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I’m obsessing over every past bad decision or every stupid thing I did as a kid or teenager. I have this terrifying fear that mistakes are going to come back and haunt me and ruin my life. Anyone have any encouraging words?

Hello, does anyone ever get stuck in the same unwanted thoughts/memories, over & over again? What do you do to stop it? There is a stressful event from my past that happened about 8 years ago. It was a huge argument with work friends. I don’t think I ever totally got over it, but I eventually left that job & I had gotten past it for the most part. I had moved on with my life & had stopped thinking about it constantly. I have always been a very guilt ridden person, thinking I have done something wrong, over analyzing myself, thinking I should have handled things differently/better, thinking everything is always my fault in some way. I recently had a lot of stress come up in my life (normal life things) & I was just finding it hard to cope & I started obsessing (again as if I hadn’t obsessed enough at the time it happened) about this stressful event that happened 8 years ago. I think stressful things trigger my ocd. I have dealt with being a germaphobe & checking things (that doors are locked, coffee pot is off, etc). But now I think my ocd is that I have been thinking about this event from 8 years ago, nearly non-stop, feeling super guilty about it, thinking it was all my fault (when I don’t truly believe it was all my fault, there were many people involved & everyone was kind of in the wrong in different ways). I am also analyzing the way I dealt with it at that time & shaming myself for not being stronger & for allowing it to break me down the way it did. Then going back to trying to figure the whole event out again (after all these years) & why things happened the way they did. It was a very stressful & confusing event to begin with & I couldn’t figure it out then & I can’t now. But I feel like it’s also a big need for me to be accepted & loved. I care too much about what people think. But I also can’t stand the thought of hurting someone’s feelings & I think in this situation I did. But I apologized at that time for my part in the situation & the person accepted my apology, but I always obsess over if she actually did & I guess it’s part of my perfectionism ocd. Like I feel like I’m not allowed to make mistakes or like I’m not worthy of forgiveness or I’m a horrible person for making a mistake. But then I also felt very betrayed by another friend that was involved in this issue that was not honest about her part in this problem. So I took all that it mean it was all my fault & I was the problem. I don’t think it’s really fair, but I come down on myself so much about it & I simply cannot get it out of my head. I also struggle with how this event made me feel afterwards (like I was worthless, a horrible person, then I was so depressed & anxious because of it & that makes me feel guilty because it made me feel like I was a horrible mother to my children, etc., I just started spiraling.). The other people involved never took any accountability for how they acted in the situation. I really would have loved it we could have all gotten together & said exactly what happened & everyone took their own part in it (so that there would be no lies or blaming) & we could have healed from it. But instead I was the only one that apologized for my part in it & I didn’t speak for anyone else or blame anyone else because if they didn’t want to come forward to explain/apologize for their part in it I wasn’t going to make them. I made a mistake & I acted in a way that I’m not proud of, but I admitted it & apologized for it. So why should I have to live with this guilt forever & replaying it over & over again in my head. Thinking I’m a horrible person. I think about it when I get up to go to the bathroom during the night, I think about when I wake up, it lingers in my head all day. I have a very full life with a family & a great job, etc. so it makes me feel guilty like I’m not appreciative of what I have enough to stop this from taking away from my amazing family. My top priority in life is my family. They mean the world to me & I sometimes feel like a failure to them or if I really loved them, I wouldn’t let this bother me the way it does, like I care more about the what those people that were involved in this situation 8 years ago think of me. It’s so stupid because it couldn’t be further from the truth. I love my family more than anything. I’m so sorry for the super long post. I just needed to get some of this out of my head. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, please reply. Thank you.

Had for ocd for years about loyalty towards my gf would feel awful if I thought bad off my gf and thinking other girls r goood looking missing my ex ect but now I’m almost better and now don’t avoid looking at girls which I did for a year I find my self wanting to look at girls and get an overwhelming attraction feeling that I don’t get towards my gf? I find every girl attractive now and feel awful like I’m better off alone as I feel Numb a lot towards my gf but thY would be because of all the trauma towards her from ocd. Any one else struggling with this ? We have been together almost 24/7 for 2 years is this normal the lack of attraction ?

I think I want to leave Christianity. I can’t stand the mental pain and screaming of my head or God telling me everything I love and enjoy in my life is a sin. I can’t look at my friends who are LGBTQ+, Muslim, Jewish, atheist etc. without my head or God telling me they are going to hell. I can’t live in the fear of sin and I can’t listen to my music anymore, watch movies, spend time with my loving amazing husband without my God or OCD saying those things are wrong. I don’t want to believe my husband is spiritually wrong for me but I just feel like God won’t leave me alone until I do what he wants and he won’t let me even do ERP. Religion seems to make everything worse. It used to be a major core of my life. Please don’t tell me to pray about it either.

Does anyone feel that there are times when OCD is latching on to everything. Different themes of intrusive thoughts... It's like being allegric to everything. Everything worries me and scares me and I feel like I might go crazy. I keep thinking how will I get through the day tomorrow. Could this possibly get worse than it already is? Am I going to have a mental breakdown? I don't remember the last time I was able to actually feel relaxed.

I always worry I’ve accidentally cut someone off in traffic and caused a major accident that I didn’t see. I always feel like I’m on the verge of being arrested at any moment for having unwittingly harmed someone. Sometimes I’ll turn around, others I’ll look online for traffic accident reports. Other times it just won’t get out of my head, and I just try to remember every detail to quell the anxiety. Sometimes I worry it’s not OCD, it’s paranoia…budding psychosis. If you feel safe/comfy, would you share your similar experiences?

Even though my Real-Event theme has improved greatly from how it used to be 2 years ago (Yay to no more daily panic attacks!) I hate those periods of anxiety I still get some days. Everything will be going completely fine, and then boom!!! I start full-body shaking in the grocery store and have to leave. I’m glad that those windows of anxiety are reduced to only 1-4 hours and NOT full months anymore, but still sucks when they pop up. Blehhhh.

My anxiety is often triggered by spiritual tasks I feel I HAVE to do. I genuinely believe that my spiritual routine is a result of punishment based fear of God. This is not something my faith endorses but nonetheless is something that serves as a foundation of my belief. I believe it stems from a period of time when I was a teenager and committed acts I eventually came to realize would result in excommunication which spurred me to change my ways. What specific action can I take to change my thinking without compromising my religious tenets?

Hi, i haven’t been diagnosed with OCD yet but due to my obsessive googling i’m pretty sure i have it. i have strong feelings of guilt/shame over things and need constant reassurance of them or feel the need to tell others. the latest one is absolutely driving me insane and making me feel sick, i can barely eat. about maybe a year ago i came across a tik tok of some woman describing how she was raped by her step dad at 8 years old and how she liked it. she would share details of her stories and i guess this would intrigue me. i’ve always had issues with orgasm/finishing and when my then boyfriend would give me oral i would think of that woman (then a child) and her stepdad having sex and it would help me finish. this is making me feel like the worst person on earth and i feel sick to my stomach. i would NEVER touch or hurt a child but why would i ever think this. i promise i wouldn’t hurt a fly. it’s sickening and my stomach is in knots. i can’t get over this and it consumes my mind constantly the fact that i’ve thought these things. i feel like a horrible person and i can’t tell anyone what im going through so i feel so stuck

I'm feeling so upset today because OCD keeps stealing my joy and my peace. When I'm having a good moment or good day, I feel like there's only a short time before the what ifs start to throw me off. I just want to be happy

I’m so tired of thinking and thinking and finding new reasons to worry and new old memories to overthink and obsess about and moralize, it’s so exhausting and scary and it makes me distrust everyone around me and even myself. It’s like I everything and everyone needs to be questioned and interrogated and put into a good or bad bucket. I’m just so tired I don’t want to think anymore :( I want to turn my brain off.

I am a mom struggling with harm ocd and really nad instrusive thoughts and I was doing so much better but came across the article about the mom killing her 3 children and learned she had phycosis I was diagnosed with ocd when i was 14 i am currently 30 and now im thinking this harm ocd and intrusive thoughts can lead to phycosis im afraid of not being myself and losing it. Anyone outfhere know what the difference between phycosis and ocd is?

I have OCD and I’m currently having this fear that I’m getting too old to find a husband and have children. I’m almost 33 years old and don’t even have a boyfriend. It’s so depressing.

Can someone please explain false memories related to OCD? I feel like I have had these but have never realized it’s related to OCD

I just started Exposure and Response prevention teraphy due to my OCD getting worsed as time pass by and I would like to ask question to someone who has gone throught his process already.

I’m meeting with my therapist Monday and I’m really afraid that she’ll tell me to break up with my partner because of my thoughts. I’m afraid of these thoughts never going away and this feeling of anxiety coming. I just can’t seem to feel happy in my relationship due to my intrusive thoughts.

I get hungry, but even the food I love to eat feels like I’m tired of the taste after one bite. I look in the mirror and I don’t look like how I do in my head. I forget what I was doing so easily. I don’t think I feel connected to anyone. I know I love them and myself. But something doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m in a dream. I feel like my life is passing by and I’m not actually living it. I get irritated by everyone around me and then I feel guilty. I don’t feel like I’m being fair to my loved ones by doing this. I can’t share a happy moment with them.

After dealing with ROCD for over two years, here are some things that helped me with my recovery. 1. Exposure therapy When I would be anxious to kiss my boyfriend, would do it anyway, and this goes for anything that you're anxious about...just do it, the fear will subside, and you'll realize that you're mind was just making a big deal out of it. 2. Cognitive reconstructing. This is pretty much just an exercise that helps you rewire your brain, for example, a lot of people with OCD have a cognitive distortion of perfection, I used to have an obsession about my boyfriend having a little fat on his belly, then I realized that everyone's gonna have a little fat on their belly, it's extremely rare for someone to have zero fat on their belly... I would suggest looking up all the different kinds of cognitive distortions and work on corrected them. Another example would be getting anxious because you found someone else attractive, I had to tell my brain that it's normal to find other people attractive, as long as you're not acting out on the attraction and choosing to stay faithful. 3. Getting to the root of ROCD Most people (if not all) with ROCD don't develop it until they get into a real, loving, committed relationship. It rarely comes when you're not taking someone seriously or when they're not taking yo seriously. What does this tell you? It tells you that ROCD is your brains defense mechanism to keep you from being vulnerable and keep you from getting hurt. The truth is most people with ROCD are afraid of commitment, and this is usually something that's subconscious. 4. Being immature in love, or not knowing what real love is. Usually people with ROCD do not have a good definition of what love is, love is a choice... And I know some people get anxious when you say that love is a choice because they think "what if I don't choose my partner" but the truth is, you can choose, over and over and over. The idea that love is a feeling is what has gotten us in this trap in the first place, love is so much more than a feeling, it is a daily choice. Part of this immaturity also comes from movies and social media, movies that always tell us to go for the most beautiful person in the room, or movies that always tell you, that you always need to have a spark, sparks are not real, chemistry is not real either, I know that “chemistry” is a common trigger word tor people with ROCD, because they wonder if they have chemistry with their current partner...The truth is when you're in a relationship and you're planning to marry or be serious all that matters is that you share the same morals, belief systems, and values...and have mutual respect, and loyalty for one another. If we keep chasing the euphoria (honeymoon phase) that comes when you first get into a relationship, will always be single, always be breaking up with people, and getting with new people to feel the euphoria again, not knowing that this feeling does not last... euphoria is meant to get two people together, so you can have something greater. And real love (love that involves choosing, and not a feeling) is so much better than the euphoric high when you first get with someone, allow yourself to mature in real love. Old people don't have that exciting honeymoon feeling anymore, they stayed married because they chose each other every day, that's real authentic love. 5. Meant to be mindset, or soulmate mindset. The concept of being "meant to be" does not exist, neither does soulmates... You get with someone and you make a decision...trust that you made the right one (non-abusive relationship, no constant cheating, no harsh disrespect, common morals and values). The truth is, you get with someone and you make them your soul mate, you make them your “one” it’s all a choice, all this fancy terms come from movies. Real love requires nurture, and care…learning about each other so you can become better suited for one another over time…expecting to have everything you could ever want in a person is unrealistic, that develops overtime. You create your “one” 6. Calling out OCD on its BS! You need to know that ROCD wants you to remain single, it wants you to keep breaking up with people till you find someone “perfect” which doesn’t exist. For example, if you have the intrusive thought “that guy looks better than my bf, maybe I shouldn’t be with my bf and I should be with him, maybe I’m making a mistake being with my bf” you have to know that if you were to listen to the thought, you’d get with a better looking guy, and then leave that guy for the next good looking guy. It doesn’t make sense, you’ll be alone, and that’s what your brain wants. 7. You are not your thoughts This is crucial for recovery, remember that these thoughts aren’t real, the feelings that come from the thoughts aren’t real either. The thoughts say absolutely nothing about you. An intrusive thought is like a plane that landed in the wrong airport, you don’t inspect it or pick it apart or dwell on it, you just simply send it away! Same for the thoughts, they may land like birds but don’t let them form a nest. I say all this to say…don’t give up!! The man I referred to as my “bf” is now my husband. There is hope!!! I was so afraid to get married but I took the risk, love is a risk and you’ll never “know for sure” if you should be with someone, you take a leap of faith and trust your judgment…I’m so glad I did, my anxiety has greatly reduced after marrying him and I’m so happy and in love with him.

Hello, My husband has moderate to severe OCD. He struggles with contamination, some checking, some tied to religion/prayer/confession and really bad intrusive thoughts. He has been diagnosed. As his wife, he often asks for reassurance. "Did you wash your hands with soap?" "Did you touch the trashcan?" Those are a few examples. How do I respond to these frequent questions in a healthy way? Any tips or pointers, because I only understand OCD very little.

Hi im new to this group but wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to mine. I went to doctors today for a review of new medication (mirtazapine) my previous doctor was update with her knowledge of mental health and had previously worked for crisis team (a support line for mental health here in the UK). Unfortunately she was on part of her training and it came to an end so I was left with a different doctor for today's review who was not understanding of my harm ocd at all. I asked for reassurance for my intrusive thoughts and in response was told its not normal because not everyone with ocd has them. I wasnt aure how to take this comment? It sent me into sheer panic as I left the doctors surgery and even worse rumination about wether or not I'm normal! I know harm ocd can be a taboo subject but I mean for a doctor not to understand is very frustrating. Anyone else experienced similar? I'm by no means seeking reassurance just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.