Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Questions for those of you with false memory OCD: How did you come to know that you had this theme? Did these false memories appear spontaneously or gradually? What do you find is best when going about treating your specific theme(s)? Do you have any insight in regards to your theme?

Has anyone gone through Xanax withdrawal?

I feel like I’m basically now convinced. Has anyone else felt like they have to give in and “come out” as gay or trans? I hate this so much.

Lately i began not feeling bad about myself..not give a shit about how I’m thinking or feel that it’s bad or evil..don’t give a shit or feel bad about the horrible things i did in the past( really horrible worst than you can imagine) don’t give a shit about anything it feels better than being sad but it scares me

I know us sufferers aren't meant to ask for 'reassurance' but I haven't quite come to grips with that to be honest. I cant help seeking help and advice.. I thought I was getting better with my depression and anxiety and I was but I haven't really done much to help my harm ocd

I'm absolutely terrified now of genital herpes. I've slept with one person and I am in a relathionship with him for 10 years and somehow I still am horribly afraid I might have genital herpes. I've been very weak today because of the level of my anxiety and of course I had to be stupid and google it, so I found out it can be asymptomatic, and now I'm paralyzed with fear. Also I feel "itchy" down there...great...just great. I just need to accept I'll never feel peace in this life again.

Okkkkkkkk what the hellllll this is really werid idk if its normal.. but, whenever i think of my intrusive thoughts about hurting people (wich have been ruining my life for the past three weeks) or even say certen words that trigger stuff my inside of my ear like pulses and makes a thud sound and it wont stop and its driving me insane does anyone know what this is? I dont know what to do i feel like giving up this is so new this is to much stress for me

Hello guys, I’m new here. I’ve been suffering mainly with Pure O since I was around 11 (that’s the first instance I think) but over the years have had numerous trips to the doctors to be told I have anxiety/depression. To be fair I didn’t really open up about my intrusive thoughts as I felt embarrassed and put up with it for so long. I don’t doubt I probably suffer with some kind of depression due to the OCD as it’s SO draining. But after going to a couple therapists we think I have depersonalisation/derealization disorder. However, I feel this is caused by OCD as I feel fine in the mornings but I then check in to see how I’m feeling and then that’s it, last all day and has done for what feels like years now. I have a terrible memory and feel drained all day long, no confidence. Does anyone have any advice on how to tackle this/how I can properly do ERP to help? Thanks so much in advance.

Freaking out a little bit! So I’m currently on a history trip learning more about WW1 and we’ve touched in the topic that men were just killed with machine guns really rapidly. And I thought ‘huh, that might be kind of satisfying’. But it’s sent me spiralling a bit. Does that mean I could kill? It’s like I’m video games where you just shoot for the ‘fun’ of it. I’m so scared.

I have just recently been diagnosed with contamination ocd but have been dealing with it for a while. Does anyone have any tips on how to maybe control some of the obsessive thoughts?

Does anyone feel that when they are progressing in recovery they are hit with an old OCD theme out of no where ? I got pretty passed my HOCD a year ago and then yesterday after I’ve been getting better with my other form of ocd of having perfect clothes and hair and it’s bothering me less then I got hit with a heavy wave of HOCD luckily with the right tools I laughed it off after an hour but it was strange to me.

Yeah...I definitely have new obsession. Ever since my boyfriend mentioned genital herpes I can't stop being afraid I may have it even though he's the only person I ever had sex with and we're together for 10 years. The fact that he wouldn't believe me that I didn't cheat on him and would leave me immidately is what is fueling this obsession. I don't know what to do... ?

I’m at work and I see all these happy couples come in and it makes me so sad and triggers the same thoughts about my girlfriend who I’m on a break with apparently “until school starts back up” she said she needed space and I’m not texting or calling her first but seeing all these people make me really want to.

I just felt something sink in my stomach when i was looking at girls and it just all of a sudden dropped. I tried it earlier and i didn't feel a drop in my stomach when i was looking at girls and thinking about them anything i dont want to be gay im not gay i know im not i just know it.

Anyone else have real event OCD? I always worry that someone will find out something stupid I did as a kid and share it around. I also analyse the whole event over and over. It sucks because sometimes my real event OCD goes away but it switches to false memory OCD instead.

Ahhhhhh rocd is killing me!!!! I just wanna feel love for my husband again!!!

I always have to check that everything is perfect and in order. I am afraid that my things will be ruined. When I am out I have to check clothes, shoes, bags, when I get home I do the same thing. Then I check the cabinets, the drawers, I have to check if something is missing and ask for help because it all seems to me messed up. Does anyone do this?

How to deal with parents while having severe OCD? I love them a lot but they threaten to kick me out if I disturb their sleep with panic attacks and I can't really control those except for doing compulsions which makes my anxiety worse long term. Which they also aren't happy about. I'm really anxious about this all as my home is my most safe place so to speak, I really don't wanna get kicked out and if anyone has advice I'd love to hear it. (Also meds don't really work much for me unfortunately)

My hocd has been really bad this past month. It feels as if everyday is a battle against my mind. I'm so sick of it. I just wanna live my life without worrying about the next thought that I'm gonna have. I was having sex with my girlfriend and it was great till the thoughts came up. It kept bringing me out of the moment that I was trying to enjoy. This really sucks. I'm afraid to make love to my own girlfriend because of these stupid thoughts. It's so hard to carry on.

Fear of revenge porn against me has triggered an OCD checking urge to check porn sites or google with different key words of my name and description (for example I’m Turkish so I would put keywords like Turkish slut or something). I received no threat from my narcissist ex, but he did tell me that he could’ve sent mail to my parents but he’s not an evil person and for my sake he wouldn’t. He’s a lawyer so I told him he knows that’s illegal and he said yes and then tried to downplay what he said saying it’s just my parents. I shut him up when I said my dad wouldn’t be mad at me he would be mad and go find him instead. He wrote a mean email once after I bashed him to mutual friends telling me to stay away because I shouldn’t awake the monster inside of him. He didn’t state specifics in the email but of course he knows it triggers my ocd. I keep reading about how narcissists have no feelings and lie, and are known to post revenge porn so that’s what makes me doubt. I haven’t been checking online but I just have the urge. He doesn’t have anything with my face I don’t think but he had fetishes with me masturbating and when we were long distance he wanted me to strip and masturbate for him on Skype. I never heard him take a screenshot but who knows. He’s completely blocked now. My mom doesn’t think he would do anything and just tells me to ignore but I hate myself for trusting him. When I was under his spell I was oblivious to all. When I found his double life and lies I started wondering what else is he capable of. Overall I’m just trying to recover from horrible narcissistic abuse and move on with my life. If he ever contacts me again I’m afraid if I’m mean or piss him off he will retaliate and I don’t wanna be afraid to stand up for myself. He’s a parasite.