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the NOCD Community

What medicines do you all take that help with your OCD?

This is my first serious relationship and it has been amazing. I love him so much. I have just recently started to have extreme doubts and urges to break up. I cant even be with him without having extreme, horrible panic attacks. I have only been able to be intimate with him twice and during both times it was extremely hard. I feel so disconnected from him and myself. Im driving myself crazy. I want to have him, myself and our love back. I feel like I am just hurting him and I dont deserve him. This is so hard because no matter what you say to yourself to reassure they are just thoughts there is always a what if. Its gotten so bad im staying at my parents and cant do school work. I was only able to be with my boyfriend for 2 hours today before I was on the verge of a panic attack. If you relate please let me know im not alone. I feel so alone and trapped right now.

I’ve been struggling a lot recently with my anxiety and ruminating about a health issue that I’m reminded almost constantly about. Has anyone dealt with this type of thing and if so how did you manage? I’m used to more intrusive thoughts and “pure” OCD but this is different. 😩

Having ocd makes me always think the worst and that the only explanation is that I did something horrible. I have had 2 incidents over the years that have made my life miserable. I guess they are real events and possibly false memories as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I went about my morning tasks. When I went back upstairs to my room he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 so he could talk but not fully yet and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪The other was years later when my daughter was younger she used to crawl into bed with me at night alot. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy” and I was really tired so I just remember saying “sorry” and moving over and going back to sleep. I know it was probably nothing more than I just rolled over on her or something like that but my ocd keeps telling me I must have done something horrible. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd tells me maybe I was drinking and just don’t remember doing something horrible . People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do and say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes the worst possible scenario out of everything and makes me hate myself and living. 😞

Ive gotten over some bad ocd episodes that have lasted months and months and i was so so happy when i realized it was achievable to overcome such an illness,but this time around it feels different i thought i had gone through everything but no theres always more,theres always the next intrusive thought,my intrusive thought this time that got me back in the dark ocd hole was,”what if i just stopped thinking”,it sounds so stupid and i didnt pay it much mind at first but then it popped back into my head and it told me “but what if everytime im about to think about something,i realize it and stop thinking about what i was thinking about.”this has made me feel so alienated in life,life feels grey and dull ive never had a thought stick around for so long its been 3 months and i havent heard anyone have anything similar too this i wake up every day scared of whag else my mind can bring to me to torment me and its so depressing in here.i cry a lot now thinking about the old me i used to be when i was happy and ocd free but I genuinely dont think i can live like this for long.Sorry for writing a whole essay but its the only way i could express what im feeling right now plz say something below.

How do I cope with intrusive thoughts that are provoked by things that are out of my control? Like if if I see someone I know. That’s out of my control. But it adds to my thoughts and fears no matter what. How do I know whether the thoughts I have are real or fake. It’s killing me I just wanna be happy

My son has been diagnosed with OCD, but the therapist that we are seeing doesn’t specialize in OCD. They put him on medication that caused severe side effects. After we stopped the medication, they just seem to almost wash their hands of the situation. This is a center with therapists, psychiatrists, an inpatient unit, a detox, a built-in pharmacy, etc. Yet, they can’t help my child unles it’s through medication. I’m fine with meds if they improve quality of life, but they harmed my child when he tried their first line of defense med for OCD in children. The other meds are in the same class, and we just can’t risk what happened to happen again. Just a little while ago my son and his dad were playing a video game. I guess my son hit a wrong button by mistake. This sent him on a loop of having to reset the game a handful of times. He needed my husband to reset his end of the game too. My husband didn’t understand what was happening, and this led to more emotion and frustration from my son. At this point my husband is upset, so I come in to defuse the situation. I’ve learned that the calmer I am, the better. My husband is trying, but he gets overwhelmed with the behavior. This is our life on repeat. I am so afraid for my child. We need help. Does anyone have any advice in dealing with OCD in children. I just want my son comfortable and happy again. Thank you, Christine

tried eating some chips after more than a year of avoiding them (fearing something bad will happen if i do) and got extremely anxious so i left gc with my friends for 5 days and forbade myself from texting my wife until tomorrow to “balance” it. this is actually so fucked up but i can’t stop these thoughts, i don’t feel like i’m in control at all

I have serious contamination OCD where I put some hand sanitizer on my lips yesterday. I felt my lips were contaminated. Will I die from doing this? I quickly put carmax on my lips right after it. What will happen to me. I need help.

I kind of wanted to try to be social and talk to people in college this semester, and in my online class we have a discussion thread to respond to a discussion topic and chat with people in our class. I asked my instructor if I could also invite people to study with me on this first week's discussion thread, and he said yes. So, I wrote my answer to the prompt and then I also wrote this to go after it. What do you think about it? If you saw something like this in an online class, would you consider it? Is there anything I should change or remove, and if so why? Is there anything that you would personally like to see that might persuade you to study with/talk to someone? "[RESPONSE TO TOPIC...] Also, if anyone wants to study, or if you just want a peer to chat with about college or otherwise, feel free to message me through my email. If there is a communication method that works better for you, then message me and we can discuss that! And good luck this semester, everybody!" Also, on top of the invitation in the discussion thread, I'm considering sending emails to the people in my class inviting them as well. And I'm asking the same questions to you guys that I am about the invitation in the discussion thread, but about if you got an email like this: "Hello! My name is [NAME], and you might have seen what I said in this week's discussion, but I thought I would also individually reach out to [you/people]. If you want to study, or if you just want a peer to chat with about college or otherwise, feel free to message me through my email. If you are fine and don't need to study, then feel free to disregard this email. If there is a communication method that works better for you, then let me know and we can discuss that! And good luck this semester!" Or is the email to everyone too much? Should I just not do that, at least not for right now, and maybe do that later in the semester if I feel like my invite in the discussion thread was overlooked? Or should I do the email -- will it make people feel like they are special? Or will it just be annoying? What would you think if you got a similar email? Would having the invite in both the discussion thread and individually to people's emails be redundant? And thank you in advance if you read this far. I just feel like I get too caught up trying to figure out what will make people want to have a conversation with me, and I keep adding things to try to show people that they can talk to me, but people don't usually talk to me for long and then I feel like I'm not welcoming enough...

Yesterday was my birthday. My mom didn't call me on my birthday. When do you outgrow this type of hurt?

After many years of thinking I might have ocd, it’s official. It is nice to feel seen and to have an answer finally but it’s also really scary, mostly because I’m about to start Prozac and I’ve never taken any mental health medications. Anyone have experiences to share? I’m so scared of the side effects but I know I need to start something. My provider suggested finding a support group as I have no family and friends to support me during this time, right now I’m feeling very scared and alone 😔

I can’t do this. I feel like I’m never going to have a normal life. I feel like all my friends are being fake to me is this even part of OCD? I just feel like my life is a complete sham. I don’t think I’ll ever have a normal life to where I can be open and honest with people in my life; I’m almost just wanting to delete all social media and go ghost to the world 😢

Have you guys ever been on a couple dates and out of nowhere they say they are not feeling it. Like basically ghost you. My OCD want me to get and answer on what I did wrong or etc. I sent out one message but I am restraining myself to give in my compulsions to find an answer. It’s hurts so much 😢

Can hocd start by false attraction, urge , sensations or just a thought pops up in the mind ?

im scared again that it’s not ocd and i actually think like this. i can’t get out of bed

For reference, I have some trauma and immense regret of sexting another male at a very young age, (my freshman year of high school), given I was still new to the whole idea of dating and sexual activities, all I knew at the time was that I had a crippling porn addiction and caused me to act out of line from time to time. When I was sexting with him, as gross and disgusting as it seems, I want attracted to him as a person or the idea of him at all…it was more like I just simply enjoyed sexting. Given this issue got out and it caused immense trauma and caused me to isolate extremely because I knew I wasn’t gay nor wanted to be. Same goes for bisexual. I simply couldn’t understand why I would do such an act if I didn’t find the person attractive to begin with and would never EVER act out sexually towards a man. The issue now is, I’m terrified of social media, (where this took place), I’m afraid of what if I do the same thing again…what if I actually want it this time. What if I’m actually gay now because of it…it has traumatized me for so so so long and I don’t know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.

I’ve been having what I think is relationship ocd. It started the other day when my boyfriend bought a car literally in my sleep. We don’t live together but we talk everyday before bed. He says the opportunity presented itself after I had gone to bed and he went to pick up the car with one of his friends last at night. Now, I always thought him and I communicated very well and clearly with each other. So I was upset that he didn’t even send me a text about his plans to go pick up this car in the middle of the night. A huge fight broke out and it triggered me to feel unsafe and doubtful of my relationship. He never does anything wrong, this was the first thing I could honestly say I was very very very angry about. To some it might not be a big deal but like I said, I thought him and I had good communication habits between ourselves. Since then, I’ve been contemplating whether I even want to be with him or not. Despite loving him. I also felt bad about being harsh with him because again, he’s a really good guy. Anyway, today is my birthday. Because I work today, my boyfriend and my family and I went to celebrate my birthday on Saturday with a brunch. (That’s important to the story) Comes today, my actual birthday, my boyfriend didn’t say anything. No text, no call, no post, nothing. He started talking to me like normal. I then tell him that he seemed to have forgotten what day was today and he said “no I didn’t forget, I’m going to your house later to set up” I then express how unimportant he’s been making me feel and he explained that in his brain he didn’t think of saying happy birthday and forgot to say happy birthday because we celebrated on Saturday. Please help, I’m having really relationship issues and it’s mixing with what I think is relationship ocd.

I feel like giving up. I can’t help but feel like a horrible person. I was playing basketball with one of my students and thought if I try to swipe the ball I may hit her gr***. I still swiped to get the ball… I feel as though I am a horrible person.. Then similarly today I was walking and one of my students came by me and I thought how my purse could also hit her gr***. Yet, I still let it keep swinging but freaked out and wanted it to stop. I can’t remember exactly if I like grab the purse and quickly put it on the table or what… but I know it freaked me out.

Hey,can someone help..is Hocd make me feel very stressful when I want to date a girl or to have something with a girl..I never had something like this I’ve been in a relationship for almost 5 years(we broke up)and now since I have these thoughts I feel extremely stressed when someone asks me something like “is there any girl”and the thoughts are going again..like “how to tell that im gay how to tell that I’m attracted to boys(i don’t want this thoughts) and I’m very stressed about this I don’t want to have this I really want to let this thing go..and I just don’t know what’s happening’s..sorry for the English guys