Welcome to
the NOCD Community

very sexy and hot of the most important people in my life to listen to my experiences with ocd and then try to convince me that i don’t have a disorder

Hello everyone!! I’m a Musician, i must say i’ve been dealing on and off with OCD, before saying the negative of my specific situation i must state that in the past OCD has helped me, for example, i can play in my head every single instrument like a CD separating each one and knowing what notes come along, this has potentiated my hability as a musician. On the business side i graduated law school and helped me towards reaching my goals. I believe when chsnneled correctly this can be of help to many. On the downside i must admit i am currently on a small relapse, i’ve gotten a mixture of these: Health OCD (my gf wants to get breast implants and i’ve been worrying she might die from a complication of it), Past sexual experiences that i find not honorable OCD and well sometimes OCD about having OCD (i know right) that feeling of “am i sick, will this get better? will i go crazy? will this cripple me? honestly thats all part of the instrusive thoughts, i am in CBT and Pristiq, although i would like to hear some techniques that have worked for you guys as we are on the same ship. I normally fall in the trap of googling for information (thats my compulsion) about everything, its a trap i try to avoid, and im just learning to accept the anxiety and thoughts rather than fighting them. If you feel identified please let me know what techniques you have used in the past i would appreciate, and well remember this too shall pass and we will learn, life is ups and downs, this shall make us stronger. Best wishes M

I really am starting to feel like the old me :) I’m so proud of all the work I’ve done to get better. I know I’m not fully recovered but I feel better!! I’m so ready to be me again!

My boyfriend resents me for what I put him through after I lost my job. I would lash out in his company accommodation and have melt downs, plus a few drunk meltdowns in public. I had gotten off my meds and was living abroad so when I lost my job I just lost it. The calm person he used to be turned into a monster. Now he lashes out at me. When I bought up his ex once while he was mad he even said she looks much much better than me. He told me he didn’t mean it and it was for revenge but it replays over in my head. He was packing and leaving the apartment once and I had no money I didn’t know when he would be back. I tried to hold him and he couldn’t hit me so he spit on me so he could leave for some space. He gave me the world and after what I’ve done he’s so bitter. He sent me home for a few months while he travels for work. He says we will work on our issues but I seem to be getting all the blame and he says he’s a reaction to my actions. Idk how to get the same guy back or prevent myself from resenting him after all said and done.

I’m really scared..everyone in here is talking about a specific type of thoughts or an known theme ..i think off all things in an crazy way

Does anyone else try accepting thier thoughts and just thinking whatever to them? I have severe pocd and I can understand the concwpt of just accepting them as thoughts. But what do you do when you see a preety little girl for example? I just think she's preety abd the I think does that mean attractive??....

The fact that Im googling to see if that Im feeling numb towards my partner and that Im scared because I dont feel anxiety anymore so Im thinking my thoughts are real and that Im feeling that my partner is not real is normal could be considered as a compulsion? I think Ive been going through the backdoor spike for almost two weeks now and I dont even know what to feel anymore

Question, anyone have a day where there’s no intrusive thoughts or irrational worries, but then you start to feel a little anxious for no apparent reason; so your mind immediately jumps to the thoughts that usually bother you?

Looking for opinions please. Suffer from Intrusive Thoughts related to speed (not the drug) due to past trauma as a child. However, experienced something different and peculiar.  I have been with my girlfriend for 10 + years, she's funny, beautiful and very sweet. I admit that I plan to get engaged end of the year. I recently returned from a trip abroad with my family, then soon took my girlfriend on a trip that involved a long arduous drive. On the day we returned we sat with her family having a nice time (even if I was a little tired) and suddenly a thought hit me from nowhere (paraphrasing) "you're laugh is annoying" or "you're not likeable". I was so taken aback that I even thought this. I love this girl, so where did that even come from?! Because of these kind of thoughts, I started to have an anxiety attack that I attempted to conceal from those around me. I felt sick to my stomach, sweating and even moderately shaking. I'm sure you all know anxiety, so I won't detail it further. But the idea of these thoughts still churns my stomach. Whenever I see her now I feel guilty, I feel anxious that I'll think something like that again. It's a vicious circle of course, the more you try to avoid these things they seemingly get worse. Is this even something related to OCD or Intrusive Thoughts? Usually such thoughts are images, not this. I have been looking up online what it could be, even considering whether it's voices in my head, afterall I don't know what that would even be like. I feel dreadful about it, I want to propose to her but she deserves better surely. Really confused and ashamed. My other intrusive thoughts are not like this, nor related to anyone. Would appreciate your thoughts. Thank you.

My therapist just said something that absolutely triggered me and now I want to cry. She said that some of my thoughts may not be intrusive, if a thought makes me feel good then it means that I have to accept it so that the world can too. But my thoughts don't make me feel good, they make feel uncomfortable and distressed what the heck does that mean. She's great with helping you having a more positive mindset but I desperately need a cbt therapist right now

I’m coming off of 1/2 mg of Klonopin and originally I was on 2mg a day about a month ago. How long do withdrawal effects last specifically the heightened Anxiety. This really sucks.

Having a rough morning, can’t figure out if I’m gay or straight. I miss men. I used to know my orientation now I’m so confused. I know it’s ocd because every female I see is attractive but i just want this to go away. My ocd is looking for new ways to bother me for ex. I had the thoughts what if I get cancer or what if I kill someone but nothing bothers me except for hocd

I'm literally just exhausted, I just to cry and rip my brain apart. I either get sexual images or gay ones or weird ones. I'm literally worn out, I don't see the point in keep doing this if I have to stay like this. I would rather die or lock myself alone for the rest of my life than being with someone of the same sex. I truly feel like I'm gonna do or say something screwed up. I just want this to stop please

i have a date tomorrow! which is exciting but also really fucking scary. like they’re so nice but we’re watching movies together and im worried they’ll make some move i can’t abide bc of my ocd like if they try to like. Put their arm around me i might freak out i can’t can’t can’t handle touch and i don’t know WHY

I’m about to sit with the thoughts and let them be there. Here goes nothing. I’ve had some weird anxiety all day and I just want to cry. I haven’t really thought about the thoughts to much I’ve just noticed them all day. Ugh I want to be better already. Wish me luck!! I’m about to go through hell letting these thoughts be here but it will be worth it

Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.

Ok so just now I got a really bad intrusive thought it was “what if I’m actually gay” but I’m trying to handle it as good as I can. I’m always nervous that I don’t actually have ocd and I’m just denying that I’m gay. I almost did a compulsion, it was to look at pictures of girls (not naked just normal pictures) to see if I was attracted to them in a way that I would be considered a lesbian, but I stopped myself. I’m going to allow these thoughts to sit and make me upset. I’m not anxious but I think that’s just because I’m getting over the thoughts. I’m not going to look through this app and try to find reassurance I’m going to make sure I don’t make myself feel better. I’m home alone right now so my thoughts are wondering, I’m thinking a lot. I’m going to play games to kind of separate my thoughts, and make myself feel calm. Games have always been a big part of my life, I love games so that will bring me joy. I wanted to post this just so I could show myself that I can get through hard times, and hopefully this will help someone else!

First time posting and just feel like sharing my experience with OCD because apart from my boyfriend no one in my life really knows I deal with this! From the youngest age I can remember having this horrible feeling of just uncomfortableness that would come and go and I'd label it like 'oh here's that really uneasy uncomfortable feeling again' but never really knew what it was. I can always remember having occasional distressing thoughts about never seeing my family again and feeling compelled to carry out 'neutralising' actions to feel calm. The first biggest/long lasting obsession that I can remember was being about 10/11 yrs old and panicking about whether I was a lesbian or not, I used to spend my evenings Internet searching, googling checklists, quizzes or 'characteristics' of lesbians ( All of which I know now are really stupid and based on stereotypes, but I was young so), interestingly this obsession went away as I reached the age of about 14, because as I developed my own opinions of the world, I had mates that were gay and I sort of decided that didn't really care if I was a gay or not, I just accepted the uncertainty of the obsession, so the obsession became less frightening (easier said than done tho right!!!!). But then I just began to develop other obsessions about family members being harmed, when they didnt text back, worrying abt if my mom had been hurt at work and feeling the need to ring my dad after school purely because id invented this situation in my head of my dad not coming home. I still have this obsession now, but I'm almost 21 so it's a bit embarrassing calling ur mom up making up some excuse about why you're ringing but infact you're panicking about her welfare. When I got my first boyfriend at 17, we arranged our 2nd date weeks ahead and I cancelled the night before because I had convinced myself he was going to hurt me. By 17 I had developed alot of obsessions about my loved ones being harmed; my boyfriend lives an hour away from me and he used to get public transport home late at night from mine, I used send him with strict instructions to text me often hahahaha, he'd text but I'd still have that awful feeling so I used to walk round in circles on my rug in bedroom a certain amount of times until I knew he was safe. I then developed severe relationship OCD where I'd get intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend cheating on me/finding someone else, I would constantly ask for reassurance, it would provide temporary relief from my anxiety and then the obsession would return (Ive learnt first hand how reassurance is literally your own worst enemy when it comes to OCD). I had no idea I had pure O until this year. 20 years of my life with this and I always thought my behaviour was normal and what everyone else did, even tho I'd spend my time carrying out compulsions constantly like asking for reassuarance or retracing things with my eyes a certain amount of times, picking my skin excissively (dermatilliomania - can't spell lol) and saying phrases over and over in my head. BUT I still had no idea it was ocd? This was definitely due to the stigma of OCD and never knowing it's actually what I've had all my life. I still have obsessions now obviously, mostly harm OCD but I'm lucky, I feel like I've made massive progress already and there's some great things I've learnt - seriously if anyone ever ever wants to know or talk! Not here to provide reassurance just a listening ear and maybe give some support/ points on what's helped me so far! THANK U for listening!!!! :-) hope u all have a nice day

Is there anyone who has beat or is close to overcoming their OCD and do you have tips on how to beat it?

What should I do?? ?? I keep thinking “I should smash this jar on my cats head” and the urge is so strong. But obviously I don’t really want to. It’s making me feel physically sick. I usually just end up screaming into a pillow. But NOTHING makes the thoughts disappear except when I reach the point of exhaustion by crying for hours and end up just sitting in my bed feeling numb. Unable to think at all. Is this going to be my life forever?