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Ive given into my anxiety and triggers so many times today.. I feel so weak, ashamed, and like I’ll never get better

Hey guys, im new to the community my name is haidar. So i been attracted to this boy in my class for the past month. My minds been so stressed out because im not 100% certain about my sexuality. Sometimes i kind of like girls but im mostly towards men. I fear that im gonna lead this boy on and im not even 100% of my sexuality. Does anybody else relate?

I am struggling bad tonight. My partner focused ROCD is flaring up so bad. I get very triggered when my husband shaves his beard (and he has to because he’s in the military ) because he has a bit of a double chin, not because he’s overweight but because he has a bit of an overbite/ overjet, which predisposes him to make it look like he has a double chin. I am hyper fixating on it so much and it’s making me so sad and bitter. I hate this. I’ve been looking at old pictures (partly to remind myself of when he had a beard, which is my preferred look). It gives me both relief (because I know he can always grow out his beard when he gets out of the military) and partly it gives me stress (because that’s not how he looks right now). This hyperfixation is making me feel like I’m not attracted to him and I’m getting so depressed over it. What do I do? It’s not like I can will myself to be more attracted to him in this moment. I know he’s a very attractive man and a lot of women would kill to be with him, but I can’t get this out of my head. 🥺

i completed my 15 minute free call and got scheduled with a therapist next week. i’m so afraid i won’t be able to hold out until then, that my thoughts will continue eating away at me and something bad will occur. i don’t know how long i can take it without having someone to talk to or give me a diagnosis. i’m afraid to tell my parents or close cousin about this topic, so i really have no one right now. thoughts?

Hello. So for the past month and a half i’d say, i have been feeling really depressed and anxious especially about my relationship. Before this started me and my boyfriend were fighting a lot but i still looked at him like the world stopped spinning. One night after an argument, me and him were kinda just sitting around and i got this feeling of “do i have feelings for him anymore” ever since that night i haven’t been able to completely shake this feeling. I still enjoy his company and love when he texts me and i love cuddling and all that stuff. I have realized more things/toxic traits i had to work on with this feeling of anxiety which is a good outcome. I have thought about breaks or breaking up but deep down i felt like that wouldn’t solve anything. I could be having a great time and think only positive thoughts about life and my relationship and then all of the sudden think “do i like him” “is this real or fake love” “is being single better” but in reality i want to be with him and see myself with him even though lately i feel like it’s hard to see the future ever since that night. I keep trying to get a therapist but the wait lists are extremely long. I just really need some advice or someone tell me how to fix this and how to become me again because it’s really starting to take over my life and i feel like a totally different person.

At some point withouth anxiety did you "came out" as your fear sexual orientation did any of you felt some sort of peace? Like it was true and you were ok with it, and not just for a second, like it lastes some minutes at least. I fear being gay but once I came out as bi and now that memory it's comming back to me (I don't wanna be bi either)

My ex & I have slowly become more serious and had a talk about how we can handle conflicts better. My guilt is starting to come up again about things from the past. I mean we didn’t officially date til end of 2020-2021 and then broke up in the beginning of 2022 due to my ocd bringing up every single thing I have lied about in our past and he got mad b/c I lied so he left me for being dishonest. Well, I remember small things I did when we were not together AT ALL and he once told me if there was anything else he should know I should tell him and I can’t tell what he needs to know and doesn’t need to know? I already confessed TOO MUCH. I mean so damn much. And all of the confessions were when we didn’t even date officially & he had done a lot of stuff too. It’s the details that my ocd is latching onto and feeling the need to tell him. Like for example, the time I attempted to make an onlyfans and gave up after an hour cuz I didn’t wanna risk it (and thank god I didn’t do it I would have regretted it badly) or the time I broke into a pool with a couple of guys we know and my friend and went “skinny dipping” I just was in my underwear and bra. It’s like do I need to tell him all this info? PROBABLY NOT. His whole thing with me too is he won’t tell me stuff b/c he knows it’ll hurt me so it’s best to just know yeah stuff has happened but we don’t do that anymore so let’s let it go. YES. That’s what I want! A normal brain would think that & that’s what I would think. But my ocd is itching to tell him every damn thing so that way he can fully determine if I’m worthy enough. ITS FUCKING MAKING ME SAD. I hate it. I just want to keep things for myself and I just ducking can’t. And I have not mastered this confessing compulsion at all. I’ve resisted with my bestfriend who I used to literally steal clothes from when we were like 13 but I can’t help but confess every other thing. It makes me so anxious to the point that I can’t function unless I spill my guts. And then I lose everything by doing so. Ugh idk what to do.

I get intrusive thoughts about harming my daughter. I’ll get an intrusive thought and then I’m my head I’ll say to myself “I don’t want to hurt her” repeating until I feel better. Well “what if I want to hurt her “ popped into my head and now I’m second guessing myself. I have doubt. I know if it came down to it I’d never hurt my baby but the fact that I doubted it is like replaying in my head. I’m scared. I want to cry. I feel like I want to turn to god and ask for help but I’m scared to cause that could mean I’m being delusional. I’ve never been super religious but grew up with a religious family so now that I want to turn to god I’m like am I being delusional? Is this my OCD? I know I’m not supposed to ask for reassurance but I need to know if I’m going crazy or something. My heart hurts. My brain is tired. And I’m scared.

I know groinal responses usually happen with intrusive thoughts and everything. But I’ve gotten them to things that I hear and they weren’t sexual at all and that makes me worry that I am what I fear :/

I just got in a very heated argument with my controlling grandmother, and I’ll admit I acted like an absolute @ssh0le. I’ve been struggling with obsessive thoughts way heavier than usual the past few days and after the argument, I went upstairs feeling some guilt when suddenly I started obsessing over God taking something from me because of it. I then got a random thought I guess I’ve confused as my own… I thought “God take my abilities” and that’s literally the LAST thing I’d ever want. That was where my ocd started getting bad was back when I started thinking he would take from me. Now I fear that because I acted like that with my grandmother, and then came upstairs and thought “You can take my abilities” that He will. I don’t see a way out of this one, atleast not tonight

This case has convinced me because of my ocd, I am unworthy of motherhood. I have harm ocd so how bad would my PP ocd be? It’s honestly my biggest fear to ever hurt someone it makes me sick to think about. I have been a wreck all night and just want to cry. My fiancé wants a child. So do I. But how do I tell him I don’t think I can do it now. My advice is not to get on Tik tok if this story triggers you bc it’s flooded with videos. I feel hopeless about this and it’s even triggered my harm ocd in general about anyone and anything right now. Ugh!!! Hugs to anyone else who is struggling. & to moms with OCD, I want you to know that you are warriors and my BIGGEST hope and inspiration. Maybe OCD will take motherhood from me, but maybe it won’t. I don’t know. I’m a mess and I feel like no one understands 🥹

So I’ve been stressing for days about this age gap between me and this boy I met. I’m 21 fm and he’s an 18 m and we’ve just been casually speaking for weeks now. He had a job didn’t go to uni so took a gap year. He’s so sweet and honestly nicer than half the guys older than me I’ve spoken to even 20 they’re just rude as fuck. But I started googling it to find out if it was weird or not and I came across this TikTok that said it’s fucked up and everyone in the comments easy saying how it’s disgusting and now I feel really weird and bad about it. We’re meant to be going on a date tomorrow and now I feel all weird about it. Is the age gap weird? It’s not paedophilic, but apparently it’s like a sup type or something for someone older to go for someone younger and I’m like wtf does that mean? Like I don’t purposely go for younger guys, it just so happens I vibe well with him and he’s really sweet. But now I feel super fucking werid about it, even though we’re both adults like I would never go for someone younger and I’m only growing older so again I wouldn’t go for anyone way younger than me at this age. Technically it’s only a 2 year age gap so idk what to do

Since I was in high school, I’ve always had the same thought being in a classroom setting, sometimes even in big public places such as the mall and movies theatre as well. That thought is the thought of a shooter coming in and killing me or everyone around me. I sometimes ever worry about this in the privacy of my own room at night and it has caused intense insomnia, even to the point where as I am catching my self falling asleep I jolt up and gasp for air. I am now at college and whenever I’m in my class room I’m constantly looking out the doors and out the windows. When I get off the elevator in my building I have this image of someone pointing a gun in my face as a get off and killing me. This fear used to only mostly be in big public spaces, but even when Im at home or in my dorm at college I am convinced something tragic and horrible is going to happen to me. I watch way too much news, and youtube, and tik tok and I feel like all of the morbid and horrible things I see online just triggers my OCD and anxiety more. Im not sure how to combat this exactly, especially since I have only seriously been obsessing over it for a few weeks.

Hey guys please comment if you can give me some advice. Not really OCD related just a life problem. I’m 19 and a content creator. I do this for a living however, recently I keep comparing my views and everything to other creators. I do the same thing they do and it doesn’t seem to work for me. I am super jealous of them and feel not worthy. Not sure why it’s not working for me. Don’t know what to do /: I’ve switched up my content so much and everything about my content gets me angry! I don’t know what to do🥲

Two years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. My OCD was worse than ever, and I was admitted to an OCD and Trauma unit. The therapists told me to stay away from my fiancé at the time. Fast forward, he still reaches out from time to time, altho he is engaged to the lady he cheated on me with to always to put me down, and brag about himself. He just texted his life is so much better with his new fiancé and she is the love of his life. Now my anxiety is thru the roof. Can someone really contribute to exacerbated symptoms? He also said my new cat is so much cuter and sweeter than yours. Wt?

I feel like for as long as I can remember, my intrusive thoughts are in the form of questions. This morning, I couldn’t help but think “What do I want out of my life?””Do I want to be in a relationship with this person?””Am I making the right choices?” With every decision I make, I worry about other options, I feel like I am constantly worrying about what if this happens, what if I didn’t do that. I work with my therapist who encourages that I have issues with judgement. Because of this, I think I can never be 100% confident or assuring in myself or anything I do

Please I need help I want to be sure if this is real ocd, I had a dream 8 months ago about two gay guys having sex after that night my life changed I felt like I have turn gay and that I was not attracted to women any more this made me feel so uncomfortable and depressed I avoided hanging out with my male friends because I think maybe I will feel something down there. I even avoided watching tv and movies because I feel like I will get attracted to the characters, everyday I kept on analyzing checking my past if I had any experience before checking my past relationships asking myself questions. Even in my sleep I think what if I’m gay and I have been denied what if this is really who I am I have never questioned this before just after that dream I felt like the dream meant something to me im even afraid to call my friends because I think maybe I will feel something down there. Normal when I’m a call with my girlfriend or any girl I always feel something big down there but ever since this happened I don’t, I even try as much not to think of any sexual fantasy I had with my girlfriend or other girls because I feel like an image will just pop up. And sometimes it feels like anything I have an intrusive thought I kind feel something down there but I keep questioning do I like this. Why I’m I getting this if it doesn’t mean anything. Before that dream my life was normal I like girls a lot and I always think of girls but after that dream it’s hard to control my thoughts I get feelings I don’t even understand.I always check to see if something is going on down there even in public even at home even when I’m sleep🤦‍♂️I stopped a lot of things just because I don’t understand myself I try as much not to dream out it but it keeps coming. Now its telling me the thoughts are okay I feel comfortable with it on like before and it’s confusing me now i seriously need help please I want to know if it’s ocd or not google has done more harm than good 🤦‍♂️

I am not sure if i actually have ocd or if i’m just questioning my sexuality at this point. it feels like there is no difference. i seem to obsess about this every second of the day, but i know that when someone is questioning they think about it a lot too. i don’t know what to do!

I'm curious if anyone experiences OCD how I do. Somedays I barely have any intrusive thoughts and if I do, they cause me minimal anxiety. Other days I'm so anxious and tortured by my thoughts I feel I can't go on. I've gone months with constant turmoil and months without. Anyone else?

Hi, i'm here again after a while. Things went better for me; i started doing better with therapy; erp and life improvements. Not everything is perfect or good in my life tho; and lately; even with my improved communication skills days became harder. (Not even remotely close to the"deep low" of before tho). Anyways, today i founded myself doubting and doing compulsions around negative feelings. I already felt bad in thoose months obv; but i were able to manage it. Today; i gave up to complulsion and doubting; without even recognising it at first. One doubt lead to another; and unpleasant feelings made me overchecking and overthinking, compulsions made me even worried. My brain told me "you lost all your progress; you may have achieved nothing. You are starting to feel bad as before; everything will start again." I lost a lot in the past; from health to important relationship because of that. I started to be FUCKING TRIGGERED ngl. And that, my friends, that is the moment when i realized: this is a clearly ocd pattern. So now; after a deep breath, i want to try to go through it together; like old times. That is what i did. After the realization, i was scared my brain was right. But understanding it is ocd, It remembered me that i know how to manage it, even at the worst times. So here's 2 things i told me. 1) i must feel proud because i was able to recognise what was happening, it's not easy. 2) "you know ocd healing is a rollercoaster. It's kind of impossible to get complitely rid of it; but once you manage it it won't bother you. You know how to deal with it. Now that you were able to recognise what is happening; you can start to manage the situation in a healthy way." After that, i passed the next five minutes crying and answering every doubt "maybe yes; maybe no". It was really frustrating but after some times my mind started finally to clear up from all the mental compulsion. I EMBRACED UNCERTAINTY. i started tiding up my room; to keep me occupied and to feel proud of myself for doing something useful. I also told myself: "I know bad moments can happen; it's a rollercoaster. I am completely right to feel whatever i feel, i don't control it. Ocd can be really subsidious some times. It's okay i feel this emotion. I know what to do. I should sit with this bad feeling and FEEL it." I VALIDATED MY EMOTIONS. i didn't feel worried about feeling them; after. Just that; helped me getting ot of that "triggered state". I don't feel that rock on my chest; that explosion from inside anymore. Does that means my head is completely free from unpleasant ocd doubts? no absolutely, but i can deal with them, maybe they will be gone tomorrow, maybe they will stay. Does that means that i am free of compulsion? Nope, but i can stop them. Things are already better since an hour ago. Maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe not. Maybe in some days; when (and if) my mind will be more peaceful; i will be able to work on myself and find some painful event that teiggered me! Hopefully i will be able to work on it, healing another part of myself. I would be really happy. For now; i am happy i can share this with you. Thanks✨