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How do I stop thinking about him and obsessing over what we want had. I keep reliving things over and over and over I find myself literally begging him. Losing all my self-respect. The pain is so extremely great. It hurts so bad.

Let me know how you’ve been with a heart and sum it up into one word. And I’ll send a message back x 💛 Amazing 💚 Good 🧡meh 💙bad

I'm just curious what some of y'all might do to pass the time? I typically get off work by about 4pm everyday, go home, eat something and then just wait to go bed. I basically just do instagram, youtube, facebook or video games during that time but obviously that's not very productive.

Hi all - I’ve posted a bit of late as I’ve been struggling. I was hoping if someone could confirm my insight into my condition. Very brief - was 25, in a newish relationship, infatuated. Had some performance issues, then literally overnight a thought popped in “you don’t feel anything for her”. After months of obsessiveness and loss of libido, another thought “you are gay” and it’s been almost a decade of struggle. My main obsession seems to be that my mind feels convinced it’s true, despite not seemingly having ever had any natural attraction or desire of men. So here comes what I think is insight. OCD is a broken fear mechanism that’s reinforced by behaviour. I fear that I am or might be gay = lots of feared consequences (hurting my wife as a big example). My mind will auto focus on ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that might prove I am gay. And that’s it’s job - it thinks it’s a dangerous outcome and therefore needs to search for certainty that it’s either true or not true. I think when I’m saying “it feels real and true” what I’m actually experiencing is OCD doing it’s job. It’s making sure I take it (the threat) as serious and will find anything it can to make sure I am listening so I can protect myself. The libido side of things - this seem to be pretty consistent with any form of anxiety. My anxiety gets so bad I dry reach. I’m not sure anyone can think about positive sex when they’re that wound up? Lastly the treatment side - ERP works because the OCD part of the brain doesn’t learn through thought. It learns through action/behaviour. The more I behave in a way that shines a spotlight on this ‘fear’ the more it (ocd) it taught the fear still could be real and needs to be dealt with. One of the hardest parts for me that my head focusses on sometimes is - what’s the difference between how I’m feeling with OCD vs someone that comes out later in life? Can others check my insight above? Does it sound correct? Thanks

I can't share some of my intrusive thoughts. I'm too ashamed. I think if I did to some people then the relationship would be over. I've shared some with my husband and he was supportive, but he's at the end of his rope now. I'm not functioning either and that's making him angry. I'm at the end of my rope as well. Any advice??

I’m living in Central America, and they recently had an election. Possibly some are trying to obstruct the president-elect from taking power, and they’ve shut down our town’s electricity, closed the shops down, and we can’t hardly buy anything right now. I have a community here that I’m apart of, so we should be fine when it comes to support and food. Idk how long it’s going to last, and things are probably going to be just fine for me and my family and others, but we’ll see. Take care everyone.

I feel like shit... For context, my cats mostly live in the kitchen (not my decision) and I told my parents weeks ago not to put forks and knives in those silverware cups on the sink as I was afraid my cats would get hurt when jumping on the sink and to store them in the oven instead (we don’t use it for cooking). My room and the kitchen and next to each other and so are out windows so I’ve developped the fear of my electronics emitting EM waves or ultrasounds when using or charging them, or just regular sound while watching youtube videos, that my cats might get curious about and thus jumping on the sink which is right next to the kitchen window and that they might hurt themselves if a knife or fork was left there. I also developped a fear of not leaving food in room in fear they would smell it and once again jump on the sink. This afternoon, I thought to myself I would remind my parents they should not put silverware in the cups on the sink once they woke from their nap, as they have a tendency to forget or downplay my fears over time. If you’re wondering, I didn’t go and check myself if they had respected my wish so far since I can’t close doors if I know my cats are on the other side of said door since I’m afraid to stuck their paw in the closing door or at least some of their hair and hurt them without being able to know (I know they might yell in pain but I can’t convince my brain they won’t hide away their pain as some cats do, and just having hait isn’t immediately painful until they eventually try to get away from the door and pull on it). So I took the bet that they respected out agreement until I could go check for myself once they woke up and plugged some of my electronics that I needed for tomorrow’s class (I had recently broken my good charging cable for my tablet and had to use the shitty one that sometimes doesn’t even fully charge my tablet overnight so I decided to charge it in the middle of the afternoon, also my phone that I only charge once every week and used my pc in the meantime which makes even more EM waves), I reallly thought they would be understanding but when I went to check the kitchen, one HUGE knife with the saw-like cutting edge was sticking out of one of the cups and my heart dropped... I might have hurt my cat by using and charging all my electronics all afternoon and eating snacks they might have smelled and feel terrible because I could just have waited a few hours before doing all that and my electronics would have probably been charged anyways in the morning and I wasn’t that hungry, I feel terrible. Also this morning while I still was half asleep, I thought about moving my airpod charging case further away from the window while it was charging my earbuds but didn’t and thought my cats wouldn’t pick up in the charging sound but after a few minutes trying to fall back asleep I heard a cat yelling out of my window and felt bad cause it might have been one of my cats but could also have been a stray cat a’d will have no idea ever. I keep making shitty decisions and am a garbage human being and keep hurting my pets...

Any advice on how to not get too discouraged after performing a compulsion. Last week was so hard because I really dedicated myself to not giving into compulsions, as the week went on I started feeling a little better. This week has been difficult for other reasons that have taken a toll on my mental health and I’ve given into a few compulsions. I’m trying not to feel too discouraged but I just feel like all the progress I made is out the window 😞

3 years ago when my boyfriend and i were dating my best guy mate kissed my forehead when saying bye on my birthday I thought i was so weird but i didn’t overthink it as one of my other guy friends did this to us too (rarely) He did it again a few months later to me and my best friend when saying bye and it was again weird but we didn’t look into it too much and continued with our night Do i tell this to my boyfriend now? I feel so guilty i should’ve told my friend to back off He hasn’t done it since that time^ and im not close to him anymore Im on holiday with my boyfriend tomorrow and i feel so guilty

Yesterday I convinced myself I am OK with being alone, no real friends, husband working away at weekdays. I was just fine. As if I had accepted my destiny. Today I feel lonely and incompetent and worthless. I blame myself for developing ocd, for not overcoming it in way over 30 years, for feeling tired all the time, for not being able to concentrate on one task for longer than 20-30min, for not accomplishing what I had planned on daily bases, for postponing everything, for people not wanting to be a real friend to me, for people using and dropping me like trash, for caring too much, for feeling ashamed, for being too sensitive, for everything possible. I blame myself that I of all people in a large family and relatives, had to be the one messed up and weird and nutty. The one with ocd. Why was I the one who got ocd and no one else? Why me? The rest were inconsiderate, uncaring, selfish, arrogant idiots, and I was sensitive, caring, helping, respectful and nice to people and animals and I was rewarded with ocd. People called me strange, weirdo, liar because I was trying to hide ocd, and in the end I was labeled bad in the family. Why me? I was the only genuinely humane one and the rest called me bad, trash,...? Just because I had ocd. If I had diabetes or epilepsy, would I also be called the bad names. Well they had no idea that ocd was ocd. I don't see those people anymore. I have been cometely familyless and relativeless for almost 30 years. And I still at times feel like they taught me to feel. Worthless. I have a husband. Even with him I felt like a lying hypocrite at times. I couldn't tell him about my obsessions because he wouldn't have understood. And he looked at me as if I was a lying scum. I didn't even trust myself. I felt like I was told I was and not the way I knew I was. I know they were wrong. But still... there come the days when I feel exactly the way they made me feel when I was just getting to know ocd without even knowing it's name. As a young girl, not even a teenager yet. How to feel my own worth? I think I have no control over my life. I just do and feel what thoughts and feelings order me to do and feel. I was supposed to write a long essay today. I have been postponing it for sooo long and I just can't focus. I am furious at myself. When I feel like that, I eat. Which I shouldn't do. When is this going to be over? I need to somehow make me feel better. I am just so gloomy at the moment. I just needed to vent and to feel I am coresponding with another human being. Just to feel less lonely. If you read this, thank you. I just needed human presence. My heart goes out to everyone who has ocd and who feels lonely.

NSFW Been doing well for months but suddenly hitting a snag. I've confessed so much to my gf about how close I was to a female friend. I cut this friend out a year ago. I think I had feelings but my gf seems to disagree. However as t one point I drunkenly masturbated to the thought of this woman and also vented to her about my gf at times (although I did to some other friends and family too at the time, it was early in our relationship and my gf was very distant). Do I confess these? Could this be considered cheating? I'm so exhausted.

POCD and HOCD Groinal reposes are normal, but what if my nipples get hard the same time I feel those groinal responses? Is that also all tied in together? Anyone else dealing with that? My mind has been thinking about this and I’m really curious?

Does anyone have any tips for reducing constant mental compulsions and rumination? I am constantly saying sentences/phrases in my head or ruminating so when I am trying to not engage I have to first make the decision to actively stop saying my compulsions in my head but it can feel very all or nothing as for me it’s not when an intrusive thoughts pops up anymore as I am constantly saying them so it feels like I’m either doing all of them or none of them which makes doing the process step by step very difficult. Any advice?

Hi, I have a 15 year old son who is an identical twin and both boys suffer from OCD. With one it’s under control, the other one is kind of in a crisis, every single thing that the boy does is built around his rituals. He is late to school, he hardly sleeps, and is up all night, he avoids touching things, washes his hands all the time, refuses to sit down, or sit on a certain chair, or walk through the kitchen a certain pathway, or even enter the living room. He does this ritual in the morning with his sneakers before he puts them on and has been late to school so far 4 times this year even though his alarm is set for 45 minutes earlier than it was last year. He told me a while ago he’s scared, and he wants to talk to somebody, and the psychiatrist recently put him back on sertraline. It’s killing me to see my kid like this & the family (6 of us, me & my husband & 4 kids) has no patience for him anymore.

Really need to talk to someone Confessional OCD is in full swing , my boyfriend doesn't need to know my past so why do I have the urge to tell him absolutely everything guys I've slept with etc , I need some support today

At the moment i am in a very happy relationship with my girlfriend, she is the love of my life and i wouldn’t swap her for anyone, but does anyone else get anxiety over past relationships to come back and haunt u, I’ve never really done any bad in the past at all but i feel like my past relationships are gonna come back and haunt me one day and i get a lot of anxiety from it as all i want to do is focus on my current partner but they keep coming up and because i try not to think of them it makes it worse

Can someone explain to me what urges are with ocd or what they feel like

I feel pretty sad because I can't even tell if someone in my life who I consider a friend even cares about me or not. He really doesn't like it if I assurance-seek by asking stuff like "Do you hate me?" or anything similar, and he won't give me the reaction I'm after if I ask stuff like that, we had an argument over it and he cut me off for a few weeks because he considered it mentally taxing to feel like I'm "offended by everything". I apologised for it and we agreed to be friends again. But I'm starting to question how much I even matter to this person. He mainly only starts conversations to me by sending me memes and I would try to do the same to him, but they usually won't turn into conversations unless I say something to start one. A few days ago I asked him what he's dressing up for for Halloween and he rambled about a game he's into and a character he wants to dress up as but the conversation would keep dying unless I kept asking him more questions. Then I tried to ask if he knows about a game I like and he said no so I tried saying some stuff about it and I wanted to say more if he had questions or seemed interested but he just said "Aw yep" so I felt too unwanted to continue, which felt hurtful because I tried to engage with him by asking him questions when he was talking about his interests. Maybe he expected me to just rambled on about it without being asked to like he tends to do for his interests, and maybe I should have. Idk. Yesterday he sent me a meme and I tried sharing with him an animation I was working on in class and he just replied "Sick" and even though that's a compliment, it just felt like he didn't really care so it hurt me. When we had our argument, in the heat of the moment he said that he doesn't feel like he actually knows anything about me and "it's impossible to gauge you as a person" which felt like it came out of nowhere because we had been talking for 7 months at that point. Like I said, we made up since then, but I've never gotten any confirmation on if that's still how he feels about me or not. And if it is, it's pretty shitty of him to complain to me about it like it's my fault when he refuses to ask me questions about my life to get to know me when I try to do that for him. I genuinely don't know how he sees me as of now, but I feel like I can't approach him over it because he'll feel like I'm accusing him of something and he'll get mad. I really don't know how I can even navigate this situation, maybe he doesn't want to ask me questions about my life or show care towards me because I haven't really been doing it to him, but I don't know how to without seeming awkward. I also don't really know how to approach him on the fact I don't feel like he cares about me and he never asks me anything. I'm trying to become more distant with him and not depend on this friendship too much. I'm not going to initiate a conversation unless he initiates one to me, but I feel like that will mean we just won't talk at all maybe ever again. If that's what happens then at least I'll have an answer on how he feels about me though, I guess. He does seem to just be a very dry person in general though so I can't expect that to change, and he has said he's a "don't speak unless spoken to" kind of guy, but the truth is that's how I am too, and I have been the one to exit my comfort zone for him and I don't want to continue being the only one making that sacrifice so I'm going to become like that too because that's how I naturally am as well.

hii everyone, so, it has been about 2 or 3 years I’d say since I’ve been dealing with this. let’s just get right into it, so first, whatever I have (which might be OCD, I’m not entirely sure what it is) has taken over basically most of my childhood, and what kills me is that I’ll never get it back. one thing I know is that im not normal, i now get sleepless nights. why you may ask? because of my horrifying thoughts, “if you don’t look up you’ll be praying to the devil and you’ll go to hell!” “if you don’t say ‘God bless them’ their condition will happen to you!” “if you don’t say ‘good yetho 2x’ (idek..) ‘your mom will die 5x’ you’ll die and forget how to read. “if you don’t put your arms up, look directly up at the ceiling because if you look down you’ll pray to the devil so you need to look up, and say ‘Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.’ you’ll go straight to hell!” or whenever I touch a wall, i need to touch it with my small finger because if I touch it twice with my pointer finger my body will go to hell. it’s an endless cycle, and what’s even worse is that I may never be able to get help. I’ll never get that life back that I wanna live, and it kills me. I’ve named most of the compulsions and obsessions I have and I have 18 compulsions that are physical and about 5 obsessions that I really don’t wanna name right now. anyway, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve done a lot of research regarding around disorders, and it’s safe to say that I may have OCD. Now, do i want ocd? absolutely not. however, there’s a family member in my family who has it. so the chances of me having it are strong, i don’t think I’m able to get better until I’m 18. an adult. I’m 12 years old, my mom has noticed my compulsions and me repeating certain words. but she does nothing, absolutely nothing. instead, she just argues with me over it. if I ever tell my mom to sit down and ask her about getting a test, she would probably call me the R-Slur and tell me I’m crazy. Therefore, I’m all alone in this situation with no one to help me. another obsession I have is about me catching cancer if I don’t do a compulsion or I might get paralyzed and get sleep paralysis. It’s so horrifying, there’s more obsessions and compulsions I have but I really don’t wanna name them right now. I cry almost every day because of how exhausted I am, and how much help i truly want to get but I don’t think I ever will. I’m unsure whether or not I have ocd, people tell me to get a diagnosis. but the situation I am in right now makes it impossible. i have no way of getting tested but I have a good feeling I have ocd, if you’re reading this, please try to give me your thoughts and what I should do, and if I even have OCD. Thanks! :))