- Date posted
- 7y
My ocd started during pride month and I heard many stories (on tick tock) that girls used to be boy crazy but then they realized the were lesbians. That scared the crap out of me, now I can’t get it out of my head!!!
Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
My ocd started during pride month and I heard many stories (on tick tock) that girls used to be boy crazy but then they realized the were lesbians. That scared the crap out of me, now I can’t get it out of my head!!!
I truly think this all comes from my childhood. Ive stumbled upon porn and damn that has ruined me. The doubt started small but like i knew i liked boys. But now... it has affected me to much. The doubt blew up and im lost. U know i hate that this goes in the way of me having a normal damn life and focussing on some real shit that matters like a jon or watever. Im litteraly out here ruining my teenage years and feeling like i have to come Out and feeling like im a damn lesbian . And u know, that thought doesnt even weird me out anymore??? And j freaking hate jt because if i heard myself saying this before hocd was in my life id laugh at myself. I even feel like i lost my femininity trough this. I canf feel sexy, pretty, elegant anything. I feel like a woman with a purple pixie cut who plays rock guitar and is lesbian while im truly sooo the opposite of that. I miss my old me so muuuch. She was tjis girl that dreamed about her man so innocently. I was so innocent like just here and being a girly girl and i loved that version of me. gosh i feel disgusting like these thoights in my head break me down. Im scared this will effect me forever. Even IF i get over this im scared that one day ill find a man and all of a sudden this returns and goes like, nope u like woman while im litteraly into the guy. Soo much fear. I feel like ill never be able to Love again without having something about my sexual orientation on my mind. What is this modern time doing to me??
TRIGGER WARNING-Contamination OCD Today started with a crazy amount of stress due to the intrusive thoughts. Have a huge issue with the toilet in general, especially the flushing without the cover on. My brain believes that bacteria and microbes in general will fly from there to me and my things, and causes a big amount of distress. I am trying to be logical with it and understand that nothing will happen. But even the thought of being covered in that makes me wanna clean everything I have and shower. Let’s be clear mum’s bleaches it every day, but still when she does and gets out to continue her chores I’m afraid she carries something that will get on me. I am sorry, this is gross to everybody, but I need to listen to voice of reason, as this is getting every day more difficult to handle.
Just saw a therapist. She isn’t familiar with POCD but she’s says I don’t have it. She says I have ocd and I have anxiety and sexual abuse trauma. I tried to show her and she still dismissed it.
Suffering from religious ocd
Something I worry about a lot is the fact that the SOOCD is my only persistent theme that occurs every single day from morning to night. Sometimes it goes into my gender but that’s not always. When I read other stories, people’s themes seem to change, or they’ve had other themes before SOOCD but I didn’t so I worry that it’s not really OCD and I never really know what to do.
So my bf wrote me a sweet paragraph and I’ve been having ocd bad for a few days (I’m on my period) and I feel guilty while reading it and get doubts if I love him and usually my brain will be like “ya I want to love him” but this time it’s not and I’m worried me wanting to love him is just Bc I feel bad to leave Bc he’s a good guy but I don’t feel that. And once in awhile my brain will be like “ya you love him” but it feels all real. Someone help
Please Help! After stopping Prozac I’m actually kind of scared. I stopped taking Prozac recently and I was on a very very low dose. And to be honest Prozac was actually helping me a lot with my anxiety. However I began feeling Apathetic after a while. So my Doctor told me to stop. BUT it’s been 5 days ever since I stopped and I think I’m having Withdrawal. My intrusive thoughts are coming in big time and I’m starting to feel scared, paranoid, depressed, and crazy. I think I’m getting new intrusive thoughts and I keep thinking what if my brain is talking to me and I’m developing schizophrenia or what if I go crazy and listen to the thoughts when I know they are not true. What should I do?
What’s the most pointless obsession you’ve ever had? Like anything that you feel most people don’t worry about, maybe not even other OCD people.
When you focus your attention on a specific task, your brain will keep throwing at you the same task over an over due to the reward system with which it operates. That's why when you make the focus of your life to get rid of anxiety, your brain will keep throwing more anxious scenarios to solve. Thus, people constantly locked on answering questions and getting rid of the anxiety are bound to undergo more of the same endlessly.
✋?TRIGGER WARNING!!! TRIGGER FOR HOCD!!! Today I my HOCD made me read some articles about the „coming out“ process and they said that the first step is the „confusion“ step, where you are confused and in denial and that this stage starts with the question „Am I really straight?“ and in one article they REALLY WROTE „it takes some people years to answer that question“ I‘m just freaking out!! I don‘t know what to do anymore! In that article they wrote that some people are shocked and scared to think that they are not gay and deny that they might be... I‘m almost crying, I feel so lost!!! ?
Anyone suffering from hocd ?
Scared of death? I am so terrified of dying or one of my loved ones dying. It depends on the situation and how stressed I am but it can range from me not flying, to me not driving long distance, It’s been extremely stormy recently and now my OCD has kicked in that one of us will get struck by lightening or it will struck a line near us and the house will catch on fire. For a while I’d leave the house and take my kids because I couldn’t handle hearing the thunder and seeing the lightening. I’m trying now to stay and face my fears with the storm at home right now and I’m loosing it. Crying, shaking, fidgeting.
How to accept uncertainty , can anyone throw some light on this , I'm freaking out
So this might get GRAPHIC and it will be a trigger for some people So i saw some video for hocd and the man said that imagining someone of the same sex and masturbating to it repeatedly might solve the issue and if somehow you ejaculated there is a problem with you So i tried it and after a lot of struggling i managed to ejaculate but it has become a constant reminder for me that i might have become gay Please HELP
I’m thinking a lot about my parents today, kind of feeling bitter about a lot of things, some old some recent. Like when my dad and I had an argument because i was having trouble taking care of myself and he sort of made an idle threat that he could have me declared incompetent, meaning that basically my entire life would be over before it even begins (I’m about to be 18, trying to move out before I turn 19). Like am I wrong for thinking that’s a messed up thing to say to someone who is struggling and just wants to get their life together. He said that he would never actually do this, but why bring it up other than to make it clear to me that he CAN ruin my life if he wants to? It just seems so weird to me sometimes my parents are trying to help me but they don’t really understand ocd enough to, and haven’t tried to understand it better that I have seen. I feel ungrateful for being mad at them, but at the same time, I resent that they neglected my mental health for such a long time, because my brothers problems were more obvious and outwardly destructive, so they kind of didn’t pay any attention to what was going on with me until it got so bad I tried to kill self, and then when I was in the hospital after trying to kill myself, and my dad called it a “little stunt” and me a “selfish spoiled brat” (which he still won’t admit that he actually said). I’m beginning to think that my dad is emotionally abusive but I can’t tell if I have just convinced myself that he’s the abuser when really it’s me. I don’t know. It’s rough. There’s a lot more examples of shit both my parents have done or said that sticks out, but this is already a fuckin novel so yeah. Not necessarily looking for any advice (I’ll take it if you got it though), just wanted to vent a little.
How do you guys deal with family members who don’t understand OCD well and try to take it upon themselves to fix your problems? I’m staying with my mom right now while I recover from a partial thyroidectomy, and the way she’s been acting is beginning to really mess with me. I understand she is doing these things because she cares but she isn’t listening to me and what I really need. The other day she decided it would be a good idea to trigger me on purpose trying to do “ERP”, which I haven’t yet started in a clinical setting and I am certainly not ready to do at home, much less without warning. I’d been doin really well that day up until then, managing my anxiety on my own, but I’d hit my limit at that point and decided to smoke some weed to calm down, at which my mom found it appropriate to say I was like an alcoholic jonesing for beer. I just wanted my medicine so I could calm down and not cry, which irritates my stitches a whole hell of a lot more than smoking does (I’m one of those people who can suppress the coughing). Idk I’m sorry that was long, the whole thing just makes me feel like shit about myself, maybe I’m just an addict after all but idk it just seemed a little unfair for her to basically screw with my mental illness, and then chastize me for wanting some relief. I realize smoking can irritate the stitches a little bit but it hurts a whole lot more when I cry. It’s worth mentioning that I have PTSD as well, partially due to how my mom acted when I was a young kid, and she doesn’t accommodate it the best.
Honestly, I’m just so confused. Is this really false attraction? There’s a girl at the doctors right now and she’s pretty. But I’m literally stressing over the fact that I could be lesbian and that’s why I think she’s pretty. And that I’m interested in her. This is so weird I hate it, it just feels so real like I’m just in denial and have been my whole life. But I swear I’ve never crushed on a girl, I would’ve noticed, I’ve never even fantasied. Why is this happening to me now? Idk i this is actually hocd or I just like girls.
Help! How do you do exposures without checking yourself for arousal? It seems impossible. Right now I’ll do anything to get rid of this HOCD.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life