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Cliché, but Meditate. If I could go back, I would have meditated every single day. Whether for 5 mins or 2 hours, everyday consistently. Don’t think about end results, just do. Thats all I can say, it is something that just has to be experienced, and once it pays off, you will understand why I told you.

how to deal with obsessive thoughts about death?? i cant function anymore because the only thing on my mind is wether or not im gonna make it to tomorrow and its exhausting its been like this for months and i have no idea how to stop.

hey y’all! the past few weeks i’ve felt my anxiety get really bad again, when it gets bad it always comes in a depersonalization derealization kinda way. the last few days it’s been at it’s peak. i’ve felt like a complete loss of control i feel like i am not in my own body like my thoughts,actions, words everything is not my own like i can’t recognize myself in the mirror and feel completely numb to all emotions everything i just feel like i’m auto pilot. but it comes with this great overwhelming fear i don’t know what’s causing it or what im scared of but i just feel panicked for days on end. does anyone else feel these episodes? what can help? i usually go to the gym but my doc told me to stop since i have been having heart issues (possible trigger to anxiety is finding out bad blood work results and being sent to several doctors for immune and heart issues and finding out my bf of 3 years cheated as well as next week is my last week as a teenager ever so feeling very very out of control right now) please help! i’m freaking out 24/7

I mentioned yesterday that I would write about this later...so here it is. I feel…I don’t know. My boss who is so nice is leaving…I am probably going to cry. I will write more about my feelings for him later…I feel like I need to vent out (the following I wrote to my therapists): I have really had a tough time the last few days. I could not even sleep until 5:30 a.m. because I was so distraught (I don't ever recall that happening). If you wanted to talk to me is it possible to email me or call me on my cell because I don't want my family finding out. Feeling sad that my boss is taken (he is the first boss that I have fallen for, and I would say I have fallen for him pretty hard). I love his voice and his body and his laugh and how nice he is and he seems smart and he has a pretty truck that looks manly and probably a bunch of other things. I even looked him up online and it appeared that he may be married based on what I saw from Whitepages.com and from some of him and his families' social media sites, but I still wasn't 100% sure. It also looks like he has a wedding ring which I also find pretty. The point is I have felt like this about him for at least a year and it is a pretty massive crush, I would say. It was heartbreaking, I guess. A lot of my previous email was from a message I sent my NOCD therapist (she is on vacation), My previous (and first) boss was very abusive and even made me cry and never adjusted my schedule. My current boss has been so flexible and caring. He is the first boss I have fallen for. I have had some very intense crushes in the last few years (I was attracted to the same things in all of them, pretty much; their looks, they seemed nice, etc.) but he may be the first one with all of that plus I actually have gotten to know him and love his personality. I feel like he made me feel so safe after my last manager made me feel deeply upset. I get along so well with him. I have no idea what to do. I woke up and not long after started tearing up a little. I am not suicidal or in any danger but I have never felt this heartbroken. Please let me know what I could do. He is still at my work for a little longer. Thank you so much! I could add some more to this: I have had trouble eating since I found out yesterday that indeed my boss is leaving. My former boss (female, btw) yelled at us and insulted us and talked down on us and made me cry. She didn't seem to care about my schedule almost at all and overworked us. I felt like a victim and still am traumatized by her. She was a micromanager and a bully and abusive. My current manager? He is not a micromanager. He has been so nice. He praises me and has said stuff like calling me "smart" and "an asset" and "it's great having you here". I had no idea he was leaving. We just lost two people due to a sudden firing about two weeks ago and that was traumatic enough, and now this? Our store is so short-staffed already! I am worried to lose this wonderful job. It is a temporary job for me (I am trying to get a job with my college degree), but it is my first adult job and where so much of my OCD recovery has happened. I would never engage in an inappropriate relationship with him; I wouldn't want anyone doing that with my dad lol 😂. Seriously, though. That is wrong. I wouldn't want someone messing with my husband. I have total compassion if you have feelings for him (we are human, after all), and I have no problem if you want to be close friends with him, but don't have a relationship with him! :). I knew even before this job you can't have a relationship with your managers, but this just stunned me. I can't believe how hard I have fallen for him (no wonder he is taken; he is so lovely) and how hard it is now knowing he will leave soon. I do want to keep in touch with him in an appropriate way because he is the first nice manager that I have actually gotten to know in my young career. I would love to be lifelong friends with him. I told my friend at work about my feelings for him now that he is leaving and he agreed that he is a good-looking guy. Any thoughts? I have never had an attraction like this before in my life.

When you are having anxiety and feel like you’re losing your freaking mind what should you do? Ugh! Been obsessing for almost 24 hours now!

I feel like my ocd has gone much worse with medication. I feel more anxious when I was not medicated and it makes me feel tired.

Do you ever feel like you've been two different people in this life? One prior to getting proper help for your OCD and a different person after ERP? For me, whether right or wrong, I still sometimes refer to myself as "the old me," referring to before I got help. Am I the only one?

I first found NOCD through a google search one night. You know the kind, those rabbit holes we can get ourselves into while searching for "how do I know my significant other really loves me?" I was flabbergasted when I found an app full of people who actually understood what I was experiencing. I was convinced I was the only one for years! The NOCD app has been an incredible blessing. I love the NOCD community chat! What about you? I'd love to hear your favorite part about the NOCD app!

Is anyone in a relationship, an extremely happy one and loyal one. But you see a person and you find them attractive and you feel guilty? You feel like you’re cheating and it’s consuming your mind.

I just want to go back to how I was, nobody speak Arabic here I can't understand anyone

I’ve been questioning if I maybe might have… autism…. and I hate that because I feel like people are gonna look at me and say that I’m a faker or I want attention or something when it’s like… I’m horrible at reading social cues, certain fabrics really bother me or sometimes I can’t wear them (includes shirts with tags, I hate tags tbh) I have “safe” foods and it’s really hard for me try new things that don’t feel okay to try. I have these moments where if I’m in public and feel a lot of pressure or get worried I feel like everyone is looking at me and everything just kinda gets loud and overwhelming and I just want to be alone in quiet and have nobody around me and I do get really really excited at things that make me happy… sounds, colors, small things. Sometimes I fixate on a certain thing so much that it basically becomes all I’m focused on for however long and then it switches again. The one thing that really made me question though is when my best-friend (with autism) said that she also questions if I have it due to the fact that I told her that I feel like I read a book or watch a movie and I find a character I like a lot or relate to a lot and I basically become them until I find another character in the same way. Example: I watched the fault in our stars and I ended up changing my wardrobe/clothing looks to match hazels, I ate the same food they had in the movie and I picked up on her mannerisms. I also explained that I never really feel like myself I feel like I’m like… a “void” and I become what I see or what others want me to be sometimes. Like when you’re playing a video game and you’re on character select and going back and forth with the little arrows choosing between outfits or characters I feel like that. I always have my whole life. Like I’m just a body and I don’t really know “who I am”. Also sometimes when people are talking to me I have to remind myself to listen to them. Like they could be right infront of me talking and my brain is like “they’re talking we need to focus on listening to them” but I get so focused on trying to focus on listening to them that it ends up being that I don’t really fully hear what they’re saying. This has caused a lot of problems for me and I’m trying really hard to be better at social cues and listening more but it’s so hard. My boyfriend gets mad because I have to be told specifically each step of what to do sometimes. Like the other night I was frying chicken and I didn’t know really how to do everything correctly (because of the household I grew up in I was basically raised on fast food so I don’t really know how to cook a lot) so he’s telling me to turn the burner on and put the chicken in but I needed to know exactly what to put it on, how to position it, how long to wait etc. this happens a lot he’ll tell me to do something but I need it broken down into steps (he hates that). Also I have to write lists for everything. This is what my typical list for my day would look like: 10:00 AM : clean my room 10:30 AM: take a shower (Brush teeth, use *certain facial wash* Etc. And if I don’t stick to the exact times I set with everything I do it frustrates me sometimes. I’ve been called really high maintenance because of these issues and after looking into some of my favorite creators who happen to be autistic and experience the same things it’s made me start to question if I am. I don’t like questioning it though because I already feel like people think I fake my OCD and other mental health disorders I don’t want them to think I’m faking something else or just want attention but I also really want answers. I don’t know what to do and I honestly want some advice. I was never diagnosed with autism and don’t think anyone ever thought I had it as a kid. I know I was antisocial as a kid and the doctors and therapists struggled to get me to interact with other kids and they said I had early signs of depression and anxiety but that’s all I’ve ever gotten…. Does anyone here have autism or have any advice that could help in this situation? Am I a bad person for thinking I might have it? (If you read this far thank you)

The worst thing about harm OCD is I don't even want to be around my cat. I love her so much, I would do anything for her, but my legs are constantly buzzing, feeling like I'm going to step on her - and worse, like I want to. I hate it. I live in a 400 sq ft or less apartment and am triggered basically 24/7 because she is always there. Before this relapse, her always being in sight was my favorite thing ever. I'm so tired.

I am brand new to this app. I've been seeing a therapist for a while, but not one that specializes in OCD. I'm having a hard time recognizing when a thought about something being contaminated is just an OCD thought, and when it is rational. I mean, germs exist - so a thing can be contaminated with XYZ. I don't know when I'm over estimating how easily things are "spreading" (which because I have a diagnoses, must be an OCD thing) and when I don't need to worry about something anymore. I'm getting caught in loops with rituals until I satisfy the anxiety or I have been at it for too long to continue. Does anyone have tips for recognizing when something is indeed an OCD thought rather than an rational concern?

there’s a thing i do, and it’s repeating mantras to myself like “i’m a good person” or “i would never do that” or “i am never going to hurt anybody” and i just wanna know if those would be considered compulsions? if so, how do i stop? 😣

I am working on overcoming one of my themes, and one of the things I have to tell myself is that no matter what I do (compulsions, etc) I can’t stop something bad from happening to me. I almost feel like I am grieving the loss of “control” / “safety” that my OCD has falsely provided me with all this time.

This is really getting out of hand for me personally. I just read online ( and i didnt even try to read it just popped up and was right in my face). But i read that an American Idol alum (32 years old) died of a heart attack. This is now like the 10th story i have read about younger people having heart attacks or cardiac arrests. I literally cannot take it much more. What is going on? And of course everybody is saying vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. As much as i don’t want to believe its from the vaccine im starting too. How do you explain all these young people having heart problems? And im one of these young people who is vaccinated. Im freaking out and i dont know what to do. Like i truly don’t know what to do. How can i live my life happily when im on edge everytime i feel a heart palpitation? Im so scared. Im so numb. Any advice would be great. I also just would like some input on if anyone thinks these things are happening from the vaccine or Covid itself? I know that Covid has really bad lifelong effects so maybe that could explain some things? I don’t know either way i don’t know what to do.

ocd is all over the place, one day its about a next day about b the day after that in the morning its about c and afternoon back to a. Its extremely exhausting, and more and more i find it difficult to motivate myself. Where in the past i could draw motivation from thinking about my kids and wife. I now get a more Flat response to it. Which in turn gets me anxious again. Why do i not feel motivated by thinking about my loved ones or other positive stuff? With every new obsession ot feels like the ocd takes another bit of my strength and motivation away. I feel as if a couple of years ago i was better at coping with my ocd then i am now many therapies later and medicine. Its as if im losing that inner warrior bit by bit, and i feel more vulnerable by every obsession that comes around.

I am afraid to take a medication because there is a small chance of a serious side effect and an even smaller chance that it could become fatal. I don’t know how to “accept” the risk that taking this medicine could literally kill me. I am bombarded with intrusive thoughts about it all day and while I am sleeping about me taking it, getting the side effect, ending up in the hospital, regretting my decision and not listening to my OCD and dying. But the alternative to not taking the medicine is also bad, because if I don’t take it I could get sick and also die. I feel like I am being tortured. How do I overcome this? I’ve had lots of different bouts of OCD but never with something that had documented evidence (people dying from side effects) backing up my fears.

So I’ve been getting treatment for about 3 months now and it’s been slowly starting to work I think and days are slowly getting easier. There are still plenty of bad days and days where I just feel completely defeated but I’m gradually learning how to deal with these emotions. Part of me is really relieved and excited as OCD was absolutely awful and the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It held me back from so many things and I felt so trapped and I never imagined I’d be in so much agonising discomfort everyday. However part of me is also really uneasy as OCD is what I’ve known for so many years and I don’t know life without it. It’s almost unsettling integrating back into the ‘normal’ way of life as part of me doesn’t know where to start and I feel like I lack foundation if that makes sense as I have been unable to do so much for so long. I’m also finishing school soon which makes things even harder as I don’t know what comes next, or who or what I’ll become and do with my life. I guess my question is, is life beyond OCD worth it and is it worth climbing out of this hell hole? I also know that I’ll probably always have OCD and there may always be bad days but it’s just becoming less disabling and time consuming which is so exciting but sort of terrifying at the same time. I also am worried that I’ll live a boring and miserable life because at least dealing with OCD left me with something and made life more interesting, much more painful but It almost became my identity. But I guess there has to be something more beyond this life I’m living. Sorry this is long.

I am a few weeks deep in my hardest exposure & it’s been the hardest thing I have ever done. Here it is after midnight, early Wednesday morning, my daughters birthday, & I am up during the night again, not sleeping well again. Hurting physically again, ocd causing my thoughts to keep going even while I’m trying to sleep. I don’t know if this is all due to my ocd & this hard exposure, or if it is due to a health issue & possibly a medicine needs increased. I’m not going to try to figure this out. I’m going to keep trying so hard to allow The thoughts, the feelings & the emotions to just be here without giving in to the compulsions that I want so badly to do to alleviate the distress I am feeling. The reassurance that I want that I did the right thing, made the right decision. Learning to trust oneself is a hard thing. I could give in to what my ocd wants me to believe. That I can’t handle feeling this way. But I have already lived this way for way too long because I didn’t know what I didn’t know, & I know what this way is like, I know how it feels & I know how miserable it is. I don’t want that anymore. So I will keep on keeping on. I won’t give in to what my ocd wants me to do. I will keep using my skills & trying over & over as many times as it takes for my brain to see that I can withstand the discomfort that my ocd thoughts, feelings & emotions bring. I want this & I can do it. Not perfectly. It will never be perfectly. But it can be a way that works for me. A way where I have compassion for myself as I work on my ocd. It can be a way where I don’t beat myself up for every little perceived way that I see as me failing. Just because I have always been so hard On myself doesn’t mean that I have to keep doing that. It takes a lot of hard work & commitment to the process. But I can & will get there. As long as I never give up. I believe this. So if you are knee deep in your most difficult fears believe this, it won’t always be this hard. It just is right now because you are learning how to undo years of what ocd has told you to fear. The things ocd has told you you cannot do. Ocd lies! You can. It take time, but you can. Keep trying over & over, no matter how many times it takes & never give up.