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i cant live through this if it is like that everyday

I feel like I am so deep in this rabbit hole of confessing to my boyfriend about anything regarding cheating or finding people attractive or having thoughts about them. Can anyone please give me tips on how to stop because it’s really starting to affect him

Hi all. Bare with me as it is 5:30 AM and I just woke up with lots of anxiety. If something doesn’t make sense I apologize. Within the last few months work has been unbearable for me, but it hasn’t always been this way. I work 40 hours a week at a small town bank, I’m a people person, so I used to not mind it. Of course I was never bouncing out of bed thrilled to go to work, I mean who really is? I started to get really negative and just lazy. I realized that but just thought I just really hated it. It wasn’t till a day when my thoughts were racing and swirling that I realized I didn’t really hate it that much, it’s just my OCD! This summer has been hard for me cause I started therapy and really trying to WORK THROUGH my problems rather than suppressing them. I’ve been a rollercoaster of emotions. We also just moved into our first home this year so working 40 hours a week and having to come home and keep a house clean is a lot. I value my relaxing time so when I can’t do that I get very overwhelmed. I don’t know if this falls into my ROCD, my boyfriends family all works very hard, him included. They all value ambition and hard work. I’m thinking that that the stress maybe could be from thinking that if I just quit my job he’ll think I’m lazy and leave? Also with building our first home this year it brought on a lot of ROCD, and I think this is just common sense however after working 40 hours a week I cannot be the only one cleaning our home. It’s a lot! It’s a constant argument and I always threaten to put my 2 weeks in which I always feel shitty about after because I feel like I’m manipulating him (he NEVER tells me that I am, he just doesn’t listen lol) I just know this is related to my OCD in some way but I can’t place where it fits. It’s so hard because it really puts a damper on my mental health all together and I don’t want to be a miserable person at work. This is just a part of my OCD I haven’t been able to get ahold of yet. If anyone has experienced this I would love some advice. I might not LOVE my job, but I NEVER hated it like I do right now and I’ve been stuck for a bit now. Thank you and have a great Monday :)

I feel like a sack of potatoes. I can't do anything without getting cripplingly depressed. It feels like I'm unable to do anything these days because of that.

Man, this is killing me. I’ve had very form of ocd I think from POcD, false memory, socd, hocd, perfectionism, contamination, existential and the one that trips me up the most is health ocd. All the stress OCD gives me causes me to feel some pretty weird sensations in my head and lots of depersonalization. I constantly think I’m developing Alzheimer’s, brain cancer, or really just anything else. BUT these fears get a hold of me so well, I actually become forgetful, stutter, experience blurry vision, painful migraines……. And so I get symptoms of the diseases I fear. Any advice this is killing me?🥺

So I (16 f) haven't been diagnosed with it but I think I have OCD. Specifically POCD and real event OCD. I did something in 2021 that I regretted then and I regret even more now. I read some fanfiction that involved incest and minors and I hated it. I hated it bc it was disgusting, bc it went against my morals, and bc I read it. I was bored but I still wish I didn't read them. And since April of this year, I have been suffering bc I read them. I'm scared I'm a pedo and I really don't want to be one bc I don't want to do the things they do to kids. I Don't even find kids attractive but I get groinal responses and I'm scared that I actually do. I suffer from intrusive thoughts everyday. Even though this flair up started in April, I've been suffering from it for a couple years. But nowadays I'll be lucky to go a hour without them. I posted a similar post like this on Reddit a month or two ago and all of the comments said I wasn't a pedo and that it was POCD but I'm spiraling. During those months I would be scared I was a pedo and not be scared bc I knew it was ocd back and forth but this time it's different. I'm scared that I'm actually a pedo but I don't want to be. I don't like the thoughts and I don't want to do anything to kids. I know people say that 'if you were a pedo you would like the thoughts." Or "if you were a pedo you would know you are." And that's helped me but now I feel like I could just be in denial. I tried to not let it bother me but my brain tells me that if I don't react, that means I like the thoughts. I have younger cousins and a nephew and I hate being around them bc I'm scared that I'll get attracted to them. I hate when my younger sister hugs me bc I get scared that I'll get attracted. There has been multiple times where I just went in my bathroom and just broke down crying. And I hate crying but I cried more than I usually do. It's gotten to the point where multiple times I felt suicidal and honestly I feel like that now. But I usually got over it and realized it was just OCD but I'm scared that it's not. And I feel like if it was just thoughts then maybe it would've been better but it's the fact that I read those even though I hated it and was disgusted by it. I just really don't know what to do. I'm sorry that this post is too long.

I know we are not supposed to thought-stop, but can we tell ourselves to stop checking or stop ruminating with out the OCD cycle continuing?

Hello guys, Im new here and seeking for advice. Im in a relationship with an amazing guy. I love him so much and that’s why my ocd and anxiety are latching onto my connection with him. He was staying over at my place and 2 events happened (something to do with his disease and he had an allergic reaction to food) that caused my stress and anxiety levels to be higher than normal. Followed by a night of bad sleep made things worse. I became very alert and was easily triggered. Something occurred that I completely miscalculated and we talked about it but my anxiety was through the roof at this point. I got these disturbing images of me hurting him in my head. I have had intrusive thoughts in the past but it didn’t affect me this much. Because of the lack of sleep and my high anxiety level made me so afraid of myself that I made the decision to sent him home. I have cried so much since that happened. I feel so bad for having that thought. I love him so much. Our communication is very healthy so I’ve told him about this the day after (why I sent him home). I couldnt do it in the moment because i didnt want to make the situation worse. We werent in a fight when i sent him home but both emotional and hugging each other. I have the feeling that my anxiety and ocd have won the battle by sending him home (avoidance). But i care so much for him that I didn’t want him to be at risk (thats what my mind tells me, i know its showing me disturbing images the opposite of what i want). Im in the early stage of having this type of OCD but I don’t want to lose him. But for me the only way to get this relationship to work is to get rid of this. Can anyone relate? Like, having intrusive thoughts about your partner? I know its latching on to the things you love the most and I hate it so much. Thanks in advance :)

Fearing that I'll somehow resent or blame my children due to harm ocd thoughts. My kids are my world, they always have been for 20 plus years. Just started this 2nd round of harm ocd 2 months ago. First one was 18 years ago. 18 yrs ago was the first round of harm ocd involving my kids and then 18 yrs later,almost 19 yrs later, my 2nd bout with it and it feels like the first time all over again. What if I blame my kids, what if I avoid them on purpose. 2 of my kids are grown adults. My 3rd is 13,but somehow my brain is still seeing them as kids. It's amazing what the brain is capable of. I know I love my children with all my heart and soul. How can I even be questioning this? How can a father of 3, thats been a dad for 22 years start questioning something that I know is impossible. Very frustrating.

im relapsing into overthinking, falling into the rabbit hole. I'm going to turn off my brain now and dismiss every concern. I'm not going to address anything. I will act as if this triggering episode never happened, and with that the rabbit hole that I fell into. I'm going to drown the thoughts.

a few months ago i saw my situationship having a sexual conversation with their friend and it’s been really bothering me ever since. i constantly think that when i’m not in the room that they’re talking like that with them or he’s using little loop holes in our agreement to get by doing it and it comes up often when i see them just texting normally. i can’t move past this incident and it always comes back when i’m finally getting comfortable again with our relationship and feeling better. i can’t figure out if this is something that still bothers me or if im just using it to self sabotage my relationship with him.

I suddenly remembered that I didn't have pocd my whole life. I had simmetry and order obsessions, contamination obsessions when I was just a kid, including perfectionism obsessions when playing the violin (that reappeared in highschool when making the perfect school notes). Then it evolved into pure ocd/(emotional contamination from bad figures)when I was in middle school when I started having intrusive images and unwanted associations that made me feel impure and dirty, stuck in my head and feeling violated. Moral scrupolosity when I was in highschool like the fear of being racist or not feeling enough disgust/intrusive thoughts like "this is not that bad" when reading news abt crimes, afraid of being a psychopath, of being a bad person, (linked in part to the growing cancel culture and exposure to twitter), excessive moral scrupolosity about anything, self saboraging intrusive thoughts etc. Then pocd for the last 2 years, after an immense triggering episode in summer, the date being september 7th 2021; going through the many aspects of this specific theme: from the fear of being falsely accused and not being believed, to being triggered by anything related to that theme, to intrusive thoughts and images, to compulsive note-taking (addressing every little thing like ocd episodes and intrusive thoughts), staying up the entire night to write down on my notes app every single thought concerning ocd, especially confessing the intrusive thoughts/episodes, to doubting over my whole identity, to false attraction, to staring, to compulsive self-harming and depression; to starting to get slowly better with some major episodes here and there, hopefully fewer and fewer. I forgot abt all my obsessive tendencies since I was just a little kid; so it's probably true that it is all "just" ocd, I hope. Pocd is just one of the many themes I had since I was little, it doesn't define me, it doesn't have to feel like my whole reality anymore nor it is linked to my identity. It's just a theme. I can have a normal life. I'm not ocd.

I really need some understanding about embracing uncertainities I am not able to underatand it completely I am not able to persue that...can anyone help!?

The past few months have been hard. I went through a tough time a couple years ago and finally started getting help for my mental health and since than I finally felt in a good place but my main issue was OCD and I didn’t get the proper treatment I needed for it, but the past few months my ocd really took over and started to effect my relationship with my girlfriend who I was dating over a year at that point. She meant so much to me and I was struggling so much with ocd and really decided to focus on Ocd specific therapy and found NOCD because it really was effecting my daily life and my relationship. The past 2 months I’ve been in transition of med changes and different therapists and adding a breakup right in the middle of it to someone who meant so much to me, I feel terrible because I got too much in my own head and let my OCD directly interfere and it got overwhelming for her which I understand. Now I’m trying to just focus on myself and stay present but it has not been easy, especially as you can all relate for someone with OCD. I am starting a big internship and my last semester of school tommrow and I just feel so much uncertainty and not the excitement I should be feeling. Sorry for the rant

im feeling so depressed today all ive been doing is lying in bed and i feel so bad. my mom scolds me telling me to get up and its not normal but i have no motivation to do anything. Theres no point to do anything if im so old and just getting older. I cant enjoy anything and im just so scared. All ive been doing is scrolling social media looking at other ages and their experiences and feeling bad for them too. I dont even want it to get better i just want it to end or for me to be young again. im just so scared

I’m scared that I will forget how to talk and understand things. I think it is called Aphasia. I’m so scared, I can’t focus. Does anyone else have this? I’m having a panic attack now.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about people being worried that they’re a P. I struggled with this a lot, this was my first run around with OCD. When I talked to my therapist about this, she told me something that helped me a lot. “If it bothers you this much when those thoughts come to your mind, it tells you everything you need to know.” If it scares you to your core when these thoughts come, you are not a monster. Your OCD will try to tell you different, but stop arguing with it. Acknowledge the thought by saying “I’m noticing an intrusive thought.” You are not validating the intrusive thought, you are acknowledging that it is there. When you argue with it, it will continue to swirl your brain. The bottom line is, we have a disorder. It’s sole purpose is to try and make us believe we are something that we’re not. In my experience, acknowledging the thought is there, and just having the knowledge that it’s my OCD and not me, I’ve had huge progress. I don’t get hooked on my thoughts nearly as much. If we argue with the intrusive thoughts it will have you hooked longer and cause us more suffering. Also, by acknowledging the intrusive thoughts, you are not suppressing it and ignoring it. You are existing with it. All of this is apart of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.) If you’d like to learn more about it I recommend doing some research and seeing what it can do for you. Remember, you are NOT the person your OCD wants you to believe you are. You are not your OCD, think of it as an annoying roommate that moved into your apartment.

I’m a new adjunct professor at a US university. It hasn’t been a week already and one student already complained to the head of my department that my teaching style is terrible. I thus received a long email from the head saying that I better improve my teaching style or else I’m out… So what on earth happened? I was just merely following a department syllabus to teach. I didn’t change anything to it, but apparently, the student thinks the order of topics is wrong and that she speaks on behalf of all students in saying that I’m confusing them all. She’s also disrespected me on multiple occasions, speaking over me while I’m talking, hovering over her phone, and whispering to other students. So here I am, thinking that I do suck and that I need to quit before I’m fired or my contract isn’t renewed. I’m just an adjunct and I don’t have the rights that full time faculty have. It’s sad because I do genuinely enjoy teaching and I just want everyone to have fun with it. But, this student doesn’t even give me the opportunity to teach. She then tells other people in the class to just skip my lecture and go to tutoring. How could I deal with the OCD induced from this? OCD wants me to just quit already and go home. That I’m a worthless person and I shouldn’t be teaching.

Does anyone else’s OCD take things and run with them? For example, my boyfriend got annoyed with me recently and responded kind of rudely to a question I asked him. I told him that wasn’t fair and he agreed and apologized immediately. But now I keep ruminating on it that maybe this is just him revealing his true self now that we’ve been together for a while. Maybe the real him is aggressive and he’s going to snap at me in the future and I’m going to be stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy! Also I’m fearing everyone reading this won’t believe me that my relationship is good and they’ll be judging me saying it’s not OCD. Struggling right now.

Hey guys, I just upped my fluvoxamine to 100 mg. Does anyone have experience with Luvox that they wouldn’t mind sharing.