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How do I stop engaging with the thoughts or stop ruminating when I can barely think of anything else without it turning into something it’s not?

I was able to see behind the emotions and i remember that my problem started when i felt like i question God's trust. I noticed it too when everytime i had to sing a christian music where "trusting in God" was mentioned, i felt like i dont actually fully trust in Him, and i felt guilt that im not an actual christian, it went to a huge guilt and then everytime i heard about trust i felt anger. Ofcourse trying at first to see whats the problem wasnt effective, cause i thought theres a deeper problem, for me alot of times seeing the problem deeply just makes things worse cause i feel like i just follow the emotions, like seeing the deeper real problem just makes me lost and then depressed or i panic more and more cause i get lost in the rabbit hole... But now i was able to kinda see where it started. And i saw that when things get really bad, and i dont mean a little mistake, no, i mean illness, pain, suffering and all that, i get lost in it and then i feel like the things i have in my mind like "trust the Lord, He is trustworthy, He will help you" it doesn't really match with the reality im in. And then i have thoughts of questioning God, idk if these are really me or ocd but i dont like them, but at the same time i do feel like the two things doesnt really match. I read about this alot, what to do when it seems like God wont help you, but i dont like the answers, i think people just made these up to not suffer... some say accept that its for the greater good or its God's will, and it hurts me the most but can't accept that my death or the death of someone else in my family would help someone that i dont even know... If God is really love i dont think He would ever do that to any of His children... Imagine parents who leaves one of their child home alone just to take the other one somewhere cause "its best for the greater good". Of course the child will feel hurt and angry at the parents. Idk i have this in me that okay you can use my suffering to help others if it makes me stronger and i can help others. But to suffer and die, it doesnt makes me stronger, and it hurts my family too, and i want to live, i have many plans for my life. So if it would be taken away i would be sad and angry... This also makes me feel bad about myself cause then i remember that my life is not mine and im afraid that im rebelling against God, but i do not like this christian view that you have to throw away your life, you have to give it to God, its not yours, every bad thing that happen its because God allowed it for a greater good and you have to accept it cause this life is a test and in heaven you will be rewarded if you go through this... idk if you feel the same but this makes you not even try in this life. Like whatever... im focused on heaven... you can see this everywhere on the christian social medias. I dont like it, i think the "Give it to God" like do not worry so much about your things cause worry makes you not be aware and able to deal with the problem. Just accepting that im dying cause got thinks its best for others makes me depressed and more angry... i still dont know why He still allows suffering, like when its bc of sin its normal, but many times suffering can even come without sin, you can do everything good and it still comes... It really hurts me to think that i dont trust God, and it makes me feem guilt and depressed... i want to see it as an ocd problem but everytime a great suffering comes i just feel like what i learned about God doesnt match with the reality... I always want to learn more and more and be greater than i am today, but people scare me when they say this is what satan wanted too... I get lost in this and then i dont see whats the real problem, and i dont want to accept that i dont trust in God. When i try to work with this i always feel that its not possible, we are humans and we will always feel that we cant trust God, and im afraid i will never be able to go through this...

Please someone help me i dont want to leave my bed i feel so worthless. I hate my life so much i really do. After what happened last night (my setback) i feel absolutely haunted with my thoughts flooding in. I wonder what is the point in living anymore.

Have you had nights where you didnt sleep completely because of the hocd ? I didnt sleep the whole night yesterday 💔

My husband and I have a sensitive relationship for the last two years and I’m in therapy for my ROCD. Tonight he was out with friends and was going to stay the night. and not texting me back soon enough and I got triggered thinking he was with someone else and wants to leave me. I was crying and screaming to myself. He eventually called and reassured me that he wasn’t with someone else. I’ve never had an episode this intense. Could therapy be making it worse ? And what are some ways to cope so we don’t have to involve our loved ones during episodes

Hello I am a 27 year old male who has battling with very aggressive intrusive thoughts, it is not letting me sleep or not letting me live my everyday life because I feel as if I could hurt myself or someone else, can someone please help me out, ever since I got the flu I haven’t been the same, I was rushed to the emergency room thinking I was going to have a heart attack, they just pumped me with Ativan and gave me a prescription, but I’m also a very heavy drinker at night, and when I drink heavy and wake up the next day, I have uncontrollable thoughts and anxiety all day! Someone please help me!

i had a harm thought at like 10 pm that was like “i have to…” and it really freaked me out and now i can’t stop thinking about it and i cant sleep idk what to do now my brain just keeps repeating it and it’s really scaring me what do i do

I struggle most with harm OCD+real event+false memories. The mental rumination gets exhausting. I constantly beat myself up over past mistakes and will fill in the pieces I don’t remember with the worst case scenario. I self soothe by reminding myself I am not a bad person and my worries are disproportionate to the actual situation due to the fact I struggle with OCD. But I quickly get interrupted with an intrusive thought telling me “it is that bad and you’re pinning it as OCD to down play it and avoid accountability”. Anyone else struggle with this?

I guess this post is just a rummage of thoughts. I have been wondering lately as to why some people respond well to medication and others do not. Im also very curious as to the real reason SSRI's work. Could there possibly be a hormone it works on that hasn't been found yet. Im not buying the seratonin theory. First, Psychiatrist are not doing bloodwork to see peoples seratonin levels before prescribing drugs. 2.) If it just low seratonin why does SSRI's not cure OCD? A lot of people who take SSRI'S only see a mild decrease in symptoms. Even at high dosages.Im interested in the data coming out on GABA. If they can see that the brain behaves abnormal during screenings what is causing so much misfiring. Why do some people develop it as children, while others have an onset later in life? Besides Pandas. More importantly for children who contract it during strep, why does it normalize. Its weird that one bout of strep could permanently damage your brain, especially one that is still forming. I would have thought it would autocorrect. Why are more women diagnosed than men? Like I said just thinking.

By now I ignore any worry I’m able to because I want to be happy. The cost of ignoring the worries is I make bad decisions without thinking and it stresses out me and others around me more. The icing on top of the cake is the worries I actually ignore are important. Has anyone been here?

I hate to admit this but I used to watch a lot of porn. I always had crushes on boys and wanted a boyfriend all my life. And I indentified as heterosexual. I’ve had this theme twice and gotten over when another theme took over. Unfortunately I watched a lot of female porn, and woman to woman porn and now my mind is telling me I’m bisexual. I’m so sick of this cus I don’t wanna be bisexual. I get false attractions all around. Am I suppressing sexuality? I feel so ashamed. Completely stopped watched porn.

So I really need to do some cleaning in my room and the mess is so overwhelming that I'm not sure where to start. Like there's trash and clothes all over the floor, there dishes all over my room. Plus my bed is covered in clothes that I can't tell if there clean or dirty. I've tried cleaning by category ( ex trash, laundry, dishes) and it only helps for a few minutes then I get distracted by another task. So does anyone have any advice on where to get started? At this point I'm open to anything.

Does anyone else struggle with always searching for something to be wrong, especially in good times? When things are good or I get good news I am looking for the next terrible possibility.

I experience OCD in what feels like cycles. I have a couple of good days or weeks and then something out of the blue will trigger a flare up. I’m just wondering if anyone else goes through the same thing or if it’s kind of a constant state for you.

I'm paranoid that I have several things neurologically wrong with me, and my psychiatric NP made me feel so insulted and infantilized this week at our appointment that it triggered an extreme OCD episode that I've been stuck in all week. I'm dumping him, obviously, and I'm trying to get in with a psychiatrist ASAP. My father and I are being more serious than ever about getting me help. It's been an extremely tough week. I feel absolutely insane and psychotic for believing everything my OCD is telling me, but I can't turn it off, and I feel like everything I do to try and help myself is just a mental compulsion. I don't know what to think anymore, and I don't know when this episode will end. I miss feeling like myself. I feel like a completely different person and it's both horrifying and embarrassing.

i keep getting thoughts of molesting/ doing sexual things to people (that i’m close to) and children, every-time this happens I extremely disturbed and have panic attacks bc i’m a horrible person. i’m honestly just contemplating just k*lling myself because i feel like a disgusting p3do who doesn’t deserve anything in life. i’m already diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i’m not sure if this is OCD or not. i hate my self so much- this thoughts won’t stop happening and i never want to do anything like that ever. :/. i’m not sure what to do, i’ve talked to my therapist but none of her methods worked on how to stop these thoughts.

I was in the back seat of the car and my granda was directly in front of me and my little sister was standing up directly in front of me and so she bend over for something and her bottom touched my knee i am absolutely freaking out i feel like my life is over 😣

I had these horrible nightmares that covered the most disturbing of my ocd subtypes and intrusive thoughts. They were so vivid and all disturbing and I just woke up. Thoughts of what if it’s something you want or other what ifs. And I’m so uncomfortable which is an understatement. I don’t even want up get up because I’m so uncomfortable. This is awful

This is a question for more experienced people, and maybe sounds like a no-brainer, but I find that my compulsions happen so fast that I have no time to even think about not doing them. Especially since my intrusive thoughts appear quickly and more so as ideas than actual words, I find myself already in a compulsion (like reassurance, distraction, memory compulsion) before I can do anything else. I’m not sure how to stop them because they seem like such a habit. Any tips for how I can manage this?

Is it normal to have moments where it feels so real? Like where it feels like you’re fantasizing and you’re enjoying it and you like all of this? But I know there’s nothing there. There’s no desire to be this person. I don’t want or like this. I feel like I’m voluntarily doing this and bringing it on. There’s people saying they want to throw up on here because of this and I feel like I’m not as worried. But I worry every day. I saw someone say people who actually are that person can be distressed but not disgusted and I’m worried that that’s me. But it is disgusting. It’s both disgusting and distressing but I’m worried that I’m not reacting how someone who’s really disgusted would. But at the same time I know it’s not real, it’s not me at all so I feel like I don’t react as much. I literally have no attraction to children. There’s no part of me that wants that I feel absolutely nothing for them in an inappropriate way. My only feelings are that I want them to be happy and enjoy childhood and never ever be hurt by evil people who are actually that. I can’t imagine harming ANYONE. But it’s really confusing how I know this and tell myself this but then I’ll have images pop up and thoughts that feel like I’m into it and thoughts that sound like I’m making sick jokes. It’s so hard to keep up with and I know I care I think I’m just so tired of it. I hope it’s just pocd. I hope I can get a therapist this year. I’m afraid to do anything with my life.