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Ladies only: Has anyone with OCD had a hysterectomy? Do your symptoms feel any different after.

so i’m straight, but one thing that’s always bothered me was i was never the type to look at a guy and automatically think dirty thoughts about them like some girls do i would think they’re good looking and move on. but lately i have been looking at guys and think ways i never have before because i don’t really care for sex but this time i actually think about it when i find someone attractive and it started to worry me because i was like i never thought that much sexually before so why am i now? and then i get thoughts in my head that say why are you worried aren’t you straight why are you worried to think sexual about guys? and it’s the anxiety about the fact that i actually think dirty thoughts when i see a cute guy and before i never would and then hocd coming in to play making me wonder that i shouldn’t be anxious if i was always straight but it’s not that i get anxious because i never thought that sexually before but ocd makes me think i’m worried about liking a guy but that’s not true sorry if it’s a bit confusing

i’ve done a good job ab not letting thoughts take over, but i’m trying to learn to not have to mentally assure myself of that thought, i just want to think more free, what recommendations are there to kind of rewire myself to not consciously have a thought to push aside and can focus on the task at hand

I have been dealing with pure ocd since October and I have been at a really low spot. I am a male and I have always been straight and only liked women. One time while I was watching porn I felt myself get aroused when the male was pulling down his pants. I got really anxious and was ruminating on what that this means. Does this mean I am gay or bisexual? This went on for a while. One day I wrote down on a piece of paper I just have to accept being gay and the anxiety and the pressure in my head got so much relief and I felt so much better. This feeling lasted for a little bit and then the anxiety picked back up again. I feel like most of the time I am not ruminating on am I gay? I just feel like I am so conscious of being anxious and I want that feeling to go away sometimes. Sometimes this feeling goes away on its own and I do not do anything to make it go away. However once I realize that I am thinking again the anxiety picks back up. It’s like I have a fear of being conscious of thought and I don’t know why that scares me so much. A lot of the times I don’t feel like I am thinking about anything I just feel like my brain is clogged and stuck. When the anxiety gets really bad sometimes I say In my mind I just have to accept being gay and the anxiety goes away. This is confusing because I wasn’t ruminating about being gay, it’s just when I tell myself that the anxiety goes away. This anxiety is almost 24/7 and there is not really a thought that sparks my anxiety it’s like i am just so aware of being anxious. My therapist tells me I have to stop ruminating but once I become conscious of thought I have no idea how to become unconscious of thought if that makes sense and it drives me crazy. Does anyone relate? And does anyone have any suggestions?

I am in constant turmoil -reviewing, over analyzing and repeating my childhood up to teenage years. It’s like my brain is constantly replaying scenes to find every mistake I’ve ever made and I don’t even know what’s true anymore. I have reoccurring thoughts that I’ve harmed s younger sibling and even had convinced myself that I had murdered in uncle who had passed two towns away before I could even drive. I confessed to these things to my mother who assured me these things have never happened and I convince myself for short periods of time that she’s right, but then they come back. The thoughts make me physically Ill thinking about them. My memories feel jumbled and I’m no longer sure of my self and who I am.

Have anyone of you experienced the fear of losing the loved ones ( the fear of losing someone you truly love ) ? If anyone of you has obsessive compulsive disorder OCD and has experienced this fear, could you please explain to me how does it feel like if you don't mind ? Recently i have been only thinking about my mother, while ago i dreamed that my oldest sister died, in the dream i was crying really really hard, i was literally crying my heart out, i felt every single emotion, every single feeling like it was all real happening in my real life for the point that i woke up crying and kept crying for hours, then i dreamed that my oldest brother died, after that dream i dreamed that my middle sister died and i was really sad in the both dreams, then i strated only thinking about my mother's death, not about when she will die or how she will die or where, I don't think about any of these things, i don't ask myself any of these questions because simply they're not like that important to me but i do think about the idea that she will be gone one day, gone forever! And i will never ever see her again, kiss her again, hug her again, laugh with her again, cry on her shoulder again ... That i will never ever see her again, not for only one more time no matter what! Recently i have been only thinking about this, and this intrusive thought keeps telling me that if my mother died, I'll go crazy, I'll go insane, I'll lose my mind, my control, myself and everything! The emotions and the feelings which i feel are too strong, stronger than my ability to stop my mind from overthinking, to stop myself from crying, to stop my body from shaking even my tongue shakes and it scares me in every single time... I know I'm not going crazy but what if i am wrong? What if my mother died and my grief made me crazy? Imagine that I'm truly thinking about dropping off university so i could spend every single moment, every single second with her before her death ! Anyone can relate?

POCD, adults only And the answer to that is pornography. I hate that I have to keep talking about it but I think getting it off my chest would help me a little bit. I'm still trying to get away from p in general and before this relapse I went a week without it. I felt really good but urges overwhelmed me and I found myself disappointed. But what makes me more disappointed is the disgusting suspicious stuff that seems to come up so easily when I do search for videos I want to watch. My searches never have anything to do with the bad stuff that I get and YouTube along with DuckDuckGo seem to always find some heinous shit around every corner. I saw a thumbnail of a video that sexualized a character with a mod who is clearly underaged and I'm just saying to myseld why the actual fuck would you upload that to a public site for people to see. That left me disgusted and straight up mad. I hate that I keep running into stuff like this and it's most likely the cause for my POCD and intrusive thoughts surrounding this matter. I just hate how I could be looking up an attractive adult woman I like only to find the complete opposite: An underaged character that somehow is caught up in the bunch. Like, that shit is gross and I try to avoid that stuff as best as I can but somehow it just seems to crawl out when I don't expect it. It's disgusting. This is mainly why I wanted to quit watching this stuff in the first place and I hope one day I'll just leave it for the rest of my days. I've seen other posts about this happening to people on other sites and in POCD forums and it's really sick. I feel bad for people struggling with this stuff in similar ways than I am. I hope no one else will have to go through it either.

I have ocd rituals everytime I take a shower. Sometimes takes me about 2 hours to get out of bathroom. I have been working with a counselor which says to set a timer for 45 mins and try to finish everything in that time frame and get out. I still find that I am irritated or moody if I don’t complete them I have no idea why. Should I try to cut down on my time in the shower/ bathroom?

I just got diagnosed with OCD and anxiety today and prescribed Prozac. I’m feeling happy I’m finally getting help but a little cautious about moving forward with medications but I think it’s very necessary for me.

My Harm OCD is out of control. I’m trying so hard to keep living my life, but it’s scaring me even more. It’s starting to feel more real. It’s feeling like I’m right on the edge of acting on my thoughts and that I actually want to do it. It feels like this is never going to go away and I’m now this person who is going to harm someone. I’m at work because I’m supposed to keep living my life and not do compulsions. But not doing them is terrifying me. I feel like a complete monster and I don’t know what to do.

Me and my partner are in an ldr relationship for 4 months now, and I’m the type who has trust issues. My partner is adamant that one of his most important foundation in our relationship is trust. I am trying, yet I keep recalling back to when we were still friends and he told me this story about how he got entangled with a hook up, specifically he slept with a girl casually and then the next day- he was arriving at the same girl’s friend’s house. Not knowing they were friends, so when she asked where he was- he says at a friend’s (referring to his guy’s). The reason she knew he was lying cause she checked his Snapmap. I did a compulsion a few days earlier as well, looking how to know if my partner is loyal. One of those quora posts mentioned “if your partner hasn’t given you any reason to not trust him, then he’s loyal” I keep rethinking back to my partner’s story. I keep pondering if hes out there rn with another girl, and unlike before- he has been more busy than the usual. Which I tend to nitpick more now. We have done a lot of arguments and disagreements cause of my trust issues, I’m still on edge whenever he goes out with friends and family and we won’t chat for a lot of hours.

I don’t have body odor (genitalia), but I had an incident when I was 19 and was on my period. I waited too long to change my napkin and I got a whiff of my scent. It gave me the OCD I have today. I’m 54 and 10yrs over with periods, and just goes to show how the brain can be your worst enemy. You see, I know I don’t smell, and I don’t spend much time showering or laundering, but when I’m public, I think people think, that I think that I can smell myself. Pretty much am fearful that I give off the vibe that I smell. It is Sooooo twisted. I bet most people can’t even understand this. I think “they” are looking at me and judging me and can tell that I am not comfortable with my nether regions. It’s crazy even typing this out. I don’t like crouching, sitting cross legged and other various positions that send me into BIG Time ANXIETY. I can’t think, I sweat, my heart races, I feel like the world is saying “You are so weird. What’s wrong with you. Ewwww!” I did some ERP for a few months, but then I’m fine for a while and then BOOM it comes back. I’m uncomfortable with my body I suppose. And my brain keeps looping on that day when I was 19. Just had to tell my embarrassing story in case someone else feels embarrassed as well. I’m trying to sit with it, haha, sit with it really. But if anyone has something similar to my type of OCD, I’d appreciate your opinions or experience or just acknowledgement. No need for detail if you don’t want to share. Thanks everyone. ❤️

The only friend I had left who was supportive and there for me. He always talked to me and listened to my anxieties about my ex. My relationship ended 1.5 ago and I can’t stop the obsessions and anxiety. My friend didn’t understand ROCD or OCD- I never tried to explain because i just didn’t think he would understand. Maybe I should have tried because he was the only one who would still talk to me about it. Until tonight…I was really upset about a particular anxiety about my ex and I told him about it. He kind of snapped and lost patience. He told me I was obsessed with my ex and that I was stuck and that I was going to stay stuck forever while he moves on. He told me basically everything that I was terrified was true and would have panic attacks about. Then he said he was “done trying to help me” and needed space. That was it. I can’t imagine our friendship can ever get back to a healthy place after this. And the thing is, I know without knowing about how OCD can affect you, from the outside looking in, I DO seem obsessed with him. I am obsessed- just not in the ways it looks like 😅 I was so careful not to talk too much to anyone about it and yet still it ruined another friendship And of course, now I’m sick with anxiety that everything he said was true. I lost a friend because of my obsessions with my ex. And that makes me even more anxious that my ex was all wrong for me. I think I’m spiraling. I’m just really upset. I lost my best friend over a stupid fight because of my STUPID ANXIETY. Fuck this.

Ive given into my anxiety and triggers so many times today.. I feel so weak, ashamed, and like I’ll never get better

Hey guys, im new to the community my name is haidar. So i been attracted to this boy in my class for the past month. My minds been so stressed out because im not 100% certain about my sexuality. Sometimes i kind of like girls but im mostly towards men. I fear that im gonna lead this boy on and im not even 100% of my sexuality. Does anybody else relate?

I am struggling bad tonight. My partner focused ROCD is flaring up so bad. I get very triggered when my husband shaves his beard (and he has to because he’s in the military ) because he has a bit of a double chin, not because he’s overweight but because he has a bit of an overbite/ overjet, which predisposes him to make it look like he has a double chin. I am hyper fixating on it so much and it’s making me so sad and bitter. I hate this. I’ve been looking at old pictures (partly to remind myself of when he had a beard, which is my preferred look). It gives me both relief (because I know he can always grow out his beard when he gets out of the military) and partly it gives me stress (because that’s not how he looks right now). This hyperfixation is making me feel like I’m not attracted to him and I’m getting so depressed over it. What do I do? It’s not like I can will myself to be more attracted to him in this moment. I know he’s a very attractive man and a lot of women would kill to be with him, but I can’t get this out of my head. 🥺

i completed my 15 minute free call and got scheduled with a therapist next week. i’m so afraid i won’t be able to hold out until then, that my thoughts will continue eating away at me and something bad will occur. i don’t know how long i can take it without having someone to talk to or give me a diagnosis. i’m afraid to tell my parents or close cousin about this topic, so i really have no one right now. thoughts?

Hello. So for the past month and a half i’d say, i have been feeling really depressed and anxious especially about my relationship. Before this started me and my boyfriend were fighting a lot but i still looked at him like the world stopped spinning. One night after an argument, me and him were kinda just sitting around and i got this feeling of “do i have feelings for him anymore” ever since that night i haven’t been able to completely shake this feeling. I still enjoy his company and love when he texts me and i love cuddling and all that stuff. I have realized more things/toxic traits i had to work on with this feeling of anxiety which is a good outcome. I have thought about breaks or breaking up but deep down i felt like that wouldn’t solve anything. I could be having a great time and think only positive thoughts about life and my relationship and then all of the sudden think “do i like him” “is this real or fake love” “is being single better” but in reality i want to be with him and see myself with him even though lately i feel like it’s hard to see the future ever since that night. I keep trying to get a therapist but the wait lists are extremely long. I just really need some advice or someone tell me how to fix this and how to become me again because it’s really starting to take over my life and i feel like a totally different person.

At some point withouth anxiety did you "came out" as your fear sexual orientation did any of you felt some sort of peace? Like it was true and you were ok with it, and not just for a second, like it lastes some minutes at least. I fear being gay but once I came out as bi and now that memory it's comming back to me (I don't wanna be bi either)

My ex & I have slowly become more serious and had a talk about how we can handle conflicts better. My guilt is starting to come up again about things from the past. I mean we didn’t officially date til end of 2020-2021 and then broke up in the beginning of 2022 due to my ocd bringing up every single thing I have lied about in our past and he got mad b/c I lied so he left me for being dishonest. Well, I remember small things I did when we were not together AT ALL and he once told me if there was anything else he should know I should tell him and I can’t tell what he needs to know and doesn’t need to know? I already confessed TOO MUCH. I mean so damn much. And all of the confessions were when we didn’t even date officially & he had done a lot of stuff too. It’s the details that my ocd is latching onto and feeling the need to tell him. Like for example, the time I attempted to make an onlyfans and gave up after an hour cuz I didn’t wanna risk it (and thank god I didn’t do it I would have regretted it badly) or the time I broke into a pool with a couple of guys we know and my friend and went “skinny dipping” I just was in my underwear and bra. It’s like do I need to tell him all this info? PROBABLY NOT. His whole thing with me too is he won’t tell me stuff b/c he knows it’ll hurt me so it’s best to just know yeah stuff has happened but we don’t do that anymore so let’s let it go. YES. That’s what I want! A normal brain would think that & that’s what I would think. But my ocd is itching to tell him every damn thing so that way he can fully determine if I’m worthy enough. ITS FUCKING MAKING ME SAD. I hate it. I just want to keep things for myself and I just ducking can’t. And I have not mastered this confessing compulsion at all. I’ve resisted with my bestfriend who I used to literally steal clothes from when we were like 13 but I can’t help but confess every other thing. It makes me so anxious to the point that I can’t function unless I spill my guts. And then I lose everything by doing so. Ugh idk what to do.