shame, and how I felt I didn’t deserve the life I was trying to create for our family. I failed her and I did not want to go into exposing every reason why I felt that way out of fear she would reject me. So I clamped up, worked less and less on music, smoked more and more, drank more, and overall just became a sulking mess. I was angry at myself. I was angry at God for making me this way. I was angry at God for the external challenges I was facing. I was angry at life for not working the way I wished it would. Meanwhile, intrusive thoughts galore. At the end of 2019 I leaned heavily into spirituality. Advaita Vedanta. I basically worked, smoked weed, listened to spiritual teachings, played games. All of this as a means to cope with just disliking myself and life. 2020, covid happened, worsened symptoms. 2 years of just trying to accept what is but still crutching along with marijuana, drink, and spiritual seeking. Those 2 years my smoking had become so habitual it was causing problems in my marriage, which lead to a decision to cut down at the beginning of 2022. I asked God, “you know I enjoy this, I need you to help me quit if its something I need to do for my family,” and I was serious. I didn’t expect it to come in the form of severe panic attacks and my themes peaking. My themes have always been sexual intrusive thoughts, spiritual/religious/moral, magical thinking, existential, relationship, and harm. I didn’t know any of those things were expressions of OCD until spring 2022 when I finally got brave enough to google some phrase I don’t recall that ultimately led me to learning about POCD and the various other themes. Before that I had only heard of Contamination and Just Right. When I read that first article I cried and felt an intense relief. Not only was I not alone, other people had experienced the exact same things as I had and there was help available. I didn’t really know where to start. I was still very anxious (quitting marijuana made it worse for a time). After a few panic attacks, confessing, seeking reassurance from my wife, mother, and best friend, and tearing through my childhood with our marriage therapist, finally my wife helped me find this app. At the end of May I started therapy with NOCD. I only did 4 sessions due to the expense (my insurance isn’t supported) but it was definitely helping. I won’t rule out restarting sessions if I need to. ATM, I feel like I’ve learned so much about this condition over the last few months that I’m in a decent place. I still wake up feeling doubt, still get intrusive images and thoughts, still get sucked into rumination, but I’ve cut down compulsions significantly from where I was before. I don’t spend every moment trying to figure out who and what I am. I’m a human with OCD, and that’s ok. I’m just very happy to have some direction and understanding of what’s gone on with me for most of my life. I don’t love the idea that this will likely persist forever, but at least now I know I can do something about it. If you’ve read this far, thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Good luck! 🙏🏽

(just sharing what i do on days where OCD is more overwhelming than others) 1. 𝙏𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝘼 𝘾𝙊𝙇𝘿 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙒𝙀𝙍 - the cold water regulates your breathing and increases endorphins and feel-good hormones in your brain which reduces anxiety! 2. 𝙒𝘼𝙏𝘾𝙃 𝘼 𝙁𝘼𝙑𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙄𝙏𝙀 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙒/𝙈𝙊𝙑𝙄𝙀 - i have a set of shows/movies that i will watch on days that i am overwhelmed, ones that i know will distract me from my thoughts. 3. 𝙅𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙉𝘼𝙇 - write down your emotions, dump all of the stress out onto your piece of paper, notebook etc. - you then have a choice, either you can rip this piece of paper up or scribble it out. it’s up to you! 4. 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙉 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘿𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝙐𝙎𝙄𝘾 - everyone is a dancer if they really want to be. the sprinkler? hell yeah. turn your music up and drown out those thoughts! 5. 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋 𝙏𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 - do not test your reactions to your thoughts as it keeps them present in your brain - think of it like this if you are looking for a certain reaction to a thought or trying to avoid one it will appear and cause further confusion! (e.g don’t think of the pink elephant, you’re going to) - you can also think of it as you’re actively setting yourself an expectation, that you’re going to have a specific reaction to your thoughts therefore you’re keeping yourself in that loop! 6. 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙁𝙐𝙇𝙉𝙀𝙎𝙎 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 - it sounds typical but when you’re overwhelmed taking a moment to breathe, deep breaths in and out can be so beneficial. focus on your breathing and not your thoughts! 7. 𝙋𝘼𝙔 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙊 𝘿𝙀𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙇 - no not within your thoughts, let’s say when you are going about your day. - when washing the dishes, what is the temperature of the water? what scent is the soap? how are you scrubbing the dish? - simply just walking? how does the ground feel under your feet? what speed are you walking at? - this takes focus away from your thoughts and keeps you present! 8. 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙆𝙊𝙐𝙏 - working out gives you a burst of energy and is also known to reduce stress and can also lead to a good nights sleep which we all need. 9. 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙂𝙀 - by this i mean rather than saying things such as “i hope things will get better” say “i know things will get better” - this is an example of certainty, just not the kind that your OCD is asking you for in order to keep you in a loop of rumination. this is a positive affirmation! 10. 𝙐𝙉𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙔 𝙄𝙎 𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙔!!!!!!!! - allowing yourself to be uncertain about the outcome of your thoughts does not mean that you are a bad person or are open to acting upon your thoughts! - this simply just means that you are not giving your OCD the certainty that it wants. - by being okay with uncertainty you’re taking the power of your thoughts away because you’re okay with the element of doubt. you know who you are! you know that you’re a good person! so these thoughts have 0 meaning to you and your life. finally, a reminder that your thoughts do not define you and that you’re going to be okay!

Ok so I’m getting worried that I’m not worrying and feeling scared that I want to be a boy or that is who I’m meant to be and that I was lying to myself and that before this all happened and was stepping further into my femininity it was me just being hyper feminine to hide that I was a boy or something I don’t know I’m so confused and really stress I’m not at home right and just want to go home so bad (currently doing like an orientation thing and they were talking about memory and stuff) and Im just so confused because I don’t necessarily feel brain fog or depersonalization or anything and I can seem to remember my memories but they aren’t how I used to think of them before. I can’t perceive myself as a girl anymore and just feel as though that I’ll never have a relationship ship that I want or any relationship in the future for that matter. I do believe women are attractive because they are but I never wanted to be with them and now I just don’t know if I was lying to myself or something I literally just want to cry and my body is always on lockdown and I’m so scared I won’t be comfortable with myself again and when I do i just think like no this is how you should be feeling or something I’m so hurt about this I just want to be secure and confident with myself again and feel good about myself and feel like a girl!!

I am adding a trigger warning, but I’ll still be mindful to censor. So I guess I would say I’m in a relapse. I was doing well (I think). I wasn’t having intrusive thoughts and I overcame a really hard theme. So for a few months I was doing pretty okay. My living situation and relationship took a huge hit and I guess I couldn’t handle the pressure idk. Anyway, one day I was trying to sleep and I got this intrusive thought about losing my mind I guess. Not being able to identify anything, speak, ect. Just being a blank mind or something. (I know, doesn’t my one ounce of sense to me either) Anyway, this really scared me, triggered me so badly that one of my old themes that I truly thought I had overcame came back. Not only did it come back, it sent me spiraling ( still am). It feels so much worse this time. And I’m struggling to overcome it. This thought: “how do we understand words?” And then it’s spirals into other thoughts related to this, but I’ll leave it at this. I can’t cope, my mind is hyper fixated on every word, not just mine. I can no longer watch tv comfortably, listen to conversations, or even speak myself. It’s making me feel like “unaliving” myself. I feel extremely alone in this. Like as if I’m the only person in the world to ever think this or struggle with this kind of theme. Getting some feedback would be great, but I won’t hold my breath.

Plz only respond with positive advice or thoughts. Last time I posted someone responded with a bad thought and it made everything worse. I have ROCD and I am absolutely terrified that I might cheat or doing something that’s cheating. Like everything is either bad or good. It’s all just black and white. I’ve never slept with anyone, given my number out, kissed anyone, texted anyone or secretly been seeing anyone. I freak out over things like making eye contacts with a guy and I notice he thinks I’m pretty (which feels good cuz I struggle with insecurities) and I make eye contact for too long, but the entire time I have no intentions of doing any with this guy and I’m very prepared to tell him I have a boyfriend if he comes over and telling him to leave. Anyways, that’s an example of the small things I tend to obsess over and just wondering if anyone worries about the same thing and any positive advice you could give before I go insane.