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working to conquer OCD
One of my triggers is stuff like warts and viruses. I don’t know what sort of therapy would work because they are genuinely contagious ??♀️??♀️??♀️ and while my response is completely out of proportion I can’t think of a way to get better. I have to control so much of my environment just to feel ok it’s a constant stressor
Does anyone else journal as a compulsion? I can’t tell if it is. I want to journal, I always use to, but for a while now ive noticed that whenever I journal I am just going in a bunch of loops and rumination can happen and I’m trying to keep that from happening. I’m learning to shut down ruminating, but that also shuts down my ability to journal, and I miss writing.
I just read something about psychosis/schizophrenia and now I'm super freaked out that something like that could happen to me and make me actually do my thoughts ? I've been doing really good lately but this just threw me off so much
Does anyone else think they have messed up their brain to the point of no return after onset of ocd symptoms? I was in constant battle with my brain for 5 months since I had a very bad habit of giving too much attention to my thoughts. A couple of months have passed since I left my brain alone but I still have brain fog as well as depersonalization/derealization. it sucks :(. I would love to hear from you.
My friends were joking about some things and there was a lesbian joke and my friend laughed and then said ew. i dont like homophobic people, but it made me feel offended and i dont know how to feel lol
Picked my skin really deep again. In a lot of pain and feel alone. Could use some support:/
Fuck POCD Don't let it get you down! The way I now see it is some kids are better looking than others! Got to the point now whether I don't care if I'm a pedo in denile. I didn't chose this! Anyone else the same?
Anyone else have OCD with eating . I can’t eat refrigerated food in case someone had placed it out and it had got warm . I check packets got complete closure. Even to the extent that I’m worried companies accidentally put mould into fruity cereal bars . I’m scared
Last days I have been feeling very good. Did not have any intrusive thoughts, it felt like hocd was completely gone. Today some thoughts came back and I felt bad for 2 or 3 hours, but I ignored the thoughts and the intrusive thoughts left. I hope my recovery will be successful. Just ignore the thoughts and keep yourself busy, it'll really help
I’m not trying to offend anyone out there . I just need to know that ocd is playing tricks on me and this is not what I want . Ofc I’ve been doing compulsions like googling. I’ve been look up symptoms of gender dysphoria . I’m afraid that I’ll one day want to cut my boobs off . This is really scary to think about I’ve always loved my female body I have a very nice body . But now this hocd or tocd w.e is making me scared . What if I don’t like my body as a women? It make me sad because I see other women and they look all pretty and stuff with makeup and I think to myself . “ I like that stuff , I don’t want to be a man , I don’t even know how to be a man , I wanna feel like a women and be the woman I am . “ but there’s a voice in my head trying to tell me I’m in denial . Or this is what I want . I remember when I had this theme ocd the first time how relieved I felt when it finally left my brain I felt myself again for a good two weeks till I eventually got pocd . ( witch also scary ) . The point I’m trying to make is . Are people who are actually going through this feel this depressed and in a dark place ? Because I know it’s not easy for them to do that either . And it makes me feel like the feeling I’m having is true . Even though I’ve loved my body and been in girl stuff for 18 years. But I’ve seen people start to want to be trans out of nowhere . That’s scary for me . I’ve never felt like this before . I feel like this time it’s hitting me harder then before . The thought of me being a boy makes me cry and feel like my original self is being taken a way from me . Ocd has been ruining my life for months now . Most of 2019 ive been extremely depressed and anxious . It’s caused me depersonalization and causes me to literally wake up and go to sleep and live life with a rock on my chest I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and nobody around me helps or understand. I’m trying to help myself but it is so hard . I wanted to have babies one day and start a family . Ocd is even stripping me away from that by trying to make me believe I want to be a man . I’ve had thoughts of suicide over 10 times this year due to these thoughts . I want to live a happy life . Being myself . I can’t take this . I ask myself everyday what did I do to deserve this ? I literally cry everyday. Every night . I am afraid of what my life will turn out to be living with this mental illness.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has made me so drained thinking of all the thing I think I did and all the things I think I want to do that I am SEVERELY depressed. I don’t have a life anymore. I work only part time and just sit in bed all day crying or feeling so empty I can’t cry. I have ZERO motivation to do anything. Even if I’m hungry I can’t get out of bed. This eventually results in me going to work at 5pm having eaten NOTHING all day. I am in constant pain due to health issues, type 1 diabetes and PKD. I want to be a novelist and I can feel that slipping away as I haven’t written in over 2 years. My memory is getting worse due to sugar fluctuations and my depression. And my health is never going to get better. Sometimes idk the point of being alive if I’m just going to lay in bed every day of my life and cry.
i am extremely depressed going overboard w obsessing about a conflict at work. my job literally makes me suicidal now. i talk about things im anxious about and that only makes me more anxious bc im constantly afraid the wrong person heard and im in more trouble. i dont know how to shut up sometimes. it’s how i seek reassurance in uncomfortable situations, like this work thing that has turned abusive. i think i should quit or go see HR. im in a constant state of panic.
You know what makes me feel sad the most is when i see straight couples.i feel happy to see them together but it makes me sad that i can never ever be in a relationship as it feels i will betray the guy. Lack of experience in relationship is making me question my sexuality even more.i was only once with a guy but did not feel any butterfly when i gave him a peck on his lips.it's not that i didn't love him but why didn't i feel anything.i just went somewhat blank. I went through a post on the internet where a person said that she was attracted to boys but never felt anything when she kissed them but realized later when she first kissed a girl that she's a lesbian. I am so afraid to enter this new world. I always fantasized about boys and i know that if not attracted i atleast wanted their attention. I just don't feel good!when thinking about all these things makes me uncomfortable and uneasy
Anyone on here suffered from BPD? 5 years ago it started with an Anxiety attack. Then morphed into GAD then severe depression and now pure OCD... I currently suffer with intrusive thoughts on if I am a socio or psycho. Or maybe I have a personality disorder etc etc. In the last two days I have wasted so much time endlessly researching and taking tests on the internet. And I can never be satisfied with the answers. Help!!! Thoughts!!! I looked into the usual tests and here are my answers. I fear that my family, partner or friends abandon or betray me, even when no real threat exists. - my answer to this was Rarely I cannot stand being alone - my answer was sometimes. I get desperate and/or furious when my close ones leave me even for a short period of time. - my answer was rarely. My relationships with close ones are very emotional and troublesome. - my answer was I partly agree. In my relationship with close ones, at first I idealize them and later, when something goes wrong, I hate them. These extremes in my attitude to people interchange frequently. - my answer was rarely/sometimes I guess depending on the person? People find me too demanding in relationships. - my answer was sometimes. I've attempted to completely change the life I lead. - my answer was yes...it has been hard but yes, and ive failed alot, but keep trying. Zoloft, family support and OCD therapist only recently. I have doubts about who I am and what the meaning of my life is. - my answer was 100% yes I think I'm a bad evil person. - my answer was alot of the time yes. When I'm driving a car, I cannot resist the urge to speed up and enjoy reckless driving. - my answer was No. At times I resort to binge eating. - my answer was No. At times I spend money recklessly. - my answer was maybe??? Not lately....in the past for about 2yrs I had a gambling addiction. I can't control myself when I'm gambling. - lol for sure...thays why I don't gambke anymore. I engage in unsafe and inappropriate sexual contacts. - this one is tricky....i have in the past but not right now at all especially on the past 2yrs....im pretty much a virgin again. I was molested when I was younger like 7 and unfortunately coerced a friend of mine into a sexual act at the same age....trust me I have guilt and shame about this daily....it haunts me. I'm thinking of fantasizing about committing suicide. - I answered sometimes/rarely when I'm really low and panicky. When I have quarrels with my close ones I threat to kill myself. - I answered no. When I'm very upset or angry, I hurt myself to calm down. - I answered no. I have times when I feel very irritable for several hours - I answered sometimes especially certain people and when my intrusive thoughts are in full effect. I feel anxious for several hours. - my answer 100% yes. I seek out new activities or experiences to occupy myself because I get bored easily. - I said sometimes. I get desperate because I feel empty. - not sure aboit desperate, but I definitely feel like I don't know who I am....and that frightens me, especially with the OCD part, my mind fights morally with me all the time. I get angry easily. - internally I do, but not outwardly and only sometimes, its more or less irritable when I have an intrusive feeling or thought/urge. I feel that everyone and everything is against me. - I mean not really, more like I feel like a freak and people can easily read that from me, so I internalize it that I am broken and cant form real connections, and then I ruminate and go down a dark hole. But its more at me not them. I have the feeling that I'm not real. - hmmm well I defiantly feel DP/DR like I'm not 100% present in the moment, more like I'm focused so intently on my thoughts and rumination. Like am I listening to what they are saying, can they tell im not listening. Am I feeling true empathy for this person or am I faking it? Do I jave enough empathy etc etc etc Please help any thoughts will help!
hey guys so i was wondering if it’s normal to not want to do anything sexual. i struggle with HOCD and it just makes me nervous/scared to do stuff with guys because i’m afraid that i won’t like it but i’ve done stuff before and have liked it. i just wanna know if that’s normal to just not feel much sexual desire to do things
Hi everyone, I think I’ve struggled with OCD since I was a child but it’s seriously effecting my life now. I think I have what you would call Philosophical/ Existential OCD. I can’t stop questioning my reality, the truth of reality and the universe, enlightenment, Christianity, solipsism, god, myself, my own existence. It never ends. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I think I have Pure O, but I also compulsively google my questions and search through the answers for hours until I feel calm. The peace lasts all of 5 minutes and then I’m googling another question. It’s so stupid because I know the meaning of life isn’t found on the internet but I can’t handle it all on my own in my head.
Hi everyone. I want to share my story here cause I think you might understand. I got triggered over something very stupid. I noticed that my brain is not focused and the thoughts are bothering it. I didn't give it much attention. the next day the same thoughts came to bother me.. this went on for a couple of days untill I had enough so I decided to push away the thoughts when they came. This led to a chaos in my head and It got to the point that I didn't know what to do. If I left my brain for itself It would bother me and would not let go and If I fought the thoughts It would just get worse. So I made a decision (which made sense to me at the time for some reason) to force myself to be focused all the time and not get distracted by the thoughts. This meant I was putting a lot of pressure on my self since I was afraid of leaving my brain for itself cause I was very afraid of it (I had a history of my brain locking on some things constantly for months and It was very though). I kept living this way for two months and at a certain point I had a breakdown cause I couldn't take it any more. I again fell into the loop of trying to remove the thoughts from my head (my mental ritual) to not have any annoying thoughts and stop the thoughts from making me lose my focus (due to this whole thing. I developed an obsession about not losing my focus!) . It got to the point that I was doing this mental ritual every second of every day and It became very automatic :(. From that point it took me two months to be able to stop doing the mental rituals, which I did by looking at the frame of my glasses each time I had the temptation to do the rituals. this stopped me from doing weird stuff in my head and I came out of my head. Unfortunately after I put an end to doing the rituals I noticed that I was extremely depressed and was experiencing depersonalization and derealization. I am depressed to this day (two months after stopping the rituals) and I feel like an alien on this planet. I feel like I'm not understood and I feel like I suffered so much for something that didn't need suffering. I'm afraid I might get to the point of blaming myself for not being able to not be strict on my brain and just let go. I'm Afraid of getting to the point of wanting to end myself. I know I did my best in that situation but that doesn't stop me from the fear. I would like to hear about your thoughts.
(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
