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the NOCD Community

any tips on how to stop ruminating would be greatly appreciated !!!

I need some LGBT OCD support Okay so I have a cousin I’ve spent time with over the years and I just remembered a memory about her mentioning something homophobic. I remember me complaining about being gay once in 2017 and she had stated she had heard “a guy in her church claimed to have changed” I think this triggered me because now that I’m learning self-respect I know I don’t need to be around someone who doesn’t support me. Was she telling me to do it? Or was she just stating she heard that in her church? Was it conversion therapy or counseling or praying away the gay? So I asked her recently, I did end up asking for reassurance. Does she support conversion therapy? And she said No. she didn’t even know what it was apparently. And she said she is one of my biggest supporters, she does support me. But I still am obsessing about that small conversation wondering should I keep this relationship to maintain self-respect or what if she’s lying and she’s actually not supportive of me? What if she was telling me to change?

I was okay today w my bf. Still anxious and numb and a little uncomfortable, but was okay. I’m doing erp watching videos of women explaining comphet (signs you’re lesbian but society makes you think you’re straight) and I feel like I relate to them, even though before it never even crossed my mind and I felt so happy with my bf. So now I don’t know if I was just oblivious and lesbian the whole time, or my ocd is extremely good at trying to trick me. Cause now I’m doubting how “happy” I actually was

My head has been constantly pounded with intrusive thoughts to the point that I'm depressed, and the intrusive thoughts are still happening. I've got PTSD and severe OCD, please tell me there's a way to recover from this. I've tried so many things over many years and I'm still not better, I'm worse. I'm feeling very hopless, I keep throwing everything I've got at it but it's never enough.

My ocd is mainly around my faith so it pushes me away from God a lot how do I even talk to Him about it ?

My OCD has been running a little rampant for months. Most of my intrusive thoughts recently have been easier to decide as an intrusive thought but I’m starting to realize more and more how they’re deeply rooted in my trauma. I recently became incredibly uncomfortable in the presence of my brother because I was afraid he was attracted to me. TW: SA, intrusive thoughts related to incest/SA/RPE Recently I’ve been sharing a room with my 15yo brother. He is a football player, around 200lbs and 5’8. I’m 19, 98lbs and 5’1. Around 2 years ago he took a picture of my cleavage without asking. Needless to say, a lot of trust in him was lost. I’ve had very foul experiences with men in my life. My boyfriend (who suspected also has OCD) pointed out signs and said he felt uneasy around his presence. The other day he asked me if I was wearing pants under the blanket and offered his pants. I said no, I’m wearing pants. And that sent my mind spiraling. Thinking he was a creep or wanted to do something to harm me. I’ve been having bad intrusive thoughts about him harming me and they’ve even manifested in my dreams since I moved into the room beside him. I confronted my parents about it today (they’re not the most understanding) and they told him I basically called him a creep. We made up, but yeah. Bothers me. Kinda made me feel like I was falsely accusing him but like I really thought for a moment that he might hurt me. I often have intrusive thoughts or paranoia when going out anywhere of getting kidnapped, r/ped or beaten and it’s just a constant fear, I feel like I can’t trust any man I’m standing beside without my boyfriend there. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts that he’d even do things to me in my sleep/without consent, even though he’s never and been the most supportive person in my life. Another thing, I have constant intrusive thoughts that he’s cheating on me or is truly to hurt/manipulate my feelings, plotting things against me, stuff like that… I can decode them much easier now that our relationship is in a better place, but yeah. I hope that makes sense.. it’s been really hard. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it because I’m so scared of being called crazy. I really want therapy but can’t keep a job.. it’s been debilitating.

Hello all! I have harm ocd, anxiety, and depression. I feel I know exactly how to get through most thoughts because I’ve probably had exactly what you are thinking myself. So, if you have any questions or any problems that needs solved please comment and if I don’t have an answer maybe someone else who is reading this does!

How are people so confident? How do people talk to other people so easily? How do people have the courage to do stuff and just be brave about things? I don't understand any of that. I can't do any of those things. I've been dealing with low self esteem for a long time and I don't know how to fix it. I have no clue. How do people get through hard stuff they've been through and still remain with high self esteem, believe in themselves, and be confident?

My drinking is out of control and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m going to try to stop. It seems simple but it isn’t. The day after I feel so depressed and anxious. Any advice would be much appreciated

please I need help... I have been with rocd, hocd and a lot of sexual thoughts for several months. I currently have a wonderful boyfriend, who I love madly. However, days ago we talked about how it is natural to feel attracted to other people. Talking about this topic has made me even more upset. I continually analyze my thoughts and body sensations to find out whether or not I find someone attractive. The point is that today I was watching a video on tiktok. And in that video a boy appeared declaring his feelings to a girl who did not reciprocate. And I don't really know what I thought, I think I had a strange bodily sensation in my body, perhaps of affection, of affection. And then a thought/feeling of wanting to kiss him came into my head. This has been bothering me all day. I don't want to kiss anyone who isn't my boyfriend, and not just because I want to be faithful to him, but because I don't want to. But what if I'm just fooling myself? What if I am polyamorous? For me, attraction is simply that someone is your type but you don't want anything with that person nor do you feel the desire to kiss them or so on, for me that is when the attraction is greatest. And I don't experience that kind of attraction with someone other than my boyfriend. So why did I think that? The boy is cute but he's not my type either. If I think about kissing him it makes me uncomfortable. Don't know. I don't know if it's occult or if it's not. I need help, because I need to know what OCD is so I can stay calm, or else I will feel like I have no control over my life again. I don't want to continue suffering.

I just can't stop feeling depressed and down. It's not really about anything in particular but I am just so depressed all the time. The small, rare periods where I feel genuinely happy I want to cling onto because I love how I feel in those times. But in general I am so down, just so not happy at all. I feel like I will never be truly happy no matter what. Then I think about how I am working towards my career goals and I'm like what's the point? Why am I doing this? What's the purpose. I'm just so unhappy.

The past month has been hell for me, I can’t express it enough Every day I live with the fear that I have schizophrenia/am hallucinating 1. Sometimes to hear my name being called from downstairs, even though my mom never called me 2. Sometimes hear random noises (idk if they r real or not, just makes me panic again) 3. Sometimes have little visual disturbances 4. OCD got worse Idk wtf to do, I am 100% sure I am in the prodromal stage of schizophrenia

I have the urge to hurt myself and I don’t know if it’s me or my ocd honestly I feel crazy and not in control of how I feel.my thoughts keep racing.i want to cry but I’m not a cryer so I’m just keeping it in

Just curious if anyone here has any success recovering from OCD without medication? I'm about 3 months post meds and having a tough day and it's making me second guess my decision. I will say I'm 7 wk pregnant and think feeling so sick and anxious about having my first is playing a part.

when i was younger i had symptoms of pshyopaths and now im scared that im one does anyone know if i had those symptoms does that mean im one im scared?

I was diagnosed with OCD eleven years ago. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD combined type as well. I was put on adderall and it seems to help with the OCD as well. However, I forgot to take it yesterday and felt like my world was falling apart. The bad ocd intrusive thoughts were rearing their head and felt like my life was falling apart. Has anyone else experienced this? Or does anyone else have these two diagnosis? How do you cope with it? I just wish someone else could understand because honestly I feel so alone sometimes. I’m married and I feel like such a failure. I cause so much stress and turmoil in my marriage. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up daily.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. This past year we were at the best place we have ever been which honestly isn’t saying too because we’ve always had a pretty healthy relationship but last year we took a lot of big steps together. Moving in together, spending more time with each other’s family, sharing milestones like graduation with each other and our families. At some point I started getting real nit picky. Analyzing everything that he did. Constantly checking if I found him attractive. Comparing him and our relationship to what people around us looked like. It started to feel like everything he did I found a flaw in and it made me feel horrible. I’m with the best guy ever and he is so dedicated and loving. I would push these thoughts away, try and pray them away and that would work for a while. Eventually it felt like I was going insane. Things that I never( in all my years of dating) cared about now seemed to be all that I could focus on. I started measuring my attraction to everyone ( people who before this I never even gave a second thought to). I just wish I knew why it’s like this now or what triggered the intrusive thoughts. It makes me wonder if I’m settling but then I don’t feel like anything about him could ever be considered settling. I’m constantly praying for a sign or divine intervention. It wasn’t until I stumbled across a TikTok post that described Relationship Anxiety that I finally felt seen, like to a T every detail described what I’ve been feeling and doing. I’m not sure how ROCD differers from Relationship Anxiety but I’m hoping that by finally sharing and not holding this all in I can start to face and conquer this.

Has anyone else had an initial struggle getting diagnosed? What themes did you have that you feel can be overlooked by psychiatrists? I’ve found that the 2 psychiatrists to whom I’ve spoken had a very limited knowledge of the range of OCD themes and compulsions. It’s been very discouraging, but my bestie who’s diagnosed has been encouraging me to seek a specialist. I’d love to hear anyone’s story! :)

The first semester of my first year at university was horrible. My ocd was the worst it has ever been. I was anxious and depressed all of the time. It was a huge adjustment for me. I feel like people talk of university as the best years of their life and the fact that I was not having a good time stressed me out. That and also the class work and finding friends etc. slowly I got back on track and I had a really good Christmas break. I really needed it and I got put on some medication. But now I am back at school. It is my first day here and I am kind of excited, it’s like I get to start over. But I am super anxious too. I don’t want my mental health to get that bad again. I am really scared. And I think I have unrealistic expectations for this semester as well. What if not reaching them causes me to hit Rick bottom again.

I’ve been struggling with mental health for a while. I’ve seen a few therapists and psychiatrists over the last three years hoping for some diagnosis to give me direction on how to improve my mental state. I’ve also tried several medications, most just making my anxiety worse. At this point I don’t even know what I’ve been diagnosed with, if anything. My last talk therapist blamed all my symptoms on PMDD and dismissed me every time I would bring up another perspective of my symptoms and thoughts that I may have something other than childhood trauma and PMDD. I continued to see her questioning myself and slowly realizing that I was becoming so focused on finding a diagnosis that I needed to just focus on feeling better and being able to function day to day. Then I realized that some of the advice she gave me was not helpful and it actually made my family situation worse. Then there were scheduling conflicts repeatedly and when I needed therapy the most I couldn’t go for one reason or another. So I got burnt out on therapy too and I’m not currently seeing anyone. During a session with my last psychiatrist a few months ago she casually asked me how my OCD was, even though we had never discussed OCD before and it had never even been mentioned. This was the first time I had ever heard anyone bring this up to me. After I did some research I do feel as if I can fit in an OCD box but when I start breaking down all of my symptoms and behaviors I fell like I can fit into a lot of different boxes. Man is it exhausting.