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my new psychiatrist was very adamant and persistent about knowing the exact content of my intrusive thoughts. i refused to tell him because it made me uncomfortable. is this normal??

I always thought it was just anxiety, but found out I have OCD. I have this constant need for reassurance and knowing that I'm not letting people down. I will ask them non-stop, and even when they promise me that everything is fine, I still think something isn't fine and they're just lying to me. So, I keep asking. I keep reading their body language to find something to make me not believe them. I have this NEED to make my parents happy and if they're not, then I'm going to spiral into an episode of not being able to rest until they have basically gotten sick of me. I will bring up the same subjects over and over and over again, ask the same questions over and over and over again because these thoughts won't stop. Thoughts of "you're going to lose your mom. she's so disappointed in you. if you don't do this, then you're doomed." There have been times when I've woken up in the middle of the night worried about my mom and wake her up to make sure she's ok. I have a hard time trusting that doctors are doing what they should be doing and didn't miss something in her tests. If I've upset my family, I won't be able to rest until I've asked them at least a dozen times if they're ok or if they hate me. I can't handle uncertainty. I also check lights, doors, curling irons multiple times every time I leave the house. I eventually started taking pictures to make sure, but even then I keep going back. I am about to turn down a trip to Washington because I am afraid I will disappoint someone by going, or that I will get infected by an illness and give it to my mom and she will be in the hospital and it will all be my fault. Please someone tell me this is all just in my head. Anyone else have these fears? It's scary to know I have OCD, but at the same time it's good to know that it's actually a thing and not just me.

For anyone in a serious relationship I need some help. There has been a lot of turmoil in my relationship, a lot. We have been fighting on and on, almost always about OCD. She hates it. Begs for it to be over, and doesn’t understand it at all. She asks over and over why I am anxious for no reason or sad or tired, and it is hard. Last night she told me to leave, and today we are supposed to talk because she has a lot of questions she needs answers to. I am asking for advice on what to say, as I want to be honest with her but I also need help protecting myself and not just feeding into her bc I know a lot of this isn’t fair to myself either! Any advice on how to approach this? Some common things she asks are: - If you love me why can’t that be enough? - Why are you sad all the time? - Why can’t you control your emotions? - Will OCD ever end? - I don’t know if I can stay in this relationship if OCD doesn’t get better

Felt like I’ve lost my attraction to men 😔 Ik I have my Icks to some and haven’t been treated right from past relationships, just needed to remember that I just haven’t found one that’s good enough for me to be with. Yet I’m backed up by thoughts that I’ve lost my attraction to them cause of those reasons.

Hello all - is/has anyone been on antidepressants and how were they for you? Finding my bad days super hard at the moment. Thank you!

I just keep constantly getting intrusive thoughts of dudes and dating them Everytime i think about beautiful women and dating them… what do i do…?

Was curious to hear what recovery looks like for some of you? If you’re doing better or if you would consider yourself “recovered” whatever that looks like lol

Does anyone get really irritated and angry at absolutely everything because of anxiety just wondering if it’s only me

My OCD is like being forced into a theme park haunted house. On one hand, I know that all the scary things are actors and props and machines. On the other, I'd like to avoid getting scared. Soon enough, I'm convinced that everything inside the haunted house is real and I barely remember that I'm in a theme park and I'm supposed to be having fun. I've lost sight of my life. And it's even more unsettling to be in a haunted house waiting for a jumpscare. If I go somewhere in the haunted house, an actor could come out and scare me. If I touch an unlucky object in my room, there's a possibility of something bad happening. In both instances, I feel stupid for getting scared in the first place. I'm living in a constant state of suspense. I know it's fake, but my body and my brain aren't lined up because I get a physical anxiety response. I just have to remember that haunted houses have exits!

How does one move on from having intrusive thoughts and feelings?

I started my first exposure yesterday coloring a Pride Flag, hanging it in my office, and saying “I may or may not be attracted to women.” I am suppose to do this 5x a day and track when my anxiety peaks, when it subsides, and total time. Now my brain is telling me these exposures feel like conversion. Like once I’m comfortable with thoughts of being bisexual I am going to become that or be okay doing things with women. Anyone else struggle with this when starting ERP for SO-OCD?

lately i’ve been feeling like my obsessions are real and i’m just in denial because of one thing i did in the past, i’ve spent hours upon hours reading articles and forums to find an answer as to why i did that in the past and what it says about me. I could just say “yeah this obsession is real” but i would never act on it or do something related anyway, i get nauseous just thinking about it, but again in the past i didn’t realize the magnitude of the situation so i just went on with my life happily without paying much attention to it until i developed ocd, i remembered that past situation and it was impossible for me to refute my ocd obsessions with that event in mind. I constantly question if what i read of other people having done the same thing (and it it not an indicator of who they are) also applies to my experience or if i’m just denying the evident.

I found this article very informative about how treatment may need to be modified fire for ocd based on disgust instead of fear: https://iocdf.org/blog/2023/04/25/disgust-based-ocd-thoughts-on-a-new-treatment-protocol/ if you have trouble accessing it you can search by “disgust ocd gallagher” as this info is also published elsewhere Here’s an article with info and a table for the meds that could/ may work for disgust based OCD: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4776764/ I wouldn’t replace erp if visual stimuli can be used in a hierarchy or if fear is a factor as well as disgust, but I would supplement with the other approaches. I say this because, at least for me, ocd latched into using disgust as an excuse to keep the compulsions so I’m using an erp hierarchy to chip away at my routine in the restroom especially since this works for the fear I have and the gradual reduction of compulsions also addresses the disgust (but only if I am willing to accept the risk). Poop pics do help with lessening the disgust so for me erp is still my core treatment method but I’m going to be supplementing my ssri with one of the glutamate meds.

My contamination ocd and germophobia are at an all time high. Theyve never been this bad and when i say bad i mean just the thought of or looking at something can trigger me. I live with my parents and im an only child. We very rarely have guests maybe every few years. With that being said ive hardly ever had to share a bathroom. The layout of the houses extra rooms are 2 rooms across from each other and a bathroom in the middle. My dad is having his friend come live with us who will be staying in the room across from mine which means he will be using my bathroom. When i tell you i dont know what to do i truly dont know what im going to do. Just from me using the bathroom myself i have to disinfect it. Sometimes multiple times a night. Now im going to have some older man who is a complete stranger who frankly doesnt look like a very clean person and looks like he could be my grandpa from the few minutes i met him around my personal items and using my shower, etc. On top of that i spend a lot of time in the bathroom washing my hands, disinfecting things, going in and out of it constantly at night esp before and after i take a shower which i try to take as late as possible to avoid having to leave the bathroom and room area again. I take a lot of time having to feel clean before i can put my pjs on and get in bed and im by myself on the other side of the house so i usually dont have to cover up or anything i can just go freely from my room to the bathroom until im finally content and can wash my hands one last time before i go to bed. Now im going to have a strange man right next to me and its going to throw off every single thing i do. This man is basically contaminating my entire life. Im sorry if that sounds mean but its true and i really dont know what to do. I dont know how im going to get through this at all. Im crying just typing this and my anxiety is through the roof which is in turn is all making me feel dirty. Btw my parents have 0 compassion and said they dont care at all and if i dont like it i can move out. I dont expect them to cater to me but at least pretend like you care a little about how im feeling. Just wanted to share with people who would understand. Thanks.

I have a new best friend who I love, but I think ocd is beginning to attack this friendship. Physical touch is my love language (and it’s my best friends too) so we agree to cuddle a lot. It’s completely platonic. We are both straight. I know that I’m straight, but when I cuddle w her, I usually feel my body react physically to touch and it makes me so nervous. I have also had intrusive thoughts about being attracted to her, but those I can usually fight pretty easily. However, I’m afraid that those physiological reactions my body has mean something. I don’t want ocd to ruin this friendship. How do i fight it? I’ve fought lots of subtypes of ocd before, but this one is a bit unfamiliar to me.

- I had horrible psychological childhood abuse when I was 8-15 from my step dad - I never felt like anyone ever validated this in my life. - when I was super drunk I accidentally told my partner it was sexual abuse (it wasn’t) I think, I thought maybe he would take my trauma seriously if I said that - now that I told that lie a year ago, every day since I have felt the urge to confess the truth that it wasn’t sexual, just psychological - he’s my soulmate and I feel like I’ve ruined everything and that I need to confess - this ocd theme has gone on for like 15 months EVERY DAY PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, do I confess????? I kinda backpedaled to him a few weeks later and said well “I’m not sure if it was but my childhood was still bad and I can’t stop thinking about it” This has been going on for too much time, I’m going to crack, I thought I’d be better by now , PLEASE REPLY, do I confess??

I think I trauma dump on people. Whether it's with friends or with this app or other support groups I'm in. I feel like a piece of shit for this because it makes people feel bad and they feel they can't do anything to help me. I'm constantly sharing the horrible things that I worry about because they're overwhelming and I think talking about it helps, but it's just a compulsion in the end. I end up doing it still and over every worry and now it just makes me feel like crap thinking about it. So I don't think I should keep posting the way I do on here and to other people.

Hi everyone, I have been doing ERP for a little over two months, and while my SUDS scores and quality of life has improved, this past week it seems as though my harm-OCD is coming back despite doing my homework on a regular basis. I do feel discouraged and more depressed. I even feel like I had to cut back and do easier exposures. Does anybody else experience this?

Sometimes I find it crazy how I used to be so unbothered before ROCD. I wonder since it was triggered so quickly if one day I’ll be able to feel how I did before all of this. Now everything that I think or do has to relate back to my relationship. Every Instagram post or thing I say or tiktok I see I wonder, what would he think if I liked this? Do I like this? Does he like this? Is it morally right for us to like this? What if he likes this and it’s not right, what will people think? I’m honestly tired of caring so much and my brain numbs out. It feels so weird to me since I lived most of my life happy and with free. I really want to try and get back to those calm times where I could love him freely. I get scared that I’m stuck this way forever.

What do you guys think, when is the right time to do therapy? How much time should you fight alone against this?