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No one who cares No one who understands No one who shows up No one who listens I have no one… Not even on a post venting to the world… I have no one…

so i need advice because i genuinely am not sure what is the healthiest thing to do. my partner knows i have ocd and knows a little about the specific themes i struggle with. but there’s a lot i haven’t told them because i’m scared to open up about it and/or because i think it’ll negatively impact their own mental health. how much of my ocd should i tell them about? do i carry on keeping most of it to myself, protecting their feelings and mine but bottling up all my problems? or do i lay it all out, helping them understand me better and finally giving myself an outlet but potentially hurting them? or something in between? i would ask a therapist if i had one but that’s not a possibility for me at the moment so if any of you have advice then i would really appreciate it

How do you make a jar of muddy water clear? Do you stir it? Do you shake it? Do you add something to it? No matter which action you take, the water remains muddy. The only thing you can do is to let the water sit long enough for the mud to settle at the bottom. In other words, the only thing you can do is ... nothing. The same is true of the human mind. There's no way you can think about things to make your mind calm down. The mind only works in one direction: more thinking. Whatever thought, problem or strategy you throw at it, the mind will always think about it more. As such, trying to think your way out of overthinking (or fear, anxiety or stress) is the psychological equivalent of trying to clear muddy water by stirring or shaking it. All you can really do is leave the mind alone and it will clear all by itself. Clarity is the mind's default state. When we don't interfere with our mind, it returns to clarity, automatically and effortlessly. Of course, not interfering is easier said than done. We often feel that we have to keep stirring the water for fear of something terrible happening. We tend to want to analyse, fix, or cope with whatever problem we are faced with. Yet this only makes the problem worse, because all our efforts only result in more thinking, rather than less. What underpins this behaviour is fear - fear of a negative outcome. We are so afraid of failing, being rejected or being alone that our mind compulsively tries to analyse, fix or cope with the problem. Yet it is not the situation or circumstance that causes the overthinking - it is our fear of the negative outcome. Of course, our fear isn't real. It is a fabrication of our mind that we create when we use our incredible creative powers to imagine a negative, scary future. Yet just as our fear isn't real (although the experience of it is very real), the negative future isn't real either. All that is really happening is that we are creating an imaginary future which makes us uncomfortable and afraid and pushes our mind into overdrive. So how can we help our mind not get tangled up in its own spiderweb? In my experience, there are two ways: The first is to simply sit with the idea of the negative consequence that you fear (being alone, failing, being rejected, going broke, etc) until you become emotionally okay with it. Most of what we fear is a fear of the unknown. The idea of a particular negative outcome feels so bad or uncomfortable that we do our best to never think about it. As a result, again, we try to avoid, analyse, solve or cope with the problem. We don’t want to think about failure or going broke. Yet whatever solution we come up with and whatever action we take, they are grounded in the fear of the negative outcome happening. As a result, we continue being driven by fear. And we keep overthinking. Yet if we sit with our fear and explore it until we become okay with it, the fear loses its power over us. Instead of being yanked forward by fear, we can approach life from a place of freedom, joy, curiosity and love. This allows our mind to naturally settle because we’ve neutralized the fear that was causing our anxiety and overthinking in the first place. The second way - and this is what I prefer - is to simply understand the mechanism that creates our experience of reality. When we see that all fear is just mental energy and not the result of the outside world with its circumstances, events and people, it no longer makes sense to analyse, fix, avoid or cope with it. When we learn to see that we are only ever living in the feeling of our thinking and not the feeling of our circumstances, our life transforms: We become free to simply float with the ebb and flow of our mental energy. When our mind overthinks, we sit back and enjoy the show. When we feel afraid, we allow that feeling fully without getting caught up in its story. When we are irritated, we feel the incredible power of the feeling without lashing out at others. We become more human because we allow more of ourselves. We can end the tyranny of trying to limit, control and deny ourselves who we really are. All this is possible when we realize THAT we are thinking, rather than focusing on WHAT we are thinking about. We can let our mind do what it does without us getting in the middle of it. We know that no emotion can actually hurt us, no matter how strong or negative. This allows us to feel all of it, to end the life of trying to avoid, hide from, and attempt to fix feelings of discomfort and fear. And when we stop trying to control the mind (which we can’t control anyway), we allow it to return to calmness and clarity every time it gets caught up in too much thinking. Just like a jar of muddy water - when we let it be, calmness and clarity returns, naturally and effortlessly. By Antti Vanhanen

Today I had to talk about hearing God and it brought up all the old questions of if the loud intrusive thoughts I’d hear were God and if I’m marrying the wrong person and if I’m in the wrong place. Is there anyone that understands or can relate to this fear?? I want to peacefully marry the man who is good to me and loves God, not the one who’s been abusive along with his family. Idk how to fight today.

When you have OCD, it might be hard to open up about some of your scary, intrusive thoughts. Certain images, words, or phrases can be particularly triggering, especially if they remind you of your OCD subtype or theme. That's why we're challenging all of you to describe your scary, unwanted thoughts in the comments - using only 3 emojis. That way, you can push yourself outside of your comfort zone while still letting others know that they aren't alone. You can even go through the comments and "like" the ones that you resonate with, so the person knows they aren't the only ones out there having that experience. We'll go first... ? ? ?

Does anyone else struggle with this and how do you overcome it? - I have obsessions and command intrusive thoughts/ intrusive urges of googling things that will traumatize me. E.g googling violent acts, reading disturbing articles. These thoughts STICK to my brain and I really don’t know how to let go of them? I also don’t know IF I should go through with them to show my brain not to be scared?

I'm fucking up my entire relationship. I feel like i don't give a fuck what happens and it's messing me up. I told him I expect him to break up with me. I feel like I'm using everything in my fucked up head as just an excuse. He deserves better. All this is making me this is how can I possibly call this love? You don't do this shit to someone you love. I want to love him so bad, and saying just that makes me think I don't and never have. I think I've never felt it but I swear I know it but how could I possibly know it and not think I feel it?

My therapist is getting on top of the way I wash my hands. Its really challenging. I am struggling with bad contamination OCD. It really takes up so much brain space. I would love to hear from other people how their journey is going.

I had a really overwhelming and scary episode last night about “not caring is I’m a pedophile”. I basically kept having unwanted intrusive thoughts that really shook me up and scared me because they were coming so quickly. And then I thought “what if I just give into these thoughts” “what if I just succumb to them” however I immediately regretted thinking that and I started crying and it was just really bad. It’s been in my mind all day and although I’ve been having a productive day I can’t stop feeling guilt and regret towards having those thoughts. To even consider that makes me so angry and frustrated I wish I never had that thought because now I can’t stop feeling anxious and like a terrible person. I don’t want to feel this way anymore but I don’t know what else to do. If anyone has gone through a similar situation or advice I would love to hear it. I just feel awful and my brain won’t stop reminding me of how awful I should feel. My brain hurts from how much I’ve been thinking about this and I just feel so frustrated.

I have a huge fear of war and I’ve been banned from watching/ reading the news because of the state I was in after reading it. However (I live in the UK) and a friend told me putin is getting closer to the UK. I’m so scared. I can’t sleep.

I don’t have covid but I do feel like I have the flu or just a really bad cold. I feel as though I’m sick because I deserve to be sick and this is one of my many positions of karma that I have been dealt because I’m the “bad person” the ocd says I am because of the real event that haunts me every second of everyday and that I don’t deserve to get better. I’m in college and I’m getting behind because I have been skipping classes by going home and sleeping because I literally haven’t been able to focus on any school work and I’ve called of for my job a couple times and now I’m going to be behind financially too. I feel terrible. And I feel like I deserve to feel terrible

I feel like I’m not “struggling” as bad as others might be and that’s making me so scared. Like don’t get me wrong the intrusive thoughts and images have been soooo horrible and gruesome and caused me so much stress and anxiety. But never once have i isolated myself from my family. Like I’ve always been part of family events and have enjoyed them. And on here i always here stories about how people have to isolate because they fear they will hurt their family. Like don’t get me wrong i too fear that i will do something wrong but I’m isolating myself. And it makes me scared that I’m not, like should i be? Does that mean that i want my thoughts because I’m okay with my family? Also others Struggle for years in end and i have only been struggling for about 3 months and i feel like I’m already potentially getting “better”. Like I’m not struggling with intrusive thoughts as much and if they do come i feel like i can shut them down quickly. I just feel so guilty and so terrible because others struggle so bad. And it makes me feel like there may be truly something wrong with me because I’m recovering quicker if you will. Can this be normal? I’m actually kind scared.

Are there any new teachers out there struggling to manage supporting your students during these challenging times as well as being overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts and physical symptoms. My thoughts tend to be centered around my own performance: the OCD tells me that everything that doesn’t go exactly to plan is my fault and I deserve to feel ashamed. Comment if you’re a teacher struggling with OCD. It would be nice to know that we aren’t alone.

I broke up with my ex after he proposed. I went into a state of shock, panic, and anxiety. We have been working on mending things after 6 months apart. I’m considering asking him if I can move back in, but I’m scared of what he will say and of my ROCD kicking in hard and putting me back into panic and anxiety world.

What if I don't

How do you keep going when your absolutely destroyed inside? I try to motivate others on here and right now I can’t seem to have any positive thoughts for myself. I feel like I’m just in the way of my partners life and he’d be better off without me…

guys i’m freaking out. i told my boyfriend i didn’t want to have sex (i’m afraid i’ll regret it) and i feel so guilty. it’s terrible

My boyfriend has ROCD and it can get tough or discouraging at times but I’m in it for the long haul. Does anyone have any affirmations that help them?

I want to love him but something is stopping me… I am really starting to think I don’t love him at all anymore… 😭💔 I don’t wanna break up but then I hear you don’t wanna hurt him… I know I’ve done so much damage… I know what I did… 💔 I’ve been actually thinking about breaking up but I know I really don’t want that.. This is becoming too much and I am so depressed I ate 2 full bags of candy in two day… 💔😢😭 I don’t wanna break up.. I know I love him but the feelings of negativity take over and it becomes difficult to deal with… I need to delete Reddit…

I worry about cheating ocd specifically emotionally cheating. I can’t have male friends anymore cuz I convince myself I’m in love with them etc. or what if I cheat and don’t know? Etc.. I also have a fear I had sex with someone and don’t remember and I worry a lot.