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Anybody relate to having dreams about what they’re obsessing about, like SO-OCD. I just had a dream like that and it was so disturbing. Even in the dream, it felt like I was doing compulsion after compulsion. I’m just tired

My new theme is existential ocd and I was doing okay-ish this week until I saw a tik tok last night about death and after death communication and it sent me on a downwards spiral of needing to constantly research and google what happens when we die again and honestly just makes me feel sad in general about it all because of the uncertainty. I feel so disconnected from everyone and I feel scared to even be alone. I have to work tommorow and feel like crying. Then my relationship ocd added with the already feeling disconnected from everyone makes me scared about what if I don't love my partner or like him and it makes me even more distressed. Im so tired of feeling like this, I've had different themes since I was 7 and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm so sad. I had the worst mental breakdown in decemeber and I still don't think I've fully recovered. I'm on new antidepressants but I'm still sad. I feel I'll never enjoy anything because it'll always be clouded by ocd. This is honestly more of a vent post more than anything but ahh im so tired.

does anyone ever struggle with intrusive thoughts and even feelings of your spouse or SO dying suddenly? it’s been a theme for me the past few weeks and i’m not sure what’s causing it. he’s perfectly healthy and fine but it’s been so intense that i’ll just sit there and cry and cry and feel such intense grief.

i think what’s keeping me from getting better is that it feels too real and i desperately feel like i need to get rid of the thoughts and prove them wrong so i don’t become them, but like, it never made me feel better. and i saw a lot of stuff on reddit with people who are miserable because they didn’t try or get treatment and it makes me want to change so i don’t become like those people on reddit. reddit in total is so triggering and negative and so many cynics and losers spend all their time there and now i think im ready to just not become that. so im gonna try. as im writing this the thoughts are bombarding me telling me that im wrong or im in denial and these thoughts are the truth and i am lying to myself. but i know ocds tricks and im ready to feel better. ima have hope.

Anyone ever have anxiety so intense you are on the verge of tears around people? Lately my anxiety has been so debilitating. As soon as I wake up, my ROCD thoughts are racing, until I go to sleep. Honestly, I am getting tired of fighting this anxiety, 24/7. This OCD and anxiety is taking away any pleasure or peace I used to feel. Going on day 7 tomorrow morning. This isn't a life to live at all, nobody knows I'm struggling, not even my girlfriend.

how do i know if something is false attraction or genuine attraction? is there anyway to figure this out?

I have had ocd since I was about 11, but just recently was diagnosed with it. My current obsession is that I could be a narcissist. I do have some narcissistic tendencies, but I read that everyone does. I would say I have empathy, I get incredibly sad whenever my family fights, I can't see people cry… I have the urge to hug them. I love listening to people and helping them … but then I also snap at people and I sometimes get jealous, I don’t think i am better than everyone, not in the slightest, I genuinely feel like I don’t deserve the life I have, but the other day I basically had a thought that I was better looking than my cousin. I am so scared to be a narcissist because I don’t want to hurt the people I love and I also don’t want to be manipulative, I want to be a good person. l

Starting a new job, and have to look for a new place to live. Feel like my anxiety is out of control. Afraid im going to lose control or sleep walk which I don’t do. Scared. Involves hard ocd I hate this.

Dating with OCD was hard, but having broken up with OCD is even worse. I broke up with my ex after he ditched me at a party and accused me of cheating. (I never cheated, I wouldn’t flirt with another guy or cheat whatsoever). He was a consistent liar which I also didn’t like. We were on good terms for a while until two months after we broke up. He stopped talking to me and started pretending I don’t exist. I can’t avoid him because I have to see him everyday, unfortunately. He went out of his way to tell me he’s “seeing” someone. I struggle to let go with things and he was my best friend for two-ish years before we dated for a year. To watch him stop caring about me so quickly has made me miserable. I still care about him but it’s clear he doesn’t care about me. I keep crying and checking things over and over again. It feels uncontrollable. I don’t know how to make this stop. Or how to feel better. I feel so alone and I don’t know how to get over it.

One of my most persistent symptoms of OCD is being convinced that I have some kind of severe or terminal illness. I've had so many appointments (that have picked up a few things but nothing that's been a death sentence). Every ache, symptom, I'm absolutely convinced something is wrong. Then I'll get it checked out, and it's normal. Or I'll feel a sensation like earlier I felt a sharp pain in my stomach when I pressed the upper part of it, CONVINCED its stomach cancer. And then I burped and I'm perfectly fine. I get so intensely wrapped in worry, and then later on I see I completely made everything up. It's so exhausting.

I really hate being forced to socialize with people, specifically family members who genuinely do nothing but gaslight you with their narcissistic behavior. My OCD comes with anxiety.. I never feel like I’m enough, I always have this need to prove I don’t need help because anytime I came across vulnerable, I was treated like I was a problem but I feel like I’m forced to baby feed my own MOTHER who refuses to get help with her OWN OCD. I just can’t rn. I don’t know if I’m venting or having ruminating thoughts about having to mask how I feel when I’m CONSTANTLY feeling like my feelings don’t matter to a person that thinks her feelings are the ONLY ones that are relevant. Someone please read this so I can get a better understanding of how to deal with being overstimulated by being FORCED to socialize in a FAKE environment.

I feel like giving up. I don’t want to but it’s so hard and the only person that can make it better is me. But I’ve given up so many things that are important to me because of my OCD. I’ve isolated myself so much and given up on my dreams because of all this fear. Sometimes I feel like I need to protect everyone else from me and my doubts and insecurities. I feel like I’m hurting everyone or have the potential to let everyone down. I hate this.

I've always had my intrusive thoughts follow me into my dreams but recently the WORST intrusive thoughts literally play out in my dreams and I don't know what to do with myself. I can't tell anyone what the dreams were about... I can't even write it down its so bad. It's just stuck in my head forever and giving me more reasons to hate myself.

the obsession got so bad that i just cant tell if i am still ocd or just accepting my fate and becoming what i fear most. i cant tell whats going on anymore. im numb, i dont feel like this is a dire situation for my morals anymore, im just so apathetic now. i dont even know what im feeling, if i want these things or not, i dont know

My ocd always makes me think the worst and tells me that the only explanation for things is that I did something horrible. I had an incident years ago that has made my life miserable. I guess it’s a real event and possibly false memory as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I put my daughter on the school bus and went back upstairs to my room and he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something so horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd brings it back up and tells me maybe I was drinking and did something to him and just don’t remember. People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these kinds of situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do and say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes me believe I did something horrible and makes me hate myself and living. 😞

Anyone here have times where anxiety symptoms affect ability to talk and thoughts. Like you mispeak a lot and have difficulty concentrating? Feels like you mind is deteriorating on the spot? Also I've noticed I have been repeatedly touching my face and pulling my hair more. My left cheek also feels like it is numb but nothing is wrong medically with me

Has anyone who started ERP therapy felt that your ocd or anxiety has gotten worse (at first) before it gets better?

I’m crying as I’m typing this and drinking because my ocd has convinced me I raped my friend 5 times. She doesn’t believe me. It’s because she was asleep for 4 out of the 5 times and it’s killing me. It’s strangling me that I might’ve done these heinous acts. I feel sick to my stomach. I’m scared I’m so scared because I DONT WANT TO RAPE ANYONE. And my brain is telling me I did it and I believe my brain I believe it I believe it happened and I’m scared I’m so scared please please please help me I’m so scared

Ive been struggling with keeping myself from not snowballing bad thoughts and memories since a night ago and rn i was having such a good time with my family :( i was playing games with my sibling and watching game play of a game we like i was talking with my other sibling i was having such a good time but then my brain reminded me “hey you cant have fun you’ve done so many bad things you shouldn’t be having a good time” and i felt so sad-i still feel sad-i feel gross and ugly and disgusting-why cant i just be happy? To the ppl that some how worked through this kinda thing how did you do it? How do you cope? how do you remind yourself to be happy?

I cry everyday thinking of things. Please help and share if this is truly what OCD does. I keep thinking in my past I was pregnant. I remember being paranoid but i do not remember taking a pregnancy test. Ocd keeps putting things in my head such as “you did a pregnancy test” or “you had a miscarriage” I tell my mom this and she is my biggest supporter but I feel like I was because i’m starting to believe it and give up.