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So on my fourth anniversary I told my gf I had HOCD. She’s bi and all and we discussed about the gay thoughts and the things that have been roaming through my head and I told that these were intrusive thoughts. She told me about her trying not to come out to her homophobic step dad and all that and it got me worried too! It made me start to think maybe that’s what it was all along but I called myself down as much as I can. She gave me an example of how a women checked her out when she was in the bathroom in college and I thought to myself “I do that to with the women I look at” during our time I didn’t want her to think I was gonna leave or ima turn gay or something like that cause I know it’s not how it works. I just don’t want her to think I’m gonna leave for some dude or just leave in general. I don’t want her to develop things to ruin our relationship and I don’t want it to happen to me either ): this is really hell on earth and I’m gonna seek help when I get the chance. Every time I think I’m doing great my mind thinks “yeah I’m gay” or “you’re in denial” and every time I think of a friend and things like that it goes to some really intrusive and explicit thoughts that I won’t say here and it made me uncomfortable to the point where I now feel nauseous. Though it’s self diagnosed knowing more about HOCD makes it more clear to what I have I just don’t want her to think it’s all made up! My brain tells me that just because of what I did when I was in kindergarten with another boy (which was an innocent kiss) I didn’t know what was going on and it makes me uncomfortable and makes my brain think I’m in denial. I try to tell myself that the things I’ve done in the past shouldn’t be reflected with what I do now. But I just want this to be over I want to be happy with my girlfriend and make her feel as great as she makes me. But I feel so guilty having these thoughts I just with I t was over. I’m happy she’s here to support me but I don’t want her to think of it all in the wrong was I just want her to know I’m going through something completely different then what she went through. I’m gonna do better not just for her but for myself too!

* I am really really sorry if this triggers anyone else. So please know before continuing to read that is is about worries of impulsive control and if this is something you worry do not continue to read * I am always worried about how I feel I carry out actions that I don’t want to do, however minor. I’ve always struggled to find someone who experiences the same. I do have a diagnosis of OCD. Today I looked up impulsive control and OCD. And it came up with this academic article about the link between OCD and Impulsive control disorders. It mentioned the link between this impulsive control disorder and ROCD. Which made me panic!!! As my OCD circles around the fear of cheating on my loving, incredible boyfriend. I couldn’t really understand what the article was saying and meaning though. Could I maybe post it for someone to read in the comments? Now I’m obviously panicking that I have his disorder and it means I really am out of control of myself and my actions. Meaning I could harm my cat or cheat on my boyfriend. For instance, last night I told myself to be careful as I was close to leaning on my cats paw. And then I leaned on it a wee bit. He didn’t yelp or anything but then he started to lick it which made me worry and think that means it hurt him. I would really appreciate a response on this post as I am panicking beyond belief

I just triggered my self so bad!! I was watching these videos of people telling their break up stories and one of them said a girl said “I realized I liked girls so I broke up with him” and another said “I was dating boys but really I like girls, I was sexually confused” and it triggered me so bad. I’m sweating and I’m getting the hot flashes. I hate this. It’s like if it was a sign.

Doing ERP on your own? Read this: http://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/self-directed-treatment-for-ocd-the-irony-of-doing-the-opposite

Hello all. My husband is experiencing OCD and PTSD. He’s been having very bad thoughts for a month now. His doctor prescribed Citalopram and he has been taking it for 5 days now. The pill make him very tired and anxious and he cannot sleep at night. I read in some articles that these feelings will go away after 1-2 week(s) and then he will start being happy again. Has anyone here experienced the same thing? Do you have any recommendations for me which would help me to support him better? I wanna see him happy again...

I have terrible anxiety at the moment brought on by a so called friend who has said awful things about me as she knows how sensitive I am. Why do people have to be so cruel? It is bringing on my ocd now.

Does anyone else cringe/feel uneasy at the thought of intimacy with their SO? I read an article that says that’s a sure fire way to know your relationship is over.

I’ll feel fine for a few weeks, then get a scary thought like “what if this isn’t real” or “what if this is a video game or made just for me” scary things that I stupidly read one time can indicate “psychosis” or things like that. Now I know it’s not truly psychosis as the thought scares me and isn’t a “belief” it is an anxious intrusive thought but my mind always is like “but what if you have other mental illness”. I’ve been told by countless psychologists that I have anxiety and occasional OCD thoughts. But my question is has anyone else experienced that before, and if so how did you get through it and not focus on it? The anxiety sucks because the body sensations that go with it, but it just makes me hypersensitive and overly aware of everything. Advice?

I don’t want to post the same things all the time but I’m having a shitty moment. I’m crying by myself in my room like I have everyday for so long. I’m so sick of thinking about my sexuality and sex every minute of everyday. Anything and everything becomes sexual evidence of some sort. I was doing something at work that involved pushing with my fingers and I had a thought of it being sexual. I’m terrified to ever be touched by anyone and I have no interest in any relationship ever anymore because I just want to be alone. I couldn’t even hug my best friend of 5 years without coming close to crying because I was scared. Scared of hugging my best friend! Everyday is the same, I do the same googling and watch the same videos and think up the same scenarios to test how I feel about them. The only thing stopping me from doing anything to myself is my parents. And every time I have a suicidal thought I go downstairs and see them and feel bad. The scariest part is I’m going to be home alone for a few weeks soon and I’m terrified. Again sorry for posting similar things all the time I just have nobody else.

I’m worried about ERP. I don’t have any physical compulsions, and struggle to see any mental ones either. I don’t feel scared about anything and uncertainty doesn’t bother me (I’ve accepted that if my relationship ends it’ll suck but I’d be ok) so if ERP is the best treatment for this- how will I ever get better? Does that mean it’s not OCD? I feel like I’m literally going insane!!!!

My OCD brain tells me if I don't do these mental rituals then this universe gonna be destroyed by some angry god and I'm responsible for this because I'm offending some god by living the life of my own terms,why OCD is so sickening by giving these threats???

No ‘what ifs’ anymore- just direct statements sometimes ‘you don’t love him’ sometimes ‘I don’t want to be with him’. I can’t see any hope of feeling better- I don’t even know if this is OCD. This isn’t how love is supposed to feel- how do I know if my partner just isn’t the one? I did have really intense anxiety but could still feel that love and desire to be with my SO but now- it seems to be fading away. No more anxiety, intrusive thoughts feel a bit muddled up rather than loud, aggressive, specific thoughts. Help :(

Dose anyone else feel embarrassed that they take medication for they’re mental health? as a little kid I used to think it was cool cause it made me different but now I’m ashamed of it. it makes me feel like I need meds just to feel normal . It makes me feel like I’m a crazy person and kinda upset with myself for not knowing how to control my OCD enough so I need meds to help.

I feel like I’m starting to deny my sexuality. Before this I never really thought about girls that way. Now I am and it terrifies me. It feels like I just don’t wanna accept that I’m lesbian. I’m so damn lost. It feels like I know I’m lesbian. But I just can’t be. Anyone feel this way? Probably reassurance but if any of you think I am or it seems like I am please tell me.

How open are you about your OCD?

I just spent the whole last two hours watching YouTube videos like „how to know you‘re lesbian“, „signs you’re lesbian“ and I‘m panicking right now so much like I can barely breath. HOCD, what did you do with my life ?

Hey guys ..I’m new to this . Had OCD since I was about 10 . I’m now 31 . Never ever have I ever admitted it before .but I’m a mum now and I’m terrified she will pick up my traits.i recent told a close friend of mine but that’s it .no one else . I dunno what I after really . A good start would be to know I’m not the only one out there .my OCD isn’t cleaning ..it’s the way I do things .. like how I turn a light switch impacts my whole day if “ it doesn’t feel right “ I do it over and over till it does .but the problem is .it never does !

I’m off on holiday with my boyfriend for our first trip away together on Friday. I should be really excited (and a small part of me is) but another part is worried this might be the thing that pushes me over the edge and into ending the relationship. From past experience with friends, I get quite irritable and just switch off. Does anyone have any similar experiences and how did you deal with them? I’m also no longer ‘what if-ing’- just statements ‘you don’t love him’, ‘this is over’ and last night got some physical ‘dropping’ sensations in my stomach which made these thoughts feel real. I’ve found him generally really annoying this weekend which has made me sad because really, he’s not done anything. I had such fight and determination in me 2 months ago that my relationship was what I wanted but now I’m really struggling to feel this. Tips?

About to send this to the love of my life: I don't think I'm healthy enough to be with you Jack. You deserve the best, and I may of been that at one point but I'm not now. I feel like I'm holding you back from so much you should be exploring/doing and that's selfish and unfair of me. You shouldn't have to worry about someone that is not in touch with reality, and feels crippling guilt for things she hasn't done. You have been so great, and supportive (more than anyone ever would in this situation). I know you love me, and I'll always love you. You have been the greatest joy in my life, but this isn't fair to you because the truth is even if I get better this may never go away entirely. You have done nothing wrong, but I can't live anymore like this. And you don't deserve to go through this kind of stress. You've had more darkness then anyone our age should go through already. You need light right now, and I don't think I can be that. If any part of you agrees with this; you know I'm right. I'm doing the right thing right?

Does anyone have an eating disorder and OCD?